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Reading behavior in The Traitors and other social deduction games, with Zack Davies

Zack Davies was a standout contestant on the popular reality TV show The Traitors (UK, season 2). The Traitors is what is called a social deduction game, similar to the games Werewolf and Mafia. In this talk we examine psychological factors and behavioral clues that can shape players’ perceptions and decisions in this game. We discuss how friendships and rivalries can negatively affect people’s judgment. We talk about behavioral clues; for example, why it is that unusually expressive, exuberant behavior is a clue that someone is a Faithful (i.e., a “good guy”). We talk about social deduction game strategy, deception, group psychology, unconscious bias, and how to make tough judgments when there’s little actual information or evidence to go on. Zack shares behind-the-scenes stories from the show, including the intense stress of life in the castle, and a panic attack that never made it on TV. Whether you’re a fan of The Traitors or just interested in human behavior, you’ll probably find a lot to like in this episode.

Check out Zack’s podcast Pint Sized History.

A transcript of this talk is below.

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TRANSCRIPT

(transcript is automatically generated and will contain errors)

Zack Davies: I had a panic attack during a roundtable- I was basically having a mental breakdown on TV… During one of the round tables, I think it was the one where we got Paul out, he was really trying to fuck with my head on the way into that round table… Paul and I, about an hour before that, had had, uh, a scene which did make it on TV, which is us in the hallway and me saying, “I think it’s you. I’m voting for you tonight. I want you gone. I think you’re, you’re essentially emotionally manipulating people. “And he, and he was just really trying to pull on my heartstrings and crocodile tears. And when we got into that bar room, there were no cameras, but for about an hour off TV he was just staring at me, being like, “It’s not me. It’s not me.” And then I went into the round table just freaking the fuck out…I was really going through it quite badly, ’cause obviously the environment is really tuned to bring out the worst mental side of you and the most, um, like, the most irrational, emotional side of you, um, ’cause that just makes great TV…

Zach Elwood: Hi I’m Zach Elwood, host of The People Who Read People podcast. That was a clip from my talk with Zack Davies, who was a contestant on the very popular reality TV contest show The Traitors. The Traitors has been produced in multiple countries: Zack was in the second season of the British series. 

If you don’t know what The Traitors is, it’s what is called a social deduction game, similar to other social deduction games you might know, like Werewolf and Mafia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_deduction_game . You might know of the board game Secret Hitler or the video game Among Us; those are also social deduction games. 

In a social deduction game, one or more players are assigned to be the bad guys, who kill off or otherwise hurt the good guys, while the good guys try to figure out who the bad guys are based on various social interactions and also any game play that goes on. The reason it’s called a social deduction game is because much of the decisions you make are based on your interactions with the other players; you are deducing from how they act in various situations whether they’re more likely to be the bad guys or the good guys. 

In the show The Traitors, the good guys are called the Faithfuls and the bad guys are called the Traitors. 

I recently got into watching The Traitors; I watched the first season of the American series, and then I watched the second season of the British series. I wanted to talk to Zack about some thoughts I had about behavioral indicators and clues that someone was either a Faithful or a Traitor. And I also wanted to talk to him about some behind the scenes type questions I was curious about.

Another interesting thing that I learned recently. A couple years ago, based on my being known for my poker tells work, a woman sought me out for some consulting on reading behavior. She told me she was about to go on a TV show contest that involved reading other people, but wouldn’t tell me which show it was. So I gave her some rough thoughts as best I could, without knowing exactly what she was doing; thoughts ranging from poker type scenarios to social deduction game scenarios — although I’ll say my thoughts on social deduction games were much more vague a couple years ago than they are now. I had forgotten about my talking to her, but as I was watching The Traitors recently I started wondering what show she had been on, and I looked her up and realized she appeared on the Dutch series of The Traitors. I don’t want to say her name as I haven’t gotten explicit permission to mention that I worked with her, but I am trying to get her on the podcast to talk about her preparation and experience on that show, so hopefully that happens. 

I’ll also mention that I’m working on a general book about reading people, which will be called Read People For Real; that’s one reason I was researching The Traitors. If you want to stay in the loop on that book, go to my site behavior-podcast.com and put in your email to get updates. 

A little bit about my guest Zack Davies: 

He was a Faithful, so one of the good guys trying to deduce who the bad guys were. Zack struck me early on in the show as being one of the more observant contestants. One likely factor for that perception is that he worked in politics; he had worked for several parliamentary members. For that reason, I thought he wouldn’t last long, as people on that show who are perceived as smart strategists are usually targets for getting killed off by the Traitors. But he ended up going very deep; the show started with 22 people, and he was killed by The Traitors in episode 11, leaving only six people, and that was the next to last episode. 

Zack has a podcast of his own now, which is a blend of history and fun conversation; it’s called Pint Sized History, with the pint in the title referencing the fact that they drink some beer on the show. I subscribed to Pint Sized History on instagram and enjoyed the short clips they had on there. 

For those who haven’t seen this season of the show that Zack was on, it will contain some specific points that might be hard to follow, but stick around because we do talk about general ideas about reading people and reading behavioral patterns that I think you’ll find very interesting. 

Okay here’s the talk with Zack Davies: 

Zach Elwood: Hey, Zach. Thanks for joining me. 

Zack Davies: Thank you. Pleasure to be here. 

Zach Elwood: So, uh, do you wanna talk a little bit about what you’re working on these days? 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Uh, so these days, most of my time is bound up in my full-time job, which is, uh… I, I currently work in the civil service for the police, which is very different to what I did beforehand.

I used to work– When I was on “The Traitors,” I worked for, uh, MPs, which are British members of Parliament who represent constituencies, and I was the jack of all trades behind the scenes doing speeches and analysis and briefing and stuff like that. But now I have time split between my current job and my history podcast, “Pint Sized History,” uh, which is a…

Yeah, I think we were talking earlier and you said it was a labor of love, and then that’s exactly what it is. Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Where can people find it? 

Zack Davies: Uh, they can find it on any platform, Spotify, YouTube, Apple, whatever you like. I think, I think it submits to everything if you go through Spotify. So yeah, wherever you might fancy- Mm-hmm

finding a bit of history with some beers being downed, that’s probably- Yeah, some comedy … that’s probably your best bet. 

Zach Elwood: Some jokes. 

Zack Davies: Comedy, beers- Yeah … history, yep. Yeah. Amateur historians. We don’t really know exactly what we’re talking about most of the time, like some of the other podcasts, but I think that’s what makes it so charming.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I watched a few episodes. I learned a few things and had a few laughs, so. 

Zack Davies: Nice. Any favorites? 

Zach Elwood: Uh, I can’t remember. I– It, it was, it was just a few clips. It was, uh- 

Zack Davies: Oh, 

Zach Elwood: what was it? Sorry. Not a great promotion for your, for your podcast if I 

Zack Davies: can’t remember. Yeah. That is s- uh, an unsurprising, uh, occurrence for people who say they’ve watched our podcast.

Zach Elwood: No, no, no. 

Zack Davies: Which one was it? Oh, yeah. It 

Zach Elwood: was short clips. I, I can’t remember. It was, it was, it was something- Yeah, yeah, yeah … about a war  in England, you know, that’s, but I, you know, I got… It’s my own fault. I got too many things I, I consume and running through my head. Yeah. But it was good. I, I did like it. 

Zack Davies: Cool.

Glad you, glad you enjoyed it. 

Zach Elwood: Um, and you, yeah, and you, so you worked, it was actually when you, when your job came up on The Traitors in the very first episode, I was like, “Oh, this guy, I, I think he’s gonna be one of the better players just because of the nature of your, your job.” Um- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, absolutely … 

Zach Elwood: because you de- you de- you were used to dealing with a lot of kind of political thinking and perceptions and that kind of stuff, right?

Zack Davies: Yeah. I guess when you work in politics it’s, uh, it sounds a bit, uh, pig-headed saying this, um, but yeah, I think working politics, it, it, it does have an innate benefit when I think you’re on a show like The Traitors, ’cause politics is quite social. A lot of the time, uh, you’re looking between the lines at things that aren’t being said and, and how you, you kinda analyze things that are being said or aren’t.

Um, so I think, yeah, I think there’s definitely a lot of experience, probably one of the reasons I got on the show was ’cause of my job, ’cause I think it sort of leans itself into the round table and, um, the politicking between, like, the different cliques that emerge, and there was definitely times where I was basically running campaigns in the castle trying to get certain people voted out like, uh, Antony or Charlotte, who I just knew weren’t traitors, but knew that they didn’t like me, so I had to get them out, uh, uh, get them out of there for my own gain.

It was very Machiavellian and, and I was, yeah, I think I said, um, something along the lines of, “You, you might not be a traitor, but you’re a detrimental faithful,” which, which is quite a, quite a nasty thing to say, maybe. 

Zach Elwood: Um- Oh, yeah. A few pe- yeah, I think I remember a few people saying that, like, uh, “I don’t know if you’re a traitor, but you’re not a great faithful,” or something like that.

Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. It’s an easy cop-out to get someone, g- get rid of someone that you don’t like. I think that’s, like, the, uh, the diplomatic tone that people use. 

Zach Elwood: Hmm. Okay. Well let’s come back to that, uh, minute strategy. Um, I was curious, when you ended up watching the show after you, you know, exited the show and, and watched it later, were there any things about how things played out that you were surprised by, like the, you know, that Harry was a traitor or how it played out at the very end, the endgame?

Zack Davies: Yeah. I think there’s a clip of me reacting to, uh, finding out Harry was a traitor- … and I go, like, it’s like the most high-pitched like gasp I’ve ever produced in my life. Uh, so I didn’t know, and I didn’t know he wa- until he was a traitor, but then w- I guess when you find out and you go back and you look at certain things that happened throughout the, the course of the show, it makes you think that, “Oh, I guess it all sort of makes sense.”

Uh, Andrew was not too- I guess, ’cause when I read it, I saw it was Andrew and Harry left, and Andrew was not that surprising to me. I had my suspicions ’cause of the round table the night before. Uh, but Harry just shocked me. However- Mm … that being said, I think if I was still in there, and this sounds really obnoxious and arrogant to think it, I think I would’ve got him at the end.

Zach Elwood: Mm. 

Zack Davies: And so there were, there, there were a number of giveaways throughout those last two episodes, ’cause I think he started getting a bit nervous and complacent and then dropped the ball sometimes, and I think that they are smart, cool to maybe get rid of me before, before the house of cards came toppling down, which it didn’t.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I was– I wanted to ask you about specifically, you know, if you were in Jazz’s shoes at the very end, I, I was surprised that he didn’t make… And, and that’s the thing, you never know if they cut these things out or edit them or whatever, but I was surprised he didn’t make more, um, m-more of an influential, uh, a attempt to influence Molly and explain to her, you know, why, his reasoning for why he thought it was Harry, including, like, at the very end, do you think he, he could have worked in, like, “Molly, you know I’m a h- you know, if I’m voting to get somebody out at this point- Yeah, yeah

you gotta know I’m 100% faithful,” or these kinds of things, you know? That whole 

Zack Davies: there’s no reason behind it, logically, so why would I be doing it?

Zach Elwood: A quick explanation of the situation we’re talking about here. In the final endgame, with three players left, there was a Traitor, Harry, who was close with one of the Faithfuls, Molly. And another Faithful, Jaz, was trying to get Molly to vote to remove Harry so that the Faithfuls could win. But Molly voted to remove Jaz instead, which allowed Harry to win. There were a lot of factors here; one was that Molly and Harry were so close during the show and she trusted them. Another factor, as Zack talks about in here, is that a lot of people viewed Jaz with suspicion. Apparently also, when Molly voted to remove Jaz, it wasn’t that she necessarily thought he was a Traitor; she apparently perhaps thought all three of them were Faithfuls, but she was forced to vote for someone so she chose Jaz. Okay back to the talk. 

Zack Davies: I’m, I’m good friends with Molly. I think it’s a question she faces quite a lot, and I think honestly it’s, um, I think it’s important what people haven’t seen when they’re watching the show, and it, it looks very obvious and very clear. But for many episodes up until that final, everyone thought Jazz was a traitor.

Mm-hmm. Um, I was one of the few people alongside E- Evie who didn’t think that, um, ’cause I thought he was just acting too obviously faithful. Um, but there was a lot of suspicion being cast on him, and the way he went about putting forward his feelings about who it possibly… He, uh, unbelievably good at internalizing his thoughts and, like, figuring it out based on, like, gut, innate instinct.

But in terms of actually putting the thoughts out there and communicating why and how to who, um, I think he really lacked that. So which is why you see situations happen at the end where it couldn’t possibly be him, but because Harry’s a slicker charmer than, than he is, it makes it a lot harder for people who should be voting one way to actually vote that way.

Um, so I don’t, I don’t, uh, blame Molly for that. I think, you know- Right … the, the show, you know, really portrayed Jazz as being this like all-seeing, all-knowing oracle, but that was like far- It’s so 

Zach Elwood: edited. Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. It’s- It’s kinda, it was kind of… It, it wasn’t… I guess in the sense of his own personal journey throughout the show was accurate.

But in terms of what we all saw in the castle going up to that moment, it was very far from the truth. Like you see- Mm … there’s a part where, uh, he confesses to me and Evie that Harry has to be a traitor, and it looks really clear when you’re watching the TV edit of it And, and it makes a lot of sense based on his actions.

But we were sitting in that room for about, like, 20 minutes and, and Jazz was being so strange with us- Right, right … and we couldn’t, like, look past it, and it felt, it felt like, oh, my God, he was t- completely telling the truth. But, like, at that moment in time, Evie and I were like, “What the fuck is he talking about?”

Zach Elwood: Right. Right. Well, he wasn’t the be- he clearly wasn’t the best at advocating for himself. Like, a l- a lot of his explanations were like… You know, he got, he got some things right, but he also just had, like, weird, uh, kind of unusual and hard to justify, you know, suppositions that he would throw in and, and- Yeah

it did kind of come across, like, awkward in a, in a lot of, in situations, yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think there was, like, one round table where he w- where he, um, he voted for someone. It, he got offered a chance to explain why it wasn’t him, and he was just like, “No. No comment.”

Shit. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Yeah. 

Zack Davies: And, you know, I guess that, I guess it went well for him. 

Zach Elwood: I’m curious, um, I mean, Har- do you feel like a factor in Harry kinda getting a pass is ’cause he, because he was so young, and I think he came across as so unassuming to people? I felt like that was a factor in him, you know, escaping as much notice.

Zack Davies: I can, I can safely say that I completely judged him wrong. I thought he was an idiot. Um, I thought he was an imbecile, um, when I first met him at the… ‘Cause, ’cause he was voting for me, which was actually really smart just ’cause I maybe… I don’t know. He, he kind of threw me off his scent completely by voting for me immediately, like the second, third episode, then keep gunning for me.

Um, so I was like, “This guy is, he hasn’t got an ou- he hasn’t got a clue.” When in reality he’s, like, completely puppet mastering me and setting me off like a, like a, like his personal hound. 

Zach Elwood: Well, he did… Yeah, that, that was the thing. I, I, I misjudged him, too, because at the beginning I was like, “Oh, this guy’s gonna be a horrible traitor.”

Like, he’s too… He, he comes across so unassuming and, and naive, but he, he was a much, much better player and much more strategizing than I would’ve given him credit for based- Yeah … on initial, uh, feelings. So I think that, that helped him get a pass where it’s like… And also, Molly, they were both also quite young, too, so there was maybe a little bit of bond before, between them there, too, and yeah, that kind of thing.

Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, they were good friends in the castle, those two, which makes it even harder for Jazz to have any sort of breakthrough. I think people underestimate the importance of friendships and your allies and, and, and different groups of people that you socialize with in the castle as to how influential and powerful they can be in the later game.

Like, I think Leanne from Season 3 pretty much won because she was the most popular c- contestant on the show. Hmm. I haven’t seen that yet. Possibly… Oh, right. I s- I s- sorry, man. Massive spoilers there. Oh, yeah. 

Zach Elwood: That’s okay. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Um- You might wanna put me saying spoiler or, or something before that, but 

Zach Elwood: yeah.

No, I, I kinda, kinda goes with the territory, I think. We, we assume there’s gonna be some spoilers, yeah. Um, yeah. I, I wanna get back, I wanna get back to that, uh, about the, the friendships and, uh, uh, like or dislike of people, but I, I wanted to ask you about this meta level question that I was curious about where, uh, I was curious- You know, watching the show, you don’t know how much of the contestants’, uh, behaviors might be influenced by things that are not mentioned.

You know, for example, like were there other financial benefits for like staying extra days or, or, or there may be, uh, just the way that, the way that the, uh, they might set things up that you don’t really see as, as the audience. I was curious, do, do you feel like, you know, watching it, do you think the audience by and large understands what the motivations are for people?

Is it, is it pretty much on the table, like what the real motivations are? 

Zack Davies: I would say so, yeah, partially. I think mostly the, the motivations are clear. Like, you know, you, you, you wanna win the game and win the money at the end. There’s 

Zach Elwood: nothing major, there’s nothing major that the producers are hiding, uh, about, uh, strateg- strategies or- No, 

Zack Davies: no, no

Zach Elwood: incentives? 

Zack Davies: You, you get paid a stipend per day, so like you get like an extra 100 quid per day if you stay in there- Okay, 

Zach Elwood: so not much. Yeah, yeah … 

Zack Davies: which is, which is, which is not motivating enough to- 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah … you know, really like blow, blow the game or, you know, um, keep yourself in. But I th- I think the motivations people have, like when they go in there and think, “Wow, a huge reality TV show,” they think like Love Island back in 2014, ’15, I think it was, when if you went on there you were just set for life and you’d get like a BoohooMan deal or something like that.

And so I think there’s like, there, there’s a bit of personal greed that comes into it, I think, at times with the, with the game playing to stay in for as long as you can- 

Zach Elwood: Right … 

Zack Davies: to garner that like online following later. Um, and I think thankfully for our season it was still wasn’t, there wasn’t that sort of element to it.

Um, there was partially like you wanna stay in there, you know, you wanna be on TV longer and have this, this incredible experience, get closer to winning the money, and that’s the ultimate goal. But I think we see in like season three and season four, like some of the brand deals that people are getting now, it makes it far more attractive to people who might just be interested in it, not, not for the game itself or for the actual- Right

you know, the thrill of being there, but more so for the potential lucrative, uh, brand deals that can come out of it afterwards, ’cause it now has that sort of platform to do that, especially after the celebrity traitors. Um, so yeah, I think there’s, there is, there is that sort of unspoken, um, desire to stay in longer for that reason, that it might be your big break.

And I think people across all seasons maybe have, have even had that. I can say personally, I, I, I knew from the start I was never going to be a reality TV star, because I have such a big mouth and I can’t stop myself from saying stupid things. And I’ve got in trouble with the BBC ’cause, uh, they, they keep tabs on you afterwards, and they, they do some of your PR and, uh, make sure you’re not saying anything you shouldn’t say.

And I’ve got in trouble with them more times than I can count. I don’t think it’s the same case for other people. 

Zach Elwood: I, I was curious too with the editing, you know, obviously like we’re seeing, like we talked about, we’re seeing like such a small snippet of all the stuff that happens on the show. But do you think by and large the, you know, I, I real- like you said, like the jazz thing, there can be differences.

But do you think by and large they did a pretty good job like showing the, the twists and turns of the game, you know, from your s- your perspective? 

Zack Davies: Yeah. I think there’s, like there’s a bit of a main character syndrome that comes into it though, when you look at the edit and you think, like my personal… I think everyone that probably goes on the show is a bit narcissistic, so every- everyone thinks like, you know, “There’s this massive story involving me, this personal story,” which I think is so important.

And, and I had that myself obviously as well. I, I- 

Zach Elwood: You’re like, “Where’s all my footage?” 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I had these, like, intense, uh, debriefs in the talking heads room, you know, where they, they cut to you in that chair, and you’re sat there and you’re talking about it. And I had these– I, I was basically having a mental breakdown on TV.

Um, and I had a panic attack during a roundtable- 

Zach Elwood: Oh … 

Zack Davies: which was, um, and I had to be- Like Brian … taken out the room. Hey, yeah, Brian didn’t have a panic attack. He just, he, he just- Self-destructed. Yeah, I don’t know what happened to him. Yeah, he self-destructed. Yeah. Yeah. He’s, he’s not anxious or any… I don’t think he has anxiety or anything like that.

He just, uh, he c- he completely melt down. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Um- 

Zach Elwood: So you had a, you had an actual- It was just like 

Zack Davies: Chernobyl 1986 in there. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Yeah. So you, you had an actual panic attack. I mean, I, I’ve talked about, I, I, I’ve struggled with anxiety. I’ve had really bad debilitating- Yeah … panic attacks myself, so I know how bad they can be.

Um- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I, um, I’ve struggled with OCD and anxiety for the last, like, 15 years, and probably my whole life before that, but just was never diagnosed. Um, ’cause I don’t think you’re, like, suddenly exposed. I think it’s like a build up and build up. Um, so yeah, I, I, I was really going through it quite badly, ’cause obviously the environment is really tuned to bring out the worst mental side of you and the most, um, like, the most irrational, emotional side of you, um, ’cause that just makes great TV.

Um- So yeah, during one of the round tables, I think it was the one where we got Paul out, he was really trying to fuck with my head on the way into that round table. And I remember y- you get, you get sat in the bar before you go out in a line to the round table. You know, the iconic scene where you all walk down the, the hallway in single file.

And, uh, there’s no cameras at this point in time. It’s just everyone in the bar. You can’t talk ’cause you’re getting ready and herded before you go off to the round table. And Paul and I, about an hour before that, had had, uh, a scene which did make it on TV, which is us in the hallway and me saying, “I think it’s you.

I’m voting for you tonight. I want you gone. I think you’re, you’re” essentially emotionally manipulating people. And he, and he was just really trying to pull on my heartstrings and crocodile tears. And when we got into that bar room, there were no cameras, but for about an hour off TV he was just staring at me, being like, “It’s not me.

It’s not me.” 

Zach Elwood: Oh my God. 

Zack Davies: And then I went into the round table just freaking the fuck out. Uh, it was cold in there, so my– I started hyperventilating. I had to leave. Um, I was sat outside with some of the, uh, the welfare team, uh, doing deep breaths and trying to take my mind off it, and I was really in, in quite an intense panic attack.

Zach Elwood: Hmm. 

Zack Davies: And eventually, 10 minutes later, I went back in. Um, and, and that was not televised, and there was this whole mental health journey I had in the show where, where I kind of went from feeling really, like, lonely and, and weak and depressed at points to, to feeling really strong by the end of it mentally.

Um- 

Zach Elwood: Hmm … 

Zack Davies: and that was, that just made none of the cut. So I felt like my- Oh … entire personal story that I had there just didn’t make any… And, and it would’ve, uh, my, my problem with that is not that, you know, I think that it needs to be there, but the comments I got afterwards about being really obnoxious and not listening and, and being f- so focused on some people and, and some really horrible comments about me actually would’ve- Right

it would’ve been painted in in a much more reasonable context when you’d see some of the clips of, like, “Oh, he actually, you know, he wasn’t very healthy.” But they’re not gonna- Going 

Zach Elwood: through some stuff, yeah … 

Zack Davies: yeah, but they’re not gonna- But, uh- … show that on the BBC, are they? 

Zach Elwood: Well, that, uh, that would’ve made great, I, I would think that would make great television, and also a chance to talk about the, the stress of it and such.

But yeah, I mean, props to you for doing that. Uh, uh, ’cause I, I think I’d be afraid to go on a show like that precisely because I think that would, I think I’d be afraid of that happening to me. Yeah. So props to you for, uh, working through it. I lied. Yeah. 

Zack Davies: I lied quite a bit about how, just how bad my mental health was to get- Hey, well, good job

to get, to get on the show. And I, I said, “Oh, you know, uh, mental health? Well, a bit of anxiety maybe. Uh, oh, uh, uh, not, not, not much though. No, I’ve never had a panic attack before.” And then the hee-hoo, hee-hoo, hee-hoo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just as I, as I get in there. Hey. Like one foot on the computer desk. 

Zach Elwood: Props, it worked out, it worked out for you.

Um, I would think they’d be more likely to put you on the show, but, uh, yeah. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Uh- I think, uh, British TV’s gone a bit, uh, really heavy into safeguarding because of- Mm … some high-profile events with, uh, Caroline Flack- Ah … and Mike Foss. There’s– I can’t remember his name, but he was on Love Island, the two people that committed suicide.

Um- Oh, 

Zach Elwood: I see. Yeah, they wanna be- So- … really careful on that front. Yeah, so- Yeah, 

Zack Davies: I see … so British reality TV has taken, like, a, a far more, uh, safeguard-y course. 

Zach Elwood: Responsible. Yeah, okay. That’s– Well, that’s nice. Uh, that’s a good one. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, I want to ask you, um, you know, if y- obviously you, you took certain approaches in there.

It was, it was remarked how you, uh, you, you came on a bit strong at the beginning, you know, with, uh, talking to people about your, your thoughts and your accusations, and you were a bit loose, you know, and, and people talked about your personality in the beginning. I’m, I’m curious, um, do you have any… If you were gonna do it over again, uh, are there any strategies that you would take, uh, about approaches that you would majorly change up?

Zack Davies: I think the, the s- the strategy to take is play really dumb, and I think thankfully for me, I, I naturally play quite dumb. I don’t think there, uh, I don’t think there is, like, a plan B for me. I think my, my plan A is my only plan, and that is, like, being unapologetically myself, which gets me in a lot of trouble often, both, uh, you know, on the TV show, then also my personal life and my work life.

So, um, I don’t think I, I have the, the ability to play it any other way, probably ’cause I’m, like, ADHD and probably neurodivergent as well, by that same metric. So I think there’s the, the only, yeah, the only strategy I have is that. But if I, if I could control it, I would definitely play far more like, “Oh, it’s them?

Oh, I never thought it would’ve been them.” Y- yeah, and keep my suspicions very close to my chest, and, and, and probably accuse Faithfuls constantly. If I was a Faithful, I would, I would probably go for accusing the Faithfuls to be an ally to the Traitors, and then eventually get down the line hopefully, ’cause they’ll see that I’m just causing problems for the Faithful, and that it’s better to keep me in than not 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Uh, 

Zack Davies: I want to- ‘Cause 

Zach Elwood: it really, I 

Zack Davies: guess the only thing that matters at the end of the day is if, if you can get to the final, and then that’s where the game actually really starts. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, I mean, to, to your point, it’s like the major theme that pops out of, I’ve watched two seasons. I’ve one watched, I’ve watched an American season, and I watched your season.

But the thing that really stands out for a pattern is, like, how often people focus on people that just do anything unusual, like whether it’s like, you know, talking, uh, accusing other people early, or whether it’s, like, being anxious, or whether it’s whatever. It, it’s a range of things that just stand out to people because people are looking for anything when it comes to, like, the banishment.

They’re- Mm-hmm … because there’s so little information to go on. So anybody that stands out in a little bit of way, like for example, like just your one comment, I think it was like the first or second episode, it was like just a joke you made about sleeping well tonight. And people, because there’s so little to go on, people were, people were like, “That was an unusual comment.

Is he saying that because he’s maybe a traitor?” And it was just such a weak lead. But like, there’s so little to go on, so anything unusual that somebody might say stands out. So it’s almost like to making yourself nondescript- 

Zack Davies: Yeah … 

Zach Elwood: is, like, the best strategy. But also, I mean, that’s exactly what the traitors do, is like they’re trying to just make themselves nondescript too.

So, you know, trying not to get banished and, and trying not to be perceived as a traitor and not go out early, it’s like you don’t want to stand out in some major way by doing something unusual early on- Mm … is, it seems to me like that’s a major, a major mistake that people would make, is just acting in unusual ways.

Yeah. You got by, you got by with it, but I think in a different version of reality, you, they might have focused more on you for, for some of these things you were doing early on. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, absolutely. The, the, the kind of flip side for me is, um, if it, if it wasn’t Brian that went out on that round table, I’m almost certain it would’ve been me.

Um- Mm. ‘Cause we had, there was the exact same reasons between two of us as to why we were both, um, ’cause I think I had three votes for that round table, which was way less than the six that the other three had. Um, but for the exact same reasons as me, that I was just strange and acting weirdly, it, it could’ve been very equally- Yeah, weirdly

yeah. Perceived 

Zach Elwood: to be. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Ab- abnormal, I guess. Um- Yeah … and, and that was the exact reason that Brian got eliminated, and then no one obviously realized that personality does not dictate whether you are or aren’t a traitor or faithful. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Right … 

Zack Davies: so, so he basically took a big bullet for me to be able to get as far as I did in the show, ’cause it- Mm

I think it enabled people to look at it a bit differently and think, “Okay, maybe if they’re actually just weird, they’re just weird and, and not a faith- and not a traitor.” 

Zach Elwood: Well, not only did you avoid the getting banished part, I, if I were a traitor, I would’ve killed you off very early because I w- I would’ve been like, “This guy’s, uh, more sophisticated than, than, than a lot of the opponents.”

Th- that was another reason I was surprised you lasted as long as you did, ’cause I- Yeah … you would’ve been one of my first people I, I got out of there. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I think people just thought I was… And people kept calling me a silly Billy the entire way through. I think when we wanted to call someone an idiot in, in the castle, we kept referring to people as silly Billies instead, ’cause maybe it’s a bit more diplomatic.

It’s a very, it’s a very English term. Um, so yeah, like whenever… I, I basically had the silly Billy card for about five episodes, and people thought I was like a, a, a conspiracy theorist when, when I am a flat realist. Like, I don’t care. I don’t, I don’t believe in any conspiracy theories, but somehow I got voted the most likely to believe in conspiracy theories.

I was like, “Me?” 

Zach Elwood: Right. “

Zack Davies: Over Tracy, who’s a psychic?” Like, why? 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Zack Davies: Like, I couldn’t, I could not believe that happened, but th- that worked as, as great cover for, I guess- Hmm … maybe being a bit more, um, analytical behind the scenes. Um, I think- Yeah, 

Zach Elwood: I wanted to- 

Zack Davies: Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Sorry. Oh, go ahead. 

Zack Davies: No, no, no. Go ahead 

Zach Elwood: Uh, so I, I was gonna talk about, you know, I, s- I, I was working on an episode that was gonna talk about some of my thoughts about indicators that someone was a faithful or a traitor, just kinda summarizing my thoughts.

And this– I’ve been thinking about this for a while because I was thinking about social deduction games a couple years ago when somebody, uh- Mm. I told you that somebody hired me to do some consulting for them. They were going on a show, and, uh, I– they wouldn’t tell me what show it was, but it, it turned out it was, um, “The Traitors,” the, the, the, uh, Dutch version.

Zack Davies: Ah. 

Zach Elwood: So, 

Zack Davies: uh- The original 

Zach Elwood: version. So- The, uh- Yeah … De, 

Zack Davies: De Verraders. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, yeah. And I haven’t gotten permission from her to say who it was, but so I, I, she– I’m still working on, uh, getting that. I might talk to her for the podcast eventually. But, um, so I’ve been thinking about social deduction games for a while, and then recently got into finally watching “The Traitors.”

I’d never seen “The Traitors”. Um, but, so I’ve been thinking about these, these indicators, and I’m, I was curious to get your thoughts for some of this. Uh, I mean, one thing that stood out to me as far as, uh, strategies for deducing who to vote, you know, who to banish, who to think were traitors, I think a lotta, I think the strategy a lotta people have is, is completely reversed of what it should be, because a lot of people- Yeah, absolutely

are focused on, they’re focused on like what are the signs that someone is a traitor, but they should be focused first on what are the signs that someone is a faithful, because I think there’s certain things that people do that make them quite unlikely to be traitors. It can just be like various things, and that I wanted to talk to you about a few of those specific things, but I’m curious at what you think of that overall strategy as like focus first on– Because there is so little information, especially at first.

It’s like we should, we should be focused on like the things that people are doing that make them unlikely to be traitors, and then if you’re gonna pick randomly for who to vote off, it should be people outside of that group, basically. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I think, um, I, I would be a pessimist and argue that I think both, um, looking for signs in either of the two is, has the, the same outcome, which is you’re n- you’re never going to find what you think someone is based on what you’re looking for and what the metrics you have to, to do that are.

So I think like for a faithful, probably look for someone a bit more nervous, um, a bit more, uh, maybe, maybe voting with the herd or, or voting for people that aren’t traitors as like clear signs that they are. But I, I just think, um, that could also be the sign of a, of a, of a great traitor who’s purposely trying to look like a faithful, uh, in a really skilled way.

So I think the, there probably are parameters that you could generally set which can give you a good idea of who’s who. Um, and, you know, there were people that I knew were faithfuls, and was completely unsurprised when they obviously were faithfuls at the end. I think the majority of people that we, that I voted for as traitors at, with, with an inkling of the idea that they were actually faithfuls, turned out to be faithfuls.

Um, so, so yeah. I guess it, it- But in that same metric as Harry in our season played completely like a faithful the entire time, like he didn’t take money, which for me is a red flag . Um, so yeah, I, I don’t know. I, I just think- 

Zach Elwood: Well, yeah. Go ahead … 

Zack Davies: I just think it’s quite tricky when you’re put in that situation because the game plan feels like it goes out the window.

I think the main thing that matters is securing your own personal survival. So it’s less of identifying who’s who, it’s more waiting for the show to feed you the cues, and more keeping a strong group of friends around you to keep you in till that point, till when you get there. Um, you have to do a few things along the way, like you have to shout some accusations.

You can’t be completely silent. You have to throw out some accusations and hope you get quite lucky. Um, but I think it’s so luck based to get to the point where you actually get fed something, uh, that you’re just relying on, on having the people around you to actually have your back before then. Um, but yeah, I think, I think there are, there are certain- Yeah

there are certain things which, which can be, can be giveaways too. 

Zach Elwood: Well, I think, yeah, let’s– So I’m gonna talk about some specifics and, and to be clear- 

Zack Davies: I can tell you if I agree or not 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, exactly. That I wanna get your take on them as somebody who’s lived through this. Um, and I real- you know, the, I wanna say too, it’s like, it’s not like, it’s not like I think these are necessarily powerful.

I think some of them can be, but it’s also like, it, it’s also the fact that you’re operating in such a low information environment where it’s like, well, if we’re gonna v- if I’m gonna vote for somebody to banish them, I’m gonna, I, I’m gonna base it on these like slight indicators I got, even if they’re like far from highly reliable, right?

It’s, I think- Mm-hmm … that’s a part of it too. But I think there’s also the added difficulty of like, even if it was early in the game and I felt highly confident, like these people are faithful, so I’m gonna vote for one of these people, you know, to banish them. Even if I was highly confident, it’s not like I could like easily convince people of that because it, it’s like, A, it might be weak information, B, you’re gonna be suspicious for trying to get other people to, to vote for those people- Mm-hmm

and you, you make yourself a target. So there’s a number of reasons why these things could be hard to use, but I, I’ll, I’ll give you an example of some stuff I’m talking about. So for example, so one of the, uh, patterns that I think is, i- is h- highly likely or significantly likely to mark somebody as a, as a faithful is doing something that’s like overtly strange and suspicious.

Like, so I’ll give you an example. Like when Di- like when Diane, uh, vo- who, when they voted, when they voted for somebody and Diane v- uh, was, was correct that that person, um, was a, uh, was a faithful I think, uh, and, and, and they had banished her, um, and she said she was a Faithful. Daenen was like, “Yes.” And everybody was like-

that was a, that was an unusual, uh, unusual thing to do. Maybe that was, like, a sign she’s a traitor. But to me, like immediately, it’s like a traitor would never have done that weird thing that theoretically marks you. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Like, ‘

Zach Elwood: cause, ’cause it’s a combination of two things. It’s like things that Faithfuls might conceivably do that a traitor would be unlikely to do, and then B, things that a traitor would have no incentive to do because it’s just so weird.

Like a, a traitor would never be like, “Yes,” and then be like, “Oh, w- why did I, uh, you know, why did I…” Then they have to, like, explain it. It ju- it just wouldn’t make sense. So it’s like, it’s these things that, like, would, would in no way help a traitor to put on, right? It’s like, uh, that, that’s one example of what I’m thinking of.

Uh- Yeah. 

Zack Davies: But I’m curious what you make of that. Yeah, no, I, I, I agree on that one. I think, um, the, the, uh, I guess to that extent it’s the instinctive behaviors where people just, like, sort of- drop the facade and they act like, you know, human beings do. I think- Right, exuberant … tra- traitors are far more likely to be constantly maintaining composure, know, uh, plotting their reactions to when someone reveals they’re a Faithful, “Oh, head in hands,” that sort of moment.

Whereas Faithfuls are like, “I’ve told you, I fucking told you,” that sort of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think that’s a good 

Zach Elwood: one. Yeah. So the Diane thing, yeah, I think, I think that’s, um, it’s kinda like to me it’s like if you can assemble a few of those kinda clues for a few players and be like, “I’m highly confident that at least these set of people are Faithful based on these few clues I’ve picked up,” that at least gives you, like, a basis to be like, “These are some people I can trust,” you know?

And that’s, that’s who I’m gonna use to form my inner circle. So for example, if I saw Diane do that and some other things I’m gonna talk about in a second, if I saw some of these clues from people and I felt like these ma- th- these things make it significantly more likely these people are Faithfuls, that I’d be like, “Okay, I’m gonna try to, you know, get in good with those people.”

But then, then, then again, theoretically that’s, as a traitor, that’s also the same strategy I would, I would maybe take too is where, where it’s like, uh, those, ’cause those people, the more exuberant people or whatever, are also the people that, uh, people are gonna trust more. But anyway, I’ll, I’ll leave that aside for now.

I wanna talk about another pattern which you, you touched on, the, um, kinda like the highly emotional, uh, you know, uh, kind of swearing that, “I’m a Faithful,” kind of behavior which we, you know, that’s another pattern I’ve seen is, like, it’s pretty unlikely… I think Paul was the main exception in the two seasons I, I’d watched, where someone was very exuberantly swearing that they were, uh, you know, were, were a Faithful, uh, when they, when they weren’t.

Like, the usual pattern is, like, Faithfuls make all sorts of promises that they’re, they’re Faithfuls- Yeah … 

Zack Davies: and 

Zach Elwood: say things like, “You know, you’re gonna, you’re gonna vote me, you’re gonna banish me, and I’m gonna stand up there and tell you I, I’m a Faithful, and you’re gonna be very disappointed, like, I swear.”

I mean, one guy on the American show even said something like, “I swear on my children I’m a Faithful.” You know, like- Now 

Zack Davies: it would, it would- That’s what, that’s what Paul 

Zach Elwood: did last season. Yeah. So he’s, uh- And I think he’s, he’s kind of, I mean, Paul, Paul even, like, cried or at least put on the appearance of crying which is also very unusual for- uh, traitors, I think.

Like it’s an outlier 

Zack Davies: because- Yeah, I’ve, I’ve called, I’ve called Paul associate pa- associate pat before. And, and I’ve been told off for calling him that, but I completely maintain it. 

Zach Elwood: Hey, you know, he’s, you know, you could have, you could, you could have some of those m- personality aspects. Um, but I do think it’s like, uh, you know, if I, if I’m looking for clues, and again, we’re talking about operating in a low information environment where like, you know, we’re just looking for like little things even if we think they’re far from 100% reliable.

If I saw somebody like crying from the stress of the situation, you know, I’d be like, “Oh, I think they’re quite unlikely to be a, uh, a traitor.” And if I saw somebody like making dramatic over and over, you know, statements about how they swear they’re a Faithful and they, they seem very exuberant about it and unrestrained, getting back to that thing we talked about, like Diane being exuberant and being like, “Yes.”

It’s like some of that behavior stands out to me as much more likely to be Faithful. But I’m curious for your take on that. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. I, I think for our season especially, that is, that’s the case. Um, the first season in the UK, which I don’t think you’ve watched yet, I’m not entirely sure. No. But, um, there was constant crying the entire way through.

Everyone was crying. Uh, even the Tra- The Traitors too? Even the Traitors were crying, yeah. But one Traitor’s- What were they 

Zach Elwood: crying about? Like acting or were they genuinely upset? 

Zack Davies: Uh, I think they found it really emotionally… I, so, so I think the problem with the first season is they got too invested in the game emotionally.

Uh, they weren’t able to, to see what the game was. You know, they weren’t have, able to have the self-awareness during the game ’cause they didn’t have the hindsight of being a later season who had seen how- Ah … the game works and how it pits- Yeah … each other against each other. They, so they were really taking everything personally.

When someone died they were like- 

Zach Elwood: Right … “

Zack Davies: I can’t fucking believe that he’s killed that per- What? … the Traitor killed that person.” As if they actually thought that they, they had died. 

Zach Elwood: Um- Wow. 

Zack Davies: So in our season we had the hindsight of that and we were far more like cold, and logical, and emotional. I say logical, not very logical at all actually.

Um, but yeah, there, there were two instances besides Paul of people crying, and both times they were Faithfuls. Um, so, so yeah, for our specific season, uh, which there can be variations and, and, and fluctuations throughout the seasons, people might have far more emotional seasons than others, the people that cried typically were Faithfuls 

Zach Elwood: What about the swearing, uh, you know, uh, extensive s- you know, “I swear that I’m a Faithful,” these kinds of statements.

Do you, do you have any thoughts on that? 

Zack Davies: Yeah. I, I, I agree it’s probably a good sign that you’re a Faithful. Uh, Traitors could probably rehearse it and, and make it sound convincing, and I, I think they can do it- Yeah … to a certain extent. Um, but I don’t think it will matter if you do that. That’s the only problem.

I think saying you’re a Faithful these days after four seasons of the show, uh, has very- Right … has very little effect on changing people’s minds. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Well, that’s, that’s what I wanna– I actually am curious to watch. Specifically what you’re talking about is, like, as the seasons go on, players get better and more balanced, and they, they think about all the things that have gone on the previous seasons, and that’s an interesting way to view it.

It’s like people are becoming more game theory optimal, which to me would, would equate to, like, everybody becoming much more, like, subdued and harder to read, and all these kinds of 

Zack Davies: things. Yeah. Y- you’d have thought that, but I haven’t seen Season Four. Supposedly it was the worst group of Faithfuls yet.

Zach Elwood: Oh, I gotta, I gotta see this. So- I gotta see this … 

Zack Davies: apparently it was a very good season. Um, I obviously think our season was the best. I think we had the hindsight of seeing the first season and then coming in with, with, with cool characters. Um, but yeah. I, I think interesting you say that. I think people don’t get any better at the game.

I think, I think they- Hmm … still just fall back on, uh, emotion rather than logic, and they make the same mistakes that every series the Tray- um, uh, Traitors makes in every different country, in every different language. Th- Wow … they’re still the same things because people ultimately need to, to have the herd mentality and need to find things to, to cling onto, and then you have that for five, six, seven episodes before people start going, “Mm, actually this person’s said very little.

They’re quite influential in the backgrounds but very quiet at the round table. Uh, it’s, it might be them.” But people just go, “He’s the loudest, he’s got the most obvious. It, it’ll be the most easy to get votes for him. Um, let’s go for them.” 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Zack Davies: But yeah. I think, I think, uh, a lot of the time when, in my experience when I played it, maybe other people from different series might have a similar, similar sort of take on it, but I played it by numbers game quite a lot.

I tried to, I tried to, I tried to, uh, look at it as who’s going to vote for who, and who’s gonna vote for me, and what numbers and what people do I need to kind of influence to make sure I achieve the situation where I don’t get voted out, or I make someone else get voted out. Um, so I was just– Yeah. I, I’m, I’m sure people do think about that, but my, my game was ruled at certain points by have I got the numbers?

Have, have I got these people one side, uh, and isolating its cliques and stuff like that. So, um- Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: You, you mentioned, uh, I mean, ’cause so much of … We, we kind of brushed over it, but so much of the game, how, how people react in the game is about who they like and who they dislike. You … And I’ve seen that so many times where it’s like the, the

If somebody likes somebody, they’re … Just like in real life, if somebody likes somebody they’re, they’re gonna cut them a lot of slack, they’re gonna trust them more. 

Zack Davies: Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: If somebody instinctually … So many times in that game some- it seems like s- s- somebody just disliking some- somebody for some reason or other leads them to try to vote them off.

Like, you saw that with Diane- Yeah … and Anthony, where Diane was like, “He cut me in line,” or something in the beginning. Yeah. And she’s like, “That’s why I think, that’s why I think he’s a traitor.” I was like, “That makes no sense.” Like, that, that- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, yeah … 

Zach Elwood: that thinking. But that, that’s like- That one, that one felt quite charged

how so many people reacted. Yeah. I was 

Zack Davies: like- Diane, Diane just immediately, uh, not liking Anthony for literally no reason. I, I think we were all looking at- 

Zach Elwood: Yeah … 

Zack Davies: going, “That’s a bit, that’s a bit sus.” Um- 

Zach Elwood: But I mean, it, it, it’s, it happened so much. I mean, when I watched the American thing it was so much about like, “I don’t like them, so I’m gonna

I think they’re a traitor because of this,” you know? 

Zack Davies: Yeah. I, I think the thing that goes unsaid a lot with The Traitors is the unconscious biases that people have towards each other. So, um, typically in the UK seasons, more often than not, people that aren’t white, um, that may have like, you know, uh, Asian origins or Asian heritage, um, or, you know, um, [00:38:00] maybe just generally just non-white people get voted out at a far higher rate than people who are white.

‘Cause I guess the, the innate bias of a, of a white nation is to, is to look at white people and think they’re more trustworthy and, and, and more compassionate and stuff like that. Uh, so yeah, I think, I think- I think all the winners in the UK Traitors have been white, and there’s been, uh, three… I’m trying to calculate it now in my head.

I think there’s been s- uh, eight winners, and they’ve all been white. So, so like there is this like unspoken unconscious bias. I think the, the furthest that someone who wasn’t white got on the show was Jazz in my season. Mm. Um, so yeah, I, I don’t actually know how I’ve gotten to this conversation. Oh, 

Zach Elwood: well, we were talk- The Diane, 

Zack Davies: the Diane 

Zach Elwood: We were talking about the like and, uh, dislike, and even just like whether they’re, you know, aware of it or not.

Yeah. It’s like these, whether these, these small things or even just something as small as like apparently Anthony, you know, like cut her off in that picture or something. It’s like- 

Zack Davies: Yeah. But 

Zach Elwood: whatev- whatever, whatever it may- It 

Zack Davies: was so stupid, yeah … 

Zach Elwood: whatever it may be, 

Zack Davies: it’s like- He was like, he was like very friendly on the train or something, and then hasn’t said a word to her in the car, so even though you’ve known him for literally like 40- Yeah

48 hours. And, and, and also the- And he’s got no right to speak to you. 

Zach Elwood: Right, and also the fact that like people are always more friendly, like when you first meet, and everybody’s putting on their, you know, best face socially. Yeah, exactly, yeah. But then like you, you enter the game or it goes to the second day, and everybody’s much different.

But there’s all these, there’s all these things that people were basing their decisions on that are just like really bad, you know. Uh, but that’s the thing, though. Like, they’re so low information and, and they’re told, “You gotta banish somebody,” so all these like- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, it’s tough … 

Zach Elwood: random associations, uh, come out.

Um- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I was surprised that me, uh, doing stupid shit didn’t come up immediately, ’cause literally within the first hour of me being there, I don’t know if you, if, if you recall when you watch series of The Traitors, you get lined up as, um, who’s most likely to win, who’s most likely to lose. Yeah. And most, most people put themselves in the middle if they think, you know, that they will last long.

Uh, I was stood next to Jasmine, and she had her arms like up by her side a little bit. And Claudia asked us, “Who wants to be a traitor?” And I thought it’d be funny to knock Jasmine’s arm in the air. As they were filming. I’d known her, I’d known her literally for about 24 hours, maybe less than that, sort of 12 hours.

Um, and was already just taking liberties with, with my fellow show, uh, contestants, trying to like mug them off and make them, make them laugh and stuff like that. So I was surprised that, that my stupid actions didn’t get me in trouble straight away, ’cause it’s a very easy thing for the herd to have their sights on.

Um- 

Zach Elwood: Okay. So I wanna, I wanna come back to that, ’cause I did have a, a specific observation or question about that. So the, one of the other clues I think is a pattern is, um, is people being rude to each other. So I think it’s quite unlikely, because a traitor’s main motivation usually is to lay back and, you know, go with the herd and be unobserved.

So I think when people are being rude to each other, uh, depending on the context, but I think by and large, if there’s like animosity being expressed quite openly to people, I think that’s a pretty significant pattern of somebody, uh, indicator of being a faithful. Like, so for example, on the- In the, uh, American, uh, one I watched, there were these two, two women who were, like, really fighting each other, like, really rude to each other, and I was– If I was an outside observer in that show, I would’ve been like, “Both of these people are very unlikely to be traitors,” because a traitor just wouldn’t be, like, creating drama and- Yeah

theoretically bringing attention, negative attention onto themselves, right? So, and, and, and in your s- in your series, 

Zack Davies: there was also, like- Yeah, I, 

Zach Elwood: I have 

Zack Davies: no fucking problem being rude to people. 

Zach Elwood: Right, which I think- May- maybe- … you know, I was gonna get into- 

Zack Davies: Yeah. Maybe you’re quite 

Zach Elwood: probably that. I was gonna get into that.

Uh, but also, like, you know, there was a few moments where, like, a few interactions that happened where, like, you know, uh, Jasmine was getting, getting kinda heated with a few people, and like- Yeah … you know, obviously we’re again, we’re t- we’re again talking patterns that can be- 

Zack Davies: Yeah … 

Zach Elwood: far from 100%, but it’s, it’s like I d- I do think those kind of like getting back to, like, the more exuberant kinda behavior can indicate- Yeah

uh, a- a- and will- and willing to be, and willing to irritate other people, which maps over to a bunch of games like poker. Like, if you see kind of, like, agitating or rude behavior in poker from somebody who’s made a big bet, it’s quite unlikely that they’re bluffing, because a, a bluffer doesn’t wanna trigger someone’s dislike a- and get them to call them, you know, even out of spite or something, right?

So it’s like it maps over to some other- You haven’t been to one of 

Zack Davies: my home games, then. 

Zach Elwood: Well, maybe, yeah, maybe you got some, some outliers. But what do, what do you think of that pattern, though, of the- No, 

Zack Davies: I agree. I 

Zach Elwood: think- … the kind of like agitating- 

Zack Davies: Yeah, I think that’s a, that’s a good one. I hadn’t actually, uh, given much thought to, but yeah, I think angrier people are typically more faithful.

It’s probably, you could probably plot it on a graph and, and there would be- Hmm … a clear correlation. Um, but yeah, like Leanne season three, very rude to everyone, ends up, uh, being one of the faithfuls that won in the end. Um, me- Oh … uh, me and Jasmine were rude constantly to each other, but we had this, like, really great, like, love, love-hate relationship, and we’re still very good friends now.

Um- Mm-hmm … so I guess we felt like we had that relationship to be able to shout at each other across the room really aggressively. And I felt like I, um, I, I naturally, when I’m sure of my moral convictions, I get quite forceful and passionate about them. Um, probably a neurodivergent thing. Uh, so, so, so feel, feel very comfortable shouting at people aggressively.

And there was actually, there was one time in our round table where, um, where Claudia had a go at us for being rude to each other, ’cause we’d been… There was about an hour shouting match between me, Jasmine, Ross, and I think Evie. And we were, uh, it might’ve been the episode that, uh, Ross got banished. Uh, we found out he was both a traitor and Diane’s son.

And, uh, what you didn’t see that was not shown in the edit was Claudia going, “Calm down. Everyone calm down.”‘Cause, ’cause, uh, yeah, on our season we all just felt totally fine doing that. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Mm. 

Zack Davies: And, and Ross was, um, despite being a traitor then, up to that moment he had been aggressive at people, but he only been made a traitor in that episode.

So yeah- Right … I think, I think, I think, uh, if you look at our season, there were four people who were, like, fairly rude to people constantly, and at all Faithless. Right. So, uh- Yeah … yeah, I agree with that one. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Um, so yeah, I wanted to get back to this, uh, ’cause some 

Zack Davies: of the- Does this, does this shine very well on me, though, that I’m, that I’m very happy being rude to people?

Zach Elwood: No, no. I, I- … that’s actually what I wanna pivot to is because, uh, I mean, a lot of the things we’ve talked about, the patterns are related to, like, kind of exuberance. It’s, like, unrestrained behavior, right? Is, is more tied to, uh, Faithfuls. So I think an interesting thing I observed with your journey was your, your personality.

You know, like your, your jokiness, you’re saying unusual things. You’re, you’re, uh, thinking out loud about who could, who could be the f- the Traitors and the, and the Faithfuls and such. I think that did draw attention onto you that theoretically could have gotten you out. But once you got past that kind of like beginning level game, I think you’re– I think once people started realizing that some of their bad deductions that had occurred, like, you know, basing banishments on these really bad clues, I think once you got past that first stage of the game, a lot of the Faith- the Faithfuls were more likely to start seeing your exuberance for what it was, that an indicator that you were a Faithful, so they started trusting you more, you more.

So I think that there was, at least from, you know, again, the, the show is highly edited, but the vibe that I got was that even if they, you know… I, I felt like you were f- fairly off the radar as a potential Traitor towards the end, and I think that was mainly because of you, how you handled yourself, because I think people started realizing, like even if they couldn’t consciously, you know, explain it, I think people felt the sense that like you were trustworthy because you were willing to think out loud, you were willing- Yeah

to joke around, you were willing to talk openly. So I think even if they couldn’t like necessarily elucidate what it, what it was, I think you kind of had people’s trust by the end. Because I didn’t, unless they edited it out, I didn’t hear people- No, no, no … talking about you as a potential Traitor. I think that, that, 

Zack Davies: that rings fairly true, uh- Yeah

which is pretty much why I was murdered when I was. I think I’d, I’d outlived my usefulness to the Traitors. Yeah. Um, ’cause I helped Harry on his one last big plot to win the game by- … aggressively vying for a strategy that was wrong, which ex- exactly the strategy that he wanted everyone to think was the case.

Um, and, uh, yeah, that was the moment where I was obviously a Faithful ’cause, you know, I’d, I’d got out, I think I’d voted for the three Traitors that had got out and made compelling arguments for why. Um, and yeah, there was no need to keep me anymore ’cause I guess, yeah, the, the- Mm. Mm-hmm … the unusual, irrational, angry, passionate Zach will, might turn your head to you in the next episode if you don’t murder him.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, that’s what I meant. That was why I, I was surprised you, you did last as long. It’s like I felt like you were- Yeah, same … either gonna get banished or, uh, you’d get killed off really quickly. So- Do, 

Zack Davies: do you wanna, do you wanna guess, uh, how long my partner thought that I was gonna be on the show for? 

Zach Elwood: Um, two episodes 

Zack Davies: Two episodes.

Bang on. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, you survi- I mean, you, you ran through a lot of gauntlets of theoretical, 

Zack Davies: uh- Yeah, I surprised myself. I was there for … I was, I was out there for 21 days, which is quite- Yeah … quite a long time to, to be in that constant fucking hell of a mental trauma environment. But, uh- 

Zach Elwood: Oh, yeah, I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it, honestly.

Like, I … Even if somebody was like, “We’re gonna pay you a lot of money to be on this show,” I, I just think my, my own, uh, at least how I, how I perceive them, the, the limitations would’ve, uh, scared me off. But do, do you think based on your experience, do you feel like it, it, it, it, it, uh, that experience of going through the, the panic attack and such, do you think you grew as a person and were more able to deal with adversity from that?

Zack Davies: Yeah, absolutely. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Yeah … 

Zack Davies: I, I felt terrible on the show, and I was like a husk of a man after a show. My, my partner, like three months down the line, I, I started feeling healthier, and she was like, “Oh, God, I was worried about you for a second after that. It’s like the first couple weeks after the show you weren’t right.”

And, uh, and, and I, I think it made me far more confident and far more self-assured. Um- Mm. It, it made me have a bit more conviction in my thoughts, ’cause I felt like I, I, I played the game well, and I, you know, I was able to go to a complete strange environment with 21 other people and still have a nice time and make friends despite all the stuff that was happening mentally for me.

Um, and it really threw out my, threw me out my comfort zone, and it’s really intense character development, um, ’cause it’s the most high-stress of situations. You’re seeing if you float or sink. And I think on- Mm-hmm … taking the, the, the, I guess the whole show together and my whole time there, I think on the whole I floated quite nicely.

Um- 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm … 

Zack Davies: so, so yeah, it w- it was, it was great. And then it aired, and then that was something else entirely. So, um- Hmm. Yeah, 

Zach Elwood: how long after did it air after you were done? 

Zack Davies: Oh, I think it aired about s- five months or six months after we filmed. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Oh, wow. 

Zack Davies: So yeah- Yeah … that was, that was a crazy period of my life where basically for the next six months I was actually a celebrity.

Um- Yeah. And it sounds crazy saying that, but, um, I was stopped basically every time I left the house. Uh, if I went to- Yeah … a public area, everyone would be staring at me. Uh, I’d be asked for pictures every time I, I, I walked past someone. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Wild … 

Zack Davies: and, and then I grew my hair out a little bit more. You can’t see under the hat, but my hair is very long right now when I was booked on the show.

Oh, yeah. Um, my hair is … Like, people stopped recognizing me. Um- And, and unfortunately that happened just as I started enjoying being recognized. So, like, I, I really- … I really hated it at the start, and it made me even more anxious. But as I, as I felt healthier and more mentally secure, I was like, “Oh, this is actually quite fun.”

And, uh- Mm … and then it stopped. And I had, I’d had my five minutes 

Zach Elwood: Very cool. Very cool. Well, thanks for sharing all that. It’s, uh, I really appreciate hearing behind the scenes and hearing your personal struggles. I think people- Yeah, thank you … will really like to hear that. And, um, yeah, is there anything else you’d care to share that we haven’t touched on that really come to mind about that people might be interested in w- in terms of like…

Oh, yeah, d- like, uh, I was gonna ask you about deductions that you were especially proud of that maybe didn’t make it into the show. Anything 

Zack Davies: come to mind for that? Yeah. I think I was the first person to suggest that Paul was a traitor. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Hmm … 

Zack Davies: and I don’t think it, that shows itself in the edit. I think I- Hmm

pretty much called that morning at the breakfast when he was in the dungeon that he was a traitor, and I think that- Hmm … led to Paul getting voted out. But I think, uh, Harry took all the credit for getting him out, even though I felt like I was far more of a focal point in that. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Ah. 

Zack Davies: I felt qu- I, I, I was really impressed at how I didn’t get banished.

Uh, I thought given my m- my vocal slip-ups constantly that for sure I was gonna get banished at some point. But I was quite impressed with my, my ability to, like, persuade people and argue my case, like, really logically at the round table and bring people who weren’t- Mm-hmm … on side, on side. I think there was p- few people I convinced when they were dead set it was me, and by the end of my- Mm-hmm

two minutes talking about why it wouldn’t be me, 

Zach Elwood: they were like- Yeah, create that reasonable doubt. 

Zack Davies: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, I did study law so- Right. 

Zach Elwood: All you need, all you need is to convince a few people- Yeah, yeah … that like, “Oh, let’s not vote for him.” 

Zack Davies: Yeah. And, um, yeah, I think of proudest moments, um- I don’t, I, I, I don’t know entirely.

I think, I think just being put in the situation and not, you know, having to be in a straitjacket afterwards is probably pro- proud proud enough in itself. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Well, yeah. Paul, the Paul thing was interesting ’cause it was like the, the basic fact that like what are the chances a very popular influential person would be kept around by the traitors is just such, by itself even, is just such a, uh, seems like a major clue, right?

Zack Davies: Oh, yeah. I think, yeah, I think actually if, if I do talk about, um, one line I’m particularly proud for, it was I think I said to Paul, um, I can’t actually remember if it did air, but I said to Paul, “Why do you think you’re here?” And I think that just got everyone thinking, “Oh.” Uh- 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, yeah … wh- 

Zack Davies: why, 

Zach Elwood: why- I think, I think that did make it.

Yeah. Something like that anyway, 

Zack Davies: yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I think his answer was, “I don’t know why I’m here.” And I think unfortunately that’s not a good enough answer. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, yeah. No, 

Zack Davies: very interesting. Yeah. So one thing that I am proud of is, is realizing that Diane was someone’s mum straight away. And, and I, I’ve been cut out of the, uh, the kind of story and narrative behind, uh, but Ross is.

He’s my son. Uh, that whole, that whole thing happened because I mentioned to Andrew that I thought Diane was related to Paul. Um, but I clearly cottoned onto the idea- But why, 

Zach Elwood: why did you, uh, why did you think that it… Was it, was it them specifically or did you think Diane was- 

Zack Davies: So I, I, I thought Diane was-

someone’s mum? … certainly someone’s mum. I was, I was- 

Zach Elwood: Why did you think that? 

Zack Davies: I just thought the way she was. I, I, I really got it wrong with Diane, ’cause I thought Diane had been brought along as someone’s mum. Uh, but then I didn’t realize that after getting to know Diane and getting to know Ross, um, that Ross is really laid back, doesn’t really care about the show, was just coming ’cause it’s a bit of a laugh.

Whereas Diane is like really, uh, exciting. She’s like really energetic, really out there, really outgoing. Um, she’s like a, she’s like a Jack Russell I guess. Um, and, and then I was like, “Oh wow, no, she was the person that came on and brought her son.” And I think if I realized that earlier I might have narrowed it down to, um, Ross rather than Paul.

But- But I was just, I was just certain- So, uh- … that something was slightly not right there with, with Diane. 

Zach Elwood: But why, I, I gotta ask like, ’cause y- I remember when we were watching it, uh, you said Yeah, you said, uh, I think, I think, uh, Diane’s someone’s mom, and, uh, my partner and I were like, “Why, why did he say that?

What, what, uh, w- did you, can you elucidate the reasons there?” Yeah, well, they, 

Zack Davies: they always, they always try and do, like, a twist of, like, these people know each other or, um- Oh, okay … 

Zach Elwood: so 

Zack Davies: I was like, they did, they did a boyfriend and girlfriend last time. Um- Oh … what could be the possible avenues? And I was thinking siblings, and I was thinking, you know, could these people be related?

Uh, Brian and Ross look a bit similar. Maybe they’re related or something. Um, and then I was thinking, actually, Paul and Diane are both ginger, and she’s not a natural ginger. Um, and they have some similar facial features. But then I didn’t realize- Hmm … when you take off Ross’s glasses, his eyes are exactly the same as Diane’s, 

Zach Elwood: so.

That’s a good, uh, that was a, that was an impressive deduction that that might be going on. I was like, “Where did that come from?” 

Zack Davies: But yeah- Yeah, people- That’s, that’s, that’s interesting … people thought that, like, uh, Kyra and Jasmine were related, and that is just, like, intensely racist. So- Hmm. Yeah … they’re just assuming, “Oh, there’s two Black people.

I bet they’re brother and, they’re, they’re sisters.” Um, and I was- Yeah, not 

Zach Elwood: a great, uh, not a great read … 

Zack Davies: and then I was thinking maybe Sonia could be someone’s mom ’cause she’s got, like, really motherly energy. Um, I, I, I- Hmm … I couldn’t figure out, and then I was like, “Diane. Hmm, something’s not right there.”

Then I’ve aired it, and, and since that, I’ve been completely cut from the narrative, and the only thing that, the only thing that cares is, uh, that anyone cares about is Diane going, “But Ross is,” which is ultimately an unbelievable bit of TV, but something I helped, uh, manufacture. So- 

Zach Elwood: No, that, that was- 

Zack Davies: I would like to get my- 

Zach Elwood: That was impressive

jeans, please. That, that was impressive, honestly. I was like, “How did he, what’s going on with that?” Yeah, so that was, that was a good bit of, uh, suspicion there, yeah. Um, yeah, anything else you’d care to share before we, uh, cut this out, cut it off? 

Zack Davies: Uh, yeah, just, just to take any opportunities to plug my podcast again.

Uh, if y- if you do love learning about history and watching two idiots bumble their way through what’s happened in the past over a few beers, then please do check out the Pint-Sized History podcast. Um, you can find us on all platforms, all social media, everything like that. Um- 

Zach Elwood: Yep … 

Zack Davies: so yeah. Thank you very much.

Zach Elwood: followed you on, uh, Instagram. I was watching some clips on Instagram. I recommend it. 

Zack Davies: Thank you very much. 

Zach Elwood: Okay. Thanks.

That was a talk with Zack Davies, who was on the second season of the British production of The Traitors. 

This has been the People Who Read People podcast with me, Zach Elwood, and you can learn more about it at behavior-podcast.com. If you want to learn about my work on poker tells, that’s at readingpokertells.com.

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Investigative tips from top OSINT expert Craig Silverman

How do digital/open-source investigators uncover hidden truths and expose lies? World-renowned digital sleuth Craig Silverman shares some important lessons he’s learned from years spent exposing scammers, fake-news operators, fraud networks, and online deception. We discuss: the techniques investigators use to track anonymous people through seemingly insignificant clues; why stepping away from a case can be more productive than obsessively chasing leads; and how confirmation bias can derail even experienced investigators. Craig recounts the story of how he identified the anonymous creator behind the influential fake-news site True Pundit, along with other investigations that uncovered sophisticated fraud schemes that made millions of dollars. We also explore the modern explosion of misinformation, fake authority, and AI-generated deception, and why investigative skills are becoming an increasingly valuable skill—not just for journalists, but for anyone trying to make sense of today’s confusing information landscape. 

Episode links:

Resources related to or mentioned in this talk:

TRANSCRIPT

(transcripts are generated automatically and will contain errors)

Craig Silverman: “the thing that ended up cracking it, and I actually, I really remember this, like, I had been at… It wasn’t just a couple days. I had been at it, and I felt like I was hitting dead ends…I think it was a Saturday afternoon… and I was just like, ‘I need to go back as far as I can.’… I realized that his old Twitter username was a hockey-related one… Hockey Intel. and then I started looking. I noticed that he was talking up this player from a small, regional team. I wondered if he might be related to that player. And I remember the moment. I simply googled the dad’s name. The first thing that came up was him being arrested by the FBI for selling pirated hockey tapes…I’m like, ‘Oh my God. We’ve got a guy who has a grudge against the FBI.’

Zachary Elwood: That was from my talk with the renowned, award-winning digital investigator Craig Silverman. Craig was talking about a case that he and I had both worked on separately back in the day: the case of True Pundit. There was a guy who was anonymously running a website and social media accounts under the name True Pundit, and he was spreading obviously false information and fake news under the guise of it being legitimate “intel” from secret sources. Much of his content had a political nature; much of it was aimed at making Democratic politicians like Hillary Clinton look bad. One of his fake news stories was about Hillary Clinton wearing an earpiece feeding her things to say during the presidential debate. Another one was about Chinese hackers getting access to Hillary Clinton’s servers. Some of his content was aimed at making the FBI and other law enforcement outfits look bad; for one example, one story was about there being some law enforcement coverup about the truth behind the Las Vegas mass shooting. He put out a lot of stories like this. It’s my opinion that True Pundit significantly influenced voting in the 2016 election with his fake news and lies. These stories got a lot of traction and were shared widely by prominent and influential Republican and pro-Trump figures, including Trump, Trump’s sons, Michael Flynn, the actor James Woods, just a lot of people in that world.

So the fact that True Pundit was spreading obviously false and malicious lies upset me, and I got interested in finding his identity and outing him, and I spent several weeks on it. This included setting up a website to show the details of my investigation publicly, and to try to get tips from the public. Craig Silverman, who then worked for Buzzfeed, started working on that same topic, and he beat me to the punch; he discovered True Pundit’s identity, publishing it in a Buzzfeed article titled Notorious Pro-Trump Misinformation Site True Pundit Is Run By An Ex-Journalist With A Grudge Against The FBI. And he was nice enough to mention the work I’d done on the case and give me a shout-out for my work. 

So in this talk with Craig, we talk about the True Pundit case and our approaches to it, and what we found, and we use that case as a way to talk about investigative concepts and strategies in general. And we talk about the importance of investigative work in our digital world where lies and fraud are increasingly rampant, and it’s become harder and harder for us regular citizens to separate truth from fiction. 

I think you’ll probably really like this talk; I think it might just be one of the best episodes of my podcast. And if you like what I’m doing with this podcast, subscribe to it and tell your friends, and go check out past episodes at my site behavior-podcast.com. I appreciate it!

A little bit about Craig from his site www.craigsilverman.ca

He’s an award-winning journalist and author and one of the world’s leading experts on online disinformation, fake news, and digital investigations.

He is the cofounder of Indicator, a newsletter and website dedicated to exposing digital deception and to equipping professionals with knowledge and skills to help them investigate it. Learn more and sign up for free at Indicator.media.

Prior to Indicator, he was a national reporter for ProPublica covering voting, platforms, disinformation, and online manipulation. Craig previously served as media editor of BuzzFeed News, where he pioneered coverage of digital disinformation and media manipulation.

Craig trains journalists all over the world in digital investigative, Open source investigations, and debunking techniques. He served as the lead instructor for the Global Investigative Journalism Network’s Digital Threats training program and teaches a digital investigations course at Toronto Metropolitan University.

He’s the author of the 2009 book “Regret the Error: How Media Mistakes Pollute the Press and Imperil Free Speech.”

A lot more to say about Craig, as he has a highly impressive track record, but those details will maybe help you understand why he’s worth listening to… okay here’s the talk with Craig Silverman.

Zach Elwood: Hi, Craig. Thanks for joining me 

Craig Silverman: Hey, thanks for having me. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, big honor. I’ve followed your, as you know, I’ve followed your work for quite a long time, and, uh, it’s a big honor to talk to you. Been a fan for a while. Uh, so maybe we could start with when you got into, uh, journalism, uh, did you know that you wanted to delve into the hardcore, uh, online investigative work or investigative work in general?

Or was that something that you grew into and got more interested in later? 

Craig Silverman: When I first got interested and thought about studying journalism, ’cause I, I went the traditional route. I, I did a journalism degree at a, uh, university in Canada, studied journalism. Uh, and my dream, I think, was, was to be a New Yorker correspondent, like so many people, uh, you know?

Yeah. I- That’s true … what drew me first was writing, you know? Uh, uh, of the things that I got encouragement of in school, I t- honest- sometimes would s- be told by y- by teachers, “Oh, you know, your writing is, is good.” Um, and so of course, when you get positive reinforcement, you tend to lean into those things.

And so for me, going to journalism school, I, I hoped to become a roving long form journalist doing amazing, you know, uh, nonfiction, maybe literary journalism. And, uh, and I still in some ways, you know, I s- admire people who do that and s- wish I was good enough writer to sort of do that. But the thing that kind of sort of changed for me was, um…

So like, I started, I’ll just date myself completely, I started university in 1995, the fall of 1995, and so I had been- That’s when I started. It was? Okay. Yeah. S- so I had been… Had you been on the internet or the web before you got to university? 

Zach Elwood: I mean, very v- vaguely, but I learned about the internet mostly when I went to college.

Yeah, that was, yeah. 

Craig Silverman: Yeah. And that was my experience too, where I, you know, I had a, like a communications technology class in high school where one student came in one day with a computer that had a modem and used the phone line and dialed up and showed us this thing of the internet and Usenet and this kind of stuff.

I don’t even know if we went on the web. I think we looked at Usenet, and we were all, and he’s like, “You know, there’s these chat groups of everything you could imagine.” We were like, “Oh, look up sex,” you know? And it’s like he’s like, “Yeah, there’s tons of those.” And so that was, that was the first time I understood there was something called the internet.

And then I go to university in the fall, and I get an email address for the first time, and I have basically unlimited access to the web. And, um, and so I was like, “This is, like this is really cool.” Uh, and so I, I sort of got into it. And I think for me there was kind of a penny drop moment where I was in a class, and I think it was like commentary and opinion writing, where we had an assignment where you had to write, I think it was like an obituary for a historical figure, uh, during class.

And it was just like, “Do the best you can. Go by memory. Use whatever research resources you can here in the lab,” and stuff like that. And so, um, so I, I like, I think I picked Muhammad Ali, and I went, and I went to the computer lab and I researched. And I wrote it, and I wrote it on deadline, and I handed it in, and the teacher ended up reading it out to the whole class and was basically like, “How did you know all this information about Muhammad Ali?”

And I was like, “What do you mean? I just, like, I went and I looked it up.” Uh, and I was the only person who did that in the class. 

Zach Elwood: You were ahead of the curve, yeah. 

Craig Silverman: So, so, you know, and that’s why it’s the penny dropped on me, because I was like, “Oh, this is an advantage. If I get good at this, this is an advantage.

People aren’t into this.” And so I really dove, uh, uh, headfirst into it, just trying to, like, understand it, and I, you know, I would use it in my assignments, uh, you know, emailing people, as, to get interviews and things like that. And so I just, like, for me, I think that was the starting point, and it was like, “Oh, I can find stuff other people haven’t found.

I can have an advantage.” And I just leaned into that and ended up doing a lot of, like, reporting on technology and this kind of stuff, and I think that’s where I started to maybe shift a little bit. But I, I never really said to myself, “Oh, I’m gonna be an investigative journalist.” And even, you know, f- even today, like, sure, I say I work on investigations, but, like, I’m just quite happy to say I’m a reporter in a lot of ways, ’cause I think that’s, that’s good enough, you know?

Zach Elwood: Well, that explains why you’re so good at it. You have, you had such a head start on us. You, you got a, you got an earlier start. Um, yeah, so, um, yeah, I mean, I’ve, I’ve learned a lot from you. I mean, the first time I learned of your work was doing that True Pundit investigation and, uh, you know, for the audience, it was this pretty prolific and, I think, influential fake news guy, domestic fake news creator who was anonymous and I think he, in my opinion, I think he, uh, theoretically, you know, sh- uh, played a role in, in shifting the, uh, 2016 election.

You know, that’s obviously not… You can’t prove those things, but he had done- Right … a story about, like, they, that got, that made the rounds about, like, Hillary Clinton wearing a, a, a earpiece during the debate and these kinds of things. Yeah. But, but anyway, yeah, the, the, the way… I, I was working on trying to identify him for several weeks, if not months.

I can’t recall now. But… And you had contacted me saying, like, “I’m starting to work on this.” And then I think it was only, like, a few days later you had cracked the case and identified him, and that was… A- and the way you did it, uh, you know, when you wrote your, your BuzzFeed article, it was very educational to me in, in how you did it, and I wrote my learnings about it.

But one of the learnings that stood out to me was the importance of, uh, looking at the earliest activity online of a, a deceptive person, uh, because usually that’s when they’re least careful. And, uh, so basically going back to the, to the roots, and it kinda reminded me of the, the Silence of the Lambs point where, um, uh, Hannibal Lecter was telling Clarice, you know, “We have to, uh, basically look at what somebody is coveting first,” basically saying you gotta look back- Hmm

at what the earliest activity was for that, for that serial killer to find clues about their identity. Uh, so- Right … that, that was a big learning, uh, point for me because I had looked at some of the same stuff you did, but I didn’t spend enough time really delving into that early stuff, and I think your, your instinct with your knowledge, you were just like, “Oh, let me head straight to that earliest stuff,” or at least that’s what I, I gathered.

But I’m, I’m curious if I’m, I’m getting that right about the importance of that, that early activity. 

Craig Silverman: Yeah, I mean, that is, that is… It, it’s always a key thing. When you’ve got somebody with an online persona and they’ve got one or multiple accounts- Um, you know, you obviously, like you wanna look, number one is not just the earliest stuff, but just like can you look at as much of their stuff as possible?

So like he tweeted a lot, right? He was very active on Twitter. That was where he got his engagement. That was where he really drove people. Um, and so it’s like just read a ton of what this guy’s doing. Read the articles, read the tweets, familiarize yourself. That’s always a big part of it. But then it’s also absolutely, you know, the point about people are less careful.

Sometimes people don’t know where they’re going yet early on with an account, and then they s- then, then it clicks, and then they sort of like suddenly maybe they clean up some stuff, but they forget to clean up other things. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Craig Silverman: And it’s true not just with social media accounts, but I mean, this is a classic dynamic with domain names as well is like sometimes somebody buys a domain name, and they don’t pay for privacy right away ’cause they don’t actually know what they’re gonna use it for, and they don’t really care.

They don’t wanna pay the extra few bucks, and then two years later, they’re like, “Oh yeah, I have this domain. I could use it to do this scam site.” And now they’re gonna pay for privacy, right? 

Zach Elwood: Right. 

Craig Silverman: Um, but the records are there if you can go back and look at them. And I mean, number one, like you’re not giving yourself enough credit ’cause you had done a lot of great research about this guy, and like for people who…

‘Cause, ’cause I mean, the good news is that because of my article and your work leading up to that, his, he kinda fell off from there. Like, you’re right, he was influential. When we’re talking from, like, the 2016 timeframe to 2018 when my article comes out, this guy was, he had paid people on, I think it was Patreon, paying to support his site.

I believe he had ads on his site. He was, he was coming up. He would just make up crazy articles. Yeah. But he framed them in a way that it seemed credible, because he knew how to write them in a journalistic way that they read like real journalism. Yeah. So he would cite, you know, three, three FBI and law enforcement sources say, and so it was written very professionally, but the claim was bonkers and false, you know?

The claim that Hillary Clinton’s wearing a headpiece. Um, you know, the claim, one of his bigger ones was, I think, you know, the, um, that China, China had been the one that actually had hacked the Clinton campaign. I think he was claiming that, or he had claimed that China had hacked her email server. I forget, it was one of the two.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Craig Silverman: And, you know, stuff that there was no evidence for, but it was salacious and it, it went against the prevailing evidence and narrative, but appealed to the MAGA base. Um- Yeah … and, and so he really knew how to, like, he knew how to meet that moment, and he had been able to conceal his identity. He said he’s a, he’s somebody who was a, you know, former journalist, longtime journalist, somebody who had worked in intelligence.

He claimed that he had, I think, one, at least one former FBI person working with him. So he put together a very compelling narrative for the pro-Trump world. Um, and this was, you know, a time when you could put this stuff out there and kinda get away with it, and he was, he was making money from it, clearly.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and, uh, and so, um, so yeah, like you had, you had sort of dug in first on him, and you had gathered a lot. You had looked at a lot of his tweets, a lot of his content, a lot of the elements, um, of it, and, you know, had noted some of the things. I think you had noted, for example, that he seemed interested in hockey.

Um, you know, I think you had found stuff that ended up being really, really i- important for me. And yes, I mean, when it, for me, the thing that ended up cracking it, and I actually, I really remember this, like, I had been at… It wasn’t just a couple days. I had been at it, and I felt like I was hitting dead ends.

Hmm. Um, and this is like, and this is something you 100% happens in investigations. I mean, the idea that you start it and everything falls into place, no, you have moments of deep frustration, right? And for you, like, you were super frustrated, I guess- Yeah … when we got in touch at that point, right? 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

I was, yeah 

Craig Silverman: Uh, yeah. And, uh, and so I– And then I remember I had set it aside, and then I think it was a Saturday afternoon, ’cause I kind of remember being on my couch. Um, and, like, on a Saturday afternoon, and my kids were somewhere or whatever, and I just, you know, and I was just like, “I need to, I need to go back as far as I can.”

And so the thing that sort of did it was on Twitter, if you change… You can have an account, and you can change the username, right? And so if you start with this username and, and you’re talking to people, and they’re replying to you, and then later on you change your username, those old replies are gonna still be there even though you’ve changed your username, and they will show as a reply to your current new username, @truepundit whatever, but they will also show your old username as being part of that thread.

And so I think the thing that really hammered it was, um, I went back and I realized that his, his old Twitter username, um, was, like, a hockey-related one. I think it was called, like, hockey- It was hockeyintel Hockey Intel, right. He loved Intel anything, right? That was the thing about this guy. He 

Zach Elwood: also loved hockey.

That was why he was arrested by the FBI for selling, uh- … you know, copyrighted, uh, hockey DVDs. This, this is a- Uh, yeah … we could go down all sorts of rabbit holes, but cont- carry on. Yeah. 

Craig Silverman: Yeah, I know. I mean, and, and that was… You know, and so anyway, I saw that, you know, he was having arguments with people about hockey, and so you would see in the replies, it was replying to @thomas1774payne, which was his current Twitter ID, but then included in there would be @hockeyintel.

And so then it was like, okay, I gotta find every conversation with @hockeyintel, because this was his thing before, and to the exact to the point you raised, like he’s not being careful at this point. Sure, he’s may not have his real name on it, but he’s like just a hockey dude. And so there was that, and I ended up finding a conversation when he was arguing about, um, a young player in a sort of marginal US hockey league.

Um, and it appeared to be a burner account that was jumping in to sort of talk up this one young player, obscure player, and Hockey Intel was about this player, and this one called @dig_dirt was about this player. And at the end of the day, I then decided to look up this player, ’cause I’m like, what if, what if they’re like related to this player?

What if, what if this account is like, you know him, or what if this player is him, or it’s, you know, a relative or his son? And at the end of the day, um, you know, uh, they kept run- mentioning this player, and so I looked up this player, and then I started looking, and basically through his name, the player, I figured out who his dad was, because the player was too young, I thought, to be True Pundit.

Um, and then his dad’s name came up, and I remember the moment. I just simply googled the dad’s name, and I googled the dad’s name, and I think the thing that first came up was him being arrested by the FBI for selling pirated hockey tapes. And I’m like, oh my God, we’ve got a guy who has a grudge against the FBI.

Yeah, 

Zach Elwood: exactly. 

Craig Silverman: Which was the theme of True Pundit, right? 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Yeah. No, that’s great. Yeah, there, there were so many interesting things in that case, like yeah, the grudge against the FBI, which made his motive for all this stuff make sense because so many of his fake news pieces were about like FBI or other law enforcement agencies doing bad things, and that seemed to be one of his main, uh, his main motives there.

Yeah. Yeah, so so many interesting things about that case. Well, it’s interesting to hear that you didn’t go straight for the… I, I, I kind of imagine you just being like cracking the case immediately. So it’s, you know- … at least it’s nice to know that you struggle with it a little bit too. But, um, do other cases come to mind where, um, somebody’s early behavior like that, uh, early online actions gave you major clues to, to cracking the case?

Craig Silverman: I think there’s been a lot of times where people’s early activity online definitely helped, and sometimes it’s a very small thing. Sometimes it might be that, uh… So, like, one of the fundamental approaches when you’ve got the account of the person you’re interested in, they have a username. And so in his case, it was whatever, Thomas1774Payne.

You know, you wanna do a username search and find every account online that has t- @Thomas1774Payne because sometimes it’s, like, a, a, a username that really means a lot to the person, and they might have used it on many accounts and many platforms over the years. And even though they’ve been careful and they never uploaded a photo of themself on any of the recent ones, if you find, you know, the chess.com account they created eight years ago, maybe it actually has a photo of them.

And so there are absolutely times when, you know, by doing this sort of username pivot of let me find all of the accounts with this username, let me see if any of these align with this person I’m looking at Sometimes you get the thing like, “Oh, great, I have a photo of them. Oh, I have a date of birth,” or, “Oh, I have a location, and now I can do my searches and throw this location in.”

Mm. Um, and then that starts to kind of unlock it a little bit. Or yes, looking at their, their early things. Um, or sometimes it’s like when you get their email address, popping that into a domain name registration search field and seeing all the websites that have been registered by that addre- that email address.

And so, you know, a lot of times it, it is the early, finding the pivot point that you can go back in time on somebody. So it might be just one social account where you look at all of their earliest tweets, all their earliest messages, but it also sometimes is, well, I have a username, I have an email address, I have a phone number.

Let me find everything I can about the digital footprint of this asset. And that usually, hopefully takes you back in time and can kind of reveal some interesting things. Like with, with True Pundit, I mean, it was just like as soon as the guy’s name went in, you know, there was the FBI thing, but it was also that one of the clues that you had captured about him is he had tweeted at one point a photo of a pretty prestigious US journalism award, a Loeb Award, um, which is like, like the top award in US journalism for business reporting kind of.

He was dribbling out these clues and he felt protected. He didn’t show his name on the award, but he showed the award. Right. And so we knew whoever was True Pundit, unless he bought this award or stole that photo from somebody, he’s a guy who probably won this award at some point. And so once I had that name of the guy’s dad and the FBI thing, I could just go on the Loeb Awards website and lo and behold, yep, a guy with that exact name had won a Loeb Award in the right timeframe.

And, and, you know, once you get that one piece, like that was just, that was the key that unlocked everything. Everything that he had ever said about himself made sense. Every claim that he had made- 

Zach Elwood: Right. 

Craig Silverman: Just- … that was true, everything fit like 100% perfectly. And so the, the going back in time piece and the figuring out that footprint, like yeah, the better, uh, I try to get as good at that as possible and try to be patient with it.

And also when I hit a roadblock, taking like, not coming back to it for at least 24 hours or 48 hours Because that is, the fresh eyes is so, so key. Yeah. You will try something you never thought to try before, and now it will seem obvious, but you didn’t think of it the three other times you were working on it.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, that was another thing I wanted to ask you about is, you know, that was my, with my quite amateur investigative work back then, one of my other major learnings was the need to try to just collect my thoughts, because what I was doing was I was just focusing on, like, “Oh, gotta work on this, gotta work on this, gotta be productive.”

But I think- … you know, what I, what I really needed to do was just take some time and just sit back and, like, let it all coalesce in my head a little bit, and I didn’t- Hmm … really do that enough. I was just like, “Gotta do this, gotta do this,” but I, I sh- you know, to, to your point, it’s like, I think it’s, for any project probably, but especially one with where you have a lot of leads and a lot of data and a lot of information, it’s like you need to sit back and just be like, “Where’s the most productive place I can spend my efforts,” right?

But I’m curious if you have any thoughts on that. 

Craig Silverman: Yeah, I mean, it’s the proverbial rabbit hole thing, right? Where y- you know, where one, you just sort of, you find something and you, so you just go har- at it really hard and realize you’ve just wasted an hour. Or the other is just, also there’s so many tools and so many techniques and things out there that people just kind of spin their wheels of, like, trying a whole bunch of things, and, and that ends up, like, not being productive.

And, and it really can harm you in kind of the sort of your motivation and your mental state for the investigation, because you look back and you realize, “I just spent two hours and none of this is useful,” and then you’re just depressed, right? You’re like, “I will never get those two hours back.” And so I, I think the element of, uh, you know, and I, I’m not certainly perg- perfect at this, but the element of really figuring out, like, well, okay, what is the key question or what are the few key questions that I need to, I need to try to answer or that I need to use to direct my work?

Because it is really easy to just find something that seems kind of cool and interesting and follow it and waste a bunch of time, and you realize it actually was not core to my question. And this is actually where the sort of non-journalistic approach to investigative work comes in by people who are rooted in the kind of intelligence cycle, uh, people who work in intelligence work.

There’s an intelligence cycle of, you know, gathering and analyzing and producing and all, like, and it’s an established kind of framework. But one of the key parts of it is that you have to set out the, the key sort of questions that you, that your intelle- that is guiding your intelligence collection and analysis.

And so you set your north stars very early on, and you try to sort of keep those as a way to make sure that you’re actually able to, uh, stay on it and stay on task. Um, because- It is so tempting, especially if you know a lot of different techniques, you have access to a lot of tools, to just kinda like fiddle around for an hour and not actually make a lot of progress.

Uh, and I think it’s something that people struggle with a lot, for sure. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, I mean, that was what led to my kind of burnout on that project specifically, and I think, you know, a big part of that is, um, a d- I- I’d imagine a big part of the skill in these areas is knowing, like, where, what is likely to bear fruit.

So you’re like, “I’m gonna spend X amount of time on this area- Mm-hmm … that I think is most likely to bear fruit. I’m gonna spend X amount of time on this area next.” I think that, that seems to me where, where a lot of the, the skill would come in, is having, having that sense of what’s worked in the past and where, where are the most productive area to work on.

Uh, would I be right on that? 

Craig Silverman: Yeah, I think so, and I think, like, there are some people who get really nerdy about this, and they will actually make flowcharts of, okay, if you are investigating a person, or if you, you know, if you have an email address, here’s, here’s the step flowchart. You know, did you try this?

Did you try this? Um, you know, to actually create a sort of framework and a methodology so that you’re checking all the right boxes and not sort of going astray. And it, it is the kind of thing where the more investigations you do, certainly about s- you know, specific types of things over and over again, you realize what’s worked, what’s borne fruit, and you tend to start with those things, as opposed to, like, trying others.

But you know, one of the sort of arguments against that in some ways is also that one of the, one of the truths of this work in the digital realm is that there’s usually more than one way to get the answer. Um, and, like, if we take the True Pundit case, it ended up being, you know, sort of unlocked by his, his early username.

But I’m sure there are other ways to have figured out his identity as well. I’m sure that is not the only way. There’s something to be said for having a sort of, a bit of a structured methodology and knowing the steps you wanna take, and really, you know, not being haphazard about it. But you also wanna guard against believing there is only one path to take, and there is only one way to go through stuff.

Mm. Because 100%, and I mean, like, when I’m teaching or giving workshops, I often try to pick examples where there’s more than one way to get the answer, because I wanna communicate that to people. I want them to understand that, um, the thing that worked before isn’t necessarily gonna work this time. But if you try a bunch of different stuff, um, and you know a few different approaches, one of those may bear fruit.

And so it’s, it’s also a way, I think, to sort of keep hope alive in that, “Oh, I tried these three things, and none of them worked.” But it’s like you shouldn’t just give up, uh, instantly, you know? Th- there’s probably another way to find the answer. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Another thing that stood out for the True Pundit case was, uh, language usage.

Like, uh, so- He, he liked to use, like, ass-related, uh, expressions, like ass clowns and ass hats and stuff, and so- … you know, w- it ended up not playing a role ’cause, you know, you deduce it in other ways, but it was clear from that, uh, the other account that he was using that was replying to his own account, the, uh, the, uh, Dig Dirt, uh, account- Right

he would also use the same exact kind of language. Even though he was, like, trying to be deceptive and act like he was two different people, he was still using very, uh, very similar language. Yeah, also when he would quote from inte- his intel sources, his fake intel sources giving quotes about his stories, you could sense- It stood out to me, like, his quotes, when you, when you put them side by side, they all had a, a, a very similar phrasing and, you know, a- across these different stories, so that was kinda interesting, too.

You could probably do some sort of- Mm-hmm … some sort of objective analysis on that. Uh, and then, then also that recent, uh, you know, Bitcoin Satoshi examination and, uh, I think it was the- Right … New York Times was examining the language usage, too. But I’m curious- Mm-hmm … has the, the language analysis played a big role in, in some of your investigations?

Craig Silverman: Language analysis, 100%. Like, one of the, one of the things, uh, that I sort of try to follow and teach around sort of account and online activity analysis is, is the what’s called the ABC framework, which is actor, behavior, content. And so, like, when you have a c- an account or a website or whatever in front of you, it’s the actor.

So, like, who do they say runs this? Is, is this a company? Um, you know, if it’s a social media profile, what’s their profile photo? What do they say, you know, what do they claim about themselves? And then, you know, behavior is obviously, like, well, who are they interacting with? What are they retweeting? You know, are they retweeting more than posting?

That kind of stuff. And then obviously the C in that is content, where, um, you know, patterns of language is, is absolutely a thing. And you know, the example you cite with True Pundit, um, there was another investigation that came to mind right away where there was this, um, this think tank in, in DC. Um, it was, uh, the Institute for Critical Infrastructure or something like that.

Somehow I ended up just getting interested in them, and, you know, because I had been tagged in a tweet talking to their, their sort of lead analyst, their top guy, Mr. Cyber himself sort of thing. And I noticed that all of a sudden this innocuous tweet from him on this thread that I got put in just got tons of engagement, and I was like, “That doesn’t make any sense.

Like, who’s engaging with this?” And I started looking at the accounts engaging with it, and I was like, “Oh my God, these look like fake accounts to me.” Long story short on that is I started looking into this guy because it seemed to me that all of his tweets and all the tweets from his institute were being inauthentically amplified.

And so then I was like, well, why would somebody who is literally throwing an annual gala where there are, are senior cyber security executives from the FBI, the NSA, and these other major instit- like, why would he be doing that? And it turned out, like- Some 

Zach Elwood: sort of test. You know, you know, like, is he testing us?

Craig Silverman: Okay, so that was actually the explanation he gave later. He said, and to try and explain it away, he was like, “Oh,” you know, one, it was sort of like, “Oh, it’s, you know,” uh, ’cause he, he literally wrote, like, an e-book on information warfare and, you know, deception and manipulation. And he said initially, he’s like, “Oh, we think it’s actors in China who are doing this to discredit us, and we think, you know, it’s a test or whatever.”

Um, but at the end of the day, like, I… Similar to the TruePundit guy, he had gone through many accounts and many iterations in his life and his career. He was kind of a f- a, a scammer and a fraudster. Mm. And, uh, and so, but he absolutely had telltale phrases that he had been using across different identities, different accounts.

Some very unique phrasing that he would use. And then, for example, on his YouTube videos, he was also using fake comments to pump him up, and some of those fake accounts were using some of the exact same phrases. And one of the things that I, uh, often say about those kinds of indicators is, like, that’s a great clue.

That means you should be looking more. But that in and of itself, like, you couldn’t hang a whole investigation on just, like, well, the phrase is being reused, right? Like, that’s not a strong enough evidence because It just, it could be a, a remarkable coincidence, but coincidence has happened. But it is the kind of indicator that is like, “Hey, this is a light, and you should 100% dig more because you have found this.”

So like it’s a weak indicator, but it is still an indicator. And then if you can build from that and lay- layer in a whole bunch of other stuff like records and other connections- Right … then, then when you’re actually, like, telling the story, those linguistic ticks, once you’ve buttressed it by everything else, are super fun and super compelling for people to read.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Craig Silverman: Um, but it’s, it’s one of these scenarios where, like, the content indicators are typically not super strong because- Mm-hmm … it’s very easy to copy other people’s content. Right. It’s very easy to generate it with AI. And so, like, you can’t, you can’t put too much emphasis on it, but I also at the same time, like, I would never dismiss it because that could be, like, the proverbial tip of the iceberg.

It’s like, “Oh, these seem to be separate accounts, but they’re all saying either variations of the same thing or, you know, all engaging in the same type of content or activity.” Um, that to me is like this sign of, “Oh, I should dig more,” but I also have to, I have to keep that in its correct frame of analysis that this is not conclusive, but it’s a nice indicator.

Zach Elwood: Right. To your point, it’s like, you know, if I was creating, uh, deceptive content, uh, I mean, one thing I would consider is, like, inserting, uh, language that somebody else I wanna frame might use for that. You know, like, it’s… It would be very easy to throw people off the scent using that, right? So it’s like one of the more easily, you know, content’s one of the more easily controlled things, so you always have to be aware that, you know, they could be throwing you off the scent in various ways, so.

Craig Silverman: Absolutely. Yeah, that’s it. And, and so it’s one of those things, and this is like, this to me is sort of one of the fun but challenging elements of this kind of work is, um, is being able to recognize a signal, recognize an indicator, um, and know what that looks like. But then you also, like, you have to sort of put yourself on a leash a little bit and, and look at it and be like, “Yeah-” That’s, that’s interesting, that’s helpful, but it’s just content.

It could be copied, it could be this, it could be that. And so it’s sort of like controlling your mind a little bit, which is something you’re very into, right? Of like not letting yourself get too carried away, having the thinking process that’s enabling you to identify this stuff, but then to also engage the other part of your brain to not let yourself get so carried away of like, “Oh, I found it.

I nailed it.” Right? 

Zach Elwood: Right. 

Craig Silverman: And that element of control, that element of discipline is at the core of this. Um, like all the tools, all the techniques, if you can’t interpret it properly, and if you allow yourself to like over, you know, uh, sort of overvalue things, then it doesn’t matter what tools and techniques you know, you’re screwed because your analysis at the end of the day is gonna be wrong.

You don’t know how to weigh things properly. 

Zach Elwood: What comes to mind for that is with the True Pundit case, there were, there were several coincidences in there that made me think, “Oh, I’ve cracked the case.” And I imagine this must hap- happen for any data intensive, um, investigation or, or it can be common be- because for example, there was one specific thing where it was a very strange coincidence where a True Pundit had done something, I can’t remember what it was, it was something major he had done with his accounts.

But then, like- Mm … on the same, like basically almost the same day or maybe it was the same week, somebody else had started another hockey intel, uh, account. But I thought- Right … I was like, “Oh, this must, this must be the people, like who’s u- who are using this new account and he’s trying to throw me off by talking about something else completely different or something.”

But, and then I start- Right … I started investigating these people who had created this account, it was like a father and son. And I was like, “Oh, I’ve cracked the case. Like, this is too big a coincidence.” But it was a coincidence- Right … that some people had just registered that account around the same time as I was investigating it.

Uh- Mm … so, but it, it’s an int- interesting, and I think you had mentioned something about like being willing to see that you can be, uh, taken down these various… And then you start having confirmation bias, you know, sort of like I was looking at- 

Craig Silverman: Yeah … 

Zach Elwood: the Zodiac, um, what’s his name? The, the guy who wrote the Zodiac book, and they made the, the movie out, out of it.

I can’t remember his name. Gray- Right … Gray something. Gray Smith maybe. But, um- Mm … he, he’s known, he was known for like basically fabricating, uh, some of these things in his book about the Zodiac that were not- Yes … true and, and it was like he just had like a tunnel vision for his, his view of the case, right?

Which, which I imagine- Mm-hmm … anybody, uh, you know, leaving aside the, the fabricating of, and making up stories part of it, I imagine it’s very easy to have this tunnel vision if you start thinking like, “Oh, I’m so su- sure it’s these people now,” you know? 

Craig Silverman: Yeah. Yeah, I just need to do this to flush them out, and then, you know, this lie will help me get to the truth or, uh, yeah.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And, uh, and I mean, that, that tunnel vision element, I mean, it’s something, uh, you have to guard against. And, and it’s funny because this is something that… And so when people get into journalism, they usually are getting into it with like very well-meaning motivations. Um, like, it, it might be just like, “I love telling stories,” or, “I wanna hold powerful account- people accountable.

I wanna, you know, illuminate the world.” Like, lots of great motivation. And so, you know, it’s, it’s very rare that you have a malicious acting journalist, and some people may find that hard to believe, but like that is absolutely the truth. And, and, you know, before I was sort of doing this work, I spent 10 years writing a blog that actually was the only blog in the world regularly cataloging mistakes, errors, fabricators, plagiarists.

Like, I, I- Right … I spent- Which led to your book. Your- Which led to a book on this topic. And so, so I literally spent about 10 years of understanding like why mistakes are being made in journalism, when are the, when are there malicious actors, when is it unintentional? And the vast majority of the time it’s unintentional, which doesn’t mean it’s, it’s good.

Like- Right … it doesn’t excuse it. It’s bias. You’re not supposed to be making mistakes. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And, and so the reason mistakes get made, like the number one reason is just like process of you’re moving fast, you d- you missed it, whatever. But there are absolutely times when somebody has decided what the story is- And then they pursue it and, you know, the evidence that comes along that might, you know, knock them off of that or refute something, they just don’t fully process it, and they don’t understand that they’re not fully processing it.

And that to me is, like, the really scary thing, is that you can get to a point where you trick yourself into this. And you can have good evidence and good things in front of you, but you will dismiss them because your mind is absolutely in the frame of, “I’ve already understood and know what the deal is here.”

And so, and then if you can get other people involved, like your editor, to follow the same way, and copy editors, if everybody falls in the same track of mind, it doesn’t matter how many people read the same story, they’re all gonna miss the holes in it because they’ve all come to believe something. And so, you know, that is, that is sort of the, one of the dangers and risks in journalism, and that’s, that’s where you have to have this, like, mental humility and understand that you could make mistakes any time, you could let yourself be led astray, and it’s really about the mental game.

It’s, you know, investigative work and journalism, all this, it is a mental game at the end of it, and either you make an effort to think about your thinking and to c- try to be aware of it and control for the elements of bias that inevitably come, um, or, or it’s gonna come for you. And again, you don’t have to be a malicious actor.

You don’t have to be trying to do bad. Bad things can happen to well-meaning people all the time 

Zach Elwood: Do you have a certain case or, or a couple cases that, that come to mind for one of your, uh, some of your favorite projects, cases that you worked on in the last few years? 

Craig Silverman: So one of the ones that I always look back on fondly, for some reason, I don’t know exactly why, um, but it, it goes back, it goes back several years.

Um, and uh, so this was a, a case… I’m, I’m really- I’ve done a lot of reporting on digital advertising, which in and of itself doesn’t sound like a super interesting topic, except, um, one of the things about digital advertising, you know, the banner ads you see, the ads that show up on your apps, there is an insane amount of fraud going on in digital advertising, and there has been for a very long time.

And I didn’t realize this until really about 2017 when I started reporting on it. And so um, I did a story where… And one of the reasons that this stands out to me is that the guys that I was able to expose were really quite ingenious. Um, and so let me describe the scheme that they did and then how it sort of, uh, got revealed, which is, so there are these guys, they had a good amount of expertise in online marketing, digital marketing, digital ads, um, but also in, in, on the much more technical side of like servers and, um, you know, browsers and browser agents and all this stuff.

And so what they started doing was they would find, um, a game on the Android platform, so like, you know, on your, in the Google Play Store, that was doing pretty well. Um, a game that had like hundreds of thousands or a few million users, was profitable for the person who had created it. And they would, through a third party, approach the person who owned that game and say, “Hey, we, we love your game.

We’d like to buy it.” And they would offer them a very nice price for it. Like, not outrageous, but a really kind of a number that any person looking at that saying, “Yeah, I c- I, I don’t think I could turn this down.” Um, and so they acquired dozens of games this way. And what they would do is once they had the game, they would, um, use their technical skills to basically, you know, look at the audience and see, oh, okay, it’s, you know, 60% in the US, it’s 40% here, it’s, well, you know, whatever.

Um, most people are playing the game, and they spend three minutes on average, and they play between these hours of the day, and here are the spike times and that. So they would map out the entire real user behavior, and then they programmed bots to mimic it. And so they were basically able to turn a dial.

And initially, it’s like, okay, let’s increase the audience by, by melding in the bots. Let’s increase the audience this month by 5%. Then let’s do the next month by 3%. And so over time, they could artificially just grow their audience in a s- way that seemed organic but was all just these camouflaged bots.

And so they, they ended up having a network of dozens of games and apps with manufactured bot audiences that were getting paid real money. Because of course, the whole point here is that you create the bot, it plays the game, and ads are shown to the bot, and you earn money from the ads. And they had partnerships with all the major ad platforms, including Google.

Um, and so there was a, uh, a sort of, you know, a, a digital firm that looks at ad stuff, and they had found, um, one like 1%, one piece of this thing, and they went to me as like at the time one of the only reporters looking into this stuff, and they said, “Hey, we think there’s more here. You should look into it.”

And so at the end of the day, through a mixture of, um, like all of these games, they have to have company names listed on them. They have to have contact emails. They have to have their own websites and privacy policies. And so across dozens and dozens of games, I collected email addresses, company names, privacy policy text, website domains, all of these assets, ran sort of searches and things on all of them, and was able then to realize, like, oh, this one email address is connected to 50 different domain names, which are connected to all of these apps.

And, and so I literally, I drew these like conspiracy-looking maps by hand of all of these connections, and I was able to actually show all of these games coming back to a few different entities. And then I was able to get corporate records for the key entity in all of this, where I was able to see the beneficiary owners of that, it was these four guys, and through that, unlock the whole scheme.

Mm. And at that point, uh, I was able to then go to like Google and other places and say like, “Take a look at what’s going on here.” And at the end of the day, Google ended up having to refund $10 million to advertisers- Wow … who had had their, their money, uh, their ads fraudulently viewed. And so for me it was like, it was in some ways a very technical story, but at the end of the day, it was gathering all of these, you know, these assets to find the connections.

So the digital assets of domain names and email addresses and phone numbers and company names. And it was a mixture of digital stuff, and it was a mixture of, you know, really more traditional investigative work of just like, who owns this? 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Craig Silverman: Um, you know, and I reached out to people who’d sold their games and who’d you sell it to?

And this, and so it was a lot of like piecing it together with traditional journalism, with some of the invest- digital investigative techniques. And I think that’s why I think of it fondly is because it married a whole bunch of, you know, different techniques together, and at the end of the day, like they got caught.

Mm-hmm. And there was a, you know, and some people got credits from Google. Mm. And some good came of it even though I would 100% bet that these guys are still at it to this day in a different way. 

Zach Elwood: Well, I was gonna say, it seems like, I mean, I, I’ve read these stories about like the Spotify thing where somebody, you know, was driving organic-looking fake traffic and making apparently lots of, you know, millions of dollars for that.

He got caught. But it does seem to me like if you design that scam well enough, like you… Like these guys got away for, with it for a while. I mean, it does seem like- The unfortunate thing is it, it seems like if you design the, the scam well enough, it’s really, really hard to g-get that caught, right? Am, am I right on that?

Craig Silverman: Yes. I mean, I think it is a tremendous moment for scams and scammers. They are- Yeah … they are, you know, they have just a global opportunity and global markets in front of them. Uh, and, and also, I mean, right now in this moment where so many of these major platforms, whether it’s Spotify and others in music, whether it’s like Meta with Facebook and Instagram, or all these different platforms, they are really just trying to infuse AI in, into everything.

And the amount of sort of like safety oversight and all of that is just trailing far behind it because there’s this arms race to show who’s got the best AI products. And so they are incentivizing people to create huge amounts of like deceptive content. They are incentivi- They are, in some cases, like paying people directly for the engagement with the content they’re producing, whether it’s on YouTube or on Facebook.

And so the opportunity to monetize deception has never been greater. Um, and the opportunity to monetize deceptive content or, you know, whether it’s audio or video, has never been greater. Because, I mean, if you think about it, like 20 years ago or 30 years ago, I mean, you had like The National Enquirer at the checkout and…

But it was really hard to like monetize fake and false and made-up stuff. It just, it wasn’t a great business in media. And today, I mean, you could be somebody churning out deceptive content, whether it’s like the, you know, uh, AI-generated music on Spotify pretending to be a real artist, whether it’s, you know, producing AI slop on YouTube or other places.

Um, you know, I’ve done stories about AI influencers on Instagram where like the grift on that is you generate lots of AI content of an extremely attractive young woman, you create an Instagram profile for her, you have her, you know, posting not nude content, but like right up against the line of what Instagram will allow.

And then you have a link to a platform like Fanvue, where you can then monetize that attention by getting people to pay to view the nudes of this fake woman. Mm-hmm. Um, and so there are so many different grifts and hustles around this kind of stuff today. And, you know, the, the oversight of it and the platform enforcement on it is, is really trailing behind, and partly because these platforms, again, are trying to make money and incentivize AI in and of itself.

So they don’t really have an incentive to sort of come in and say like, “No, no more AI content,” or things like that. 

Zach Elwood: I probably won’t word this very well ’cause I’m trying to like wrap up a bunch of ideas, but, um- There does just seem to be… I mean, there’s just so much bullshit around us these days. Like, I’m kind of…

I mean, I thought I was kind of immune to it, but like- And it’s not, you know, a- and it’s hard to talk about too, ’cause it’s not like… I, I wanna be clear too, ’cause it’s like I’ve been very disappointed in mainstream journalism too for some of the reasons we mentioned, like the bias, you know, thing, which I think is made worse by toxic polarization.

You know, people become more- Right … clickbait in their thinkings, only share certain sides of the story sometimes. So, uh, you know, I wanna preface it with that. But I, I’m just like, the internet, these, these various people that are various independent media creators, you know, like Diary of a CEO, Joe Rogan. I mean, even some of these people- Mm-hmm

that are looked on, like I think Diary of a SO- CEO is looked at as, as somewhat legitimate because he does interview- Yeah … like really well-known and, uh, respected people, th- legitimate people. But then, like, he mixes in- Mm-hmm … these complete bullshit con artists, like some of the most egregious con artists I’ve ever seen, like this guy Chase Hughes, who I’ve, you know, investigated and, and exposed on my podcast.

And I, I would think- Right … you know, so just to say i- a- and, and the fact that he’s a serious show lends credibility- Mm-hmm … to these various scammers that he also interviews and s- and helps promote, and gives them a following of, you know, millions of followers. So just to say- Yes … I think we’re surrounded by that stuff these days.

The internet, uh, you know, has positives and negatives obviously, but like it does seem to lead to this difficulty of separating fact from fiction. It gives a lot of strengths to people that are just straight up con artists and liars, helps them find audiences. It, it creates incentives- Yeah … for people like Diary of a CEO and Joe Rogan to interview people that they might even know are scammers, but they just want the attention because for exciting topics.

So it just creates this range of, uh, you know… And then I also think it amplifies polarization and those kinds of dynamics which also incentivize, you know, more emotion-based and, uh, you know, uh, polarized content, and all these kinds of things. Mm-hmm. So, uh, but I’m just curious. Yeah. It’s not even a question, but I’m just curious, how do you view- Yeah

the, the, the current state of the, the bullshit and the, the fake news around us, uh, this, this whole ecosystem these days? 

Craig Silverman: Well, I typically give very long answers. I mean, the short answer is it’s very bad. You know? It’s, we’re n- we’re not, we’re not in a good place right now. And I think, like, what you’re talking about gets to a core element of it’s very hard for people to know how to sort of judge authority and credibility and quality these days.

Uh, because as you say, uh, someone, Diary of a CEO, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, has tons of credible people on it, and then you’re 100% … You’ll have a total quack, a total ridiculous fraud on it. But that person comes on, and they, they accrue all of the credibility built up of everyone else who has been on there.

And it’s incredibly easy to manufacture sort of social proof and credibility in this environment in a, in a fraudulent way. Y- you can, you know, you can do engagement bait to build up a following base, but you could also just buy followers. You can buy engagement. Um, you can purchase credentials that seem good enough.

You can create an entire AI persona that some people can’t really tell the difference of. And, um, and it’s not like I’m lamenting that, oh, mainstream media has lost its authority, ’cause I never really worked in mainstream media. Um, and I think that there is, y- you know, on balance, having more voices and more openness and not being restricted to a few big media companies and who they decide to hire and platform, like I

That is, that is a good thing to have a more open environment. But what we have to understand is that when you have a more open environment, the ability for manipulation and the ability to, to really create authority when it isn’t there is vastly, vastly, not only, like, increased and improved, but it is, it is incredibly easy to obtain.

Uh, and it is, it is trivial to make yourself seem credible in this environment. And it is also, you know, one of the hacks is to obviously just talk about how you’re not mainstream media and how, you know, you’re i- totally independent and you’re not in control of big pharma or this or that. And to be totally anti-institutionalist on it is, you know, is the ironic kind of way is the new institutions are individuals built out of being anti-institutionalists.

Right. And they accrue some of the kind of trust that used to be reserved for institutions. Um, and so it’s, it’s a very chaotic and difficult environment, I think, for just the average person to navigate and to understand and be able to process and think about, like, where to apply their trust and how to assess credibility.

Um, and as long as these sort of, you know, platforms that in some ways are the arbiters of these credibility signals of, like, pre- you know, preventing people from having fake engagement, preventing people from, you know, not labeling AI content, which they say they’re going to do. As long as they’re not gonna follow, enforce their own rules, it becomes very easy for people to confuse other folks.

Uh, and so that’s sort of where we sit now, is the ability and facility To fake credibility signals and build that up, um, the hostility towards institutions and sort of mainstream sources of credibility, and then the platforms being unwilling to really make huge investments to enforce their rules at a significant scale creates a massive opportunity for mass deception.

Uh, and you know, and, and I don’t know that there’s gonna be a moment that sort of starts tilting it in the other direction. We’re gonna have to figure out how to operate in these very new low trust environments in, you know, speaking in the Western democratic societies where typically we had levels of institutional trust, typically we had some confidence in those things, and today it’s, it’s falling, it’s falling, it’s falling, and it’s moving more to individuals, and there are lots of individuals who are exploiting that in ways that, uh, really are not good for society.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, I tend to think that we have to, as a species, we- it’s like we have to adjust to technologies and start treating them maturely, and I kinda feel like we haven’t even begun to like deal with the repercussions, uh, internally, you know, our own responses to this new environment. I feel like we haven’t even begun- Yeah

really to… We, or we’ve only just begun to kind of like adjust to the technology in some way, but I don’t know if you, if you agree with 

Craig Silverman: that. I mean, e- evolution is a slow process. Yeah. And I, you know, the smartphone came out in like 2007. The idea, we think about young people as being smartphone native. I, I mean, they’re dealing with the same sort of brains that we have, and it takes time to evolve, and I, so I absolutely agree that we are still struggling to catch up with the things ironically that we have created and built.

Right. Um, and humans are still, we still haven’t really figured out how to navigate this environment in a way. Our brains are still have remnants of like hunter-gatherer culture and societies in them of how we process information, interact with other people. You know, it’s demonizing other groups and creating an other is still a very powerful strategy because, you know, there was a time in human societies that the other was really, really dangerous.

The unknown was really dangerous, and the only way to stay alive was with your tribe and your group- Mm-hmm … and to hold that close. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Craig Silverman: And so, um, so yeah, I think it’s gonna be a long process to really come to grips with and be able to navigate and, and operate in this environment in a way where, you know, broadly people are really, you know, able to sort of feel confidence and, and do it in a way that’s, that’s helpful and productive to them.

Zach Elwood: Well, uh, this has been great, Craig. I, I feel like I could talk to you forever. I, I’d love to just sit and listen to all your, uh, investigative stories and cases. Uh, do you have anything else you want to share about how people can stay in touch with you? 

Craig Silverman: Yeah. Um, so look, I, uh, I, I quit my full-time job in a newsroom a year ago, and I started an independent publication.

So I guess now I can sort of take advantage of that anti-institutionalist bend out there and say, like, “I am a fully independent, tiny outlet.” Um, so it’s, it’s called Indicator. You can… Uh, we have a free newsletter. You can go to indicator.media and sign up. Uh, and every Friday we’ll give you kind of a roundup of what’s going on in the world of digital deception, as well as some tools and tips.

Um, and then if you are somebody interested in sort of sharpening your investigative skills, that’s sort of what we offer as a, a paid membership, is access to a lot of guides and tutorials and tools. Um, and uh, I’m, I’m more active, I guess, on LinkedIn than other platforms these days, so people can find me there as well.

Zach Elwood: Great. And getting back to that point about, you know, a j- part of our societal or species adjustment to the, the modern digital environment is, is more of us doing our own work on various fronts to understand the world or the people around us. So it’s like you’re… The work that you’re doing at Indicator, I mean, I’ve talked to people recently where they were like, “Oh, I’ve used various investigative, uh, tools for my own personal life,” like vetting somebody-

you know, I was dating that I had a suspicion about or something, you know, these kinds of, these kinds of things. So I think the things you’re doing are, uh, are sharing, the tips you’re sharing are, are useful not just for investigators, not just for journalists, but for people trying to make sense of the world, being like, “I think this guy’s a con artist.

How can I, you know, do a little bit of research on him?” Or whatever it may be, right? So yeah, I, I wanted to throw that in there. 

Craig Silverman: Yeah, appreciate it. I agree. I think there’s, like, a certain skill level and IQ level for basic kind of internet knowledge and, and fake busting and stuff like that, that if everybody in society had, we, we’d be in a much better scenario.

And so that is something that, you know, I encourage people to, yeah. Y- anybody can be an investigator. Yeah. That is one of the beautiful things of this moment in this time, is there’s a lot available to you, and if you don’t consider yourself as one professionally, bringing some investigative skills and elements into your life and how you do your work and how you interact with content and information is kind of necessary these days.

So I, I agree. I think it’s, I think we should have an expansive view of these skills being applied in people’s lives.

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Cards Against Humanity co-creator David Pinsof’s theories on status-seeking, humor, and more

What if much of human behavior—from everyday interactions to wider political and cultural dynamics—is driven by hidden “status games” we’re all playing without realizing it? In this talk with Cards Against Humanity co-creator and evolutionary psychologist David Pinsof, we explore his provocative idea that status-seeking is a fundamental human motive—but one wrapped in a paradox: we all want status, yet seeking it too openly makes us lose it, forcing us to pursue it in subtle, strategic, and often unconscious ways. We also talk about another interesting idea of David’s on the nature of humor: it’s possible that David may have solved the long-standing mystery of what humor is and why we laugh. Along the way, we talk about our capacity for self-deception, how his ideas might relate to mental illness and cult leaders, the nature of charisma, the Cards Against Humanity origin story, the Gazzaniga split-brain experiments, and more. 

A transcript is farther down below.

Episode links:

Resources mentioned in or related to this talk:

TRANSCRIPT

(transcripts are auto-generated and will contain errors)

David Pinsof: “Humans are of course, hyper social and highly dependent on other humans for cooperation. So it, it seems to, it seemed to me that status was this huge underlying motivation in human psychology, this huge elephant in the room. And then to see that, wait a second, it’s this huge motivation, and yet we can’t talk about it. We can’t be overt about it. ’cause if we, if we are overt and we do come off as a status seeker, or we reveal to other people that we’re trying to seek status, we lose the very status that we seek. And I just became thinking about, I just got really ensnared with that problem and just thinking about what are the implications of, of this idea that we are a status obsessed species that cannot admit that it is status obsessed, right?”

“In working on Cards Against Humanity and in developing content for the game and working on copywriting for the game, uh, I developed this writing style. This voice, you know, Cards Against Humanity sort of has a voice. If you, if you, uh, read any of our, our stunts or our emails or our, any of our ads, like it all has a pretty clear voice that it’s like a blunt, cynical, smart ass character. Uh, and it’s really terse and it doesn’t mince words. And, uh, it’s just kind of really direct into the point and kind of edgy. Um. And I thought it would be interesting to try to just write in that style on topics that interested me as a psychologist. And it just so happens that I, I had been interested in a lot of topics that had pretty cynical implications.”

Those were a couple clips from my talk with David Pinsof, the co-creator of the game Cards Against Humanity, who is also an evolutionary psychologist with some very interesting and I think profound theories about status-seeking, group tribalism, self-deception, and the nature of humor.

I think you’ll find this a highly interesting episode if any of the following are true for you: you’ve played and enjoyed Cards Against Humanity; you’ve wondered about how much of our behavior and actions may be secretly motivated by seeking status and power; you’ve wondered about the mystery of humor – why we call some things funny, and why we emit strange sounds from our mouths when we find things “funny”. 

Regarding the humor topic: I think it’s possible that David Pinsof has solved the ages-old mystery of the nature of humor. And as someone who read Freud’s Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious at a young age, and who has long puzzled at the nature of humor, this alone makes Pinsof’s work very intriguing to me. But the truth is David has some deep and intriguing ideas on a wide range of topics; things that’ll make you think deeply about the nature of the world and other people and yourself. 

I’ll say that I only learned of David’s work recently. Alan Crawley, who studies nonverbal behavior and who I interviewed for this podcast, recently told me about Pinsof, saying that he thought Pinsof was doing some very impressive work and would be making some big impacts in psychology. I was surprised I hadn’t heard of Pinsof, as he works on so many things I find interesting, including Cards Against Humanity, which I was an early player of. Back in 2014, related to my poker tells work, I wrote a blog post on my readingpokertells.com blog about behavioral clues in Cards Against Humanity and similar games, like Apples to Apples. 

If you have listened to this podcast before, you know I also work on political polarization-related topics, and David’s ideas on status-seeking have implications for group polarization. He and his colleagues wrote a paper titled Strange Bedfellows: The Alliance Theory of Political Belief Systems, which had some great ideas about the hidden motivations behind tribalism and us-vs-them conflict. This is just to emphasize that I was surprised I hadn’t heard of David, as he’s doing some fascinating work. 

A little more about David: 

He is an evolutionary social scientist at UCLA, from which he has a phd. He has researched political attitudes, status hierarchies, and social signaling. He is one of the co-creators of the popular party game Cards Against Humanity and director of The Pulse of the Nation public opinion poll. He explores the psychology of bullshit on his blog, Everything Is Bullshit. 

Many people balk at David’s ideas on the hidden social status games we play; how we try to hide these status games from other people and also from ourselves. Many people, for understandable reasons, don’t like the idea that we may be much more driven by status seeking than we know. This relates to discomfort about similar ideas that say that we have less awareness of our motivations than we know; that can include a wide range of psychological theories all the way to the idea that we lack free will. So in this talk we get into the pushback people can have, and why it makes people uncomfortable, and we also talk about why these ideas are not nearly as cynical and dark and pessimistic as people believe; we talk about how they can fit into more positive or at least neutral and non-threatening ideas of human social dynamics. 

Here’s a personal observation that might be helpful as an introduction to these ideas. I like to think of myself as someone who likes figuring things out; as someone who likes understanding the world and the people in it. I would say, and like to think, that even if I were on a remote island, by myself, that I’d like figuring things out; that I’d devote myself to many of the same things I currently work on. But is that really true? If I was indeed banished to a secluded island, or a secluded planet, and I knew with certainty that I would never interact with anyone else, and that no one else would ever learn about anything I did, what would I really spend my time doing? How much of what I spend my time on, that I think are things that I do because I am interested in them, are actually things that I do because I want to impress other people and gain status in some way? Or when I do something nice for someone or donate to a charity, how much of that is because I genuinely care and how much of that is because I want to be seen as someone who cares? It’s possible such questions are impossible to answer because, and I agree with David on this, it’s impossible to separate our views of ourselves, our self-definition, from the perceptions that other people have of us; these things are intertwined because we are inherently such social creatures. From when we are babies, we grow to see ourselves through other people’s eyes – that is the nature of socialization and of becoming a quote “normal” person; so it would seem impossible to separate our views of ourselves from our views on how other people see us. 

Just a quick note that if you’re listening to this on audio, there is a video of this talk on youtube. Also, I’ll mention that my last episode of the People Who Read People podcast was available only on youtube; it was the most intense and time-consuming YouTube video production I’ve done, and I only put it on youtube as it was highly visual in nature; it’s about modern con artists and cult leaders and how they gain influence and followers in the modern digital age. It’s gotten almost 10,000 views at this point and has gotten a lot of positive comments, so you might like checking that out. And that actually relates to something David Pinsof has worked on; in this episode we talk about how his theories on status-seeking relate to people who are good at charming others, people who some would say have a lot of “charisma,” and this has implications for cult leader dynamics. 

We also talk about how these ideas tie into self-delusion and our inability to know ourselves and our motivations. For example, we talk about the fascinating Gazzanica experiments on people whose left and right brain hemispheres were severed and how they learned that people will make up reasons for the actions they’ve taken, ignorant of the real reasons for their actions.

And in this talk, we also get on the topic of mental illness and mental struggles. Because as I have personally experienced, realizing that you are surrounded by status games can be demoralizing and can have mental health implications. For example, in Catcher in the Rye, you could view Holden Caulfield’s constant focus on people’s “phoniness” as partly being his awareness that he was surrounded by people playing status games, as being selfish and non-authentic. And we can see how that perception played into his mental struggles. And I’ll say that I myself have had personal experience in that, in that I dropped out of my first college due to some mental struggles that related to seeing everyone as selfish and inauthentic and being stressed out by that. So we talk about that a bit towards the end. 

We also talk about Peter Turchin’s ideas that there is what he calls an “overproduction of elites”; basically a successful society produces many people who expect high status, and there aren’t enough high-status spots in society, and this leads to social destabilization as some of those people seek to undermine the system due to discontent and anger. This idea relates to non-conscious status-seeking and to political polarization.   

Okay here’s the talk with David Pinsof, co-creator of Cards Against Humanity and an evolutionary psychologist with some highly interesting ideas. 

Zach Elwood: Hi David. Thanks for joining me. 

David Pinsof: Yeah. Glad to be here. 

Zach Elwood: So maybe we could start with, um, how you came to work on, uh, cards Against Humanity, be part of that endeavor and also, uh. Engage in the, uh, academic psychology research. That seems kind of an interesting, uh, combination of things. Maybe you could talk a little bit about that backstory.

David Pinsof: Yeah, sure. So, uh, cards Against Humanity is kind of an unusual business in that, um, none of the business owners really expected it to become a business. So I just made that game with my friends in high school, uh, and we made it to play with ourselves for fun. And then, uh, we brought it with us to college, uh, and it sort of became viral as an underground thing.

People were printing out copies of it and cutting it out with scissors and paper. Um, and eventually, like it just started to dawn on us that like, this is. Really a thing like this could become a major business. This is becoming a phenomenon. We should try to capitalize on this. And so we, uh, were one of the first Kickstarter success stories.

So we put the game up on Kickstarter. We, we, uh, collected money to print out the game in like a nice box with nice cards so that people wouldn’t have to like, cut it out and print it. Um. So, uh, yeah, we, we raised a ton of money on Kickstarter and then, um, the rest is, as they say, history. It just became, uh, a successful business.

We were repeatedly selling out in the early years of the, of the game. Um, and then we eventually 

Zach Elwood: just, yeah, I was, I’ll say I was an early, I was an early, uh, my ex-wife and I were early buyers of Cards Against Humanity Right when it was coming out. Yeah. 

David Pinsof: Oh, cool. Yeah. You’re with us from the, from the start.

Yeah. So, uh, we just gradually got our shit together and, and realized that it was a business, but like none of us, we were all kind of, you know, under the expectation that this thing would collapse at any minute and it would become uncool very quickly. And we just continued to be surprised that it just continued to gain momentum and popularity.

Uh, and so, like I, at the time, like, I, I did not think that Cards Against Humanity would be my career and, and I would be able to make a, a livelihood with it. Uh, I was working toward my PhD at the time that cards like really started taking off, uh, financially. And so I had to choose like whether I, you know, should.

Work full-time at cards or keep pursuing my PhD. And what I ended up doing was just doing a combination of the two and sort of working, uh, part-time on both, uh, at the same time. Um, and I, and that’s sort of what I continue to do. Um, I, I still work part-time for cards doing stuff like data science and play testing.

Um, and so I’ve been able to use the skills that I’ve acquired in my PhD analyzing data for, um, uh, analyzing data with cards, um, and with understanding the statistics and the psychology of humor. So. That has been helpful and, and I still sort of have those two sides of myself in part because I wasn’t expecting cards to, to be a side of, of myself until it was too late and I was already kind of too deep into my PhD.

So, um, I am really glad that I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to continue to have those two sides of myself. Um, it’s been really fortunate for me because I haven’t had to deal with the bullshit in academia, for lack of a better term. I have a financial stream that allows me to do research on the topics that I find interesting without having to worry about, um, administrative stuff with universities, without having to worry about publishing or perishing and getting a certain number of publications.

I can just work on stuff that I inherently find interesting. Uh, I can Oh, that’s awesome. Yeah, so it’s, it’s been a really cool, um. Situation for me that, uh, you know, I’m, I’m really lucky and a lot of people don’t have that. So, yeah. 

Zach Elwood: No, that’s, uh, it’s, yeah. I have a lot of questions, uh, but I I, I’m curious, was there, is there a relationship between your interest in creating Cards against Humanity and your interest in psychology?

Do you see those two things as linked in some way? 

David Pinsof: Um, perhaps, uh, I, I did not intentionally or consciously link them, but, um, I’m sure that they arose from similar impulses within myself. I, I like understanding how people tick. Um, I like getting inside people’s heads. Um, I think being a good, uh, comedy writer, uh, necessarily involves getting inside people’s heads.

Uh, you sort of have to be a good psychologist to be a good humorist. Um, so. They were sort of inadvertently intertwined in that they sort of arose from similar sides of myself. Um, but beyond that, it was just kind of a lucky accident that they happened to collide, you know? Mm-hmm. 

Zach Elwood: Do you think, uh, would you have ended up writing, uh, working on the, uh, psychology of humor, you think?

If it wasn’t for the Cards Against Humanity part of things, 

David Pinsof: it certainly made it a more appealing topic for me. ’cause it was, um, an opportunity for me to combine the two sides of myself in an interesting way. Um, maybe I still would’ve come upon it naturally, I don’t know. But it certainly increased the likelihood that I, that I would discover that topic.

Mm-hmm. Um, and I think I, I’m, I’m pretty happy with, uh, the work that I’ve done on that topic if for a while. So I study evolutionary psychology. That’s, um, my, uh. Special interest. Uh, I am really gung-ho and enthusiastic about applying principles of evolutionary biology to human behavior, to understanding humans as animals, to understanding the mind as an evolved organ.

And I’ve been constantly perplexed by humor as an outgrowth of the evolutionary process. It, it’s Darwinian function always seemed really puzzling to me, and it was always something like in the back of my head that I had been wondering about. It was always like kind of a pebble in my shoe of like, I feel like I understand a lot of different aspects of the human condition really well when I apply Darwinian principles to understanding things.

But humor is just the last thing that I just, I don’t think we really have a good answer to it. And so it had been in the back of my mind for a while. And I just sort of gradually, uh, I, I, the, the solution to it came to me by accident when, when I was studying a different problem. So I’m, I’m really interested in coordination games and the game theory of coordination and common knowledge.

Uh, so common knowledge is this idea that everyone knows that everyone knows something and it’s really important for us to have common knowledge if we want to coordinate, if we want to show up at the same time and place, if we want to communicate such that we can agree on, which sounds coming out of my mouth, correspond to which things in the world.

Um. So I, I’ve been, I was really interested in that. I was looking at the game theory of coordination and it, and it occurred to me that, uh, when you have a mix up in a coordination game, say I say one word intending, one meaning, and you hear a different meaning, or we’re trying to pass each other in a hallway and we both go left, or we both go right, and we keep sort of dancing back and forth that these are mix ups in coordination games and they can be mathematically modeled quite precisely.

And that maybe that is the essence of what humor is. And so I started thinking about that as a potential solution to the Darwinian mystery of humor. And I realized that it’s actually a really elegant and profound solution to the problem of humor because coordination is our superpower as a species.

Language depends on us coordinating, you could think of language itself as just a massive coordination game where we’ve all agreed that these particular sounds correspond to these particular things. And we would be unable to communicate if we did not. Solve that coordination problem. And you can think about norms and conventions and social roles and leadership are all solving this problem of coordinating, of putting our heads together effectively so that we can work together and communicate and solve challenges cooperatively.

So, uh, given that we’re so good at coordinating and our survival as a species depends so much on coordination, it really is not mysterious at all that we would, that, that, um, coordinating would be a major selection pressure and avoiding mix ups in coordination games would be a huge selection pressure.

And so I started pursuing that idea. Now I have this academic paper that’s, that’s now pre-print, uh, exploring this idea as, as a solution to the evolutionary mystery of humor. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. And I, I, uh, I have to say, yeah, I read your. Your work on that. And, uh, I mean, I’ve been, I also have been interested in the psychology of humor for a long time.

Like I read Freud’s, uh, what is it called? The whatever, something of, of humor or comedy, whatever his book on comedy was a long time ago when I was a kid. And then since then I’ve thought about it, probably like you, but not in a as thorough way as you obviously have. And when I read your work on it, I really thought, I mean, it appealed to me so much.

I was like, this guy, I think you figured it out. Like I, it made, it makes so much sense to me. Just like when you laid it out, I was like, intuitively. I’m like, yeah, I think you are correctly. Right. And, you know, humor is, we’re, it’s showing that we’re signaling that we understand these mix up and of, and and, and it has a social, um, yeah, it has a social value.

A real social value. Yeah. I think it makes so much sense. 

David Pinsof: Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

David Pinsof: I’m glad to hear you say that. Yeah, so hopefully, hopefully it’ll get, uh, published on a nice journal soon. We’ll see. 

Zach Elwood: Are you getting a lot of, um, uh, positive feedback on that, the humor 

David Pinsof: so far? Yeah, no, people, I, I’ve, the reactions that I’ve mostly gotten from, uh, people and from fellow academics is it just, it makes a lot of intuitive sense.

Um, and, and it’s, it’s hard for anyone to have like a serious objection to it, just ’cause it fits the empirical facts of humor so well. So I’ve been really encouraged by that. Um, hopefully there’s, there’s not a math error or something in my analysis, but, uh, yeah, so far it’s, it’s been well received and, um, I have high hopes that it’ll be, uh, published in a good journal and hopefully make a major contribution to the field.

Zach Elwood: That’s awesome. Um, and one more Cards Against Humanity question. Sorry. Um, do you see, you know, and I realize some of this may be just me reading into looking for links between it, but, uh, cards Against Humanity has this kind of, you know, dark and edgy. Aspect to it, which I think you’re, uh, everything is bullshit, kind of status seeking examination also has an edgy, you know, kind of cynical aspect to it or, so it would seem to, to many.

Uh, do you see a link between kind of like a, your, your interest and, uh, delving into some, you know, darker, edgier parts of things? 

David Pinsof: Yeah, I definitely do see the link there. I think, you know, my, my blog is against humanity to a certain extent. It’s kind of, uh, misanthropic, uh, it’s, it’s pretty dark and cynical.

Um, uh, it, I think they both stem from the fact that I have a, a dark sense of humor that I enjoy playing with and cards against humanity, and I also enjoy writing about, and, you know, uh, a lot of my posts while very dark and cynical, often have jokes in them that people, uh, occasionally find funny. So yeah, it, those two are, are merged.

Um. Coincidentally, um, I actually sort of strove to tie them together, uh, because in working on Cards Against Humanity and in developing content for the game and working on copywriting for the game, uh, I developed this writing style. This voice, you know, cards Against Humanity sort of has a voice. If you, if you, uh, read any of our, our stunts or our emails or our, any of our ads, like it all has a pretty clear voice that it’s like a blunt, cynical, smart ass character.

Uh, and it’s really terse and it doesn’t mince words. And, uh, it’s just kind of really direct into the point and kind of edgy. Um. And I thought it would be interesting to try to just write in that style on topics that interested me as a psychologist. And it just so happens that I, I had been interested in a lot of topics that had pretty cynical implications.

You know, I’m an evolutionary psychologist. I like looking into our deeper motives that we’d be hap we’d perhaps not want to admit to, um, like, for example, social status. And I found that trying to marry those two sides of myself actually worked out really well. That, like, you know, writing about these topics in sort of the cards against humanity voice, um, it, it, it, it worked out and, and it allowed me to sort of be more open about the, the cynical implications in a way that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

So I feel like a lot of evolutionary psychologists, when they write about ideas from evolutionary psychology, they try to sort of tiptoe around the cynicism and apologize for it and put, you know, caveats around it and reassure people that this isn’t really as cynical as it seems. And, you know, there’s so much dancing around it and.

Personally, I got kind of frustrated with that. I thought that, you know, it really does have cynical implications and we should be honest about that. We should be forthright about it. Uh, and I, so part of the, the impetus for writing the blog was just to explore, you know, what it’s like if we just embrace the cynicism of these ideas and just see how far they go, see where it takes usintellectually.

Um, and it seems like, you know, there, there has been a demand for that kind of honesty. You know, you don’t really get that perspective a lot, uh, in think pieces in the media and it seemed like, seems like people are kinda hungry for it. So I’ve been really pleased by the, the response I’ve gotten, uh, in the blog.

Zach Elwood: Well, so related to your, you know, status seeking and status games work, it seems like maybe some people can be kind of afraid to be, um. That openly cynical, or at least seem that openly cynical. So they hedge it in various ways, whereas maybe you have, you know, you, you, you’re not as afraid to, to do that maybe, or maybe, you know, getting to the status seeking games.

Maybe there’s value in being, in, being that direct from a status seeking, uh, perspective. But, um, maybe that’s a 

David Pinsof: Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Good segue into the status, um, you, your, your elevator pitch on the status, uh, games ideas. 

David Pinsof: Sure. Um, it basically, this idea came to me when I was reading an empirical paper showing that people who are judged as status seekers lose status.

And that really fascinated me. Uh. That people who overtly try to seek status such that other, other people see them as a status seeker. They’re judged as mean, cruel, manipulative, disingenuous. They’re judged as assholes, basically assholes, douche bags. We have a variety of colorful terms to describe status seekers that elicit disgust, which suggests that we’re kind of grossed out by overt status, seeking it’s gross, and that.

Was really puzzling and profound to me as an evolutionary psychologist because my entire career studying evolutionary psychology, the idea had been drummed into me that status was hugely important to humans. That it was one of our central over, you know, under underlying motivations to so much of what we do, and that there was this huge link between status and reproductive success and ancestral environments.

You see these links in other animals. Humans are of course, hyper social and highly dependent on other humans for cooperation. So it, it seems to, it seemed to me that status was this huge underlying motivation in human psychology, this huge elephant in the room. And then to see that, wait a second, it’s this huge motivation, and yet we can’t talk about it.

We can’t be overt about it. ’cause if we, if we are overt and we do come off as a status seeker, or we reveal to other people that we’re trying to seek status, we lose the very status that we seek. And I just became thinking about, I just got really ensnared with that problem and just thinking about what are the implications of, of this idea that we are a status obsessed species that cannot admit that it is status obsessed, right?

What, what are the cultural implications of that? And so I just started just, you know, thinking about what follows from that idea. Well, one thing that follows from that idea is that when we all play a status game together, when we compete for status, we cannot become aware of the fact that we’re playing a status game.

Because once we become aware of that fact, then we all start to lose status. And the, and the social hierarchy almost starts to invert a little bit like those who won the most status. Well, they’re the most icky status seekers. And those who are at the bottom of the social ladder, well they were less, they were the least interested in status.

Uh, and so. The top of the hierarchy gets lowered and the bottom sort of gets lifted. And everyone who is involved in this IY v glorious pissing contest becomes gross. And everyone who is not involved in it, or who is distant from it, they begin to look cool and, and that the outsiders begin to gain status for not caring about status.

And so what that creates is a kind of cultural dynamism where status games can collapse and invert and then take the opposite form as as the form that was taken previously. So if we’re playing a status game, that’s all about making money and insulting poor people and, and, and encouraging ideas of social Darwinism, if we’re all, if we all realize that we’re playing that status game, that we’re all just, uh, puffed up, uh, greedy status seekers, and the social Darwinism idea is just a rationalization for us, preserving our privilege, if we all become aware of that fact, well the status game collapses and you get a kind of opposite status game that emerges.

Out of the ashes, like, well now we, we don’t care about money. Greed is icky, greed is bad. Uh, we, instead of being a social darwinists, we want to, we want to be in favor of social justice. And so the opposite status game sort of arises, uh, and, and replaces it. And I think we see a lot of this happening, you know, throughout history across cultures.

And I think it gives rise to a lot of the seemingly arbitrary variation in status games and status symbols that we see throughout cultures or across cultures. Because if status games are constantly collapsing and reemerging in antithetical forms, then it creates a, a, an engine of arbitrariness that can arise.

It’s a, um. It, it, it creates a, a kind of dynamism. So I, I saw it as a really cool explanation for why status symbols were so variable across time and space. I saw it as also providing insights into the nature of cynicism itself, cynicism and idealism. Because if you think about a status game as having the potential to collapse and invert, well, who wants that status game to collapse and invert, presumably the people who are not playing it, who have, who are less invested in it, the people who are at the bottom of the social hierarchy in that game, and those people have a, a vested interest in trying to make that status game collapse by exposing it.

As, as hollow, as vain, as narcissistic. And if they can succeed in casting the players as status seekers, then uh, as the game collapses, their status will rise. Right? And so it, it creates an incentive for a kind of strategic. Cynicism and also strategic idealism because if I’m really winning in this status game, I wanna make sure it doesn’t collapse.

’cause then I could lose all the status that I’ve accumulated. So I wanna make sure that I spread idealistic narratives about my pure hearted motivations and the pure hearted motivations of everyone who’s playing the status game. How none of us really care about status. We’re pursuing this higher noble end.

And this leads to the invention of what I call sacred values. That we’re not pursuing status, we’re pursuing higher ends, like, uh, authenticity or self-actualization or egalitarianism or, uh, uh, authority or diversity or tradition. These sort of high-minded ideals that we can all rally around and we can agree that that’s what we’re seeking and not status that protects our status game and keeps it from collapsing.

Zach Elwood: So I, I was curious, um, to get your take on, how much of this do you see as unconscious? Like do people in your view, you know, when people think that they have. Like something that they’re doing that they believe is highly righteous and morally pure. Do you see, you know, is there an aspect where they may not even be aware that they’re seeking status, but that is in, in many cases what they’re doing?

David Pinsof: Yes. I think for the most part it is unconscious. Um, and I think there are a number of reasons why it might be, for one thing, if we have a strong incentive to convince other people. Of a fact about ourselves, then we are likely to convince ourselves as a side effect. And so insofar as we are strongly motivated to convince other people that we’re motivated by high-minded ideals and not by status, we’re going to start to convince ourselves as a side effect, and, and that will involve a certain amount of self-deception.

Another idea is that I’m gonna be more convincing if I truly believe the stuff that I’m saying, right? If, if I have to hold the false information and the true information in my head at the same time, and I have to be aware of the fact that one’s true and one’s not, and, and keep them from being mixed together in my head, it’s actually really hard to lie.

But if I don’t have that problem, if, if I only have the lie in my head and I see it as the truth, I’m gonna be much more convincing and, and effective. And so this is the idea from Robert Trivers, um, the evolutionary biologist. His idea is that self-deception evolved, uh, as a way of more effectively deceiving others that we lie to ourselves to more effectively lie to others.

So that’s another part of this. Uh, and another part of it is that we may not really even need to know, or it’s, and, and it, and it’s possible that we, we can’t know our underlying motivation to a certain sense, and that there was no selection to truly delve to truly, um. Perceive our own deeper motivations.

’cause we don’t really need to know them. We need to know where the stuff is in the environment. We, we need to know where the tables and chairs are. We need to know where other people are and where the predators and prey are and what, what other people think of us. But we don’t really need to know our true underlying motivations, or we don’t really need to know what’s happening at the unconscious level.

And, and to a large extent, I don’t, I think we don’t know what’s hap what’s going on unconsciously in our heads. We are strangers to ourselves in, in, in relevant respects. Um, so I think that’s another big part of it is just we just, we don’t really know the answer to the question of what’s driving us. And that allows us to more fluidly and effortlessly make up a story about what’s motivating us and believe that story as if it were real.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I that I was gonna say that, um, that’s the, one of the parts I really liked about reading your work was, uh, talking about how it’s. Pretty much impossible to separate the thinking about what others think of us and trying to manage and manipulate that aspect. It’s, it’s very hard, if not impossible, to separate that from what we ourselves are thinking or our views of ourselves.

And I’ll, I’ll quote something you wrote in a recent essay. It said, humans have a filter in their heads screening out for botin impulses in nearly every waking moment. The what will people think filter practically everything we do passes through this filter, even when we’re in the pr, even when we’re in the privacy of our own homes or in an anonymous, uh, situation.

So I think that, I mean, I think that’s a really key point because I think a lot of people who would balk at these ideas, I think if they saw the point that from the moment, you know, our personalities ourselves were created at, at a young age. Everything we did was filtered through this filter of how other people saw us.

You know, we were going through various socialization processes, you know, where we learned to be embarrassed about various things. So like, it’s really hard to separate how we see ourselves from how others see us. And as you say, it may not even be possible to really do that because they’re so intertwined.

And I’m curious, am I getting that right? Am I explaining it right? 

David Pinsof: Yeah, you’re absolutely getting it right. So an idea I’ve been thinking about is that it’s probably much easier to deceive ourselves about the contents of our own minds or the, the motivations that are driving, guiding our behavior than it is to deceive ourselves about reality.

So if I’m trying to, so I have an apple in my hand and I’m, I’m holding it behind my back, if, if, let’s just assume for the sake of argument that that’s true, and I’m trying to convince you that there’s no apple behind my back. That’s gonna be really hard for me to do because I’m gonna feel the apple in my hand.

Right. But if I’m trying to convince you that I truly care about authenticity or equality or diversity or self-actualization or whatever, I have no equivalent of the apple in my hand. I have no direct access to the true reasons for my behavior. I have, I’m a stranger to myself. So in that sense, it’s gonna be much easier for me to convince you and, and to convince myself than it is for me to convince you of something that I have direct sensory access to.

’cause I have no sensory access into my true motivations. I’m gonna have a much easier time convincing myself of whatever story I come up with to explain my behavior. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Yeah. One, uh, when I was started reading your work because of the crossover, one example I started thinking of for myself is when I play, when I’ve played, uh, Kurd Against Humanity or other silly, you know, social games that are, that are fun, I sometimes find myself, you know, I, I know that there’s a drive in me.

To want to do well at the game, even though I know it’s very silly and it’s a very trivial thing, but there’s a part of me that’s like, well, I wanna do well in the game. I want to perceive to be doing well in the game. ’cause you know, for example, I’ve worked on games, I’ve written books about poker tell, so there’s a part of me that wants some sort of status, even for doing well in a silly game, like Cards Against Humanity.

There’s another part of me internally that’s like, what are you thinking? It’s just a stupid game. Like, take it easy. You know? Like, why are you, why are you trying to imp impress, you know, why do you wanna impress people about a silly game? You can’t, that you can’t really, you know, there’s always so much skill in it, obviously.

Uh, so I have this conflict in my brain. So that’s just to say like, that’s a conscious conflict. And then you have. Theoretically in, in your view, you have that kind of conscious conflict going all the way to more, like you’ve convinced yourself that it’s entirely altruistic or that it’s, uh, you know, there’s, there’s no, there’s no, uh, you have no motivation to seek status.

But I thought that was an interesting example that popped to mind for a very trivial aspect. 

David Pinsof: Yeah, no, totally. That’s an interesting example. Um, and even there you have the part of yourself that doesn’t want to be seen as a status seeker. 

Zach Elwood: Right. It’s part of yourself that doesn’t Yeah, it part’s perception.

It’s, it’s a big part of the perception. You’re like, and, and, and part of the getting back to like the difficulty of separating how others see us from how we see ourselves. It’s like, I don’t even like the part of myself that wants to seek the status for, for such a silly thing. You know, it’s kind of like this internal thing of like.

Why, you know, so just to say we, I, I, I very much liked your points about how we can be con conflicted and maybe not even see aspects of ourselves that are, that are seeking the status. Yeah. Yeah. 

David Pinsof: Cool. Yeah. No, I, I agree. Yeah. Do 

Zach Elwood: you have any, do you have any, uh, examples from, from your life that come to mind that you maybe you’ve written about in your blog that are granular examples, 

David Pinsof: uh, examples of people not wanting to be seen as a status seeker 

Zach Elwood: or you, you yourself in your, your own, uh, da daily life or examples from that?

David Pinsof: Um, yeah. I mean, I often, uh. Get a reaction from my blog posts where people will, uh, apply my cynical lessons to my writing itself. Um, they’ll say, well, is this essay just another bid to gain status? Um, and my answer to those replies is always the same. Yes, it’s, I don’t exempt myself from these processes. I, I wanna be intellectually consistent about my ideas.

Um, I think that it is all too easy for cynics to drift into a selective. Cynicism that exempts themselves from their cynical views. It is very easy for cynicism to drift into solecism where everyone else is a phony. Everyone else is in it for themselves or selfish, or status seeking or whatever. But me, I’m the authentic one.

I see the world how, how it truly is. I’m the only one who really cares about these high-minded things. A lot of cynicism is like that, and I really try hard to resist that urge as much, much as possible. I want to, uh, include myself in my explanations of the human condition because if I can explain myself as well as I can explain any other human, then that’s a really good sign that, that I’m onto something intellectually, that these explanations are powerful and they’re not just a, a self-serving strategy for gaining status.

I mean, they also are at the end of the day. Right. I gain status from having ideas that seem insightful to people and that seem to Yeah. Are smart ideas. Yeah. They’re smart ideas. Right. So I ultimately gain status for it. Um, but I al but I also, you know, uh, I, I gain status in so far as the ideas are right and people are aware of the fact that they’re right or that they’re, they’re revealing something important about the world.

So that’s ultimately, yeah. Ultimately what, what, what’s guiding me? Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: I mean, I think you would say to such accusations about, you know, I, I, ’cause I don’t see in your, in your view of things, I wouldn’t see such accusations as even, you know, as being insulting in any way, in any way. Because even if you, you know, even if you embrace that view, your view of, of things, it’s like clearly there are some ideas that are more correct than others.

Clearly there are some, uh, approaches that are less narcissistic than others. So it’s like, I, I, I think you would say that there’s a, there’s a, there’s a spectrum of accuracy and goodness even within the, the status seeking realm. 

David Pinsof: Yeah. Yeah. Some status games are better for the world than other status games.

It, it would be, uh, absurd if that wasn’t true in, in pursuing our ends of, of trying to gain prestige and admiration and esteem. It would be surprising if every attempt to do that had the same consequences on the world as any other. Like some status games are really good for the world, like the scientific method.

I think science is a status game. At the end of the day. Scientists are competing for prestige and notoriety just like anyone else. Uh, but it’s a, a status game that’s really good for the rest of us, right? They’re, they’re competing to generate important discoveries about how the world works, and we all benefit from that.

Um, so I, I think it’s, it’s good to, um. Be honest about which status games are good and which status games are bad. And the only way we can really evaluate which ones are good and which ones are bad, is if we admit to ourselves that they are status games. Right. That at the end of the day, these, these things are status motivated projects, which is uncomfortable for us to admit, but I think if we want to be clear about which ones are good and which ones are bad, we have to, you know, begin with the starting point of, of being clear-eyed about how these games work.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. Getting back to the, uh, to other, um, views of these ideas as cynical one SAU wrote talked about how, you know, a way to see these things as less cynical is that many of them are defensive in nature. Do you care? Talk about that a bit. 

David Pinsof: Sure. So, um. We have motivations to ascend a social hierarchy, to gain status, uh, even if it means stepping on other people.

And we have motivations to avoid a dissent to the bottom of a social hierarchy. We, we want to avoid losing status or looking bad. And I think if you reflect on your personal experience. It should be pretty clear that the motivation to avoid losing status and avoid falling in status is stronger, more intense, more urgent than the goal to gain status or to gain superlative status at, at other people’s expense, or to look superior or better in some way, which makes a lot of Darwinian sense because if you sort of map any of our goals, if you, if you, if you plot them on a graph, let’s say, and uh, the x axis is biological fitness and the y axis is any other goodie like, um, status, food, sex, whatever.

Almost always what you’re gonna get is a sharp drop off. It’s zero. Followed by an increase and a curve of diminishing returns, right? Um, if you have zero status, your genes are going nowhere, you’re not gonna get a mate, you’re gonna get excluded from the group. You’re dead, right? Um, as you start to get a bit more status and you start to get a bit more attention from the opposite sex and a bit more resources and social support, your fitness is gonna increase.

But at some point, like your fitness is the, the, the increases of additional status are gonna be smaller and smaller and smaller, right? Because of diminishing marginal returns. So, because increases in status, um, are less urgent from a Darwinian perspective than than decreases in status, we’re gonna be more attentive.

To the decreases. And that’s, this is true. I think in general of all of our motivations and emotions, the negative aspects of our, uh, uh, emotions, the negative aspects of our motivations are gonna just take a much stronger hold of us than the positive emotions. The fear that we feel is gonna be more intense and pervasive.

It’s gonna guide us, uh, more effectively than, say, happiness or joy or playfulness. Right? Like negative emotions are just more serious. They, they grab a hold of us much more strongly. This is a very well replicated finding in, in psychology, you know, bad is stronger, right? 

Zach Elwood: Excuse is loss or much more pertinent.

Yeah, 

David Pinsof: exactly. It’s called loss aversion. So, um, if you just apply that to status and to signaling, it becomes clear that probably most of our status seeking, most of our signaling is of the defensive kind, where we’re trying to avoid a loss in status more so than we’re trying to gain status at someone else’s expense or, or to look superior.

And once you start carving up our motivations in that way, it, it begins to, uh, be clear that. What we really don’t like is the offensive signalers, the offensive status seekers, the ones who are motivated to be superior to us and to look better than us, and to outdo us, outshine us, insult us, diss us, upstage us, whatever.

That that is the stuff that we really find icky and gross and defensive status seeking. And defensive signaling is really not as icky or gross. It’s more sympathetic. It’s more relatable. Um, and so what I began to realize is that when I was writing about status seeking and signaling, a lot of people would interpret me as saying that all of this is offensive.

And they would draw the wrong implication, which is that the world is just more full of assholes and narcissists than they thought. And so what I want say very clearly is that I’m not, I’m not saying that, um, there are roughly as many assholes and narcissists as you thought there were. Right. We’re usually pretty good at, at picking up on these things and other people.

And I’m not saying you’re wrong about that. What I’m saying is that, uh, as soon as you realize. That defensive signaling is probably playing the bulk of the role here in these status and signaling processes that you don’t, you no longer have to be extremely cynical to agree with me that status and signaling, you know, plays a huge role in human life.

You only have to be moderately cynical, and hopefully that will make my views an easier pill to swallow. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Getting to the, um, I mean, another way to see it as less cynical is that, you know, we’re, we’re talking about status, but you can also see, I mean, status is another way to achieve connection with people, right?

It’s like we, we seek status. I think, and correct me if you think differently, a big part of it is. Not just getting power over other people, but being able to influence people so that we can gain connection. And because we’re social creatures, you know, from an evolutionary Yeah. Especially from an evolutionary psychology, um, perspective.

And I am, I, am I getting that right? It’s talking about the connection aspect? 

David Pinsof: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think that’s another way to avoid being extremely cynical is, is to also understand that a lot of these motives are driven by connection, uh, getting along in addition to getting ahead. Um, and of course, I think status and connection are deeply intertwined in many different ways.

You are much more likely to achieve connection if you’re high status than if you’re a low status. And the more connections you have, the higher your status becomes, sort of by definition. So I think they’re, they’re deeply intertwined, but at the same time, um, connection is seen as less icky, less cynical.

And I think a lot of our motivations ultimately come down to that and reminding ourselves of that is also a way to avoid being too cynical about these things. 

Zach Elwood: You had, uh, you’ve written too about how, um, you know, uh, cult leaders, people, uh, people that we might call cult leaders, cult of personality types, they, uh, successful ones can have kind of a superpower as you put it, in terms of managing, um, exploiting or, or manipulating others or gaining status without other people.

Uh, understanding that they’re being manipulated, making other people see them as, uh, altruistic. And when I was reading that, I was thinking of, uh, Keith Rani, because I was just watching a long documentary, the Netflix documentary, multi-part documentary about him and thinking about how, you know, he made people think that his motives were altruistic and that he was not seeking status over them, even as he clearly was.

And I’m curious if, you know, if you could talk a little bit about how, uh. Am I, am I getting that right? That those people have, you see them as having a kind of superpower over people? 

David Pinsof: Yeah. So if we’re creatures that need to seek status without coming off as a status seeker, then by definition the people who achieve the highest status will be the, the people who are best at doing that.

The people who can hide their status seeking most effectively in order to better achieve status. And so what that is, is a kind of deception and that you are hiding something about yourself and your motives. And the result of that hiding is that you’re gaining more status. Um, and I view that as a big part of what charisma is.

Charisma is the ability to hide all of these unflattering motivations and hide these unflattering sides of ourselves, our desire to gain status. And the result of doing that well is that you gain status. And there’s something kind of weird about that. Because you would think that being deceived would be bad for [00:38:00] us.

So if you are actually just really, uh, interested and motivated by status, you wanna rise to the top, um, and you cover that up successfully, such that I think you’re just an authentically, selfless, humble person who doesn’t care about any of those petty things. And I really admire you. But deep down, you’re just a selfish status seeker.

If you’ve deceived me, you might think that’s bad for me, but in an important sense, it’s actually not, it’s actually good for me because if you’re likely to deceive all of my friends and relatives, and you’re likely to deceive everyone in my social group, uh, as effectively as you’ve deceived. Then it’s actually bad for me if I see through your deception.

’cause if I’m the only one who calls you out on your bullshit and sees you for the narcissist that you are, well then all of your friends and allies are going to come to your side and have your back. And I’m going to be the one who looks like an asshole. And you are going to use your tremendous status and influence to retaliate against me and make my life a living hell.

Right? So [00:39:00] it’s one of many examples where it is often better for us to coordinate on a falsehood than to fail to coordinate with other people. Right? So if we all agree that you’re awesome and we all have your back, if I’m the only one who disagrees with everybody, then I’m screwed. 

Zach Elwood: You’re in trouble.

David Pinsof: Yeah. It it, I’m in trouble. So it, it, it, it weirdly benefits me to be deceived by you. And I think that’s a, a big part of, of what charisma is and why it’s so ineffable. Because if we realized. The deception that was being practiced, the charisma would disappear. If we could pinpoint exactly what it was about the charismatic person that caused us to admire them or to want to affiliate with them, then, then their charisma would disappear.

They would become a phony. It’s, it’s because we’re not aware of the magic trick being played on us, that the charisma is successful and it’s actually, uh, uh, better for us to be, to buy into the magic trick than to see through it. [00:40:00] 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. It seems like, uh, people who are good manipulators of other people, it seems like they have, they’re really good at.

The theory of mind stuff, like understanding how they’re perceived by other people. So they’re constantly like thinking like, well, what would, what would, um, what would put this person’s mind at ease? I have to be very careful about how I word things, how I say things. And they’re able to, to, to foresee how saying something a different way or saying something in a different, uh, using different, slightly different words might trigger somebody else’s.

Um, you know, understanding that they might be manipulating, and I’m thinking of extreme cases of like Keith Rani, not necessarily like, you know, Ted talk people or something. I’m thinking of the, the extreme manipulators. It seems like they have a very good, just a very good radar of the, like, recursive mind reading about like, how, how is this thing I’m gonna say be perceived and how can I set this person at ease Right in, right in this moment, you know?

David Pinsof: Yeah, absolutely. They’re, [00:41:00] they’re very good at, uh, manipulating people without. Appearing manipulative. Right? And, and in fact, you know, you, you can’t manipulate someone if you appear manipulative. The only way to successfully manipulate someone is to not appear as as manipulative. Right? And, and, and Keith Rania was an expert at that as any cult leader is, is an expert at that.

Um, and I think another aspect of his success and a lot of cult leader success is being really tapped into the sacred values and the narratives that people use to disguise their status seeking. Um, because I think a lot of cult leaders will, will come up with a sacred narrative that portrays what the cult is doing in very altruistic and high-minded or utopian terms, you know, we’re saving the world.

Um, you know, Keith Ranier’s cult was, was very much steeped in, in these utopian ideas that they were, uh, at the vanguard of, of a utopian movement that was going to change everything and revolutionize, uh, human wellbeing and human happiness and, you know, whatever. Um, I think manipulators and, and charismatic cult leaders are also experts in the sacred and in sacred values and in utopian narratives.

Zach Elwood: A quick note here: in a previous episode, I talked to Ellen Huet, who wrote a book about Nicole Daedone and her OneTaste organization, which promoted what they called “orgasmic meditation” and which some people called a cult. Ellen made a great point that charisma is in the eye of the beholder; that some people will respond to different things. This helps explain why one person can think “wow, that person is really charismatic and charming and genuine” and another person can look at that same person and think “They’re fake and sleazy; they’re an obvious con artist and liar.” 

There’s also Tim Levine’s Truth Default Theory, which says that by default we believe unless something raises our suspicions to question something. 

When coupling these ideas with David’s ideas, we might say that people can have different views on what constitutes inauthentic and suspicious status-seeking. There might be a range of types of behaviors that could raise someone’s alarms and get them to distrust someone. And everyone will have different types of alarms for that. 

Inside living beings, there are certain biological molecules that fit together with other biological molecules and chemicals to interact and unlock chain reactions. Things have to fit together in precise ways to trigger reactions and activations. We could view certain types of personalities as fitting together well and meshing well with certain other types of personalities. Someone like Teal Swan; her personality and approach and the things she says and the way she says them are going to interact well with certain types of people, while others with different types of guards and sensors and trip wires will be immediately turned off by her. Certain personalities unlock reactions in certain other personalities.  

Anyway, just some thoughts that I think are relevant and that help explain why what we call charisma and charm are nothing real and intrinsic but are subjective… merely in the eye of the beholder….

A quick note here: I talk here about some tie-in I see with David’s ideas and mental struggles. I don’t think I did a good job communicating it here, as I’m not used to talking about such things, so I figured I’d try to preface it with what I was trying to say. 

I think it’s true that we are surrounded by selfishness and status-seeking. I don’t say that to be pessimistic, I just think it’s the nature of being an independent, thinking entity, and therefore the nature of being human. And for people who don’t feel mentally well, for people who find the world and the people in it threatening in various ways, that can be a source of stress. One can feel that one is surrounded by inauthentic, selfish creatures. And to be a quote “normal” functioning person, one must be willing to play the “games” that most people in society play; one must be willing to play various status games and be selfish, in various ways. Being emotionally healthy and quote “normal” means accepting, at some level, being okay with… the various status games and status-seeking that ourselves and others engage in. And I think David and I’s discussion of some of the more positive and non-dark ways to see his ideas is pertinent here; seeing the understandable and more positive aspects of why status-seeking is common can be a way to combat the more pessimistic and threatening interpretations of that, which can have implications for mental health. 

Hopefully that overview helps make my line of questions here make more sense. Back to the talk…

Zach Elwood: Uh, so this might be a little oversharing, but I’ve talked about this sometimes on this podcast. I, and in college I dropped out, uh, in my sophomore year due to, you know, a so-called nervous breakdown. And I was having all these, uh, panic attacks and, uh, you know, dis I was dysfunctional, couldn’t really function in college anymore, so, uh, went back home.

But part of that experience was about, uh, kind of like the Holden call field thing and catch her in awry you, you seeing everybody as phony, seeing everybody as essentially greedy and out for themselves, and finding that very threatening and, um, so yeah. And then, uh, and I, I think, uh, so I’ve thought, thought a lot about the, um.

You know, [00:43:00] psychology and, and, uh, psychosis and, and mental illness things over the years since that experience. And it seems like to, to me, the, the isolating, the, the fears of isolation and the anxiety that comes from isolation is part of that. And I’m curious if you’ve thought about how your work can relate to, uh, mental illness.

Because it seems to me that a big, to me, a big part of reaching some, uh, mentally ill state or psychotic state is kind of being so stressed out by the normal, uh. Uh, normal interactions that are required to be a, you know, a normal human because there is just so much calculation involved. And if you, you know about thinking like, well, what does this person think of me, you know, how do I interact with them?

You have to keep track of your own, uh, uh, a model of yourself and model of other people and all these complex interactions. And it seems like, you know, if you’re not feeling well, if you’re [00:44:00] anxious, if you start going down a rabbit hole of feeling unwell, you kind of get to this point where these so-called normal interactions that are required of us to be, you know, so-called normal people, functioning people, that that kind of stuff can just become really overwhelming and we kind of like drop out of it internally where we just kind of give up on trying to manage all this, this complex calculus.

At least that’s the learnings that I think I’ve, I’ve gotten from my own experiences in reading a lot about psychology over the years, but I’m curious if you’ve thought much about. How your, your work and, and thinking relate to mental illness? 

David Pinsof: Yeah, I mean, I haven’t written a lot about mental illness. Um, I’m, I’m not a clinical psychologist by training.

I, I, I’m more interested in, in basic research on, into how the mind works. Um, I, I, in terms of, you know, anyone listening who might be experiencing similar mental health problems about social anxiety, um, I, I wouldn’t have much to say beyond just the normal platitude [00:45:00] of, you know, seeking therapy, seeking psycho pharmaceutical treatments.

You know, these things are effective and, and they can, they can help. Um, but, uh, I’ve, I’ve been thinking a bit about how some mentally unhealthy patterns might be results of positive feedback loops. So the clearest example of this might be something like a panic attack. I’m beginning to think that what a panic attack is is.

A positive feedback loop where you’re afraid of your fear itself. So when you’re, uh, experiencing a fear response, there are a lot of physiological and bodily reactions that kick into gear, right? Your heart starts racing, your muscles tense up, your blood pressure increases. Um, and what I think can happen is when you interpret some of those physiological and bodily responses as scary in and of them themselves, then that creates a positive feedback loop where you get afraid of something, your heart starts pounding.

You start being [00:46:00] afraid of the fact that your heart is pounding. Maybe, maybe you’re having a heart attack, maybe you’re dying, maybe you know you’ve been poisoned or you’re sick or something, right? And once you start being afraid of your heart pounding, well, you, you get more afraid, and that makes your heart pound even more.

And then you get even more afraid, and then your heart pound even more. And it’s a kind of mental explosion. That can lead into a panic attack. Um, and I’ve been interested in the hypothesis that maybe some other mental illnesses might have that kind of flavor where it’s an emotional system where the snake starts to eat its own tail, where the output of the system starts to become the input in a way that can create a kind of mental explosion.

Um, and I haven’t thought about anxiety in particular as, as being an example of that, but it’s, but one possible way it could be. An example of that is if social anxiety prevents you from, uh, making connections with other people, um, and in so far as you are, um, less connected with other people, um, and you are [00:47:00] less affiliated with others, you’re gonna be more anxious, which.

Makes it even harder for you to connect with other people, which makes you even more socially anxious and so on in a kind of feedback loop. And I think a lot of people might fall into that trap where, um, they’re anxious because they’re not connected with people and they’re not connected with people because they’re anxious.

And the only way to break out of that is, is just to temporarily be really uncomfortable and anxious to try to break outta that cycle. And that’s really hard, right? I don’t, I don’t have a recipe for doing that. It’s, it’s the problem of, of the, the enduring the short-term cost for the long-term gain. And, you know, humans have been struggling to solve that problem for millennia, and I don’t have a, you know, a magic bullet solution to it.

But I do think that, um, I, people have to get over that hump of trying to make connections with people, even if it’s scary or uncomfortable or, or anxiety provoking, that getting over that hump can, can get you out of a, that vicious cycle. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, I think it’s pro, I think it’s like a lot of, [00:48:00] um, psychological.

Thing is there’s, there’s a lot of various feedback loop loops involved. I, I do see some, uh, I’d probably put it better in words writing it afterwards, but I do see connections between your work and, uh, so-called mental illness because I do think, you know, getting back to the way that we can see other people, as in very cynical ways, I think a lot of, uh, mental, mental illness can come down to seeing other people as very threatening and kind of being, being made dysfunctional by that in an, in an extreme, you know, pathological sense.

We just start seeing other people, as you know, we, we start seeing other people as so threatening, as so greedy, as so out for themselves. And, and you go down this, uh, pathological rabbit hole and you lose the sense that maybe I’m like other people, maybe I can connect with them, these kinds of things. And I see your, I see your, your work kind of related to that because it’s like, uh, to be a.

To be a normal functioning people, we do kind of have to accept that other people are like us, uh, that [00:49:00] other, that we are like other people. And that even, even if we all have, uh, you know, at, at at heart kind of self-serving, uh, motivations that that isn’t necessarily a, a horrible thing. You know, that, that there’s still positive things within that.

So that, that’s where I kind of see some relations there, at least from my own experiences and having read about a lot of people’s experiences of mental illness that are, that kind of have similar map overs. But anyway, just throwing it out there for, for you. 

David Pinsof: Yeah, totally. I mean, I think another interesting aspect of this that my work touches on a little bit is our.

Compulsion to tell stories about our behaviors and about our motives and, and about our minds, and how we have very little access into what’s really going on in our unconscious mind or what, what we, yeah. What we’re really striving for in life. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I wanted talk about the, I wanted to talk about the gica thing tied into that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 

David Pinsof: yeah, sure. So the, yeah. The gica experiments, he has some pretty disturbing experiments where he looks at split brain patients, which they have their corpus callosum severed, and that’s the, the [00:50:00] set of nerve fibers that connect the left and right hemisphere of the brain. And what he finds is that the left hemisphere will often confabulate, uh, reasons for something that the right hemisphere did.

So he can actually, uh, isolate which hemisphere gets a particular piece of information, because the right eye is connected to the left hemisphere, and the left eye is connected to the right hemisphere. So he can show you something in your left eye so that only your right hemisphere gets it. He can show you a command, like get up and go to the door.

Right. And your left hemisphere, which is more involved in language and producing verbal responses, will not be privy to that. It will not get that sensory stimulation. So what you will feel if you are a split brain patient is a, a, an urge coming from your right hemisphere to get up and go to the, to the door.

And your left hemisphere will make up a reason why you got up and went to. Yeah. They they asked them 

Zach Elwood: why, why did you do that? And they confabulate. 

David Pinsof: Exactly. So, um, if, if you, so the, the correct answer of why they got up and got to the door is because, you know, their uh, [00:51:00] their right, sorry, their left eye got the command to get up and go to the door.

That’s the correct reason. But they don’t say that because they don’t have that. Instead they make up a reason like, oh, I went to go get a drink of water. I went to get a Coke, or I went to the bathroom, whatever. They’ll make up something that is not the correct reason, um, but is a sort of superficially plausible reason.

Right. And the disturbing implication is that we’re just doing this all the time. Right. We’re constantly confabulating. Superficially plausible reasons for why we do what we’re doing. Um, and you know, we, we certainly have more, uh, evidence to work with when we’re constructing that story. And we have to make it consistent with our sensory evidence and with the stuff that other people are aware of.

And so that constrains us, uh, to some extent to, you know, generate stories that are, you know, more likely to be true or have some truth to them. But we still have a lot of wiggle room to bullshit a lot about why we do things. Um, and we often bullshit in the direction of making ourselves seem more benevolent.

Uh, more altruistic, more competent, more rational than we in fact are a lot of the time. [00:52:00] And connecting back to the idea about mental illness, it, it might be that this actually, uh, pours fuel onto the fire of mental illness in a lot of cases, and that we could have mental health problems, but talk ourselves out of the fact that we have them or be unaware of the fact that we have them.

So if I am, have a hard time connecting with other people, uh, one way to interpret that is I’m having some kind of social anxiety problems. Having some kind of mental health problem where I can’t, uh, my, my normal social machinery is just isn’t working well or I have anxiety or depression or whatever.

That’s one way to interpret it. And in a lot of cases, that’s the correct interpretation. But because our confabulation and storytelling minds, uh, are so active, they will off that, that answer will often not come to us. We’ll just rationalize why we’re having a hard time connecting with people and instead of giving the correct answer, which is I’m having, you know, depression or anxiety or whatever.

We’ll come up with an answer. Well, oh, everyone just must suck. [00:53:00] Everyone’s just a phony. Uh, everyone’s out to get me. Uh, everyone’s trying to hurt me or conspiring against me in some way. And we’ll cook up a superficially plausible sounding story to defend. We’re having a heart to defend ourselves too.

Yeah. To defend ourselves. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

David Pinsof: And we’ll often end up believing that story and, and that story actually prevents us from solving the mental health problem and in fact, makes the mental health problem worse. And so I think a big part of the solution to mental health problems is trying to see through our own bullshit stories that we tell ourselves.

’cause oftentimes those bullshit stories will get in the way of us actually solving our problems, uh, in a, in an effective way. And so I think we really need to be skeptical of the stories we tell ourselves. Uh, yeah. And because often they’re wrong and often they’re preventing us from actually getting better.

Zach Elwood: No, that’s great. I think that’s actually one of the, if I had to sum up one of my biggest tips for people dealing with, you know, mental health struggles, it’s like, be skeptical of your own certainty about your issues. Because so often we do reach. And not just, yeah, I would, I would say not even, this applies to everything.

Getting back to the confabulation aspect, I mean, when you, the gica experiments were so kind of mind blowing and, uh, counterintuitive and scary. It’s like we should, and getting back to your, what you read about in your, in your blog posts, it’s like, it’s a, it’s a good thing to be skeptical about what we believe our own motivations are, because that helps us cut away the, the dangerous bullshit or the harm harmful bullshit and, and try to get more to the heart of the matter, whether it’s societal things we’re working on, or whether it’s our own personal lives.

Yeah. I was curious to ask if you were a fan of, uh, Peter Turin’s ideas, or is it Turchin, I, I can’t remember how he pronounce it, his idea about the frustrated elites. Do you know much about that and would you care to talk about that, how it tie might tie into your work? 

David Pinsof: Sure. Um, so Peter Turchin has some ideas about.

What’s called elite overproduction. And uh, the idea there is that there are a limited number of slots for elites to [00:55:00] fill. And these might be positions of power, uh, in either in government or in organizations. And when you have too many elites to fill that, those limited number of slots, then you have a lot of competition and rivalry within elites.

And what he thinks happens as a result is a lot of societal unrest that disgruntled elites will try to start, you know, uh, revolutionary political movements will try to, uh, disrupt the status quo in various ways politically. Um, and that leads to a lot of societal unrest. So I think there are, um, a lot of problems and things you could critique about this idea.

Um, it’s kind of unclear what counts as a slot. To fill it, it’s kind of hard to measure, like what, how do, how do we know if there are too many elites and like how, how does that result to like, what is societal instability? What does that even mean? Like there, there’s a lot of fuzziness here and a lot of things you could, you could criticize, but I am sympathetic to the [00:56:00] overarching idea that there is competition between people for status in one form or another.

Certainly positions of power in, in government or in organizations are one kind of status that, that people compete over. And I am sympathetic to the idea that those competitive dynamics really matter for society in shaping how society. Functions. So, uh, part of me is sympathetic to the idea and think that he’s on, I, I think that he’s onto something there, but in, in terms of the details and how you measure it and how you define societal instability, I, I’m, I’m a little more skeptical.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I saw a little map over between the two. You’re in his ideas because I, I did, like, the thing I liked about his idea was I, I liked the idea that. People could be, could come to be very anti-establishment for reasons that were not obvious to them, similar to your work where it’s like they might be reaching for these ide things that they think are ideological, but it’s actually about them just kind of hitting the system because they haven’t achieved sufficient status.

And I, I [00:57:00] saw that as being connected. 

David Pinsof: Yeah. I will say, um, probably what I think is the best defense of Turian ideas for, for lack of a better term, would be, uh, musa elgar’s work. Um, we have never been woke, so he has a book where he dissects the phenomenon of wokeness and where it comes from. And also I think he, he is a very skilled anthropologist of us, of ourselves and sort of defines.

Us, namely the people listening to podcasts like this as symbolic capitalists. We are people who are good at manipulating symbols, who’ve achieved, you know, high levels of education. We are, uh, to a certain extent elites. And he does a really good job of taking an outside perspective as an anthropologist would of that culture.

And why, uh, woke ideas, for lack of a better term, are appealing to that, uh, subculture. And he takes a very ian analysis of that, where he thinks a lot of wokeness stems from competition between elites for social status and he views wokeness as, as, as a product of that kind of competition. So I’d recommend that if, if, uh, if your listeners are interested in, in, in that lens.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Yeah. And I’ve said with my work on political polarization, I often say that I thought moose is one of the, uh, most important contributors to understanding. American polarization with his work, and especially his paper that came out years ago, race and the Race for the White House. Understanding, you know, more liberal democratic contributions to polarization.

I think his work has, has been great. But yeah, this, this is opening up the polarization thing, which I don’t, I don’t wanna take up all your time, but maybe one day in the future we can talk about your polarization related work because Yeah. EE even there I was, I, I just really enjoyed reading your work on that, examining, um, the, the, the nature of the, uh, the shifting tribal allegiances that help explain, uh, you know, political conflict.

But yeah, we don’t need to get into that now. I’ll just leave that as a teaser maybe for the people listening and maybe we can talk about it someday in the, in the future. But, um, yeah. Yeah. 

David Pinsof: Sure. 

Zach Elwood: Uh, but I really appreciate you joining me, David, and find your work very interesting. And do you wanna talk a little bit about how, how people can stay in touch with your work and follow you?

David Pinsof: Yeah. So, uh, I write a substack. Um, it’s called Everything is Bullshit. Um, you can find it at, uh, everything is bullshit blog. Um, you can feel free to DM me if, if you’d like, um, either on Substack notes or on Twitter slash x. So I also have, uh, I’m on Twitter at David Soff. Um, those are two ways you can reach me.

Feel free to, to DM me. Um, you could also email me, me if you want David pins off at Gmail. Uh, I’m pretty easy to reach and pretty friendly. So yeah, 

Zach Elwood: whenever I hear your name of your blog, I think you should make like the Lego movie. Uh, everything is awesome. Turn it into everything is bullshit, kind of theme song for your, uh, anyway, just an idea.

David Pinsof: That’d be awesome. Yeah, it’d be fun if maybe I’ll see if I can get AI to do that. That would be fun. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, there you go. Um, okay. Thanks a lot David. 

David Pinsof: Yep, my pleasure.

Zach: That was a talk with David Pinsof, co-creator of Cards Against Humanity and an evolutionary psychologist who works on status-seeking, tribalism, humor, and more. I recommend subscribing to his Substack, which is called Everything is Bullshit. 

This has been the People Who Read People podcast with me, Zachary Elwood. You can learn more about this podcast at behavior-podcast.com. You can learn more about my work on poker tells at readingpokertells.com

Thanks for listening. 


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From behavior bullshit to behavior research, with Vincent Denault

Vincent Denault once believed he was learning how to read people’s hidden thoughts through analyzing body language. As a young lawyer in Quebec, he attended behavior analysis and “synergology” trainings that promised the ability to detect lies and determine hidden thoughts from small gestures and movements. But after digging into the research, he realized much of what he’d been taught wasn’t true. In this talk, Vincent describes that journey and we explore how body-language myths spread through trainings, media, and YouTube behavior “experts.” We also discuss his research on how judges use behavior to assess witness credibility, his views on Paul Ekman, and his views on how bad-behavior-information spreaders protect themselves from criticism and responsibility. Along the way, we examine why nonverbal behavior still matters in human interaction—just not in the reliable lie-detection ways many people assume.

Episode links:

Topics discussed include:

  • His journey out of the people-reading/Synergology world and into science
  • How judges can use nonverbal behavior to judge witness testimony and determine veracity, and why that’s a problem
  • How spreaders of behavior bullshit can use calls for caution, and calls for “baselining,” as a way to evade criticism and avoid taking responsibility for their bad info
  • The role of media and shows, like the show Lie to Me and assorted movies, in spreading bad behavior info
  • Critical views of Paul Ekman
  • The oft-repeated but false claim that nonverbal behavior represents most of the meaning in communication, and where that false idea stems from

Resources related to this talk:

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Gary Noesner, FBI negotiator at Waco, on de-escalation and reading people

What actually works to avoid violent outcomes when someone is armed, emotional, and on the edge? I talk with former FBI chief hostage negotiator Gary Noesner, author of Stalling for Time and 30-year veteran of the FBI, about the psychology of high-stakes crisis situations — including lessons from Waco and other cases from his career. Gary explains the “paradox of power” (why pushing aggressively often backfires), and why most so-called hostage situations are really emotional crises, not bargaining contests. We also discuss the limits of reading body language and behavior, the power of active listening, and the importance of tone of voice and how you phrase things. 

A transcript is below.

Episode links:

Topics discussed:

  • Why “stalling for time” is such a core tactic in highly in volatile stand-off situations 
  • The “paradox of power” and why that concept is so important in any high conflict situation
  • Stories from Gary’s career that illustrate some key points about conflict and negotiation, including the Waco siege
  • Why the concept of “never giving something without getting something” is faulty and can amplify conflict 
  • The fact that most quote “hostage” situations aren’t really hostage incidents with clear bargaining demands — but are just crisis intervention situations 
  • The importance of listening closely to what someone is saying; including to what may seem like minor statements
  • Gary’s views on body language and its role in law enforcement work
  • How Chris Voss’s negotiation ideas in Never Split the Difference relates to Gary’s points
  • The importance of voice tone in high-stakes, volatile situations; how sometimes how you say something can matter just as much as what you say

TRANSCRIPT

(Transcript is generated automatically and will contain errors.)

Gary Noesner: Moving forward a couple years to the Waco situation, a couple years after that, I would argue, and I think most analysts of the situation would agree that as negotiators we had the right approach. You know, we got 35 people out when I was there, including 21 children. But you know, there was a counterside within the FBI that wanted to apply more pressure; the “paradox of power” that we just spoke about earlier, and basically force them to come out. And of course because I was resistan to that approach, I was replaced halfway through and they went with a harder line. Nobody else came out for the rest of the siege of. I was there for 26 of the 51 days.

Gary Noesner: Now getting back to the body language thing, I mean, I think there’s probably some folks that are just incredibly good at it, but I don’t recall an investigation that I worked in my 30 years that it played any significant role in whatsoever. It’s like Freud used to say: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 

I mean, I think you have to be really careful. On the jacket of my book, the day they took the photograph for that, it was very cold, and I just had a shirt on, and I had my arms tucked like this, and my hands were under my armpits. I normally don’t stand that way, but my hands were cold. So later somebody wrote me, oh, that’s a very defensive position you were in. And I said, well, I don’t know. Maybe I was, but I think I was primarily just cold, you know? You just, you have to be careful of drawing too much inference,

That was a couple clips from my talk with Gary Noesner, who had a 30 year career in the FBI as an investigator, instructor, and negotiator. Gary is the author of the great book Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI hostage negotiator; really recommend that book; it’s got so many exciting stories but also just a lot of wisdom. 

If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you probably know I’m interested in human behavior and also in conflict dynamics. I’ve written my own books on political polarization, which you can find at www.american-anger.com. I first got interested in interviewing Gary a couple years ago when I was watching the Netflix documentary Waco: American Apocalypse. Gary talked about a concept he called the “paradox of power”; the idea that, when in conflict, pushing aggressively on the quote “other side” can result in them pushing back harder on you; aggressive approaches can be self-defeating. And that’s such an important point when it comes to any conflict situation; my own writing on polarization is largely about getting people to be willing to examine how their own approaches, or their side’s approaches, can unintentionally amplify contempt and animosity more, if they’re not careful. 

And so i’d been wanting to talk to Gary for a while about that, and I also wanted to talk to him for his takes on behavior – reading body language and facial expression. The main reason I started this podcast was to focus on practically useful aspects of reading behavior in various domains and professions. It was an offshoot of my time spent as a professional poker player, and my work on poker tells. And part of the focus of this podcast is to examine some of the very bad and distorted ideas about reading behavior that are spread by many self-described “behavior experts.” Because there are simply a lot of people in the people-reading space who make a lot of money selling bullshit ideas; some of these quote “experts” are rather egregiously deceptive and unethical in their work; people like Chase Hughes and Jack Brown, and quite a few others. Others are more ethical and responsible with their work but still may be selling and promoting information that has little to no practical real-world application. And that’s what I’ve tried to focus on with this podcast; where are the real-world applications of reading and understanding behavior? Let’s try to strip away the nonsense and the confusing ambiguous stuff and focus on what matters and really leads to useful decisions.

Topics Gary and I discuss include: 

  • Why “stalling for time” is such a core tactic in highly ** volatile stand-off situations 
  • The “paradox of power” and why that concept is so important in any high conflict situation
  • Stories from Gary’s career that illustrate some key points about conflict and negotiation, including the Waco siege
  • Why the concept of “never giving something without getting something” is faulty and can amplify conflict 
  • The fact that most quote “hostage” situations aren’t really hostage incidents with clear bargaining demands — but are just crisis intervention situations 
  • The importance of listening closely to what someone is saying; including to what may seem like minor statements
  • Gary’s views on body language and its role in law enforcement work
  • The importance of voice tone in high-stakes, volatile situations; how sometimes how you say something can matter just as much as what you say

If you like this talk, please consider subscribing to the People Who Read People podcast on youtube or wherever you listen. I’ve got a lot of other episodes on law enforcement, interrogation, and negotiation-related topics; you can find compilations of this at my site behavior-podcast.com

Also, i’m currently working on a book that will be about reading people, with a focus on examples of logical deductions people have made about what people say or what they do. Do you have personal stories where some small thing someone did or someone said changed your approach in a personal or professional situation? Send any stories along to me and there’s a chance I might put the story in my book; with your permission of course. You can reach me via the contact from at behavior-podcast.com.

A little more about Gary Noesner from his site garynoesner.com, and his last name is spelled NOESNER: 

Gary retired from the FBI in 2003 following a 30 year career as an investigator, instructor, and negotiator.   A significant focus of his career was directed toward investigating Middle East hijackings in which American citizens were victimized. In addition, he was an FBI hostage negotiator for 23 years of his career, retiring as the Chief of the FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit, Critical Incident Response Group, the first person to hold that position. In that capacity he was heavily involved in numerous crisis incidents covering prison riots, right-wing militia standoffs, religious zealot sieges, terrorist embassy takeovers, airplane hijackings, and over 120 overseas kidnapping cases involving American citizens.

Following his retirement from the FBI he became a Senior Vice President with Control Risks, an international risk consultancy, assisting clients in managing overseas kidnap incidents. He continues to Consult independently and speaks at law enforcement conferences and corporate gatherings around the world. 

Ok here’s the talk with Gary Noesner: 

Zach Elwood: Hi, Gary. Thanks for joining me. 

Gary Noesner: You’re welcome. Glad to be here. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, it’s a big honor. Uh, I you’ve done some amazing things in your career. You’ve written an amazing book. Uh, you’ve done some very interesting things. I really enjoyed your your Stalling for Time book. I recommend people read it. It had so many, not just exciting stories, but uh, so many learnings that applied outside of, uh.

Negotiation in, in personal or professional life. So, yeah, just thanks a lot for joining me. Um, so maybe we can start with, um, how did you arrive at the title of your book? Maybe you could talk a little bit about why you decided to, uh, to arrive at Stalling for time as the title. 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. When I, um, got my, uh, initial training as a hostage negotiator in the FBI, which is, you know, I wasn’t, uh, original, uh.

Person that started it all, but I was, uh, I guess you’d say the, the next generation. And, um, the first three words on my note guide that I wrote down were stall for times. And, um, you know, the premise being that, uh, and I thought it would make a good title because in essence, um, primarily we deal with high emotion and people.

Um, acting outside of their normal coping skills and posing a risk to themselves or someone else. So what we learned is if we are patient and engaging and empathic, um, it lowers that emotional content and we have better outcomes that normally, um, benefits from the passage of time. You know, it’s, it’s very hard to keep, uh.

Your emotions charged up for an extended period of time. So there is value alone in simply slowing the process down. We’re not intentionally trying to elongate a siege and make it last longer than it should, but on the other hand, we shouldn’t be pushing and, um, uh, forcing individual into becoming more violent in response to what we do.

We have to be patient and take our time. So I thought stalling for time would, would be a good, uh. Sort a general title to describe in a general way what we do. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Yeah. You describe, uh, one of the things you describe is how, initially, when all the emotions are at their peak, they’re, they’re only able to see really, um, more volatile or, um.

Binary options, but as, as they calm down a little bit, they can start to entertain other options that aren’t as emotional driven. So I thought that was a really good point. 

Gary Noesner: Yeah, I mean, we’re, we’re dealing with people who are in, in crisis and when you’re in crisis and you’re more often than not, um, evoking high emotion, uh, it’s difficult to think clearly.

I mean, you know, we use the old. Teeter totter, which is my favorite illustration. I don’t have a slide in front of me, but if you can follow my hands, you know, in the the schoolyard kids game when emotions are high, rational thinking and, and behavior is low, and, and I think that’s, uh, hard to argue against.

It’s an absolute and human condition. So what, through negotiations with the passage of time and a patient. Effort to create a relationship of trust. We lower emotions and look what happens when we do that. The person’s ability to think and behave more rationally increases. It’s a pretty simple concept, but you know, we haven’t always practiced it in law enforcement.

Uh, you know, exchanges with citizens who are, uh, going through a difficult situation 

Zach Elwood: that seems like the same, the same concept applies for the law enforcement or whoever’s on the other end of such a negotiation because sometimes. They’ll also be caught up in, you know, we need to do this now for emotional reasons, or we need to solve this immediately for whatever reason.

Yeah. So it applies to everybody. Yeah. 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. I, I think police officers, FBI agents, they’re human beings. They, um, they, they, they are trained and they, they have authority and they have a, a badge and a gun and they’re, when they give somebody an instruction or an order, um, uh, and that is not, uh, adhered to.

They don’t like it, you know, it makes ’em angry. And, you know, there are those police officers that aren’t particularly good at containing their emotions and, um, and, uh, engaging in a more thoughtful way. I mean, we’re certainly seeing it in Minneapolis now and other places, you know, when I see so many of these confrontations and it just, it just, uh, you know, it just leaps out of the, of, of the TV coverage that, you know, just a more patient, thoughtful exchange could diffuse.

A great deal of these situations. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. I first got interested in talking to you when I watched the, the recent Netflix documentary about Waco, which I think came out a couple years ago. You were featured in that obviously, and you talked about the, uh, paradox of power, as you called it, and you write about that in your book.

Um, can you talk a little bit about how you see the paradox of power and why it’s so important in negotiation and conflict situations? 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. You know, go, going back to what we said earlier, um, when law enforcement traditionally has, um, demanded a certain behavior or an outcome, a surrender compliance, and they don’t get it, it becomes frustrating.

And then we say, okay, well I tried to do this the nice way, now I’m gonna make you do what I want. ’cause I have the authority and the ability to do that. But what that generally, uh, fails to take into account is. It’s the paradox of power, and that is the harder you push, the more likely it is that you get resistance.

So, I mean, it’s a, it’s a powerful thing and it, and it’s, it constantly has to be taught and retaught and reminded to decision makers in law enforcement. You know, this may make you feel better to show this person that you’re strong and tough, and you can harm them if you want. But is that really the most successful pathway, uh, or the best pathway for success?

And, you know, and that’s, that’s a tough sell sometimes because there, there’s, again, there’s a lot of, uh, people in law enforcement that, so I have the power and authority and I’m gonna, I’m gonna exercise it. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It’s a really powerful concept. I mean, in, in my own work on political polarization, I try to get people to see how, even if they are sure they’re right, you know, on whatever issue, you know, we’re often.

Personally often sure that we’re right, but how you approach the disagreement can actually create more pushback if you don’t handle it right, no matter what the conflict 

Gary Noesner: is. Well, and it’s the old simplistic term of, you know, you get, you get more with honey than with vinegar, you know, and, and I think there’s a lot to be said for that.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place where police officers just simply, uh, have to use force. But you know what, we have always been. Uh, taught what we say we believe in, in law enforcement and the Constitution requires of us, is that we never use any more force than is absolutely necessary.

So you, you should be able to, uh, function, law enforcement, jail function, saying that if we end up using force and this has a, an unhappy outcome, someone’s hurt or killed, we wanna be able to show that. We had no other choice but to use force. The behavior, the actions of the perpetrator left us with no court.

Anything less than that is, is just, is not gonna cut it. Uh, particularly in, in today’s environment where everybody has a camera, everybody’s a newscaster, you know? So if, if you don’t, um, expend the time and energy. Into first trying everything within your power to diffuse and avoid conflict. Then questions are gonna be raised about, you know, what you did and why was it necessary.

You know, I always like to ask the question in these, in my, my past life when we would be dealing with a tough situation and someone would suggest, well, it’s time for us to go in. And I would ask a question, well, what has changed from before? What? What articulation can we make that we have to go in now and put people in danger?

’cause when people with guns go in against other people with guns, bad things happen. And they don’t always just happen to the bad guys. So we’re putting police officers in harm’s risk. Are we able to articulate that? We have no choice. There’s nothing else we could do. We have to do it now. Failure to do it now is gonna cause someone to be seriously harmed.

You know, and if you ask yourself those kinds of questions, it can be a real break on, you know, automatically thinking, well, we’re gonna go in and we’re gonna get the bad guy. We never stop and think maybe the bad guy’s gonna get us. No matter how well trained we are and, and, and competent we are in executing our AR arrest procedures and our using our tactical teams.

You know, police officers get killed. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: So the question I always ask is, okay, did we have to go in? Was it absolutely necessary? Sometimes it is, but quite often we find it’s not. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Was that, uh, I was curious if that was, um, an expression that you made up the paradox of power? 

Gary Noesner: No, it’s, no, it’s not. I, you know, and I don’t, I can’t tell you who did, I think the first time I really.

Heard it was from Dr. Mike Webster, a Canadian psychologist that they used to work very closely with. I think that’s the first time I heard it and I said, wow. It’s so, it’s so, um, clearly. Mm-hmm. Uh, it speaks to the issue that we see so often in, uh, conflict, uh, with perpetrators. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Uh, on that, on that, uh, idea of.

Threading the line between, uh, being forceful and, and giving people, um, respect and gaining rapport and such. Uh, you talked about, in the book, you wrote about how, you know, it’s, it’s also very important as you try to gain their trust and respect and, and, um, set them at ease. You, it can also be important to show them that there are real limits involved and you use kind of a funny illustration of this.

Uh, with a story of a hijacker who asked for a cup of coffee, could, do you remember that story? Do you care to share that story? 

Gary Noesner: Yeah, it’s an old story. Um, you know, uh, guys hijacking a plane and, uh, JFK many, many years ago, back in the sixties or seventies, and the, you know, some point in time an FBI agents.

On the ground speaking to him up at the cockpit and, you know, amongst his demands for fuel and flying somewhere else with his hostages on the plane, he wants a hot cup of coffee cream and two sugars, you know, and about an hour later, he gets a cold cup of coffee, no cream, no sugar. And at some subsequent point, not far from there, he, he surrenders and they said, well, what made you come out?

And he said, well, I figured if I couldn’t get a decent cup of coffee, the other things weren’t gonna work out. You know, a great story that kind of illustrates the point. You know, when people, particularly in the hostage taking realm, and let me come back to how much of it’s really hostage taking, but in the hostage taking realm, people feel empowered.

I’m holding this person and I’m threatening their lives. I can control and make the police, the authorities, the government, whatever, do whatever I want. And then when time passes and they don’t get the things that they want, it slowly conveys to them that guess what? Scooter, you don’t have as much power over us as you think.

You don’t say jump, and we do it. Um, you’ve gonna have to work for everything you get from us. This is quid pro quo bargaining. You know, you want food in there, fine. You’re gonna have to let some of those hostages go. Now that’s, you know, that that was the, the methodology that New York, uh, PD started in 73 and the FBI quickly borrowed.

But when we moved into the, the nineties, you know, we really made a major switch towards a crisis intervention model because the realities were that that was 90% of what cops were doing. Um, there’s. People negotiating, uh, out in the law enforcement community have been doing it their whole careers, and they’ve never done an actual hostage situation.

But I need to differentiate too, because a man’s inside with his wife and kids, that’s not necessarily a hostage situation, they’re victims. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: But it, it really requires that there be a demand, if I don’t get this from you, I will kill this person or harm this person. Uh, if they’re just saying, uh, you know, this, this woman’s gonna take my kids and leave me, and you guys go away.

You know, I’ll take care of this. That’s not a hostage situation by definition. 

Zach Elwood: Right. And you talked in, you write in your book about how, I mean, I think it’s like a large majority of these situations are just emotionally, uh, volatile. 90. Yeah. 90% are just somebody Yeah. Snapping or getting into an escalating situation with domestic violence or whatever it might be.

Yeah. Um, 

Gary Noesner: so you know that that was, um. And what we discovered, uh, in, in 1990, my, my, uh, partner at the FBI Academy and I went out to San Francisco area and we, we taught an advanced negotiation course and we, we asked the class, here’s our definition of a hostage situation. And, you know, uh, and how many of you worked those?

And in this advanced class, nobody had worked one. And, and then we sort of had an epiphany saying, you know, we’re kind of teaching the wrong stuff. We’re teaching them quid pro quote bargaining. In situations that are not inherently bargaining situations, they’re crisis intervention. They’re people that are experiencing a sense of loss, loss of relationship, loss of job, loss of finances, loss of self-esteem, you name it.

That’s the powerful trigger to the motivation that they’re exhibiting, which is often go away, leave me alone. Um, and some of these we call homicides to be, they’re. They’re intending to kill someone else and possibly themselves. They just haven’t done it yet. And that, of course, gives us the proverbial salesman’s foot in the door to try to intervene and steer them away from violence.

And we’re, we’re pretty, pretty good at that. Not a hundred percent, but we’re pretty darn good with that. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe that’s a good segue into, uh, you write in the book. The high importance of paying close attention to the language that people use. You know, you, one story you tell in the book was about a case of a, a police officer who had snapped.

He had raped a woman, then went to the bank where his wife worked and shot someone. And you mentioned there that even as hopeless as it superficially seemed and how unlikely a good outcome or nonviolent outcome seemed that even there, even as he seemed to refuse to engage with any anyone, he would occasionally say something like, I just wanna talk to somebody, which was a major clue.

Uh, yeah. You know, which, which on, on the surface, the team. That that talked to you initially about, it acted as if that was some sort of aside and not important, but you saw that it was an important clue as to what he 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Wanted and how he might 

Gary Noesner: respond in that incident. And, and we certainly have had many more like that.

The law enforcement approach is you come out and then we’ll talk, and that’s, uh, counter. Intuitive. I mean, what we should be doing is if he wants to talk now, let’s talk now. Because when he is talking to us, he’s, he’s letting us know what his motivation is, uh, what, what’s driving his behavior. He’s not engaged in.

Uh, harming the hostages when he is talking to us. You know, there’s so many good things that, uh, come out of a sustained, uh, you know, conversation with someone, and, you know, not the least of which is as law enforcement officers, instead of coming across as, uh, authoritative and commanding, we’re almost more like therapists, you know, Hey, you know, Hey, I’m Zach.

It sounds like you really had a difficult time today. Can you tell me more about. The argument you had with your wife, it sounds like it’s, uh, really had a big impact on you. Well, they don’t expect that kind of language from a, a law enforcement representative, and a lot of the people we deal with, you know, believe it or not, they don’t feel like anybody listens to ’em or understands them, and there may not be anybody in their life.

We, we used to call this the double whammy, Zach, you know, when, when most of us have a problem at work, we, we go home to our nurturing families and they’re supportive and encouraging and all that. And conversely, when we have problems at home, in our home life, we may have, uh, coworkers that are very supportive and and nurturing.

A lot of people we deal with don’t have either one of those. They don’t, they don’t have a family support structure and they don’t have a steady employment structure, and they have issues and concerns and problems, and they feel nobody understands them. Nobody’s listened to them, nobody’s. Appreciates their point of view.

So if we can do that in a compressed and albeit dangerous, uh, confrontation, we stand a decent chance of demonstrating to them that we’re not there to make their day worse. We want to help ’em. We don’t wanna see ’em get hurt. You know, as I said, we’re generally pretty successful, not a hundred percent.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Uh, I was recently reading Chris Voss book on negotiation, never split the difference. And I understand that you were a trainer of his at some point. I was curious. 

Gary Noesner: Chris worked for me. Uh, I hired him at the crisis negotiation unit. Great guy. Good, good man. Yep. 

Zach Elwood: This is, do you, oh, go ahead. Go 

Gary Noesner: ahead. 

Zach Elwood: I was just curious if there was a good, a good amount of map over between that you saw between what he writes about and what you talk about 

Gary Noesner: there.

There are certainly is some, I mean, I think Chris, uh, also talks about, uh, empathy and, and, and creating empathy. And that’s pretty much the standard throughout the business. And, uh, I think he focuses is a bit more on business and. The way you say something in order to elicit the kind of response that you hope to get by how I pose a question or how I respond to something you say, uh, can drive your behavior.

And, and, and that’s good stuff. And, and you know, some of it I agree with, some of it I think is perhaps overstated, but for me, I, I focus on the larger picture of building a relationship. You know, it’s, it’s, my success is not gonna be based on. What I say here, there, or the next time, but how I say it overall, how I come across.

Mm-hmm. You know, I have a firm belief that, uh, people wanna work with people they like and respect, and if you can be a likable, respectful person, you’re, you’re likely to, uh, elicit that, uh, from the other person. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Uh, one thing I read in Chris’s book, I was curious for your thought on, because I. So he, I’ll basically just read a little snippet from his book.

Uh, he’s, he wrote after the fatally disastrous seizures of Randy Weaver’s Ruby Ridge Farm in Idaho in 1982 and Koresh’s Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas in 1993. There was no denying that most hostage negotiations were anything but rational problem solving situations. I mean, have you ever tried to devise a mutually beneficial win-win solution with a guy who thinks he’s the messiah?

There was clearly a breakdown between the book’s. Brilliant Theory. He was talking about a popular negotiation book, getting to yes and a, a breakdown between that and everyday law enforcement experience. End quote. My understanding though, is that, um, he might be being a little bit too hard on the, the current thinking back then because my understanding is.

You know, for example, like if you had had your way, the Waco negotiation would’ve, an approach would’ve played out a lot different. And that it, you know, you, you had the tactics at that time and other people had the tactics, had time that time to handle such things. Uh, but I’m curious for your take on that.

Gary Noesner: Well, I, I think, uh, I don’t think Chris was criticizing negotiations. I was think, I think he was pointing out that in both those cases, the individuals we’re dealing with were, were. Extremely challenging people to, to deal with. You know, a funny note, I wasn’t at Ruby Ridge. I was out of the country when that happened.

But in reality, uh, uh, a tremendously challenging situation. I mean, there had been a, a Marshall killed, uh, Weaver’s son. Uh, and then, then when the FBI shows up, uh, they end up shooting Weaver and, uh, wounding his friend. I mean, uh, uh, wounding a friend of his and, and killing, uh, his wife, uh, not intentionally, but a shot.

Went through the door and killed her. Now. Despite that, and one could say really incredibly challenging situation to respond to that was negotiated out after eight days. I mean, the FBI was patient and brought in, uh, Bo Gritz to be an intermediary. So I, I would hardly characterize that as a failure of negotiations or not realizing.

And then again, as you mentioned. Moving forward a couple years to the Waco situation, a couple years after that, I, I would argue, and I think most, uh, analysts of the situation would agree that, uh, as negotiators we had the right approach. You know, we got 35 people out when I was there, including 21 children.

But, uh, you know, there was, uh, uh, a counterside within the FBI that wanted to apply more pressure, the paradox of power that we just spoke about earlier, and basically force them to come out. And of course. Because I was a resistant, uh, I was resistant to that approach. I was replaced halfway through and they went with a harder line.

Nobody else came out for the rest of the siege of, I was there for 26 to the 51 days. So I, I would say I’m, I’m not sure what Chris meant by that. I’m, I think he probably would be happy to expand on that, but I, but I think, um. You know, I, I, I don’t think either one of those incidents in any way, shape or form could be characterized as negotiation failure or lack of, uh, ability.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Reading it again, I think he was actually trying to say like there were these older things, ideas about purely logical, rational, uh, things like in the book getting to Yes. And I think he was mainly trying to criticize that, but it came, he, he, he might have just not worded it optimally, but yeah, I think he was mainly just trying to criticize that.

And not say that, you know, that that was the only approach taken at Waco or 

Gary Noesner: Rent here. Here’s another thing. I mean, business negotiation. There, there are some parallels and, um, similarities in business and crisis negotiations, but there’s also a whole world of, of differences, you know? And, and you have to keep that in mind.

So a lot of the books, the majority of the books out there are business oriented. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: And, and what works in that contest. You know, is, is not necessarily the model we would follow in, in a law enforcement crisis situation. 

Zach Elwood: Uh, when I was reading parts of your book, um, there, you write in your book about the importance of giving people your trust, like showing, uh, trust in them also.

And that made me think of, um, the, the movie, the House of Games about the con artists. There was a scene where they talk about the importance of, uh, you know, in, in cons. You, you know, co you giving people your confidence first. So they have a scene where he goes into a, uh, a cash, you know, a cash, uh, a check cashing place and basically gets in a conversation with somebody and says, oh, I’m waiting for money, you know, and starts get building rapport and then says, well, if my money gets here first, I’ll give you some and you can pay me back later.

And they, of course. You know, do something similar and say, oh, same, same for you. If my GI money gets here first, I’ll give you some, you can pay me back later. So then, uh, showing that, you know, it really does a lot to give people trust and make them feel trusted. And in your book, um, yeah, if you wanna talk about that Yeah.

Analogy. 

Gary Noesner: Well, again, uh, if you mention it’s, it’s the reciprocity is what it is. Yeah. Reciprocity, you know, it’s, it’s the same reason, you know, back in the. Seventies, the moonies would be at the airport and they’d give you a flower and ask for a donation. And because they gave you something, people were more likely to give them a donation based on the, well, you did something for me, now it’s my turn to do something for you.

And that’s exactly, uh, the scenario. You mentioned how a con can exploit that. You know, you grease the skids a little bit by. You know, incentivizing the person to, to, uh, to make a, make themselves a bigger mark for you. You know? But you have to be careful. When I was trained as a negotiator, originally, going back to the seventies, it was all about bargaining.

And the premise was never give something unless you get something in return. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: Now, in a pure quid pro quo bargaining situation, that has a lot of merit. However, and, and where I, I tried to make the shift in the business was. In a crisis intervention, um, a gesture of, uh, positive intent. It does not weaken your bargaining position.

And, and I always tell a story about, you know, a, a guy climbs up a a a TV tower and he’s gonna jump and he wants a cigarette, and the police don’t wanna give him a cigarette because, you know, some executive remembers, well, you never give something unless you get something back. And, you know, and you kinda had to explain to him, you know, I don’t think the man crawled up the tower today just to get a cigarette.

All you have to do is stand out. In front of a seven 11 and ask, and no more than two or three people go by than somebody. Yeah. What, 

Zach Elwood: what, what are you really losing by? Yeah. Doing 

Gary Noesner: that. Yeah, exactly. And that’s the point. But what, what you. Potentially could gain, you know, we’re somebody that may have had, uh, bad engagement with law enforcement in the past.

Now all of a sudden this police officers saying, yeah, no problem. I’ll get you a cigarette. I mean, it doesn’t weaken us. It doesn’t give anything away. And in fact, I would argue that it helps to build rapport. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But 

Gary Noesner: it’s a hard, it, it has been hard. I don’t know how it stands in the industry now.

I’ve been retired, but for a long time a lot of police negotiators resisted that because they remembered the old. Never give unless you get something back. You know what, the guys doesn’t have anything. He’s barricaded by himself or he is suicidal. What’s he, what’s he gonna give you, you know? Right. In that particular case, I said, okay, he’s up in the tower, what do you want him to do?

Pull an arm off and then throw it down to you. I mean, you know, you know, think about it. So. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The context is important. Yeah. Um, the, in, in the first story you tell in the book, it involved a. Very volatile situation with a man holding his wife and son hostage. And, uh, and, uh, it had been determined that, you know, an app, an aggressive approach was necessary that he, you know, this wasn’t gonna end well and he should just be killed.

So, uh, one of the parts of that story, uh, was you telling him a lie about giving him a helicopter, allowing him to leave, and you had to try to make him believe that. And one thing you did was to tell him, the helicopter pilot is my friend. You have to promise to not hurt him. And you mentioned that it helped sell your story because it was 

Gary Noesner: Yeah.

Zach Elwood: Real realistic that you might be worried. But it also struck me that getting back to the idea of like. Giving trust to someone is, is so important. Like he, he felt like not only was that a realistic de request that helped sell your story, he, he felt like, oh, trust has been put into me, therefore I’m more likely to show trust too.

Yeah, yeah. 

Gary Noesner: In that particular case before, before the, the helicopter portion of it, you know, we, I sent up some food. We sent up some clothes he had that he wanted, uh, that were downstairs. He was stuck upstairs with his. Ex, uh, common law wife and child. So I did a number of things to say, Hey, I’m not here to make your day worse and, and try to minimize the seriousness of the situation.

So all those positive things. Now while we ended up, I ended up setting him up for a tactical resolution. It didn’t mean I ever, at any time gave up on the opposite. So it, you run a parallel track. It’s not like, it’s not black and white. Well, we were trying to save him now, and now we’re gonna set him up to die.

I mean, you’re constantly trying to give him opportunities mm-hmm. To do the right thing. Um, and, and that’s how it worked. In that case, it was unfortunate. We don’t like to, to, I certainly am not keen about taking anyone’s life and, and I don’t think most police officers are and but to save a woman and child sometimes, uh.

Real tough and difficult decisions have to be made. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. And I like the fact that you started the book out with that showing that, you know, there there are those, you know, sometimes you got, you have to draw a very firm line and that, you know, that doesn’t take away from the fact that your other points about, you know, building more rapport in, taking less aggressive approaches are, are just as valid depending on the, yeah.

Depending on the context, but 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Um, so I wanted to pivot to behavior related topics. One focus of this podcast. Has been examining, uh, behavior related topics, body language, facial expressions, uh, in, in how those apply and can be used in various real world endeavors. And we sometimes hear claims that body language plays a big role in law enforcement and interrogations, such that can come from alleged experts in behavior, who’ve worked in law enforcement.

They can come from fictional movies, TV shows like Lie to Me. It can come from people who are. Just straight up con artists, like some people that I’ve examined on this podcast. Uh, so there, there can be, I think it can be hard to get a sense for people like me who are outside of law enforcement or uh, military or these kinds of context to get a sense of how reading body language actually plays a role in high stakes scenarios, like the kind you’re so experiencing.

So I’m curious for your take. About the realm of, of body language and behavior? Um, maybe how, how big a role you see it playing in your work or in law enforcement in general, and maybe how big of a role it takes in, uh, you know, law enforcement training and such. 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. I mean, overall today in the training, I’m not sure how much emphasis they put on it, but I have viewed it, have viewed it, always have viewed it as just one of the tools in the toolbox.

You and I are assessing each other’s facial and body language right here. More so facial than body ’cause we’re just seeing from the chest up. But. We sort of innately do that as human beings. You know, it, it goes back to, you know, the dawn of time where we’re trying to assess is this friend or foe? Does this person present, uh, a risk to me or is this somebody I can trust and, and engage with and cooperate with so that we have some of those abilities when I used to, uh, teach people about over traveling overseas and avoiding kidnaps.

I said, trust your instincts. If you see a situation ahead of you, it just doesn’t look right. It doesn’t feel right. Pay attention to your, your instincts, and that speaks to that issue. Now getting back to the body language thing, I mean, I think there’s probably some folks that are just incredibly good at it, but I don’t recall an investigation that I worked in my 30 years that it played any significant role in.

Whatsoever. It, it just, um, you know, it’s like Freud used to say, uh, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. I mean, I think you have to be really careful. I mean, on the cover of my, the jacket of my book, uh, the day they took the photograph for that, it was very cold, and I just had a shirts shirt on, and I had my arms tuck like this, and my hands were under my armpits.

I normally don’t stand that way, but my hands were cold. So later somebody wrote me, oh, it’s a very defensive position. You were. And I said, well, I don’t know. Maybe I was, but I think I was primarily just cold, you know? Right. And, and that would be my example. You just, you have to be careful of drawing too much inference, you know, um, in the, uh, in the eighties particularly.

Law enforcement negotiators began to really cozy up with the mental health field, mental health professionals, and more and more police negotiation teams would work with a mental health, uh, consultant. And before you know it, we had police officers who were feeling like they were junior psychologists, you know, well, that’s a paranoid schizophrenic, or, this guy’s a manic depressive, he’s this, he’s that.

And you know, and I used to say, be careful because number one. Your diagnosis may not be correct, and number two, if you pigeonhole this person as being a particular uh, diagnosis, now you are gonna be dealing with them as though. He behaves like every other paranoid schizophrenic. And guess what? They don’t, they don’t all behave the same.

They might have some common features that, that help, uh, uh, achieve the diagnosis, but to say everyone can be reliably expected to do this and to do that and respond this way. I mean, I certainly wouldn’t put any money on that. And, and I think that that becomes very dangerous. So I think, you know, obviously people are selling books and they’re talking about, they can predict this, and they can predict that.

Okay. That’s all well and good. I, I just, um, I go with a more basic, you know, through, through my career. I, I feel as though I, I could read people fairly well. Was I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Um, but generally speaking. You know, you could get a good sense of, in an interrogation or an interview, this person’s lying or just, just they’re holding something back.

You know, I viewed it as more instinctual and experiential than, than, you know, than, than a, a real hard and fast. Okay? He’s ticked off these five things. He, he touched his nose on the left side and, you know, he’d wiggle his ear. And that means this, and that means that, uh, I don’t have that. Do that. And I, I, I kind of doubt that many do if anyone.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Um, I imagine, uh, well obviously in, in, uh, hostage and standoff negotiation situations, the audio elements is much more important than seeing them, I would imagine, because you’re doing a lot. Talking. I’m curious if, uh, if you have anything much to say about either reading the tones and, and, uh, you know, emotions in people’s voices or else you know, that the separate subject of, you know, obviously it’s good to have a calm speaking voice and do a good presentation and delivery when you’re doing that kind of work, but I’m curious if you have anything to say about the, the audio element of, of that work.

Gary Noesner: Yeah. Obviously. Yeah. In historical negotiations where we’re on the telephone, um. We are denied. Uh, the, the facial, uh, gestures were, uh, denied access to the body language, you know, except in rare situations there’s some face-to-face negotiations. We generally negotiate over a phone because it’s safer. You know, it’s, it’s, it’s a safety issue, but I think there, there’s a side benefit to it, and that is it kind of taught us to learn to listen more carefully.

Uh, to the one thing we had to go, you know, I used to hear things like, uh, you know, somebody was blind, has, uh, better hearing. Right. And, and I think to some extent, uh, whether that’s true or not, I mean, I don’t have personal experience there, but, but I think to some extent, negotiators are, are forced to really focus on what’s being said.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: Be more so than we were if we’re being flooded with a, a wider range of, of, uh. Inputs from that person. 

Zach Elwood: Right. It really helps focus your attention on the content, the word, the, the specific words are being said. Yeah. All these things. Yeah. Yeah, 

Gary Noesner: I think so. Yeah. 

Zach Elwood: Was, uh, was it part of your work or, or a natural part of your work to work on your delivery of, of your tone or, or was that not a big deal in your career?

Gary Noesner: I think I. Uh, obviously, I mean, like anyone else, I’ve, I’ve improved through the years and I’m sure when I retired I was a much better negotiator than, than, than when I started. But I, I think I tended, uh, me personally to, to talk more than I should have, uh, in, in the early days. And then you learn, you know, you, you gotta be a better listener than a talker.

If I’m talking, I’m not learning anything about him. I mean, there’s a time and a place where you have to use some self-disclosure and, and kinda share with that person what you’re thinking, but you kind of have to earn the right for that. You know, I created the behavioral change stairway model that I don’t know if you’re familiar with, but it’s a, it’s widely used across the world for negotiations, and it’s a stairway and it, and it basically says we use active listening, you know, to, um, you know, to to, to create a relationship.

Of, of trust that leads to inner influence and then cooperation. You know, we build some rapport and that can take time going back to our earlier theme, but the process, you don’t just automatically show up and say, Hey, I’m Gary Nester. I’m the chief negotiator of the FBI do what I want. I mean, I have to earn the right to be of influence.

I have to demonstrate. Through repeating in my own words, paraphrasing what the person said, I have to label their emotions, how they feel about what they’re going through. Um, you know, I have to, again, earn the right to be of influence. And you, you see this happening, Zach, because what’ll somebody will say like, you know, Gary, I, I just dunno how to get out of this.

Well, to me that’s when I hear something like that, you know, it shows that I have now. Uh, gotten to a certain level where now this person’s even soliciting my input, you know, and I might respond a little bit, uh, carefully and say something like, well, you know, I, I do know that hurting somebody is, is not gonna make this any better.

I think we can both agree with that. So it’s, it’s just, um, it’s just the process. Negotiations aren’t typically resolved because you come up with a brilliant argument. You, you, you know, in fact, the favorite thing, I, I teach classes. I start off almost every class is through all the years I did this, we typically would ask a perpetrator when they surrendered, what was it that we said that made you come out?

Because we wanna learn and replicate.

Zach Elwood: Good question.  

Gary Noesner: But you’d be shocked that the answer was almost always the same and, and it’s really an amazing thing when you think about it. The answer is, I don’t remember what you said, but I like the way you said it. Now you think about that. That is. So powerful.

You know, and I’ve, I’ve seen, you know, various, uh, you know, uh, representations by people that shows that a very significant part of our communication process. You know, you talked about body language before, but a lot of it is, is tone and demeanor. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: You know, how we sound, you know, and, um, you know, and that’s, that’s an important thing.

You know, I, um, I have, um, I have a friend that, uh, you know, his wife used to have these big arguments with, with. With their teenage daughter, you know, and, and, and he said, you know, she says all the right things. Uh, everything she says is makes sense. It’s, it’s absolutely right, but it’s, but she’s not saying it the right way, you know, you know, and you stop to think about it, you know how you present something.

You know, I used to, uh, when I was consulting after the FBI. Teach workplace violence and how we avoid it. And when these companies, these corporations are downsizing, how you go to Zack and say, Zack, I’m sorry. We have to let you go. It could be a world of difference whether Zack is unhappy, but. You know, resigned to the situation versus Zach’s gonna come back in with a gun and, and let you know how unhappy it is, you know?

And part of that is, you know, you, you explain to them what’s happening. You explain what their benefits are. You, you are empathic about, I’m sorry this happened. It’s a, you know, a corporate decision. Um, we resist it. There’s nothing we could do about it. We’re gonna help you write a resume. We’re gonna, you know, help you with job placement.

We’ve got counselors available. None of those things make you feel better about losing your job, but it, but it, it helps to soften the blow and make you a bit more accepting than you would be otherwise. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, it’s much more the, the, the way we communicate is much more important than I think most people tend to think.

Yeah. The how, um, and the, the framing around it. Um, yeah. Getting back to the, uh, the behavior thing, I, I want to say, I, I’m curious if you would agree with this. This is so, because I work on, uh, poker tells, uh, because I used to play poker for a living and wrote some books on. Poker tells, which by the way, I see applications of behavior as very different in game scenarios versus non-game real world scenarios.

Um, and, and because I have this, also because I have this podcast that’s focused on behavior, I often get people asking for my take on, oh, I wanna learn how to read people better. I wanna learn how to read body language or, uh, you know, uh, nonverbal things, facial expressions. And my answer is, you know, for real world non-game scenarios, I tend to say I think that’s a waste of time.

I think you’d be much better off thinking about the deductions you can make from what people say and what they avoid saying, and all of these kinds of things, the actual content, logical deductions around the content. I think it’s a big waste of time to focus on the behavior because I think that’s so much, so ambiguous and it’s very hard to get any meaningful, uh.

Uh, clues, you know, so I’m, but I’m curious if you’d agree with me there. 

Gary Noesner: Absolutely. And the other thing is the advantage perhaps that we have versus what you were doing as, as a poker player, we can say, you know, Zach, you just said something and I, I wanna make sure I understand. Could you explain that to me further, 

Zach Elwood: right.

Gary Noesner: That you said so and so what, can you tell me what you meant by that? That, that’s a powerful tool we have. Um, you know 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. That, that has no, that has no very little analogy to, to poker in games and sports in general. 

Gary Noesner: Yeah. Oh, exactly right. Yeah, exactly right. But, but, you know, we’re, we’re showing a curiosity.

We’re showing an interest. We wanna learn more. And, you know, and that’s why I think one of the most powerful tools is paraphrasing when you said something perhaps in the context of crisis. That’s, that’s, you know, worrisome. I might, I might ask you. More about that, you know, and, um, you know, I, I don’t understand.

And, and, and if I might say, you know, it sounds like you, you really wanna hurt your wife, you know, and you may say, um, no, I just wanna teach her a lesson. Well. That’s important for me to know. I mean, you know, uh, and, and, and it’s okay to ask those questions even if they’re unpleasant questions, you know?

Now, you know, we don’t repeat when somebody says, I wanna kill her, so, you know, you still want to kill her. You know, we’ve been talking for an hour and now we, we, we wouldn’t bring up bad things that have in the rear view mirror now. But yeah, I think, I think that is an advantage we have if we don’t understand, ask.

Uh, generally they’ll fill in the, the gaps for us and give us a more complete picture of what’s going on in their lives, how they feel, what their plans are, you know, and that’s all good stuff. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah, and I could, I could go on for a while about the differences, but I see between game slash sport sports scenarios and non-game scenarios, because in games you have like.

Granular, discrete actions you’re trying to take that has no application or no, no analogy to real world non-game situations. And you have like polarized spots where you might be bluffing or non bluffing, which I don’t think has any direct correlation to like an interrogation room. Right. So I think that there’s many of these things that make it a very different scenario.

That and the main thing being. In like interrogation or interview settings, uh, it’s just so hard to determine what somebody is anxious about. Right? So, so many of these things get down to anxiety, but there’s just so many reasons. Somebody could be anxious for a multitude of reasons, which makes it really hard to get any meaningful deductions about, oh, they did this, which means anxiety and, you know.

Gary Noesner: Right. That’s 

Zach Elwood: great. Yeah. 

Gary Noesner: The only thing you can control and fully understand are your own actions. You know, I mean that that’s, I was always confident in success in the negotiation. Not, not because I was always successful, but because I knew I would be in absolute control of what I was trying to do, and that I would be able to convey that I wanted the situation to come out favorably for everyone I wanted to help.

I wasn’t there to make it worse. I wasn’t there to condemn them. I was there to help resolve the crisis, you know, and that’s gonna work, uh, uh, an incredibly, uh, high percentage of the time. But I go back to probably the most problematic area for police negotiators is suicides. And, and, and you know, I used to tell when training negotiators, listen, if you respond to enough of them, you know somebody’s gonna kill themselves.

And, and it’s not because you failed, you weren’t empathic enough, you, you didn’t. Do all the things you need to. So don’t take ownership of this. You don’t control that person. You can try to influence ’em. And usually we’re successful in being a positive influence, but we’re not a hundred percent. And anybody in the, and it applies to business world, to anybody in any negotiation, and it can tell you, I can guarantee a certain outcome.

You know, I, I kind of discount that sort of absolutism because I just, I just don’t see it in the real world. I mean, you know, you’re gonna, when even when I was consulting, you know, I did real well with, uh, generating business for the company I worked for, but not a hundred percent of the time. You know, and, and it may be because there’s factors you don’t even see the person you’re dealing with, you know, you’ve got a great relationship with, but they’ve gotta report to somebody that maybe has already made a decision and they’re just.

They’re just talking to you because they wanna get three bidders under, under their belt. And they can say, we, we, we, we, we talked to three different companies, but they’ve already decided they’re going with company A. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: You know, and your company B or company C. Yeah. You 

Zach Elwood: don’t know all the fact, you can’t know all the factors.

Yeah, yeah, 

Gary Noesner: yeah. You, you just don’t know. All you can do is again, control yourself and b, the best you can. And, uh, you know, and, and hopefully it’ll come through. And the other thing I used to tell people, you know, particularly in the business context, don’t burn a bridge because. You know, you are giving them a good opportunity and a good deal and they didn’t take it.

Don’t say, well screw you. You know, you, you gotta say, listen, I’m sorry. Uh, it didn’t work out this time. Uh, it’s been my experience that sometimes when someone goes with the lowest bidder, they don’t necessarily get the product they want. If you find down the road that, um, you know, you’re not really satisfied with the direction you went, and I hope you’ll think to call us back and maybe we can try to see if we can come together and make this happen in the future, that’s fine.

You know, it’s okay. It’s not a big loss. Like, you know, it’s not that. It’s, it’s not the end of the world, you know? Mm-hmm. We used to say you should care, but not that much. 

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It’s good to protect your own, I mean, when doing such high stakes Sure. Uh, situations. It’s good to protect your own mental health and, and have realistic expectations about what’s, 

Gary Noesner: what’s possible going to the suicide area.

I mean, I know a lot of negotiators who’ve been. Almost, uh, become dysfunctional is negotiating anymore because of a suicide, you know? Mm-hmm. And suicide is always, not always some bad old bank robber. I mean, it could be a nice grandma, it could be a, a, a, a teenage girl jumping from a bridge ’cause she didn’t get a date to the prom.

I mean, it could be a lot of things. And, and, you know, and, and when we’re not successful, we can take it real hard, you know, we can take it real hard. Mm-hmm. 

Zach Elwood: I was curious if you had, say you only had a few hours to train somebody up, say for whatever reason, some person off the street, you were gonna train them for like four to eight, four to eight hours on, uh, dealing with an intense, uh, standoff situation with somebody who was emotionally unstable and such, uh, what would be the main, you know, one or two, three principles you’d focus on educating them on, would you say?

Gary Noesner: Well, we mentioned one, and that’s the self-control. And you know, I, I lived a lot of my career by the Serenity Prayer. You know, knowing what you can do and what you can’t do and understanding the difference. I think that’s a vital, I think that’s a vital thing to embrace and appreciate. I’m gonna come to the situation not of my creation, and I’m gonna do everything I can to help it, uh, end in the way I’d like it to, but I don’t control it.

And, and if it doesn’t end the way I would like. I’m not gonna own it. It’s not because I screwed up. You know, I used to tell people nobody can make a verbal mistake. And somebody says, oh, okay, now I’m gonna kill myself. ’cause Zach said the wrong word. That just doesn’t happen that way. So, self-control would be a big part of it.

The other part is, you know, really, really focus on not what you wanna say, but what they’re saying, and think about how you’re gonna feed back to them through a paraphrase, a summary of, of what you are hearing from them. Not only what you’re hearing, but how they’re responding to that emotionally. You know, there’s, there’s a whole bunch of, we teach seven or eight, uh, active listening skills in the FBI, but I think the two most important are paraphrasing and emotion labeling.

So you do those two things and you’re gonna come across as an engaging, empathic, caring person. Think about your voice, think about being likable, you know, don’t respond to a verbal attacks. Um, you know. You could do pretty good. I, and there’s, there’s people, frankly, Zach, who are naturally good at this and probably would succeed in the tense negotiations without any training.

Zach Elwood: Mm-hmm. 

Gary Noesner: And then there’s other people that, for whatever reason, they’re just never gonna be competent. They’d 

Zach Elwood: ramp it up. Yeah. They’d ramp 

Gary Noesner: it up. It’s, it’s never gonna work out for them. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. 

Gary Noesner: But I would say that probably, you know, on the bell curve, the, the majority of us in the middle. If we think, uh, carefully, we work with team support and we take our time, we’re, we’re gonna be successful more often than not, and we’re gonna benefit from that kind of negotiation training.

So, yeah. I like to think, keep things simple. You can load people up with too much information and, um, they get analysis paralysis. 

Zach Elwood: Right. And they get frozen. Yeah. Uh, 

Gary Noesner: and they get frozen. 

Zach Elwood: Yeah. Oh, this has been great, Gary. I, I thought it was a great talk. Do you wanna share any other last tidbits of thoughts about anything we touched on or anything you’re working on these days?

Gary Noesner: No, I just, um. You know, I, I, I just think, uh, the things I’m working on now, I’m, I’ve started another book. I’m not sure if I’ll finish it, but it, it’s about negotiating with yourself. You know, get, get right with yourself about what is it you’re trying to do and why you’re trying to do it. And don’t be so hard on yourself.

I mean, people are what the number one fear is fear of public speaking or something like that. You know, just get out there and do it. Don’t worry about it. Of course, you’ll make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. It’s all right. But overall, you, you should be comfortable in saying, you know, I’m not a perfect person.

Guess what? No one else is either. I can’t throw a football like Tom Brady, but I can do some things. Maybe he can’t, you know, I can’t, uh, sing like, uh, you know, uh, Beyonce, but, you know, okay, I can do some other things, you know, so don’t hold yourself up to some unrealistic, uh, example of, of which we do in society because of, you know, all, all the mass media.

But just focus on being a good, likable person. And guess what? There are people that won’t like you. Okay? There’ll be people that disagree with you. Um, okay, fine. That’s, that’s the way it is. But I’m a good person and I’m confident. I’m happy, you know, whatever. I think those are good life lessons for everyone.

Zach Elwood: Well, I do think you have a lot of great lessons that apply to so many areas. I mean, they, they apply to conflict and so much of life is about conflict, whether it’s external conflict or conflict. Within ourselves. So I think, I think you do have lots of great wisdom to share on so many, uh, on so many fronts.

Yeah. So really appreciate talking to you. 

Gary Noesner: Okay, Zach, it’s a pleasure to speak with you today. 

Zach: That was a talk with retired FBI hostage negotiator Gary Noesner, author of Stalling for Time. His website is at garynoesner.com

I’m Zach Elwood and this has been the People Who Read People podcast. Learn more about this podcast at behavior-podcast.com. Send me a message with any interesting stories you have about reading people, whether that’s interpreting something they’ve said or something they’ve done in some practically useful way.

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The psychology of “Bad Vegan”: Sarma Melngailis on narcissistic manipulation methods, and the pain she lives with

The documentary “Bad Vegan” was about Sarma Melngailis’s nightmarish journey from successful New York City restaurant owner to Rikers inmate jailed for stealing millions. How did this happen? Sarma was the victim of a narcissistic con man named Anthony Strangis, who manipulated her into believing (or semi-believing) a number of wild, delusional ideas (like that he might be a non-human being with immense, other-worldly powers). He used this strange hold over her to persuade her to give him large amounts of money (much of which he blew at casinos).

I talk to Sarma about her experiences. We talk about: what led to her being so emotionally vulnerable that someone like Strangis could manipulate her; the factors that can lead someone to believe things that most people see as clearly ridiculous lies; why she dislikes the “Bad Vegan” documentary maker for his editing choices; the huge emotional challenge of trying to rebuild and stay positive after such nightmarish, debilitating events; her new book “The Girl With the Duck Tattoo.”

Episode links:

TRANSCRIPT

(Transcripts are automatic and will contain errors!)

Sarma Melngailis: “Once he got money out of me, which initially was, oh, let me just borrow this money for this crazy emergency, I’ll pay you right back. Once he got that initial chunk of money out of me, then he is got a hook in me. Right. Because I’m always gonna want it back.

So I, I had resolved, I’m not gonna see this guy again. Like he, this is not right. Something’s, you know, not right. He was able to get back in because he’d say, oh, I’m gonna bring you that money back. I got it and cash, I’m gonna –

Zach Elwood: It creates a tie to him.

Sarma: Right. And then he would do his mind sorcery on me and somehow he would maybe give me back some money, but then he’d get more money out of me. And then I’m in deeper and then you’re in deeper. And then it becomes, you know, they get you in a situation, you’re more and more and more compromised and the loss is bigger and bigger and bigger.

“There are people who, if you let them into your life, are capable of targeted and elaborately thought-out cruelty — the kind we’d like to think happens only in psychological horror films. These people are real, and they are out there in droves. They will study you, figure out your worst-case scenario, and turn it into a plan for a nightmare specifically tailored to you. They will then go to great lengths to make this nightmare your reality.
In the end, it will often appear to have been your fault. The wreckage will be yours alone to repair, while they slip away to find their next target.”

That was from the introduction of The Girl with the Duck Tattoo, a memoir by Sarma Melngailis. You may be familiar with her story, because it was the subject of a popular documentary titled Bad Vegan.

Here’s my copy of the book (if you’re watching this on Youtube, you can see it anyway). I recently moved to New York City so I was able to meet up with Sarma and get a signed copy. She wrote to me “To Zach, with you in exposing con artists, scammers, sociopaths.” I appreciate that, Sarma.

If you didn’t see the Bad Vegan movie or otherwise don’t know Sarma’s story, I’ll read from a Netflix article Olivia Harrison that summarized the quite wild and weird events the movie covered:

“The new docuseries “Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitives.” tells the story of Melngailis and the rise and fall of her raw food restaurant, NYC’s Pure Food and Wine. A big part of the narrative is the relationship Melngailis had with Anthony Strangis, a man she met online who told her that he could, among other things, make her precious pup, Leon, immortal.
In the series, Sarma recounts that when she first met Strangis, he quickly recognized how special Leon was to her and realized he could use this attachment to his advantage. Sarma says that this meant that Strangis gradually convinced her that he was not, in fact, a human, but rather existed in an eternal, ethereal realm that could eventually become their shared “happily ever after,” and that Leon could come, too.
According to Sarma’s journal entries from that time, Strangis didn’t just promise immortality to Leon, he also promised her a stake in the power, influence and wealth he had gained as a result of passing all the tests he took to become a higher being. All Sarma needed to do in order to share in the bounty was wire him money to prove her loyalty both to him and the others — “the family” — who could turn Leon immortal.
The kind of intense, psychologically damaging relationship that Melngailis and Strangis had can lead people to believe things that sound, frankly, unbelievable. According to Sarma, this means that she believed her life — and Leon’s — would be in danger if she didn’t send Strangis money. If Sarma didn’t prove herself to Strangis, she stood to lose everything. If she did? She would ascend to what Strangis promised was her fated role as queen, where she’d be accompanied by her beloved dog, forever by her side. Although all this might sound like the most transparent lie in the world to many of us (no matter how much we want our pets to live for decades and decades), in the words of Seinfeld’s George Costanza, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
End quote

Sarma’s story ended with her being arrested, wracking up millions in debt, her restaurant closing, and her being sued by investors. Her mother was also exploited by Anthony Strangis; her mother ended up having sent $400,000 to Strangis before it was all over.

There was also a big media sensation, which was amplified by the fact that Strangis and her were arrested due to him ordering a pizza. A lot of the media buzz was about a vegan being caught by ordering a non-vegan pizza. But this was false clickbait; Sarma hadn’t ordered or eaten the pizza. Strangis and her were staying in separate rooms and ordered food separately. This is just to say that many people, in the media and just in the general public, reacted in rather mean, unfeeling ways about the story; that is something we will talk about.

Personally, I think it’s quite clear that Sarma was manipulated and going through some very tough times emotionally at that time, which made her vulnerable to exploitation. One point that makes that pretty clear is that she got absolutely nothing out of the money that was stolen; she attained no benefit, there seemed to be no end goal for her; at the end she just seemed to be emotionally burned out and tagging along with Strangis as he roamed the countryside staying in hotels. Sarma was hardly doing anything, while Anthony Strangis, aka Anthony Knight, burned through an amazing amount of money at various casinos, and buying lavish items. He was quite clearly the manipulative pathological liar, and to me, she was quite clearly the one being manipulated. I think watching the documentary makes that pretty clear, too, even as I also think the movie was quite irresponsible and unethical in some areas (something Sarma and I will talk about).

If you’re someone who feels for Sarma’s story, you could show her some support by buying her book and leaving it a review on Amazon. It’s also just a very interesting read, and I do respect Sarma for her transparency and bravery in sharing a story that many people would rather just forget and never want to talk about. I agree with her that it helps to share such things; it may help other people avoid being taken in by narcissistic abuse and toxic con men. The truth is there are a lot of twisted, toxic people around us, even as few of them rise to the extreme level of delusion and manipulation as Anthony Strangis, aka Anthony Knight.

In this interview, Sarma and I discuss: the psychological and emotional issues that led to her vulnerability; we talk about how it is that people can go down such delusional and unwell paths, even as it can seem so obvious from the outside that they are embracing completely crazy and absurd beliefs; we talk about her beef with the Bad Vegan documentary, and why she sees the director as having made some unethical choices; we talk about the difficulty of carrying on with life now now, living with the fact that she has hurt a lot of people, including people close to her, and that she owes an absurd lot of money.

Okay here’s the talk with Sarma Melngailis…

Zach: Hi Sarma. Thanks for joining me.

Sarma: Hi. Really, it’s good to be here.

Zach: Yeah. Thanks for doing this. I know, uh, like we’ve talked about, I know it’s probably hard to talk about, uh, such hard things that have happened to you, so I really appreciate you taking the time and being willing to do that and uh, yeah.

Thanks.

Sarma: Well, this feels easy ’cause I’ve been doing a lot of podcasts, um, for my book lately, but we’ve, um, we’ve spoken before and corresponded a bunch back and forth, so it feels kind of like, I mean, I do, I already know you, so this is easy and fun.

Zach: Yeah. And this is pretty, um, you know, low rent podcasts, so not much pressure, uh, to perform for my small audience.

So that must be a easier, easier feeling to

Sarma: No, I bet. I bet you have. I, I bet you have a, um, I bet you have a very smart audience, which I like. Well,

Zach: thank you th thank you for that. Um, okay, so yeah, maybe we could start with, uh, how we, how we got into contact. Yeah. And, um, I, [00:08:00] I could, yeah, you basically, uh, people who listen to my podcast know I’ve done some work on Chase Hughes, this guy who, um, has.

You know, as a sort of a, a guru of behavior and influence and manipulation. But, um, yeah, that’s how, that’s how you got in contact with me.

Sarma: And I, I was fascinated with Chase Hughes initially, uh, after hearing him on the diary of a CEO podcast and as, as one would logically assume that they had done vetting and whatnot.

But I, I was intrigued because, you know, as you know, there’s a lot of conversation online about how to influence people. Um, and of course without them knowing that that’s what you’re doing, that’s the whole point. And all of this behavior analysis, and I find it fascinating in the context of my own story and what happened to me, which involves this colossal manipulation, which very few people understand because they think, you know, you’re reasonably intelligent.

You went to a good school, worked on Wall Street, yada, yada, how [00:09:00] could you be, be. You know, air quotes brainwashed by some guy, or how could you have believed him? So I’m very fascinated in that whole field of, you know, mind control and mind manipulation and the tactics that are used. And I was interested in him potentially.

Being somebody to comment on a, a new docuseries that I’m working on. And so I started, uh, and actually I was about to reach out to him, but I started doing some digging and I came across your YouTube videos and then went, you know, I watched them all in their entirety. I forget you made some joke that made me like, spit out my beverage laugh.

Zach: Oh, was it the inner circle? Um, you know, his inner circle one about? I think

Sarma: so. I think, I think a butthole was involved in the joke, which of course is gonna make me laugh.

Zach: Yeah. That was a, yeah. Now I have to explain that. Now that I said it, it was, it was, it was about his inner circle of people, but it was in, it was in relation to him, uh, recommending people put, uh, melatonin suppositories, you know, [00:10:00] in their butt.

So that was right there, there was, it made sense either way. You had to be there.

Sarma: Yeah, exactly. Whatever it was, it like made me spit my beverage, which I appreciated. And, um, um, I, I just, I appreciated that you did such a deep dive and did all this really thorough work on that, because what’s fascinating about that situation is that, and this is very common, it happens with cult leaders too, where they almost tell you what they’re doing and then they’re doing the thing right to you at the same time.

Zach: Right.

Sarma: And so then you never suspect that he’s doing it to you because he is teaching you about it. Mm-hmm.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Right. It just, it’s like, oh, it’s weird. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I, I think I recall you did, in one of those videos, you, there was some really good explanation about how people go to. You know, these sort of, um, [00:11:00] you know, when people, I, I don’t know why I’m blanking on like what the word is, these events, right?

Where these people sell tickets to events, maybe transformational,

Zach: experiential, Tony Robbins.

Sarma: Yeah. And, and that people go and they come away and they feel like their life has changed. But there’s something psychological going on where it’s very easy to sort of convince yourself that you feel changed.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Because that’s what you would, I don’t know. Anyway, I I really appreciated all of that, um, insight. Yeah. That was the,

Zach: uh, that was the video about the NLP neurolinguistic programming element to Chase, which a lot of these people in these spaces have this NLP background, and it ties into the Tony Robbins seminars and the long multi-day seminars.

And, you know, speaking of that stuff, you know, I think the, as you and I have talked about, the, the good thing about, um, if there’s any good thing to come out of your experience, it’s, uh, being able to try to educate people about, you know, these kinds of manipulations, especially people that. May be, you know, to, to people who may be especially vulnerable and, you know, just [00:12:00] drawing more attention to this kind of like weird delusional narcissistic abuse type scenarios, which are a lot more common than people know.

You know, until you run across people, you know, until you experience or, or know people that experience these kind of things, you don’t really realize how common these kinds of things are. Right.

Sarma: And, and most people aren’t talking about it either because most people are, you know, humiliated. If, if I hadn’t been the, the subject of tabloid articles and then a whole big Netflix special, it’s not like if I met somebody at a party, I would blurt out that like, by the way, I was taken advantage of by this.

Mm-hmm. You know, big slob of a con artist and

Zach: mm-hmm. You

Sarma: know, he made me believe crazy things. Like, you wouldn’t go around saying that. It’s, it’s humiliating. And I’ve heard from, I mean, I, I’ve heard from tons and tons of women who have PhDs, even in clinical psychology, and they’ve been completely manipulated.

And I’ve heard from a lot of men too, who tragically tell me, I’ve, I’ve heard this a number of times, where they tell me that [00:13:00] you’re, you know, aside from the, the people immediately involved, he’s like, you’re the first person I’ve told. You know, they don’t

Zach: mm-hmm.

Sarma: They just don’t talk about it at all because it’s completely humiliating and probably a, a sort of a different, sort of a layer on that for men to mm-hmm.

To be, have been manipulated. Um,

Zach: yeah, I think there’s, and there’s also the, uh. People are afraid of getting sued, like way overly afraid of getting sued too. So I also feel like there’s this element of people being afraid to talk about their experiences for that reason. They’re like, oh, that, you know, which is a, which is a legitimate fear.

’cause some of the same kind of narcissistic people will like do litigation abuse, you know, even at a, even at a self-destructive level where you’re like, you know, so that is a legitimate fear. But I, I think there’s multiple levels why people are, you know, afraid to talk about this stuff. So we don’t get a sense of just how common this kind of stuff is.

Yeah.

Sarma: And, and that it, it happens to very bright people who’ve usually accomplished a lot. And, um, [00:14:00] yeah, it’s, it’s more common than people realize.

Zach: Yeah. I’ve been listening to, um, this podcast, uh, out of crazy Town, about, um, basically people going through, um. Narcissistic, you know, uh, post-separation abuse, you know, post-divorce kind of abuse, and some really interesting stories on there.

Um, yeah, I was gonna say, uh, I, I was gonna switch topics and ask you about, you know, your, your, uh, your book. You just got your, your book out and wanted to say, uh oh. Yeah. And I’ve got it right here for people watching on nice video. The Girl with the, the duck tattoo. Does it, does it feel good? Oh, you have one too.

What a, what a coincidence. No, just kidding. Right? Imagine that. Um, thank, and thank you for that book, by the way. Um, and I was just gonna ask how does it feel good to be done? I, I know how, you know, daunting and, and tiring it is to get a book out there, but especially for your, you know, very personal and, um.

Hard to share things. I imagine it was even more, uh, exhausting.

Sarma: Yeah, it, it feels, I mean, it feels really good. It felt really [00:15:00] good when I, you know, finishing the draft finally. ’cause it it something that I worked on for years and somehow just going over the draft and the proofing and the copy editing and again and again was, it was grueling because the story is kind of harrowing and reliving it is gut wrenching.

Um, but I mean, the, the first half of the book is more fun. You know, I have more fun stories. There’s a chapter about, you know, getting to know Alec Baldwin. There’s chapters about opening the restaurant and growing the business that ultimately was destroyed. But, um, the first half was, was a lot more fun to write.

And, uh, you know, and the second half really takes you through what happened, I think in a very. Uh, you know, because I, I was able to recover a lot of our digital conversations as well as a journal of mine was recovered. So I incorporate a lot of that material and along the [00:16:00] way I am reflecting and analyzing throughout the book and the comment that I get most often from people that really, like, I can’t hear it enough, I love it, is people tell me all the time.

Uh, you know, like, oh, I started reading it and I can’t put it down. Oh my God, I can’t put it down. It’s, I love hearing that and mm-hmm. Also, ’cause it’s a long book, so, but it, the, the chapters are short and it moves quickly and I think it’s easy to read. ’cause I, you know, I tried to keep it moving and, um, and I, as you know, in the beginning I jumped back and forth a bit in time.

So in the opening scene, I’m throwing up a small town, Tennessee jail, having just been arrested and, you know, and then I get extradited to New York, to Rikers and then I, you know, would jump immediately back to sort of the height of the glamorous time at the restaurant and my life and knowing, meeting all these people and mm-hmm.

So I go back and forth. So it kind of keeps it keeps it moving.

Zach: Yeah. That, as somebody who recently moved to New York City, it’s been [00:17:00] interesting reading your book for that reason too. Just seeing some of the New York, you know, era, uh, area stories. I, it’s

Sarma: always fun to read a, a book about any place that you’re very familiar with.

So it’s. I enjoy, like if I give, if given two options of books, novels, or memoirs to read, I’d rather read one that takes place in New York versus one that takes place in say, Chicago, where I’ve, I’ve never spent any time.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. The, uh, the book is, is very interesting. And, um, yeah, I was gonna say, uh, oh, let’s, let’s talk about, uh, sorry, I’m jumping from topic to topic.

Sure. I wanted to ask you about, uh, your major, uh, a lot, a lot of people watching this may have seen the Bad Vegan, uh, documentary. Maybe we can touch briefly on what your major grievance with that documentary was. I know you’ve written a very good, uh, blog post. You had written a very good blog post about your grievance with the documentary, which I found very, uh, persuasive.

You know, I, I think you, you make very good points. Maybe you could talk about the, uh, the thing that really bugged you, which is like the last bit of the documentary.

Sarma: Yeah. I mean, there were a couple of the, you know, there are things along the way that what, what the [00:19:00] director did. Was a sort of evil genius on his part because he, he manipulated the story and he edited things in a way where he kind of along the way has some plausible deniability.

Um, but, you know, there were some things in the middle where the way it was edited, it makes me look not good. Um, for example, when I talk about why I ended up marrying this guy, he kind of completely cuts out the story and makes it seem as if I married him for money when there was all this other stuff that happened in between and that wasn’t it at all.

And so that sort of is another thing that would get the viewer to go, oh, she married the guy for money, you know, so that, that’s sort of setting me up. Um, but the most egregious thing was at the end where they, uh, the series, if somebody hasn’t seen it, the series starts out with me on the phone with this guy, the, the guy who was my, my tormentor.

And I’m clearly. Playing a role. Shane Fox. Yes. Or that’s Mr.

Zach: Fox as we Right. His fake [00:20:00] name. But that’s how you refer to him, his fake name. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarma: And um, and, and then it shows me hanging up the phone, and then I say to the camera that I would never normally ever record somebody without their knowledge.

Um, and I think I say, but that motherfucker fuck him like so clearly, and hopefully it’s okay that I curse, but clearly I’m doing this to try in some way just to, it’s even if it’s in the small way to get back at him in some way. Right. And get, and get

Zach: him to admit something or say something incriminating or something.

And,

Sarma: and I’m of course being a very agreeable, accommodating person. I’m also trying to help the, the, the, you know, quote, documentary get material. And so I, I offered to make, you know, I, we discussed making phone calls. I said, yes, I’ll do it. And there are other phone calls that I made that weren’t on camera, but I was using an app, which the director gave me or told me what, how to use it.

I was using an app, um. To record it and from just a regular cell phone conversation. So I had [00:21:00] I think one or two calls like that, that I’d recorded for the series as well. And at the very end of the, the series, they air a segment of one of those calls, but they do in a way that makes it look like I was caught on a hot mic.

And they air in a very deceptive context. But then on, and then on top of that they moved my words around. So, you know, if he like, basically they take apart where I might have said the like yes somewhere else when I really said no. And they moved the yes over to replace where I said no. Oh

Zach: geez.

Sarma: Um, and I mean, it was bad enough just airing a phone call like that out of context because Yeah, out of context.

Yeah. They have me laughing and they’re not sitting there, there, there’s not something underneath it saying Samra was playing a role here to get, you know, this guy Anthony Strange just to say cuckoo stuff on the phone. Yeah. They air it and then people think that after everything that happened, I’m like joking around and laughing with this guy.

Yeah, no, totally. No, it’s,

Zach: it, it [00:22:00] struck me. I mean, so often when I watch documentaries, I mean, these are the kind of reasons I basically don’t trust any media. I see like a documentary because so often there’s some, they’re trying to create some exciting narrative and you could see the motivation for them to want to end on some kind of like mysterious note of like, is she still being controlled by him?

Does she still love him? You know, they, they wanted to end on this kind of note. I felt like. At the, at the, you know, leaving aside that context is, is hugely irresponsible for, to me, you know, and I thought that even watching it at the time, because I thought, oh, why would she be talking to him? She probably was like talking to him to get information for, you know, some sort of Right.

A lot Get ’em to get ’em to admit something or, you know, that was my thought at the time. And like, but I can see how a lot of people would just be like, oh, you know, the surface level that like, she still is having pleasant conversations with ’em and that’s really irresponsible to me.

Sarma: Well, I mean, but even worse is all the people.

And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard variations of this, you know, I was, I was, I felt bad for you the whole time until I got to the end and realized you were [00:23:00] in on. Yeah. Which logically doesn’t even make sense, but, you know, nowadays people,

Zach: yeah,

Sarma: they’re watching it while they’re doing the dishes or they’re watching it while they’re fiddling on their iPhone and they’re not paying that close attention.

Maybe they watched the first episode a week ago, so they don’t even remember the first part. Either way, it was clearly deliberately misleading and yeah, that’s, there’s a, that’s a problem. There’s a docuseries, I think it was called The Jinx with, uh, Robert Durst, where at the end he’s caught on a hot mic.

And that, I believe, I never saw it, but I was told that, that, uh, when that documentary or docuseries came out, it, it created a huge buzz and everybody was talking about it. So it seems like this director wanted to do the same thing. Yeah. Um, really, I think, yeah, it was

Zach: Irresponsible

Sarma: Revealed himself to be, I think it was more than irresponsible.

I think, you know, I, I think there are certain types of people out there that lack empathy. And there are words for people like that. And I think he’s one of them.

Note: This is just a little note that I added after this episode went out. I wanted to point out that, despite Sarma’s strong dislike of the documentary, I will say that after watching it, I thought Sarma was clearly a victim. And I’d add that two people I watched it with thought the same thing. So I just wanted to point that out, as something in the documentary’s favor. For Sarma, of course this is a hugely serious and personal matter – how her story is depicted. And I think she makes valid points; especially about how audience members who aren’t that savvy about psychology or who are prone to snap judgments can arrive at very distorted views based on choices made by the filmmaker. So I do agree with her that the documentary should have been more careful and responsible and explicit about some things.  But because in this talk with Sarma I largely supported her in her criticism of the documentary, I wanted to add in this note that I think most people did come away thinking that Sarma was the victim. I don’t pretend to know what was in the mind of the documentary filmmaker, so I kind of regret using the word ‘unethical’ at several points in this talk, as I don’t know his side of the story, and its possible he’d be able to defend himself. Okay, back to the talk. 

Zach: I have a friend who, you know, he, he’s told me, he’s like, I don’t, I won’t even watch documentaries even anymore because there’s always some narrative and it’s so hard.

You, you basically have to go afterwards and do the research yourself to even see what happens for a lot of these documents. Yeah. It’s like, it’s like Ken

Sarma: Burns should be on some kind of, like, you need to, you, you ought to, I made the argument in the essay I wrote online that there should be a new category called Docu.

Mm-hmm.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Like, don’t

Sarma: call it a documentary. And, and maybe there needs to be somebody, like, some kind of, I don’t know. I just brought up Ken Burns. ’cause he’s like the, the original documentarian that, you know, it’s like somebody should have to go, okay, this is legit.

Zach: Yeah. They do some, some organization rating documentaries, like in

Sarma: order to be called a documentary.

Yeah. You have to qualify and you have to,

Zach: that’s a good idea for a rating. Your fact

Sarma: checking has to pan out.

Zach: Yeah. Yeah. No, I like that. There’s just so much bias in a lot of these shows. Yeah. Looking back now with the, uh, benefit of more hindsight about how you met Mr. Fox and how he was able to manipulate you [00:25:00] and worm his way into your life, what, what do you see as the major, uh, you know, clearly you were emotionally vulnerable at the time, and, and what do you see as the, as the major factors at that time to that, that led you to be so vulnerable that he, he could, you know, get it work his way into your life?

Sarma: Um, I, I think that these people tend to find their targets exactly the way that cults usually find people very often on the other side, you know, at a time of transition. So I think cults are known for very often grabbing kids off college campuses when they’re in a brand new setting. They’re on their own for the first time.

They’re, they’re maybe like, they haven’t attached themselves to any group yet, so they’re, they’re in this somewhat vulnerable state. And for me, I had. Broken up from a, a very healthy, good relationship. I certainly had a dysfunctional one before that, but I’d been in this good relationship. I was heartbroken for the first time.

[00:26:00] And, um, and just feeling overwhelmed and overworked and wanting some kind of relief. And either way, these people are very, very skilled at what they do and, uh, and, and they know how to target people and, you know, get them mm-hmm. Know what things to say, what buttons to push, and how to reel people in and get them.

Zach: Yeah. It struck me that the, you know, the, the, the isolation, the, um, you know, the, the heartbreak, the isolation, the, the loneliness. And then, I mean, correct me if, if I’m off base here, but mm-hmm. Your description of, you know, going through the thing with, um. Matthew Kenny and how stressful that was. And then also like the debt that was involved in the Yeah.

The exploitation. You had already been basically exploited, you know, hugely, already, hugely emotionally and financially by that situation. And, uh, I mean, I I, I just imagine like the [00:27:00] stress of running the businesses, the, the loneliness slash heartbreak, the fact that you had this debt and abuse pre from the previous relationship.

I mean, man, that just, that just seems like a, a recipe for being extremely vulnerable and, um, yeah, I’m, I’m, I’m curious if you agree with all that.

Sarma: Yeah, definitely. And, and I think there’s certain things about me that kind of generally exist that make me a good target, which is that I am by nature, uh.

Introverted, even though, you know, therefore being in the restaurant, having to sort of schmooze with guests and talk to lots of people and be on socially. I mean, it was fun at times, but it was also completely wiped me out in a way that I didn’t even understand at the time. Certain things about me and the way that I’m wired, that that would make me especially exhausted and [00:28:00] drained.

And it was always often very confusing to me back then because I thought, I exercise, I eat the best food. I eat so healthy. I eat so clean. I wasn’t like, I mean back then I, I drank socially, but not a lot. I don’t drink at all hardly. Basically. I don’t drink at all now, but I, you know, I’m taking the supplements, I’m doing all these things right, and yet would be really exhausted and probably had a, probably had.

Most of my life was sort of level of depression too that never really went addressed or not really diagnosed or addressed. And I think when you’re that busy and there’s that much going on, you’re not, you know, I certainly wasn’t meditating and reflecting on my life and thinking about myself and my, my own emotional vulnerabilities or triggers, or I just wasn’t thinking about any of that stuff.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, [00:29:00] mm-hmm.

Zach: Yeah, I, I, I do think the, um, I mean my, my view of, you know, when it comes to mental struggles and. Delusions and, you know, unwell pathways we can go down. I do think, you know, the loneliness and isolation is at the root of pretty much all of that is, is my view when it comes to that.

Yeah.

Sarma: Well and and what they do once they get in, you know, once these people get to you is they deliberately isolate you from your close contact. So if you’re already have a tendency to be kind of an introvert, it’s

Zach: compounding. Yeah.

Sarma: It’s that much easier to isolate you. ’cause they’re not, you know, it’s not like I had a gaggle of girlfriends that I hung out with all the time that were all up in my business all the time.

So it was easier. And then, you know, I also wasn’t aware at the time, but I, I subsequently, I mean one of the really interesting, totally unexpected things that happened after Bad Vegan came out, you know, amidst the fire hose of half, um, [00:30:00] you know, this sort of really. Angry, brutal comments coming at me, whether they just yell, like, call, calling me stupid, or, oh my God, you’re a criminal.

You are in on it. You should be ashamed of yourself. You hurt all these people. And, and then also getting a lot of sympathy from people who did, did understand what happened. Uh, there were, there was like also amidst that there was this steady trickle of people telling me that, asking me if I’d ever been evaluated or diagnosed with autism one or Asperger’s.

And they were people telling me that they’d been, this was coming from people that had themselves been diagnosed at some point in their lives, but very often late in life. And recognizing those qualities through the docuseries or the show, I call it the show. I don’t like to call it a documentary. So recognizing those things in me and reaching out to ask me about that.

So many people said that, that I eventually did go for a very [00:31:00] extensive evaluation and then got that diagnosis, which was another factor that was useful in helping me understand how I would be more likely to, I was more easily manipulated, say than I don’t know, the next person over potentially. Mm-hmm.

Just because of that, having that type of wiring, it’s almost as if my, I just, my default setting is to take people at face value. So, you know, I just remember when I was younger and kind of throughout life, sometimes not quite getting people’s jokes or. Sarcasm, which is weird because I employ sarcasm as well as hyperbole.

Liberally, sometimes just, but sometimes not quite. Getting it when people are not, not, and being able to accurately interpret somebody’s intentions and very often getting myself into trouble. Sometimes just a bit of [00:32:00] uncomfortable, harmless trouble where I’m just too open or, you know, somebody would approach me and instead of throwing up a wall and telling somebody to fuck off and go away, I’m, I’m sort of open and nice and I’ll respond, and then maybe I get myself into a bit of trouble.

So, either way, it, it just was another factor that seems to me relevant and I think based on what I’ve learned as about that having, being somebody who would get that diagnosis. And I think a lot of people would, and it’s, you know, a spectrum. That’s why they call it being on the spectrum. But it also turns out that.

Those qualities are qualities that I admire most in other people. And I feel safest with other people who I think have those qualities because there’s a, there’s like a no bullshit thing, you know, somebody might be a little awkwardly blunt or a little bit socially awkward, but there’s no manipulation or bullshit.

You know, there’s no passive aggressiveness, there’s no something else [00:33:00] going on. Um, you know, they’re pretending to be, it’s,

Zach: yeah. Yeah. I can, it’s very

Sarma: reassuring to know that mean, that’s why I feel most comfortable around people like that.

Zach: You know, I think if you have that personality type, it’s, it’s also, you know, it, and you talk about this in your.

In your writing, uh, you know, if you’re very, if you have that personality type, it’s really hard. It puts you more at risk of being exploited because it’s just really hard for you to understand the kind of deceptive, you know, narcissistic mind that will just lie about literally everything. Right. It’s like it becomes that much harder to, uh, wrap your head around that and makes you more, more, more vulnerable a bit.

Um,

Sarma: yeah. Yeah. And, and also interestingly, I mean, it’s interesting that it happened to me with that relationship with Matthew, which I write about in the book.

Zach: That’s a wild story in itself. Yeah,

Sarma: right. I mean, what’s so interesting is at, you know, that that story is even wilder than what I was able to write in the book.

[00:34:00] I tried to cut it down and, and keep it as short as I could. It’s just a couple of short chapters. But after that happened, um, I, I felt like, I think I must have had a feeling like. People don’t get struck by lightning twice. And so it’s not gonna happen to me again. So I wasn’t, I hadn’t, there wasn’t enough written about this stuff.

I didn’t know enough about it. And now I, I really make the point to tell people that if it’s happened to you before, don’t think it’s that now, now you know, it’s not gonna happen to you again. No. You need to really stop and analyze and go forth and be extremely cautious. Extremely cautious. Because I, you know, it’s happened to me multiple times and I’ve heard from a lot of people who’ve reached out to me that it happens to them mm-hmm.

Zach: More than once.

Sarma: Mm-hmm. And sometimes in, not even, uh, like a personal, romantic relationship, but in a, in a business context business. Mm-hmm. Or, you know, it [00:35:00] could be a colleague at work or even a friend that mm-hmm.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Takes advantage of you in a certain way.

Zach: So, yeah. The, uh, you, you touched on this briefly, but, uh, I, I wanted to talk about people’s lack of empathy for this, because I do think.

There is this element of the experiences that you’ve gone through are just really hard for pretty much almost everyone to understand because A, I think you’ve got the fact that in general, people just have a really hard time understanding mental struggles and in general, like, you know, yeah. Depression, anxiety, these kinds of things.

So people at a base level are, are generally, you know, unempathetic or lack of understanding these kinds of things. And then on, you’ve got on top of that how combining, you know, anxiety, depression with being in the orbit of somebody who’s a, you know, narcissistic abuser, uh, can really ramp up the craziness and take that to the next level.

So, and, and a lot of, you know, so you’ve got the fact that hardly, you know, most people can be [00:36:00] unempathetic or, or not understanding about the, the depression and anxiety. And then you’ve got the fact that hardly anyone has, you know, very few people have dealt with the kinds of. Abuse and manipulation that you’ve dealt with, and that that adds another level of people just really having a hard time wrapping their, their minds around how your, your mind, your mind can get warped and manipulated in ways that, you know, strike other people who aren’t having those problems or that that manipulation.

It strikes them as like, well, how couldn’t she see this? She, you know, and, and then they’re, they become very judgemental. Uh, so I just think it’s this unfortunate thing where, you know, I, I, I just think the, there’s a really huge lack of, of, of empathy and then. You add in the, the internet, you know, culture we have where people are witnessing this stuff from afar and just making snap judgements about you and about many other people, which leads to the, you know, just a, just a real lack of, uh, empathy for you and mean messages to you and these kinds of things.

And cur curious if you agree with all that. [00:37:00]

Sarma: Yeah, and I mean, another failing of, of bad vegan, I mean, the title itself was

Zach: exploitative. Yeah,

Sarma: yeah. And, and I thought that, of course, I just thought, well, first of all, I just never anticipated they would, that it was gonna be such a betrayal, like could not have imagined, but they, at my urging or I helped.

Get a, you know, the leading psychologist in this field of what’s known as Coercive Control. The man who actually wrote the book on coercive control, this Dr. Evan Stark, who sadly passed away since, but they spent a, an entire day interviewing him. They spent an entire day interviewing this other guy, um, named Hoyt Richards, who’s this really lovely person, a Princeton graduate, was a male model who was sucked into this cult for 10 years.

Totally understands my situation, I understand him. And both of those interviews I was told were really good and really useful, really compelling. And Dr. Evan Stark had said if I had [00:38:00] had any involvement in her case, she never would’ve gone to jail.

Zach: Hmm.

Sarma: And they didn’t use any of that. So there was a zero explanation of what I think is the most fascinating part of these stories.

Yeah. Is how, yeah. How does somebody who, yeah. Whatever has all these credentials and this background and is clearly not a dodo, how does somebody get manipulated like this? I find that fascinating. And they didn’t include any of that, and that’s will be much of the focus of the next docuseries that I’m working on.

I love how we can hear the thunder through my Yeah. Headphones and I can also hear it through you. So it’s like this cool thunder echo is happening. Yeah. This

Zach: is really adding, you know, adding, it’s a good vibe. Yeah. Some good vibes, some good, uh, mood to the, to the interview. Um, um, yeah. But,

Sarma: but I also, I agree it, it’s, it is similar to the way that people who’ve never experienced any struggles with depression, and I frankly, have a hard, you know, like if somebody’s told me they’ve never been depressed at all in their life, or [00:39:00] struggled or questioned reality or, you know, I, I’m like, who are you?

Zach: I have a hard time. How do you even

Sarma: relate to somebody like that? And I, I’ve written a lot of. I probably have snippets of unpublished blog posts and substack posts all over the place. And I’ve written some about depression, but not as boldly as I would want to. But I really, I feel, I really feel for people because I’ve been through a lot of it myself too.

Mm-hmm. But

Zach: it does make you more empathetic. Yeah. That’s, that’s one nice thing about the suffering. Yeah.

Sarma: And, and it’s just, it’s really agonizing and isolating because you might feel like the way that you feel is, and I might’ve written this somewhere, it feels to you like you’re walking around and there’s blood shooting out your eyeballs, and it’s that level of pain that if people knew that, that’s what you felt like they would all rush.

[00:40:00] Oh my God, how can we help you? What can we do? But they can’t see that. And so you’re walking around feeling that level of pain, but nobody sees it and they’re just ignoring it because they don’t know. And if you tried to express it, they’d be like, what? What do you mean? You know? And it’s just very, I find it very painful that it’s so hard for people to talk about.

And so often people are discouraged from expressing it because when you do, it’s seen very often as weakness. Like, oh, just, you know, get it together or get up. Right, right. Go, go do some yoga. Like get your shit together. They don’t understand, um,

Zach: yeah, what

Sarma: an impact it can have.

Zach: Um, that was, that was another, yeah, that was another big failing of the documentary, uh, unethical thing I think of like, they should have had more about how these things happen in there for sure.

Like, yeah. That, that, that really stood out.

Sarma: They, they also, um, you know, now that I know more about the process. I shouldn’t have been thrown in that interview chair for 12 [00:41:00] hours without any support, without anybody who’s informed about these types of things. Without an advocate, without somebody there.

Zach: Yeah. Um,

Sarma: and it was two interviews. They were a year apart, even though I’m back in the same dress. I can tell which part is from which interview, but both days were really long days. And the first very first interview I did, it was a 12 hour day. And it wasn’t until the end of that day that they asked me, there’s a whole really icky sexual abuse component to what happened.

And there’s a rather explicit chapter about it in the latter half of the book. And I was asked about it at the end of that 12 hour day. And of course, that’s when I break down finally and start to cry and, you know, explained and answer the questions about what happened. And I’m thinking, I was told afterwards that it was really compelling and everybody gave me hugs afterwards and.

Uh, you know, it was very, really painful to do that. [00:42:00] And so I was really surprised I was stealing myself to be embarrassed that I was ugly crying on this Netflix show. Right. I’m thinking, oh my God, I’m gonna be like ugly crying and that’s gonna be embarrassing. But then instead, when I saw it for the first time, they just cut it out completely, which cut it out as if it never happened.

And again, if they’d left that in the viewer wouldn’t have then been able to conclude, oh, she was in on it. ’cause at that point they would’ve gone, oh my God, this is horrific.

Zach: Yeah, it’s a good, it’s a good example of how one little choice can cause change the perceptions of the audience in such a big way.

Like, you know, without that, without any crying like that in the movie, you come across as cold and maybe calculating Yes, but with even a little crying, which is changes perceptions completely. Right?

Sarma: Yeah. I mean, I, I, that’s another thing that people have commented as sort of comment to this sort is, um.

You know, it’s a little bit spectrum to come across as unemotional and I, yeah. I [00:43:00] can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, you took no, you, you expressed no remorse in that. You showed no remorse in that show. And I’m like, you have no idea how horrifically bad I feel and felt and what’s going on inside.

But just because I come across as a bit cold and

Zach: Yeah. You

Sarma: know, I’m not showing that much the, the types of emotion that people would expect. Yeah. And, and again, also it was edited, you know, I mean. Probably 20 hours of footage and he’s selectively grabbing what he wants. And there were parts where, I mean, I don’t wanna turn this into a bitch session about Chris Smith, the director, but also, you know, fuck that dude.

Too late for

Zach: that. No,

Sarma: just kidding. Yeah, exactly. No, it’s,

Zach: it’s fine. It’s fine. But,

Sarma: but I mean, it’s, people are

Zach: curious. They’ve seen the movie, they wanna hear, there’s like,

Sarma: there’s very subtle, like I give him credit for being kind of a genius because there’s parts where I can’t prove that [00:44:00] he like the, where I know he moved my words around.

I can prove, because I made the recording, I have the original, I can show that he edited what I really said and what he showed. But the interview that they recorded when I’m, you know, on camera with all the lights in the chairs, um, in the chair, uh, there’s places where, you know, he asks me a question and I say, I don’t remember or.

I’ve worked with another director who’s like, can tell you can tell when something’s edit a certain, my point is I think there’s little subtle things he did, and there are places where I say I don’t remember, which is genuine because anybody, if anybody’s been through a sort of mind bending traumatic thing where you’ve been dissociated in a state of fear and you’re not, you’re, it would be weird if you remembered everything.

Mm-hmm. Like, you’re not gonna remember stuff. You

Zach: were in a bad

Sarma: place. Yeah. So that was a very normal response to say, I don’t remember, but [00:45:00] he, it would be presented in a way that made it look like I was lying, or, or I didn’t wanna say something and then well just the,

Zach: oh, go on.

Sarma: And then there was just one part where, one part where he asks me why I fired a particular person and I don’t wanna say anything negative.

I’m not gonna reveal something. So I, in that moment I was like, um, I don’t really remember. ’cause I, I was put on this, like, I, I didn’t wanna say anything negative about somebody or reveal anything. Um, so anyway, whatever.

Zach: Right. Yeah. Then it made you look like, oh, she, she fired that person for completely unethical reasons.

’cause, or, or she, she’s feigning that she can’t remember. Yeah, she’s, yeah. Uh, that kind of thing. Yeah. Uh, just, you know, just at the base level of like the, the documentary’s name alone tells you what kind of documentary it will be. I mean, bad vegan is a very exploitative choosing of a name to me. I thought that even before watching it, because I was like, this, this name has, you know, the vegan aspect really has nothing to do with your story.

It’s just a, [00:46:00] a way to, to entice people about, there was a bad vegan, vegans are so morally superior. This was a bad vegan. But I’m sure he could, you know, he can justify it in the sense that like. He’s just choosing it to get eyeballs on it. Right. But like to me it’s, to me it’s a, it’s an, it’s another unethical choice.

Sarma: Yeah. Well I also thought, I mean, I didn’t love the title, but I thought, okay, I get it. They wanna entice people to watch it. Yeah. And my thinking was that because the tabloids had been, because the tabloids had made me look really bad.

Zach: All the pizza stuff.

Sarma: That

Zach: false pizza stuff. Yeah.

Sarma: Right, exactly. The tabloids had made me look bad that it, it, my thinking was that, and I think I was even told this, that, you know, the title is gonna be bad vegan, but of course the whole point is you’re not.

And so that’s, that’s the reveal in the story is that I’m not the bad vegan, but the tabloids portrayed me to be. And um, and you know, either way it, it’s, even when I do podcast interviews and I talk about this stuff, [00:47:00] inevitably there’s people in the comments that are like, oh, she’s good at making herself the victim.

She’s not taking your responsibility and. That’s where I just, I can’t force anybody to read my book, but if somebody wants to read my book and then make accusations or come at me for something,

Zach: yeah, I think you,

Sarma: like I can back up everything in my book. I have all the receipts for everything. I mean,

Zach: you’re, you’re, you and I are kind of like, because I think we’re both overs shares like you.

Yes. I feel like you don’t, I think you, you hold no, uh, you know, you’re, you try to be as I do believe you try to be as transparent as you can, even when it, you know, hurts the perception of you. Yeah. Which I, I really respect that. ’cause that’s something I try to do. You know, I’ve talked about my mental struggles and on this podcast, and I want it to do a episode about my, my wife leaving me, which I might get out one of these days.

But just to say I do, I respect your, um, I do sense. When you’re in your previous blog work and your book now, I do feel like you are saying, [00:48:00] trying your best to say, here’s. How it went down and even to your own detriment, you know, like you’re, you’re not, you’re not dodging responsibility, you’re just trying to understand how it happened to you.

Sarma: Yeah. And actually, what, what’s really interesting, and I is still something that I’m sort of fascinated by what the response might be from anybody who really studies this kind of thing. But I include, as I said, a lot of original dialogue between him and me that I was able to recover digitally and in so many places, I’m pushing back at him and insulting him.

And that at least is a part that I think provides some little bits of comic relief for people. ’cause people will tell me that they’re reading it and they’re really stressed out, and then I’ll lob some ridiculous insults back at him. But my point is that a, a friend of mine said, you know, I’m not sure you wanna include all this stuff where you’re, you’re pushing back on him so hard because it doesn’t really make sense.

You know it.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: It’s hard to reconcile how you were manipulated when you’re calling him. [00:49:00] You know, a liar. And I had to qualify too, like it’s somewhere. I was like, I don’t, I have enormous amounts of sympathy for people who are challenged with their weight. I’ve never found it easy to remain the weight that I am.

And so I have enormous amounts of sympathy for that. But because this guy, while I was with him, gained so much weight and made it seem like he was doing it on purpose for this bizarre series of tests he was putting through the meat suit.

Zach: Yeah.

Sarma: That so many of my insults are like calling him a fat fuck.

And some of them are anyway, so I’m making the, but the point is that it seems you’re willing to put it out there. I don’t, I don’t appear like a person being manipulated when I’m calling him a fat liar or, or making fun of him. And then, but, but what’s so fascinating about that, I, I mean, I included it because it is very fascinating part of the story and

Zach: it’s true.

Yeah. And you’re, you were even at the risk of it changing, you know, not being optimal for your perception, you’re willing to put it out there. And that’s respectable to me because. I wanted to say more about that, [00:50:00] but go ahead.

Sarma: Well, what’s interesting is it really all I could recover is a, is that portion of our digital correspondence.

It would be amazing if somehow miraculously every interaction with him I had is on camera. Which, you know, if Chase and those people are right, and we really are living in the Matrix, maybe there is a camera Oh yeah. Maybe we can download it from, we can download it, it from the

Zach: matrix later. Yeah. We’ll just

Sarma: take DMT and get the red lasers.

Yeah. And we’ll exactly go to see what happened, but Totally. So yeah, so maybe at some point I will get the video footage, um, in which case that would be fascinating to me because that’s where I think. All that mind fucky happened where, ’cause I’m pushing back at him, I’m pushing back at him, and then, and then our conversation ends and based, and then I know that he came home or what, or whatever happened.

He’s either calls me on the phone or he’s in my presence. And then I’ll, according to my records, you know, the following day or a few hours later, I [00:51:00] send him a wire for some obscene amount of money that he was pushing me for. And I had been pushing back on him in writing. But then somehow when he’s in person, when he’s gets to me in person, then the thing that he wanted me to do, he gets me to do.

And I don’t really know how he did that because I don’t remember it. And also, I don’t have that camera footage. Uh, you know, I don’t have that stuff recorded.

Zach: Yeah. I think the, uh, I mean, I think what you’re, some of what you’re saying relates to people’s lack of understanding of how complex these kinds of situations are.

Like for example. Just because you push back on something doesn’t mean that you’re not being manipulated, right? Like there’s a very, even even someone who’s having a full blown delusion, they don’t necessarily fully believe their own delusions. It’s kinda like, is this world true? Is this narrative true?

Is it not true? They’re, they’re testing it, they’re like living part in it and part out of it. So that’s just to say like, you pushing back on things doesn’t, doesn’t take away from the fact that you could be also believing or semi believing in other things. [00:52:00] There’s a complex thing there about delusions and like, weird, magical thinking, right?

Like when you, when you examine like, you know, extremely narcissistic, malignant, narcissistic people, like, you know, the guy I was telling you about in, in, in my, yeah, in my world, it’s like, it’s really hard to, even for an individual to separate, like, do they really believe this stuff? Are they, are they lying or do they not?

Are they not even sure where the lines are drawn? So that’s just to say for you, being manipulated. You’re, you’re like, at any stage, you’re kind of like semi buying into things. You’re buying into some things, questioning others. So just you pushing back does not, you know, it may look bad and it leads to people who are unaware of that complexity to be like, oh, she’s questioning it.

Therefore she must, you know, she, she isn’t a sap. She must have been questioning everything. She didn’t really fall for it. She must be in on it. But that, I think it just gets back to most people’s, you know, unfamiliarity with how complex these psychological manipulation situations are. Yeah. And,

Sarma: and what they do is they, they create, I mean, there’s an intense amount of fear and confusion, [00:53:00] which is, I think confusion is a really important element.

Confusion. Yeah. You’re like, what’s going on? Yeah. Able to manipulate somebody. Yeah. And I, as I write throughout this whole situation, it’s not the Netflix show and some articles that were written. Sort of exploited this idea that he made me believe my dog would live forever and therefore I must be cuckoo.

But, you know, he didn’t make me believe all of these things necessarily. He just kept me in this state of absolute confusion. And also, you know, I am very open-minded, I guess you would say spiritually, right? So I, I, I had this experience adopting my dog that a lot of people will say this. And so it’s not, it doesn’t make me by default D Lulu, but when I got my dog, it.

I, I never felt this before. I’d never felt propelled by some force beyond me. It [00:54:00] was like this dog, I wasn’t trying to get a dog. You know, there’s a short chapter on adopting Leon. And originally I was trying to convince Alec Baldwin to adopt a dog. And that’s why I was looking at dogs. And this one dog struck me and I forwarded it to Alec and I was like, oh, this is the dog.

You have to get this dog. I don’t, this dog. And then he wasn’t interested in getting a dog. And I got obsessed with this one dog. And I, I had not been thinking that in any, there was no scenario where I was thinking of adopting a dog, but this one dog got stuck in my head and I was crying and I had to go see him.

And like, I, it’s hard to explain, but I felt like. I had no choice, no matter how irrational it was for me, being a really busy person running my own business. I lived in my office with other people with tons of inventory, computer cords everywhere. Me adopting a five month old pit bull was not a rational thing to do, but I had no choice.

It was like I had to go get this dog. [00:55:00] And I wrote about that experience very openly on my website in a blog post. And so he knew that, and so he knew how to kind of get in my head using that and all of the other things that I was very open about online. Yeah, like using like,

Zach: uh, indicators of the universe, giving you signs kind of Yes.

Things. Yeah.

Sarma: Yes.

Zach: Yeah. Which I was gonna ask you that too. You, it seems like, uh, in the, in the documentary and, um, you know, sometimes in your, in your book you talked about, uh, sometimes you felt like there were certain signs from the universe adding up, you know, you talked about. Feeling like, uh, Alec Baldwin met his partner at your restaurant, so maybe it was fitting that you might meet your partner through Baldwin, through the Twitter association or a realtor that handled, that seemed to have handled, uh, Mr.

Fox’s stuff also handled Baldwin’s. But I think, uh, you know, one thing thing that stood out to me, and I’m curious if you agree, is, you know, when we’re, when we’re stressed out and like basically existentially stressed out and we’re like looking for meaning to

Sarma: yes.

Zach: Clinging onto that, it can be very tempting to be like, well, I don’t know what I’m [00:56:00] doing, or, you know, what I should be doing and I’m stressed out about that.

And it’s, I think it’s very tempting. ’cause I’ve, I’ve gone through this too. It’s like, uh, you, you start looking for like, well I want, I want someone to tell me what to do. I want the universe to tell me what to do. So you start looking for signs about how should I live my life? Or where should I direct

Sarma: Right.

My attention. Right. And like where you’re looking, you can usually find something and you

Zach: can find something. Yeah. Yeah. And

Sarma: there’s actually a quote in my book. From Andrew Huberman that stood, you know, I, I include it in my book. Something he said on a podcast once that stood out to me and I wrote it down and included where he said, the more, uh, I’m paraphrasing, but the more intense fear.

And I think he says, a human or animal experiences. I don’t know how you would know if an animal was, basically says, the more, the more intense the fear you’re experiencing, the more prone you are to delusional thinking.

Zach: Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, so it makes sense. Yeah.

Sarma: I’m paraphrasing. I have the exact quote in my book, but that’s also why.

These people will go to great [00:57:00] lengths to keep you in a state of fear, overwhelm, confusion, exhaustion, and, and so it’s just, you’re already completely worn down and then it’s that much easier for them to wear you down and wear you down and wear you down until you go fine.

Zach: Right? Like

Sarma: fine, okay, fine. We will get married.

Like that’s, he just wore me down and convinced me that there was some reason we had to get married and I would be protected and blah. And I was like, ah, fine. Like, right,

Zach: you’re destroying, you’re constantly discerning ’cause creating so much

Sarma: stress that the only what ends up happening is you feel like the only way to relieve this tension that feels increasingly unbearable is to just go, okay, fine, I’ll send you that wire that you’re promising is the last wire ever.

And then I’ll get it all back. Like, okay, fine, I’ll just do it. And then you get relief. Um, but of course you’re just digging your own grave that much deeper.

Zach: Well, the thing that struck me there too was, uh, you know, reading your. Uh, book yesterday, [00:58:00] and you talk about it in a documentary, I think too, uh, there’s this element.

I think the thing that’s hard for people to, another thing that’s hard for people to understand is with these kinds of situations, you know, whether it’s somebody, you know, being delusional on their own or, or being manipulated in such ways, it’s, it’s like there’s, there’s like a compounding thing where you go down these pathways.

Like once you, once you live through or involve yourself with one kind of crazy thing, it changes your perception of yourself. It changes your, you know, you’re, and, and you’re kind of invested in it too. You know, it’s like you, you mentioned being, uh, like having financial investment. I think in, I think it was in the Matthew Kenny thing and how that led to a situation where you felt like you’re investing in it, so you have to keep going.

But there’s also, there can also be like emotional investment, like you’ve gone this far. So it’s like you’re more open to keep going further. And there’s also like a cognitive dis dissonance thing where it’s like. Once you have gone through such things and you have been involved in some crazy things, [00:59:00] it’s like it’s hard to turn that around because that would involve like having to create a narrative where you were so wrong and, and, and, uh, that, that requires a lot of strength because you have to basically be like, oh, everything I’ve done for the past, you know, months or years has been completely false and I’ve been completely misled.

And that’s, so it’s kinda like this compounding thing where you get led on this pathway and you, it’s hard to get out of that pathway once you start going down it, which I think is true for manipulation, but I think it’s just also a true thing about how we can go down like delusional pathways on our own, where we’re like, start being like, well, once we do and think this, we’re more open to this other thing and et cetera, et cetera.

Yeah.

Sarma: Yeah. And, and there’s just the idea that he’s, you know, he, once he got money out of me, which initially was, oh, let me just borrow this money for this crazy emergency, I’ll pay your right back. Once he got that initial. Chunk of money out of me, then he is got a hook in me. Right. Because I’m always gonna want it back.

So I, I had [01:00:00] resolved, I’m not gonna see this guy again. Like he, this is not right. Something’s, you know, but Right. He was able to get back in because he’d say, oh, I’m gonna bring you that money back. I got it and cash, I’m gonna, it creates a tie. Just tie his, it, it creates

Zach: a tie to him. Yeah.

Sarma: Right. And then he would do his mind sorcery on me and somehow he would maybe give me back some money, but then he’d get more money out of me.

And then I’m in deeper and then you’re in deeper. And then it becomes, you know, they get you in a situation, you’re more and more and more compromised and the loss is bigger and bigger and bigger. Right. But they’re promising that it’s all gonna be turned around and then some.

Zach: Yeah.

Sarma: So in order, you know, they set you, they put you in this impossible trap because for you to go, you know what, you must be full of shit.

You’re a con artist, therefore you have to accept that I am a colossal fool. I recklessly gave this guy so much money, which now I’m gonna have to accept that loss. Yeah. I’ll never see it back.

Zach: Yeah. I’ll have to just accept it it off. I’ll never get it back. Yeah.

Sarma: And I don’t [01:01:00] know how to explain it to anybody, so it’s gonna be humiliating.

And I really want what he keeps promising me, and I’m never gonna get answers. So I’m gonna have to live with the fact that he’s gonna claim that I screwed it all up. And if I just stuck out a little bit longer, this magical utopia that he keeps talking about is gonna come to a fruition like that I missed out.

So it’s this combination of wanting the answer and the explanation is what you’re kind of holding out for and the

Zach: happy ending of some sort. Yeah. And

Sarma: and not wanting to, not wanting to accept and face this big humiliating loss. So psychologically, you’re just gonna be inclined to keep. To keep going. And, and every, you know, all along the way, as you, as you’ll see when you get into the second half of the book, it’s like this one more, just this one more wire.

And then it’s all over. It’s all over and all it’s all gonna come back and this is all gonna make sense. And he would say things to me like, you’re gonna feel like a [01:02:00] big giant asshole when, when you, when you see what’s really happening here. Mm-hmm. As if

Zach: mm-hmm.

Sarma: And I’m going, well wait, what does that mean really?

And I don’t understand what that means, and I wa

Zach: Right.

Sarma: So yeah. I mean it’s complex.

Zach: Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s very complex and mean. And meanwhile, meanwhile, his involvement, your involvement with him is making you more distant from your other support, you know, support system and, and people. And you’re becoming more and more, more isolated.

And they

Sarma: create, they create secrecy. I mean, it’s like, uh, any, you know, it’s like any child molester is gonna say, oh, this, this is our special relationship. You can’t talk to anybody about it. It’s just between you and I. Like, anytime somebody creates, it’s, our secret creates a, a level of, of secrecy. Uh, that’s, you know mm-hmm.

That’s, that’s kind of another red flag.

Zach: Yeah. And the, and the tie in, uh, there’s a tie in there with, makes me think of the, the gambling poker world, which I’m pretty familiar with from being an ex poker player. There’s instances where people will, you know, come out and say, this, this poker player owes me like a million dollars.

Right. And they’ll be [01:03:00] like, and, and, and how could the people will be like, how could you be so stupid to have loaned this guy money? But it’s a similar thing where, where they started out loaning him, you know, some smaller amount and then, you know, it kept compounding like the way you said, where they were, had to face this decision of like, well, if I cut ties with him and call them out, I’m not, I’m never gonna get it.

I’m not gonna get my money back. And, and also there, there, there might be an element of like, I’m an idiot, you know? So it’s like there is this emotional and financial incentive to be like. Oh, maybe if I just, you know, give him a little bit more and we stay in contact, maybe he’ll be good for it. But then it just keeps adding up and eventually it leads to them, you know, telling people publicly and facing that they’re never gonna get the money back and they can out them and everyone’s like you, why were you such an idiot?

What is wrong with you? And these are, you know, these can be very smart people, obviously. Yeah. Uh, so there is some, there’s some similarities that, that map over to just financial debts in general and

Sarma: Yeah. Or, you know, you got, you got

Zach: emotional stuff next year or not selling

Sarma: a declining stock.

Zach: Hmm. Yeah.

Right. Your emotions get involved and you, there is, yeah. There’s a, the thing where you don’t wanna take

Sarma: [01:04:00] the loss, so you just, but it keeps going down.

Zach: They say in poker, yeah, don’t throw good money after bad. But when you’re in that situation, it can be very hard to, you know, you do, you do instinctually feel like, well, I want to keep throwing money at this, at the, at this thing.

Right.

Sarma: You wanna get it back.

Zach: Yeah. Um, so I want, I wanted to ask you, um, you know, uh, obviously the, uh, you ended up owing a lot of. Money, and that’s obviously a really hard thing to deal with. And, um, and you’ve been through a lot of hard things and dealt with some horrible people. Um, how do you, how, how do you, what, what, what brings you hope and, um, do with the, with regards to the financial debt?

I imagine it’s like you just have to view it as like, it’s almost like imaginary in a sense because there’s like, it’s so hard to dig your way out of it, so you just have to accept that that’s, I guess, bankruptcy, uh, helps in, in that sense too. But it’s like, it’s [01:05:00] such a hole. It’s like, I’m curious how you, how you deal with that, that, that, that reality.

I

Sarma: think, and I’m very aware sometimes that a, a level of dissociation is almost necessary.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Sometimes. Mm-hmm. And, and I’m also very aware of the stress of everything, including recent events. Making me susceptible to wanting to believe that there’s some greater purpose here, or like I’m being te you know, I’m very, I’m very aware of my own tendency to wanna clinging on to certain beliefs.

Right. Um, you know, I came back here to rebuild my business in the same space, which is available. And a lot of things went a bit sideways in a way that really does feel like, okay, that it, it’s, it hasn’t been the right time yet. And you know, when you get that feeling where something not working out, you feel like you were [01:06:00] protected because if it had worked out, you would’ve gotten stuck into another bad situation.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Um, I, I mean, I’m aware I, I feel some of that now, but it’s, it’s stressful because there’s all of the debt from what happened and then. Since moving back here, I’ve just racked up credit card debt. People are like, how do you live in New York? Well, I, I’m, it’s painful. And I would leave if I wasn’t, I mean, I’m at a point where I need to make certain decisions and figure out what’s, whether I’m gonna move forward with certain things or not.

And if not, then I need to get outta here and go live in a cabin somewhere. Um, but it is very stressful. And sometimes a certain level of deliberate dissociation is, is just useful in terms of getting up and continuing to function every day. Because there’s certainly a lot of days where I don’t wanna get up and I don’t wanna function.

[01:07:00] And, um, you know, I, I, I, I think people don’t, I mean, there’s.

I feel like this rainstorm is providing, is providing like a, a, an atmosphere that’s spinning. Sorry. It gets so

Zach: dark,

Sarma: but I literally

Zach: and metaphorically. Yeah.

Sarma: Right. And I, I’m, I don’t know if this is gonna be audible to your audience, but the noise of the rain, I can

Zach: hear it

Sarma: on my end is pretty loud. So maybe it adds, maybe it’s like adding a cool vibe to this whole conversation.

But what I was gonna say is that I think, um,

yeah, I, I mean I feel pretty, I in a lot of pain a lot of the time and a lot of times I do think, I don’t, I don’t want to be here. I’m done. I’m exhausted, but I am always gonna keep up, keep getting up and keep up alive.

Zach: Yeah.

Sarma: Working towards. [01:08:00] If, if the, if I didn’t owe people money, it would almost be more dangerous because then I might be more likely to just be like, yeah, I’m out.

But because I owe people money even more recently. And, um,

one of the qualities, it’s giving you some sort of

Zach: motivation, even if it’s a negative motivation. Yeah.

Sarma: And, and, and one of the qualities that these people exploit very often in cults too, is they want people who work their asses off. They want people who aren’t gonna give up who are very determined. Yeah.

And I’m one of those people, people that’s like, I’m not gonna give up. I’m gonna keep going. I’m gonna keep getting up, I’m gonna keep, you know, I’m always gonna work my butt off at whatever it is, um, that’s in front of me. So, you know, I’m still here for it. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not really painful in the meantime.

And that I don’t sit there and, you know. Think about what if I, you know, had an easy exit? I mean, I, [01:09:00] I think, I think it, it ought to be easier for people to talk about that without Oh yeah. The threat of somebody, you know, coming in white coats to cart me off. Uh, because I, that’s precisely why people don’t talk about feeling that way is ’cause, you know, somebody’s gonna call

Zach: and they’re afraid.

I think people are afraid of sharing such things too, because it makes other people weird in interacting with you. Right? Like, I was gonna, I was gonna share something about my wife leaving me and how I went through some mental turmoil about that for an episode. And, you know, I was gonna talk about how there’s like many incentives to not talk about that, right?

Like, other people can just view you as weird for oversharing and feel weird that you’ve expressed such vulnerability and it can impact how you interact with other people, you know? And so I think there’s multiple levels of why people don’t do things like that. But, um. I did wanna say thank you for, uh, sharing that because I think, I think a lot of people feel that way, you know, for, [01:10:00] for things that have happened to them, including things that are, you know, much less horrible than your, than than what you’ve dealt with.

I think there’s a lot of people struggling with, you know, how do I, how do I make my way in this world when it seems so tough? You know? So, um, yeah.

Sarma: I think another reason why people don’t talk about it so much is very often the, the response, especially with people that you’re very close to, because the response can be so gut wrenchingly devastating when, you know, if you say something around family or whatnot, you’ll get shot down with like, oh, you don’t mean that.

And, and Right, they, they brush it away invalidated, right? Like, oh, you don’t mean that. Don’t say that. Oh, you’d never do that. Or, um, like, oh, you couldn’t. You would dev, think of how many people would be devastated if you did that, which is also hard to hear because it basically implies that you could be in such extreme pain.

The [01:11:00] extreme pain that you’re in doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you don’t upset everybody else. So you gotta just suck it up and it’s not very helpful pain.

Zach: Yeah. That’s not a very helpful thing. It’s, yeah,

Sarma: it’s like all it does is it’s more painful to hear those things. Right. And so people tend to keep it to themselves.

Zach: No, totally. Yeah. I mean, getting back to the lack of empathy people have about, you know, mental health issues and suicide and stuff. It’s like, you know, people are dealing with very hard, painful things, and that’s, you know. I think there’s just a lack of empathy for how hard life can be to deal with, like you and I, you know, like you were saying, it’s like it’s hard for people that have never dealt with that to understand like people like you and I, it’s hard for you and I to understand people that say they’ve never dealt with those things.

So the, it goes both ways, but yeah, I do, I do think it’s the more, the, the more empathy we can have for just how hard life is to deal with the, the, the better things are. Yeah.

Sarma: Yeah. And it, and it’s, it’s funny because I’m very aware that like [01:12:00] very often I have to, I talk myself into, you know, I think, okay, I’m healthy, I’m, I, you know, I’m, I’m not homeless.

I’m not in a war zone. Mm-hmm. All my limbs are attached.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: Like, I’m, I’m bright. I, I have support systems. I, there’s all these options. I have a platform I have. A bunch of follower, like, I have all this opportunity and all these good things going for me, and, you know, including being very health, like I’m, I’m healthy.

So I’ll sit there and say like, what, you know, like, what’s wrong with you? Stop feeling so bad. But as everybody who’s felt that, you know, really badly knows it’s not, you know, it’s not about that. Right. Um, or, you know, that only helps so much. And that’s another thing people will say is, oh, you have so much to be grateful for and you should just work on your gratitude lists.

I’m like, yeah. I write the fucking gratitude lists every, every day and still wanna die. Sorry. That only goes, that only

Zach: goes so, [01:13:00] so far. Yeah. That’s, um, I, I mean it’s what, it’s what you must do, but it’s like, it’s still, it’s not easy. All of that stuff, it’s not easy to do helps,

Sarma: but it’s not gonna solve the underlying issue.

And so I think having a lot of, um, you know, taking the time to really look into. Your underlying stuff is, is useful. And, um, kind of digging deep and digging out all that emotional stuff is useful.

Zach: Yeah. I will say, I mean, one thing, I mean, I’ve dealt with a lot of mental struggles in my life. Like, I’ll say, you know, I’ve talked about this in the podcast, like I dropped out of college due to some, you know, basically a nervous breakdown kind of scenario.

And for most, you know, like I’d say like most of my twenties and thirties, I’d say like most of my twenties, part of my thirties, I felt like, you know, if I could push a button to, to kill myself, I, yeah, I would’ve, you know, I, that’s how I felt. Um, I do think there’s something about like, living [01:14:00] through really tough experiences like that, that, um, you know, if you can, if you can get through them, if you can, if you can, uh, process them, it, it makes you more appreciative of things that really matter, I think, and, uh, makes you a real more.

Down to earth person and also a more empathetic person, and it makes you really appre, you know, it makes you appreciative of the, of the things that, that go well in life. There is, there is that side like, but I’m not, but you know, clearly like getting, getting to that point past the pain is like the hard part, right?

I’m not like saying this is good that this happens. I’m just saying like, if once you get through it, I, I think you’ll, you know,

Sarma: I also, I also think there’s a tendency, I mean, I think there’s a strong correlation with, and I’m struggling with like, how to say this without sounding like I’m, I’m, I’m complimenting me and you, but I’m thereby probably also complimenting most of your listeners, which is, I think that, I mean, have you ever seen like a super depressed person who was just also [01:15:00] not bright?

I think that if you, if you have a certain level of thoughtfulness and I, I call it thoughtfulness, but a certain level of thoughtfulness and. Basic intelligence and inquisitiveness about the world, it’s almost inevitable that you’re gonna at some point struggle with depression because kind of how could you not in this strange and confusing, tragic world that we live in, which is also beautiful.

And I mean, it’s why so many creative people have also struggled with depression. But my point is, at least we’re not dodos, but you know what I mean? You know what I’m trying to say? It’s like I think that a lot of very thoughtful people Sure. Struggle with these things. Yeah. And I would at some point in life

Zach: and I would add, yeah, I, I think, um, I mean, I think you’re, you know, I think, I think people in general struggle, but I think it plays out in different ways, right?

Like if you’re a less intelligent person, it might play out in more like [01:16:00] clearly self-destructive ways, whereas like, you know, you might just do something completely. I think it helps explain a lot of like really outlandish or violent or weird things you hear about. For some people where it, it just to say, I think the thing, the things that you’ll struggle with and how you’ll function with it play out and can play out in very different ways.

Whereas like people that are more thoughtful and introspective, it will play out and, you know, also more thoughtful of introspective ways and Yeah.

Sarma: And being, you know, the opposite of the, the sort of sociopathic, malignant narcissist. The more you’re on the other end of that spectrum mm-hmm. Where you’re high in empathy, which is you blame yourself for everything.

Zach: Yeah, yeah.

Sarma: But also when you’re just, you know, all these things are correlated, like getting that diagnosis, being high on the empathy scale, I score super high on the, you know, are you a highly sensitive person? Quizzes, you know, yes. I, I’m not like a most of those questions, I’m a hell [01:17:00] yes. So I think being a, a kind of a sensitive, thoughtful person.

Um, it, it almost makes it inevitable that you’re gonna at least go through some periods or bouts of depression question. Yeah. Because you do more, you do

Zach: more, you do more introspection, more, more aiming at like, what’s wrong with me and you kind of things. Yeah. Feeling

Sarma: right. And also just feeling, feeling the tragedy of things.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, and feeling more sensitive, feeling it deeply. Yeah. So,

Zach: yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. Yeah. Uh, well thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I know, um, it’s hard to talk about, but I do hope that you, uh, find all the positives in life and, you know, see that, um, there’s, uh, you know, there, there, there are good things and um,

Sarma: yeah, there, there, there is that sort of, I mean, it’s a bit cliche and it’s sometimes annoying when people say, you know, the whole, like, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Zach: Yeah. That’s [01:18:00] such a, that’s such a cliche. It’s a massive, because it might kill you. Massive cliche.

Sarma: Right. But it might, it’s like it’s, but at the same time, there is an element of, of, uh, of like, yeah, I got through some pretty intense stuff,

Zach: right. Sometimes

Sarma: people read my book and they say, I can’t, I don’t understand how you’re still standing.

And they don’t even know what I went through subsequently or what I’m going through now. But there is, you’ve been through a lot of shit of like, of, of, of, you know, I think that I’m the kind of person now that you would want me on your team because I’m, I’m gonna stand up and like, I’m gonna keep getting up.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Sarma: If you knock down, you’ve through. So I’m gonna keep getting up, I’m gonna keep getting up, I’m gonna keep getting up and, and I, and I think I’m, you know, I certainly know how to handle myself better and better and I’m, and I’m a lot wiser, so, you know, I, ideally I can rebuild with that foundation.

Zach: No, it is, it is really impressive that what you’ve been through and that you’re, you know, you’re still, um.

Maintaining [01:19:00] a, a work ethic and a, and a positive attitude or, and trying to, it’s, you’ve been through a lot. It’s quite, um, it’s, it’s quite sad. And I, I feel for you. Um, do you wanna mention anything else about what you’re working on? Obviously you’ve got your, your book. Do you wanna promote anything else?

Sarma: Um, I’m writing more on Substack now and a combination of, yeah, I mean, very open stuff. And I’m also writing a bit about what’s been going on in the last couple of years. And I’m mostly on Instagram. I do answer all my dms for the most part, unless people are creepy. But, um, yeah, I’m on Instagram and I’m open to connecting to people that way.

And I love hearing from people who are reading my book. It’s, it’s one of the, I mean, the, it’s hard to explain how it feels. It really feels like. I feel honored when people read my book. That’s the only way I know how to [01:20:00] explain it. And, um, and especially, and then also I, I, I didn’t go through a big publisher, which we’ve talked about, and you know all about that.

It’s, it’s a very different story. You’re giving away so much control, but on the flip side, it’s harder to promote the book and there’s a lot of, um, I dunno if stigma’s the right word, but there’s like this assumption, especially among the people who are part of big publishing that. If you didn’t go through a big publisher, that means you tried and you weren’t able to, and it’s like, no, that’s not the case.

You know? Yeah. Um, but, but it is harder to, you know, promote the book initially. And, um, but I, I mean, I’m really glad I did it the way that I did it. I don’t think they would ever have let me include a lot of the stuff that I included, or they would’ve made me shorten it and it, it wouldn’t be the book that it is if I had gone through a big publisher.

But, um, I did make a website for the book where like, if people want a, a signed copy or they wanna get it from the [01:21:00] printer and not Amazon, which also is really much better for me, or if they wanna get it from Amazon, it’s all of those links are there. And, um, what’s the site? And then it’s just the title of the book, the Girl, the duck tattoo to.com.

And, um, and I’m on Instagram and I’m on Substack. And because I’m the only person in the world with my name, I’m easy to find. So,

Zach: yeah. I was gonna say, you’re, yeah, you’re a very good writer and you’ve done a lot of writing on your, um. Your previous, uh, blogs and such. And yeah, you’re very strong writer in my humble opinion.

Sarma: Thank you.

Zach: Okay, well thanks Sarma. This has been great. Uh, I really appreciate you, uh, sharing all these things and uh, yeah, best of luck with everything.

Sarma: Yeah, thanks.

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Reading and predicting jury behavior, with Christina Marinakis

This is a reshare of a 2018 talk with Christina Marinakis about reading and understanding jury behavior. Marinakis works for the firm Litigation Insights; you can see her bio here. There’s a transcript of the talk below.

Episode links:

TRANSCRIPT

Zach Elwood: Hello, and welcome to the People Who Read People podcast with me, Zach Elwood. This is a podcast about understanding other people and understanding ourselves. You can learn more about this podcast and sign up for updates at behavior-podcast.com. If you like the podcast, I ask that you leave me a review on iTunes, that’s the best way you can show your appreciation and encourage me to do more. I’ve been pretty busy working on my book aimed at reducing American anger and political polarization. So I’ll continue re-sharing some of my early interviews. This one will be a talk from 2018 with Christina Marinakis, a specialist in jury selection for the organization Litigation Insights. In this talk, I ask Christina about some of the more psychology and behavior-related aspects of jury selection.

When it comes to how people in serious high pressure jobs make use of psychology and behavior, I think it’s one of the more interesting talks I’ve done. It was my original goal with this podcast to talk to people from a wide variety of fields about how they read and make use of people’s behavior. Because I think there’s all sorts of interesting domain-specific knowledge out there that we just don’t hear much about unless we’re in those niche areas. And I think some of that knowledge can be valuable to people who work in other fields or even just in our personal lives by increasing our empathy and understanding of other people. I’ve been a bit distracted from that original goal due to my interest in political polarization, hopefully I’ll get back to that original focus as I have a long backlog of ideas for guests from various fields and pastimes that I’d love to interview. And if you ever have ideas of interesting people to interview or subjects to tackle, feel free to send me your thoughts via the website which is behavior-podcast.com.

One interesting recent thing about Christina Marinakis, she was a consultant for the prosecution in the case against Derek Chauvin in Minnesota. If you search for her name and Derek Chauvin, you can find some pieces about the jury consultancy work she did for that very high profile case. Okay, here’s the talk with Christina Marinakis. 

Today is September 24th, 2018, and today we have Dr. Christina Marinakis joining us. Dr. Marinakis’s education includes an undergraduate degree in bioscience psychology, a master’s in clinical psychology, a doctorate in psychology, and a law degree. She’s currently the director of jury research at Litigation Insights, a national trial consulting firm, and she has 17 years of jury research study and applied practice in law and psychology. Her case experience includes but is not limited to product liability, antitrust litigation, class action, legal and medical malpractice, contract disputes, patents, securities, fraud, and criminal work. And she does this work for both prosecutors and defendants. Dr. Marinakis contributed to a new edition of the book Pattern Voir Dire Questions, a compilation of tips for voir dire strategy. And that book includes over 2000 questions for investigating and a listening bias from potential jurors. Besides jury selection work, she also is hired for witness preparation and communication training, and that involves giving feedback to witnesses who are preparing to testify to make sure they’re perceived well by the jury. So today Dr. Marinakis and I will mainly be discussing jury selection, the basics of how the process works, how strategy and game theory can play a role in the process, and how an understanding of psychology and behavior can impact jury selection. So without further ado, welcome to the podcast Dr. Marinakis, thanks for coming on.

Dr. Marinakis: Thanks so much for having me.

Zach Elwood: So we’ve got a lot of interesting things to talk about today, and a lot of questions people will find interesting I think. So let’s jump right into those questions. Could you give a simple explanation of how the voir dire process works for people who don’t know much about that process?

Dr. Marinakis: Sure. So a lot of people refer to what we do as jury selection, but the more accurate term would be jury de-selection. We’re not really picking who we want on our jury, it’s more of an elimination process of picking who we don’t want on the jury. So there’s essentially three ways that you can get a juror off the panel. And the first way is through hardship. And so if a juror says that they have an extreme financial hardship or a personal hardship such as they are caring for a young child at home or caring for an infirm adult, the judge decides whether those people meet the statute for whether they should be excused for hardship. And the attorneys can often comment on that and can make arguments whether a juror meets that statutory hardship language, but that’s really a decision that ultimately rests with the judge. The second way that people can be removed from the jury panel is through what we call peremptory strikes or peremptory challenges. And in every case, both sides are permitted a certain number of what we call strikes, meaning that you can remove people from the panel for no reason at all, any reason, and you don’t even have to tell the other side or the judge what the reason is. Now there is an exception, and you can’t remove someone based on race, gender, or in some state’s sexual orientation. That is against the law. But other than that, you can remove that person from the panel and you don’t have to give a reason why. There’s a balance number of strikes per side, and that varies by jurisdiction. Most of the time in state cases and civil cases, it’s anywhere between three strikes per side to about six strikes per side. In some cases, if you have more than one defendant who has adverse interests, the judge might decide to allow you to have eight strikes per side if that’s what you want. But it’s always balanced. In criminal cases, it tends to be more, you might have up to 20 strikes per side, but that’s what we call peremptory challenges. And they usually alternate. So once you have a panel of jurors, usually the prosecution or the plaintiff will strike first and they’ll say, “We’d like to thank and excuse juror number four.” And then the defense goes and they say, “We’d like to thank and excuse juror number 12.” And it goes back and forth until both sides pass. So you can pass and try to save up your strikes. And so you might say, “We pass, we accept this panel,” the other side then makes a strike. Now you get to go back and make another strike. Now once both sides pass and they accept the panel, that’s your jury. So that’s the second way. And then the third way, which is really where a lot of the psychology comes in, is what we call cause challenges. And there’s an unlimited number of cause challenges. And what that involves is each side is trying to get the jurors that they don’t want on the panel to admit that they can’t be fair. There’s statutory language that differs by state in terms of what you need to get the jurors to say. For example, in California, there’s a number of ways you can get a juror, what we call, kicked off for cause. If they evidence enmity against or a bias in favor of one party or the other, that’s enough reason to get them off the jury panel. In most states, it’s whether they can be fair and impartial, but there’s certainly some differences. Again, in New York, they have to give an unequivocal assurance that they can be fair. If they can’t do that, they get kicked off for cause. So each side gets to question the jurors, and that’s what we call the voir dire process or if you’re in the staff they call it voir dire. And it’s a process where each side gets to ask jurors questions and ask follow up questions. And the ultimate goal is to identify the people that you don’t want on your panel without exposing the people that you do want, because if you expose those good jurors, now the other side is just going to be able to identify them and get them kicked off for cause or they might use one of their peremptory challenges if they can’t get the juror to say they can’t be fair. And so since there’s an unlimited number of those cause challenges, that’s really the end game, is the side that gets the better jury is really the side that is able to get as many of their bad jurors off for cause which gives you a leg up on the other side.

Zach Elwood: So how many people are typically starting out in a jury pool, jury selection pool, before the process starts?

Dr. Marinakis: It varies a lot by jurisdiction, but in general, I’d say you’d need anywhere from fifty to a hundred jurors. And sometimes it just depends on how many jurors sit on the final panel. So although many states have juries of 12, there are certain states like Maryland and Florida where you’re only sitting juries of six. So obviously you don’t need as many jurors. So the way they decide how many jurors we need is you take the number that are finally seated, whether that’s six or 12, and then you add up the number of strikes that each side has. So again, that could be anywhere from three to six. So just for example, if you have a jury of 12 and then each side has six strikes, that means you’re going to need at least 24 jurors, 12 for the box plus the 12 that are stricken. And then you want to have a couple extra jurors because you anticipate that some of those jurors are going to be gone for cause. Now the longer the trial is, the more jurors you need. Many of my clients have trials that run 5 to 12 weeks long, there’s going to be a lot more jurors who will have financial hardships. And so if you know your trial is going to be a longer trial, you might need to start with 200 jurors to get enough jurors for the final panel. If it’s only a three-day trial, you might be able to start out with 40 jurors and be just fine. Now, same thing goes with whether it’s a high profile case or involves some really sensitive issues. Clearly if you’re trying a case for Bill Cosby, there’s going to be a lot more jurors in the audience who have already formed an opinion about his guilt or innocence, and so you’re going to lose more jurors for cause.

Zach Elwood: Right. So when you ask the questions of the potential jurors, can you ask anyone questions or do you pick one person at a time or do you ask it to the group? How do you decide answers to those kind of questions?

Dr. Marinakis: Again, it varies by jurisdiction. Each state has different rules on how they conduct voir dire. The states that are in the northeast like New Jersey, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, New York, they question the jurors individually. So each juror comes back into the room, into the chambers, sometimes the judge is present, sometimes the judge is not present, and the parties ask the questions individually of each juror. Because of that, the jury selection process in those states can take several days up to several weeks in certain trials. Other states like Texas do a panel. So each person in the veneer, people that are sitting in the benches, will have a paddle almost like an auction that has their juror number. And then the attorneys have to ask the question of the entire group. “How many people feel like corporations put profits over safety?” Then people who think, “Yes,” they raise their panel, and you jot down their numbers and then you have to follow up with them. Most of the time the follow up is done in open court. There are some jurisdictions where you ask the questions of the entire group, but then any juror who raises their hand or raises their paddle then comes up to be questioned individually. So it just really depends on the rules and the court system. But usually the jurors are in a certain order. In the field, we call it a random list. Now the jurors may not realize what order they are in. Sometimes they’re seated in order in the courtroom, and sometimes they’re not. But the attorneys always have a list of who’s first and who’s coming up because the jurors they’re seated in an order or they’re in an order in a list. So if we have a list of 50 jurors and I know that we only need to get 24 to sit the jury, I’m only going to focus on those first 30 people on the list. There’s no point in me asking questions to the juror who’s seated in seat 60 because the chances that we’re going to get to that juror are very unlikely. Now once we start losing jurors for cause and losing jurors for hardship, we can calculate how deep into the panel we will get and know who we need to ask questions of.

Zach Elwood: But you know the order, so there’s theoretically some reading ability that you could base on how a person acts or looks theoretically to know something about what some of their stances might be theoretically if you know the order.

Dr. Marinakis: Certainly. I’d say we know the order at least 90% of the time. And so we’re looking at who are those people in the first group of 30. And many times we get a little bit of information about those people. It might just be a card that has their occupation, their marital status, maybe the ZIP code where they live, their age, or sometimes we get a huge questionnaire where they filled out several pages of questions. Now, the other thing and I anticipate we’ll get more into this that we do is we’ll look up these jurors, we get the list of names and immediately start looking up folks LinkedIn profiles, their Facebook, their blogs, their public records. So we have an idea of who is on our panel. And then there is a little bit of stereotyping. So if I’m representing a corporate defendant, most likely people that are wearing business suits are going to be good for my side. I’m not going to start off asking those folks questions. I’d probably start off asking questions of people who might look to be more blue collar or maybe aren’t dressed as sharply, maybe look like they’re of a lower economic status who are more likely to identify with a plaintiff who’s suing that large corporation. I’d target my questions to those people first. Now the other thing we do is we’d ask one of those general questions again, “How many people think corporations put profits over safety?” If 10 people raise their hand to that question, I’m going to go to those 10 people first to do the follow-ups.

Zach Elwood: Got you. So the legal process often seems like a game with its team versus team nature and its sometimes obscure roles that can lead to complex strategies. And this seems especially the case for the voir dire process. Is there a lot of strategy and game theory involved? I guess you’ve already answered a little bit of this, but…

Dr. Marinakis: Absolutely. The best jury consultants and attorneys who participate in voir dire are able to anticipate the next side’s move and what the consequences of that move will be. So when I’m trying to decide who we want on the panel, the only way we can do that is through the striking process. I have to think about if I strike this juror, who’s going to take their place? So if there’s 12 jurors on the panel, I strike juror number four. Now juror number 13 is going to move into that seat. Well, now the panel composition has changed, and I have to think about now who is the other side going to strike. If the other side strikes juror number nine, now juror number 14 is going to move into that seat. And you have to be able to anticipate who is the other side going to strike and who is going to move into those seats and how many strikes do you have left. If you use your strikes on someone who is a juror you might not want but not the worst juror, well, if someone worse takes their seat and you run out of strikes, now you end up with a undesirable jury. The other thing that I mentioned was the passing system. So I might strike a juror, if the other side passes, they could pass because they think that there’s someone on the panel that I must strike, a juror that I cannot have on there. So they would pass in order to start saving up their strikes because ultimately that gives you an advantage. If you’ve got four strikes left, the other side only has two strikes, now you’re able to control the panel easier. However, you can call the other side’s bluff. And if the other side passes and you pass, now you’re stuck with that panel. So there could be someone on the panel that they don’t want and they’re passing because they think that you need to strike somebody and then you pass, now you’re stuck with the panel. So it absolutely is a game of chess. And because it moves so quickly, it’s really a game of speed chess.

Zach Elwood: Right. You said for a lot of them they can be only 30 minutes long.

Dr. Marinakis: Right. And really that’s the process for asking jurors questions, when it comes to doing your strikes, it’s right there in court. The judge usually won’t even give you time to confer with your co-counsel. They’ll just say, “Okay, plaintiff, what do you want to do?” And then you make your strike immediately.

Zach Elwood: So it goes very quick?

Dr. Marinakis: Yes. Immediately the defense says, “Okay, plaintiff, who do you want to strike?” And the actual striking process can occur within a minute.

Zach Elwood: And are the potential jurors in the room at that point too?

Dr. Marinakis: Depends on the state. In California, you say, “We’d like to thank and excuse juror number four.” And the juror number four gets up, they leave the courtroom. The next juror the judge will say, “Okay, juror number 14, now you take their place. Now the other side, you strike,” and it works like that. In other jurisdictions, they say, “Okay, attorneys, you’ve got one minute, write down the six people you want to strike.” Other side does the same. And then you submit the list, the judge cuts those people, and you’re done. And you don’t get to see the other side, it’s not a back and forth process. The funny thing is sometimes when you do that, both sides end up striking the same person which is interesting. Either they’re concerned that they don’t know that person well enough and they’re afraid to leave them on the panel or sometimes one side or the other just gets the juror wrong.

Zach Elwood: Oh, that’s interesting. That sounds like a very stressful process for having to be done so quick. I mean, it sounds like that could easily lead to some frayed nerves.

Dr. Marinakis: Right. The jury selection process isn’t for anyone, there’s a lot of different consultants who work with attorneys, and some of them just do the witness work that you mentioned earlier, where you’re working directly with witnesses, working on their communication strategy. And some consultants just do the jury selection piece, because they really require two different skill sets. And it’s not for everybody, you really have to be able to have calm under pressure, to be able to think quickly, anticipate the other side’s moves, and really just having an excellent memory and being able to remember exactly what each juror said and having great organizational skills, being able to keep track of who’s on the list, who’s coming up next, what did they say.

Zach Elwood: Right, that’s a lot of factors, yeah. So considering all that work and complexity, how much influence do you think voir dire strategy has on a case, in your opinion?

Dr. Marinakis: A lot. It’s almost sad to say, but I think the composition of the jury has a bigger influence on the outcome of the verdict than the facts of the case sometimes. The other piece of my work is performing mock trials. So before a case goes to trial, we will present the case to people in the community, many people, sometimes up to 60 people. And test the case with them to see what the likely outcome is and what the strengths and weaknesses are of the case. I can tell you in the many, many years I’ve been doing this, I have never had a case where all the people agree on the verdict, never. Yet they’re hearing the same exact evidence, hearing the same exact arguments, and yet they view the evidence differently. And that’s because each of us has our own experiences and our attitudes and our history that creates a lens. And we view the facts of the case through that lens. And because of our backgrounds, we either accept and remember the things that are consistent with our preexisting beliefs or we reject, we forget, we misinterpret things that don’t correspond with our preexisting beliefs. And so the same piece of evidence is going to be viewed differently depending on your outlook. And so you can’t necessarily change the facts of the case, but you can change the lens that it’s going to be viewed through. And so ultimately the jury selection piece and deciding who’s on the jury will decide how the facts, the evidence, and the arguments get interpreted.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. That can give you a sort of pessimistic view of how likely a defendant is going to get a fair trial, just makes me think of that. And so I’m wondering, how much do you see jury selection as working on behalf of your client and how much of that process is a collaborative attempt from both sides to make a jury most fair? Or is it, I guess, one could lead to the other?

Dr. Marinakis: Well, really our system in the United States is based on an adversarial system. There’s other countries out there where they have a single judge or a panel of people who are supposed to be neutral and who decide the case and decide the legal issues. And I think the great thing about our system is it is adversarial, but I think that leads to better, more accurate results. If you have one person like a judge or a supposedly neutral panel deciding the case, who’s going to challenge that panel when they make mistakes? Who’s going to challenge that panel’s bias? Because people are still people. And so someone may be a neutral moderator or a neutral panel of observers, but even those people are going to have their own biases. And if there’s not an adversary or someone on the other side pointing out those mistakes or those flaws, that’s going to lead to a flawed system. Now because our system is adversarial, we are pointing out the mistakes in the other side’s case, the holes in the other side’s case, the injustices in the other side’s case. And ultimately that leads to a better truth. If you’ve got two people arguing and really fighting for their position, that helps weed out the truth for a neutral fact finder. And the same thing is true of jury selection. So while I’m doing that for my client and trying to get off the jurors from the panel that are the worst for my case, the other side’s doing the exact same thing and they’re trying to get off their worst jurors. The end result is really to get a fair and impartial jury, but honestly, that’s not my goal, my goal is to get the best jury for my client, the other side’s jury consultant, that’s their goal to get the best jury. And maybe the person who’s more skilled will get the better jury in the end, but most of the time you end up with a fair panel.

Zach Elwood: Got you. Let’s move on to the behavioral psychology part of the interview. And I’ll ask you, what role does physical behavior play in a typical jury selection process?

Dr. Marinakis: Sure. There’s really two things that we’re looking for when we’re observing people’s behavior. And one of them is to identify how they’re answering the questions. Because whether a juror is a good juror or a bad juror or even if it’s just the difference between a bad juror and a very bad juror, sometimes depends on not what they say, but how they say it. So for example, there may be many people in the audience or in the, we call them the veneer, who have had maybe a negative experience with something, maybe this is an employment case. Let’s pretend it’s an employment case, I’m representing a company who’s being sued because they discharged someone and they’re being alleged for wrongful termination. So there may be multiple people there who have been fired from a job, but how they respond to that situation will determine who I get rid of on the panel. I might say, “How was that experience when you lost your job?” If one person says, “That was a tough experience,” another person says, “I was devastated,” there’s a difference. And if I only have one strike and I need to exercise it, choose between those two individuals, I’m going to strike the person who says they were devastated and they say it with a sigh, and you can see the pain in their face as opposed to someone who says, “Yeah, it was tough.” To me the person who says, “Yeah, it was tough,” they say it quickly, they don’t seem upset, they were able to move on versus someone who might still be clinging on to the pain of that experience. So I’m looking at their facial expressions. Do they look pained? Do they have a furrowed brow? Are they hesitant? Is there a quiver in their voice? Their body language, do they look sullen and sulky? Or are they confident and able to move past it? Same thing goes in cases where maybe we’re dealing with a cancer case and the plaintiffs are alleging that my client corporation’s product cause their cancer. A lot of people have had losses due to cancer in their life, but it’s how they dealt with those losses and how it still affects them today that determines whether they’d be a good juror or not. So again, I’ll ask them, “Tell me about that experience.” And if they look like they’re on the verge of tears and they’re having a hard time talking about it and then they say, “But yeah, I can still be fair to your client,” I’m going to have a hard time believing that they can really be fair to my client versus someone who says, “Yeah, it was really tough when we lost our mother, but we enjoyed our time that we had with her.” How that person dealt with that situation will determine how they view the evidence and that filter and that lens that they see the evidence in your case. Go ahead.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I was going to say, one of the things that I was remembering from the voir dire book is looking for reactions, when someone’s being questioned, someone else might have a reaction like shaking their head slightly. You had one example of someone shaking their head in what they thought was probably a very subtle, minor reaction to a question someone else was asked, but that enabled you to say, “Oh, this guy probably has some anger and some bias on this issue.” So looking for reactions like that.

Dr. Marinakis: Absolutely. It’s interesting because we ask these questions, how many people feel this way? And there’s always people who don’t raise their hand. Usually they just don’t want to speak in front of a hundred strangers and talk about their biases in front of a bunch of people or they’re shy or they just don’t like public speaking, which is most people. So if I’m talking to someone who did raise their hand and I see someone else who’s making faces, who’s nodding along or maybe disagreeing, maybe I’ll follow up on them and I’ll say, “Mr. Smith, I know you didn’t raise your hand to that question, but I saw you nodding along, do you feel the same way?” And then that juror might now open up that, yeah, they probably should have raised their hand. And so each person shows their emotions differently. There are some people who wear their emotions on their sleeve, and they’re nodding along and they’re making facial expressions and they’re wincing or they’re furrowing their brow or they’re scoffing or laughing, and then other people are very stoic. So certainly some people are more difficult to read than others, but those are all cues that I’m watching for when both my client is asking the questions and when the opposing counsel is asking their questions. If they’re asking questions and I see folks in the audience who are either agreeing or disagreeing with them, that gives me some insight into whether that juror would be good or bad for my client.

Zach Elwood: How often would you or how often in general will lawyers face decisions or follow up questions on the physical behavior or behavior in general of potential jurors? I was just wondering how often it played a role, many times or seldom?

Dr. Marinakis: For me, it plays a role every time. Most of the time my clients are focusing on the conversation, and they need to do that. They need to be tuned in to what people are saying. They can’t both watch the audience and question jurors at the same time. That’s why it’s important to have a consultant or someone else there who can do the watching for you. So they might not even realize the different body language and reactions that people are having or they just don’t have the experience to identify what that means. And it’s very easy to misinterpret body language if you haven’t seen it over and over and over again. But for every person, I’m looking at them, seeing how they respond to questions. And then I didn’t get to the second thing that I’m looking for, which I think is even more important, is signs of group dynamics. And ultimately a jury decision is a group decision, whether it needs to be unanimous or whether it’s 9 out of 12 or something similar, it all depends on who you have on the jury and what are their personalities. So I’m not just thinking about who’s going to be a good or bad juror for my case, but who’s going to be a leader in the deliberation room, who’s going to be a follower, who’s going to be what we call a consensus builder, someone who’s going to try to get everybody to agree. Oftentimes you think teachers, they tend to be consensus builders. They try to get people to negotiate. You’re also looking for people who are what we call contrarians. A contrarian is someone who will always challenge the status quo. They like to play devil’s advocate. And then you’re also looking for people who might alienate others. Someone might be a great juror, but if they’re kind of a unique individual or maybe a little weird or maybe they just smell bad, are they going to alienate the rest of the jurors and people aren’t going to want to agree with that person? He might be a great juror, but I’m not going to want him on my jury if I feel like he has a possibility of alienating others. So I’m looking at how jurors interact with one another, who’s having lunch with who, who’s talking with whom in the hallways, who’s opening the door for everybody, passing out pens, that person’s probably going to be someone who’s a consensus builder. Or people who are making jokes who other people are laughing, that person has a possibility of being a leader, who respects whom? So you’re really looking at the jurors and how they interact to determine how they’re likely to interact once they get in the deliberation room. And that plays a huge role in determining how I’m going to exercise my strikes.

Zach Elwood: And there’s different applications for recognizing there’s different types of people. For example, we might talk about this more later, but one example you gave was when there’s a contrarian in the group, you might want them on the panel if you think that they might lead to a hung jury in your favor, right? You might want that kind of person in there.

Dr. Marinakis: Right. So it depends on the facts of your case, your client, your attorneys, what kind of group dynamics you want. And it also depends on the jurisdiction. There’s some jurisdictions and some cases that require unanimous verdict, and other cases you only need 9 out of 12. So I think you’re referring to I had one criminal case, and I don’t do that many criminal cases, but we do a few a year. And in this criminal case, the evidence was really stacked against my client for the most part. It was a murder case that involved a strangulation, and my client’s DNA was found on the murder victim’s neck and cell phone and then also on the knob of a stove, and the gas on the stove had been turned on all the way up, and a candle had been placed next to it, presumably so that they could blow up the crime scene. So we thought this would be a very challenging case given the popularity of DNA evidence in shows. At the time CSI was really big or Criminal Minds. And so we had some serious concerns that we would lose the case for our client, who we believed was innocent. And so we thought that probably the best we could get was to get a hung jury. And so we were looking for a contrarian who would be able to challenge no matter what the group thought, would always play devil’s advocate, would stand his ground and be a strong voice and ultimately hang the jury. So we looked for someone who in the process, the jury selection process, was challenging everything. The judge says, “Sit in this order,” “Well, why do I need to sit in this order?” “Here’s a piece of paper, call this number.” They’re just always challenging the bailiff, the other jurors, the judge even, and really are expressing unique views. So any time an attorney would ask a question, they might say, “Well, yeah, that’s true most of the time, but other people, other times this happens.” And so immediately we were able to identify this juror as a contrarian, and I don’t think the other side really did. This contrarian was dressed well, he was a successful banker, and so I think the prosecution thought he would be a good juror for their case. Usually people that are higher SES, Republican tend to be more likely to decide for prosecution in criminal cases. So they left him on the jury. We left him on the jury because he was contrarian, and ultimately he was the one that fought on behalf of our defense. Just briefly, our defense was DNA transfer, that our client had used a towel in the victim’s apartment, and that the murderer, the true killer, used that towel to then clean the crime scene to wipe the victim’s neck, to wipe the knob, and he transferred the DNA from the towel to the crime scene. And it’s a very unconventional defense, there is scientific basis to it, but it’s not well known. And so this juror who was the contrarian was able to argue that, and ultimately we ended up not with a hung jury, but with a full acquittal for our client.

Zach Elwood: Oh, wow. Okay. Let’s talk a little bit about some specific behaviors from the potential jurors. Does eye contact tells come into play at all? How they look at you and you can read maybe some anger, frustration from the questions you’re asking, does that play a role ever?

Dr. Marinakis: It does play a role, but I really caution against trying to, what we call, reading tea leaves. Because oftentimes the signs of nervousness are often the same signs as someone who might be lying. And so this is what we work with our witnesses a lot with in terms of building their credibility. So someone who’s not making eye contact, it could be that they’re just nervous, especially jurors. I mean, being asked questions in front of a group of people by lawyers and judges is very unnatural for them. And so most of the time there’s a lot of jurors who are nervous to do so. And they might not be making eye contact because of that, not because they’re not telling the truth. So you really have to be cautious. Same thing with people whose arms are crossed. There’s sometimes lawyers or clients or jurors who feel like if someone’s arms are crossed, they’re being standoffish, they don’t like your position. Well, maybe that person is just cold. Or sometimes if someone has a big belly, it’s comfortable to put your arms on top of your belly.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, exactly. You always hear that stereotype about the arms crossed being standoffish. Just because of that, even though I know it’s often untrue, but I find myself uncrossing my arms in groups just because I don’t want people to think I’m standoffish, even though I’m not. So yeah, it’s like everything, it’s often ambiguous and doesn’t give you as much information as some people think.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. And so that’s when we work with our witnesses, we work with them on things, uncross your arms, make good eye contact, because we don’t want their nervousness or personal ticks or habits to be misconstrued as untruthfulness. What we do look for though is inconsistencies in how someone is reacting depending on who’s speaking. So for example, if someone has their arms crossed both when the plaintiff is asking the questions and when the defense attorney is asking the questions, it probably doesn’t mean anything. But if their arms are always crossed only when the defense lawyer is speaking and yet they’re sitting forward and they look more attentive and they’re leaning in when the plaintiff attorney is speaking, I might take notice of that and then try to make an interpretation from the differences in their behavior. So it’s not the behavior themselves, but how it differs between who’s speaking and what evidence is being shown.

Zach Elwood: Looking for those imbalances in behavior, as we sayin poker a lot imbalances.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. So let’s see, what else do I have on this list? Are there certain things that prospective jurors often lie about such as knowing how to read or using drugs in the past, things like that?

Dr. Marinakis: I think more often than not people are honest. I mean, most jurors are told they have to swear to tell the truth, and I think most people do take that very seriously. Certainly you hear stories about people trying to get off of jury duty maybe pretending that they can’t speak English or that they can’t read or write or the big thing is pretending that they’re racist, even though it’s often silly, because race rarely plays a role in these cases. But more often than not, I think people are trying to be honest. The bigger issue is that most people are unaware of their own biases. People want to think of themselves as good people, fair people. And so regardless of their backgrounds, most people will say, “Yes, I can still set that experience aside and be fair and impartial.” But usually they do have biases, in the industry we call them implicit biases, that people are unaware of, but that will influence how they view the evidence in the case. And so my role is not to necessarily detect lying, but to detect these implicit biases and get the juror to ultimately realize that they can’t be fair. And we have a number of techniques that we use to do that to try to get a juror to realize that maybe this isn’t the case for them, and they actually, despite their best efforts, can’t be fair to my client.

Zach Elwood: That was an interesting thing in the book with the voir dire suggested questions. The book was aimed at trying to get strategies for getting potential jurors to admit, verbally admit, their bias and walk them through. Once they started to show bias, get them to verbally admit in a clear way, “Yes, I’m biased. I can’t be unbiased on this.” So that was interesting seeing those strategies in that book.

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah. It’s a difficult thing to do, again, because most people feel like they can be fair. So you really have to get the juror to feel the bias. So here’s just an example, instead of just coming right out of the gate and saying, “Who here is going to have a hard time setting aside sympathy for this person with cancer?” You can’t ask that question right away because not that many people are going to raise their hand. But if you preface it with, “Mrs. Smith has been through dozens of surgeries. She’s spent months in the hospital. She can’t breathe because of this illness, it’s like suffocating.” And you start to describe it that way. “Her family has had to quit their jobs. They’ve had to put their house on the market to pay these medical bills.” Now all of a sudden you start to conjure up these images and these emotions, and now the juror can really start to feel in the gut of their stomach that sympathy and emotion. So I’m going to build that first, and then I’ll say, “Okay, given all that, who’s going to have a hard time at the end of this case looking at Mrs. Smith and her husband and her children in the eye and telling them, ‘You know what, we can’t give you any money because you didn’t prove your case.’ How many of you think you’re going to have a hard time doing that?” So now they felt that emotion, and you’re going to get more people that raise their hand to that question than you would have if I came right out of the gate and asked it.

Zach Elwood: And you would be asking that from the other side, you wouldn’t be asking that from the plaintiff’s side?

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. And I should have brought this up in the beginning, my firm, we primarily represent defendants in civil cases. So we might work for plaintiffs every now and then, but probably more than 90% of the time we’re representing the company, the corporation or the manufacturer, the employer, we’re usually on the side of trying to identify people who are going to have a hard time setting aside their sympathies.

Zach Elwood: Right. We’ll talk more about that later about some specific strategies. So my next up question is, how many of the decisions you make are based on quick read kind of stereotypes? For example, this person’s an older blue collar woman, she might have certain stances, or this person’s piercings and tattoos would make them more likely to side with the underdog, the plaintiff. How much do those kinds of stereotypes play in general would you say?

Dr. Marinakis: It depends on the jurisdiction and how much you can question the jurors. What we like to say is that a juror’s attitudes are the most predictive way of how they’re going to view the evidence, but there are some states and some judges that won’t let you ask about the juror’s attitudes, you can only ask about their experiences. Now, sometimes experiences correlate with attitudes. So the fact that someone maybe has had a relative with cancer might mean that they’re more empathetic. Now it might not, but it could. There’s some jurisdictions where you don’t even get to ask about that. You might only get to see their demographics. And if a juror doesn’t raise their hand, there’s no opportunity to ask follow up questions and yet you need to make a decision whether to keep or to strike that juror based on someone that you’ve never even spoken to. And unfortunately, you have to rely on stereotypes because the truth is stereotypes are a statistical advantage. I gave an example that I’m a white woman, and if you went to Starbucks and you didn’t have time to call me to ask me what I wanted from Starbucks, and you ordered me a pumpkin spice latte. Now more often than not, you would be right that a white woman would enjoy a pumpkin spice latte. Now, me personally, I hate them, so you would’ve been wrong. But even if it’s just 6 out of 10 white women who like pumpkin spice lattes, you’ve now increased your odds of getting the right answer. And in my field, it’s all about increasing odds. You will never be able to 100% predict anything, but if you can increase your odds of getting the right person, that’s the end game. And unfortunately, it’s awful that sometimes you have to use a stereotype because it’s not going to apply to everybody, but it’s a statistical advantage.

Zach Elwood: You’re kind of forced into it. I mean, you have a very limited amount of time to make decisions on very limited information. So you’re just trying to pull information from wherever you can, even if it’s not the greatest information.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. So if 6 out of 10 times a blue collar worker is going to side with the plaintiff and all I know about this person is that they’re a blue collar worker and I have to decide between them and a white collar worker, you’re right, I would probably strike the blue collar worker if that’s all I had to go on, because that’s the best chances that I have. So that’s why we really advocate to judges, “Please let us talk to individuals, let us get to know them,” because otherwise we’re left making unfair and quite frankly, unconstitutional, if we’re basing our decision on race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other what we call cognizable group, that’s unconstitutional. But if a judge doesn’t give us an opportunity to ask questions, then that’s all we have to go on.

Zach Elwood: Right. It does seem strange considering what you’ve said, and it does seem logical that the voir dire jury selection process is very important. I’m surprised that the time limits given are so short.

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah. It just really depends on the judge. And some judges don’t see the value, and they feel like, “Well, people can be fair and impartial, the case should rest on the evidence.” But I don’t think those judges have sat in on all the mock trials that we have to see how much the juror’s background really influences the verdict.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. It’s a very optimistic view of the average jury I feel like. That stance that, “Oh, it’ll all be the same probably.” So are there laws pertaining to researching jurors like looking at their social media accounts? You had mentioned that, and I was just wondering if that was always allowed or not sometimes.

Dr. Marinakis: Presently there are no laws that prohibit researching jurors. There are however ethical rules for attorneys and for people who work for attorneys about contacting jurors. So what constitutes contact can often vary, and there’s an opinion out there that basically says that even if you don’t initiate the contact but you cause a contact, that could be an ethical violation. So here’s an example. If you look at someone’s LinkedIn page and you are not logged in the privacy settings, that person will get a notification that says, “Christina Marinakis viewed your page.” Under certain court rules, that’s a violation because that is a direct contact between the jury, even though I never sent the juror a message, I never tried to request them, to connect with them, because now they know that I looked at their page, that’s a violation. So really if you’re doing research on jurors, you need to understand the applications and the platforms that you’re using and the settings to ensure that there’s no unauthorized contact.

Zach Elwood: So you got to be very sneaky.

Dr. Marinakis: And just ethical. You can’t go around the rules and say, “Okay, well, I can’t friend request you, but I’m going to have my secretary friend request you so I can see your private page,” that is against the ethics rules. And I say ethics, but ethics rules are also actual rules. If you violate those, you could lose your license and you could lose the case. So those are the rules and laws that pertain, but there’s really no limit unless a judge has particularly said, “In this case you cannot search the jurors.” So it’s really more judge-based, but in my career I’ve only had one judge who ever did that. And that’s because the jury consultant for the other side had her laptop up and was looking at jurors pages, and one of the jurors saw it and reported to the judge that it made them uncomfortable when they saw their Facebook page on the…

Zach Elwood: That would not make you feel very safe.

Dr. Marinakis: Right. But everything that we do search, and this is unlike probably what you’ve seen in TV or movies, everything is public records. We do not search anything that is private. So, yes, we might look at property, deeds or vehicle registrations, history of bankruptcies, liens, criminal records, these are all public documents that anybody could find if they had enough time.

Zach Elwood: You’re not hiring a private investigator, it’s open source. Got you. How often is your read of a juror accurate?

Dr. Marinakis: It’s hard to calculate, but it’s something that I do keep track of because I always feel like… People ask me, “How many cases have you won?” And I don’t feel like that’s a good indication of whether you’re a good consultant. Sometimes the facts of the case are bad or you can only control who’s on the jury panel and you only get so many people to strike. But what I feel like is an indication of whether you’re a good jury consultant is what you say, how often do you get a person right? And so I’ve kept track of it, and I feel like overall it’s about 10 out of 12 that I’m able to identify whether they’d be a plaintiff juror or defense juror. And we often try to predict who’s going to be a leader versus a follower, and I think about 10 out of 12 times we’re right. Sometimes it’s 12 out of 12. I think that’s pretty good. I don’t know what other people’s stats are, I’ve never compared it with anyone else, but me personally, I have kept track of that.

Zach Elwood: That’s interesting.

Dr. Marinakis: And some people are more difficult to read than others certainly, so it does vary from case to case. Sometimes I’ll get all 12, sometimes it might only be 9 out of 12, but I usually say there’s always one or two that surprise you.

Zach Elwood: Are you able to say or see after the trial is over what every juror voted or how it worked, what the breakdown was, if that makes sense?

Dr. Marinakis: Yes. So in every case, either the jurors have to sign the form. So say there’s 12 jurors, and we’ll say, “Okay, everyone who agrees with this verdict must sign the form.” So you’ll get to see the names of the people who signed it versus the people who didn’t. There’s also something called polling the jury. So the jury foreperson might say, “Okay, we the jury find the defendant liable, not liable.” And then counsel can request to poll the jury. And they’ll say, “Juror number one, is this your verdict? Yes or no? Juror number two, is this your verdict? Yes or no?” I think you might have seen that if you watched the OJ Simpson or one of those documentaries, that they poll the jury to see. And then oftentimes we interview the jurors afterwards. We talk to them individually, we do interviews, we take them to lunch to really find out what they thought of the case, what were the strengths and weaknesses, and how can we improve for other future cases?

Zach Elwood: Yeah. I would think that would be very interesting just to break down how these people you chose at the beginning of the process went through the whole process and what their thought processes were along the way. It seems like that would be very interesting.

Dr. Marinakis: Oh, absolutely. One of my favorite things to do is if I’ve been involved in the jury selection is then to interview folks afterwards. And it’s funny, because almost always I finish the interview and I say, “What questions do you have for me?” And inevitably they say, “Why did you pick me?” I don’t go into this entire podcast, but we talk about how people’s backgrounds can influence how they view the evidence, and really it’s not that we pick them, it’s just we didn’t pick to get rid of them.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, you didn’t not pick them. You didn’t strike them. Let’s see what else we have here. How often is it that potential jurors act angry or aggressive or act out in order to give the impression that they really don’t want to be there? And does that make them more likely to be rejected by acting that way?

Dr. Marinakis: I don’t think people are acting when they do that, I think they’re legitimately distressed, especially a lot of the cases that I do are multiple week trials, and it is very nerve-wracking for most people to even think about having to miss six weeks of work or having to miss a vacation if that’s what they think or not being able to pick up their child from school every day for the next six weeks. That is very anxiety provoking. Some people handle it better than others, but I have definitely seen people break down, cry, throw a temper tantrum, and I don’t think they’re acting, I think they’re really in distress when that occurs. And ultimately this goes back to the hardship issue, and so it’s the judge’s decision whether to let that person be excused or not. But there are certainly times where someone is so distressed and maybe they don’t meet the statutory requirement to be excused, and the judge will kind of look at the attorney and say, “Well, what do you guys think? Do you want to agree to let this person go or not?” And sometimes we’ll look at the other side and say, “Do we really want this kind of bad karma? Is this good for either of us?” Probably not, because that juror might take it out on one side or the other. They could take it out on the plaintiff for filing a frivolous lawsuit or they could take it out on the defendant for refusing to settle what they see as a legitimate lawsuit or it might not bother them at all once they get seated.

Zach Elwood: Wild card.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. And usually neither side is willing to take that chance and will agree to excuse the person. But again, it ultimately rests with the judge. And if the judge says, “Look, they don’t meet the statute.” Say for example, they say they have an extreme financial hardship, but the truth of the matter is they actually get paid for a lot of the days of jury service or they’ve got a savings account, and it’s not as extreme as someone who doesn’t get paid at all. That judge might refuse to let them go. Personally, I wouldn’t waste one of my precious strikes on someone like that.

Zach Elwood: That’s what I was going to ask, is if you have someone who both sides suspect they want to get rid of, because somebody has to strike that person and you don’t want to waste strikes, and so it seems like there’s not a good way to collaboratively strike a person. So it’s kind of wasting a strike if you do it.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. And neither side will be willing to do that, usually the judge will. If someone is truly, truly that distressed, most of the times most judges will let the person be excused. Or the other thing is if the juror gives a hint of a cause challenge. Maybe it’s a cancer case and their mother just died of cancer, we could say, “Okay, plaintiffs, you agree that this juror probably couldn’t be fair, right?” [wink, wink] And we agree to excuse the juror on cause basis, but it’s really truly because we just think the juror’s going to be disrupted

Zach Elwood: Not using the strikes, right, yeah. So you can still find a cause that you don’t have to use strikes for. I was wondering about, I don’t think we’ve talked much about those initial questionnaires, and when do you use those written questionnaires versus doing them more in person?

Dr. Marinakis: We almost always suggest to our clients to submit a questionnaire. And that’s just because people tend to be more candid when they’re writing something down versus in open court in front of a bunch of strangers. But especially in cases that involve sensitive issues. So I’m involved in a rape case that’s coming up, and this judge never uses questionnaires, but we feel strongly that it is to the disadvantage of everyone in the courtroom to try to ask questions about people’s abuse history in open court. That puts everyone in a bad position, the judge, the lawyers, the juror. But we need to ask those questions because it’s important to know their background and history. So we’re going to advocate strongly to this judge like, “Look, this case is very unique. We don’t want to embarrass jurors, but we need to get these questions answered. So pleas allow us to use this questionnaire.” And we present the questionnaire to the judge in advance, and hopefully the judge will agree to that.

Zach Elwood: You wrote a piece on the TV show Bull, which I’ve never seen, but that show is based loosely on Dr. Phil McGraw’s jury consultancy business. It seems quite exaggerated from what you wrote of it, which is not surprising considering it’s a TV show. One of the things you wrote about it was in the pilot episode, Dr. Bull shows his client an ultra high-tech jury monitoring system complete with over a dozen flat screens and devices that monitor mock jurors physiological reactions through palm reading devices. It claims to have a system exclusively used by Homeland Security to collect a wealth of information about jurors and their family members that cannot be obtained elsewhere. So can you talk a little bit about how unrealistic and exaggerated that is?

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah. And I think I already touched on that. He talks about using Homeland Security to get private information. That’s not something that we could do. Even if we had the technological capability to do it, ethically, legally, that’s not something that we would do. And the biggest thing I’ve noticed about the show, and I’ve only seen a couple episodes, is they talk about it in terms of a 100% guarantee. “We can 100% predict whether someone will be a plaintiff juror or defense juror based on their physiological responses or their responses to questions,” and it’s never 100%. My whole occupation is based on increasing the odds, increasing the odds that this juror will be favorable. And in the show they use what they call mirror jurors, in our industry we actually call them shadow jurors, where we try to find people who are similar to people who are on the actual jury. And they sit in the audience during the trial and watch, and we talk to them at the end of the day. The value in that is not being able to predict exactly what the jury’s going to do, the value is in learning what are the strengths and weaknesses of our case. What is confusing? What do we need to clear up on? What are some things that might be bothersome? It’s more of that qualitative feedback than a quantitative statistical prediction of what the actual jury’s going to do. And that’s because no two people are alike. You can find a mirror juror or a shadow juror who’s very similar to someone, but surely they haven’t had the exact same life experiences. You never know how someone’s experiences are going to influence how they view the evidence.

Zach Elwood: Right, you’re just trying to get another set of hopefully somewhat similar eyes to give you different points of view and feedback. So in the voir dire questionnaire book that you helped write, you had some strategies for listening bias from potential jurors. And I really like this strategy that you talked about in there of downplaying the strengths of your case during voir dire, in essence drawing jurors out to reveal the strength of their prejudice. And in the book, there’s an example where by giving a very simple synopsis of their side’s case, the jury then let its biases be known, was more willing to let its biases be known by seeing the weaknesses in that case. And the most prejudiced people, most biased people were more easily exposed. And doing that too, the other side of the case was not able to know who to strike because most of the potential jurors were focused on the weakness of one side of the case. So that strategy made a little bit of sense, and I wonder if you’d talk about that a little bit more and I’m wondering, is it a pretty well known and standard strategy?

Dr. Marinakis: So this is what I like to call throwing your mini opening. I should start off by saying in most jurisdictions the lawyers are allowed to give a little synopsis of the case before they start questioning jurors to help orient the jurors to what is the case about and what is each side’s main arguments. And this is a very counterintuitive approach, and I’ve actually never seen it done before. I don’t want to say I invented it because I don’t know what other jury consultants are doing. But I had noticed that when my clients were giving very strong mini openings and coming right out of the box and saying, “You know what, our product was approved by the FDA, the plaintiff who is alleging it caused her cancer has a family history of genetics, and we firmly believe that our client did not cause her cancer.” They open up with that type of what we call mini opening, now all of a sudden you start getting jurors raising their hands who are saying, “Well, wait a minute. If your product is approved by the FDA, then I’m already on your side. If she’s got a family history of cancer, then no way your product caused her cancer. I can’t be fair.” And now we’ve just lost our best jurors in the case are now gone for cause. And so I noticed that was happening, and I thought there’s got to be a better way. So I then recommended to a client who trusted me, I’ve worked with him a lot, we’ve never had a bad verdict ever. And I said, “You know what, I think you need to throw your mini opening. Don’t get up there and tell them this stuff.” And said, “Give the bad parts of your case. Let them know that there’s 50 people out there who used your product and all 50 of them got cancer. Put that types of facts out there. Talk to them about how your CEO doctored a piece of evidence. Put the really bad stuff out there.” And so he thought, “Oh, no, I can’t do that. We’ll lose the case. My client will kill me.” And so we did that, and the other side came out really strong and they put all that strong evidence on their case. And what happened was the jury started saying, “Well, obviously I’m going to side with the plaintiffs. Your CEO already admitted wrongdoing and your product, clearly a lot of people have died from your product or gotten cancer. I can’t be fair to the plaintiffs.” We got rid of 27 jurors in that case for cause, which is unheard of really to get rid of that many people who said they couldn’t be fair to the plaintiff or couldn’t be fair to the defendant, my client. And now my client’s sitting in the courtroom and they’re like sweating bullets thinking about, “Wow, these people really hate us.” Well, you know what, all those people who really hate us are off of the panel now.

Zach Elwood: You’re really drawing people out. It’s like putting a trap in the ground and people are just falling into it exposing their biases.

Dr. Marinakis: Right, and so we got rid of all those people. Now, who are the people that are left? Now, the people that are left on the panel are the people who heard all of those terrible things about my client and about the company and who nevertheless still kept an open mind and were still able to be fair. Now those are the jurors that are truly going to be fair and impartial. And now the other side, they didn’t identify any people who might be for the defense, who might say, “Well, I think corporations are good. Corporations employee people. Plaintiff lawyers are always chasing ambulances.” Nobody said that because they were so focused on the bad conduct.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. And I’m sure the other side, if this isn’t a very common strategy, the other side was like, “Oh, this case is going to be so easy. Everybody hates this company.” And then you are left with weeding out the worst potential jurors and left with a more analytical group of people.

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah, they never saw it coming. I’ll tell you, in that case, we took a lunch break, and they were high fiving each other, they thought, “Wow, wow, all these jurors hate these people. We’re going to win the case.” And then as the judge excused, “You’re excused, you’re excused, you’re excused,” you could see the smile on their face just all of a sudden turn to severe panic. And they got no cause challenges, we had 27, and they had no idea who to use their strikes on. We ended up with an amazing jury that they just settled the case at that point because they knew that there was no chance of winning. So it really is counterintuitive. But I tell my client, “Look, voir dire is the time to identify those people. Do you want those people to say those horrible things about you now in voir dire or would you rather have them say that in the deliberation room when they’re trying to come back with a verdict?” It’s like get rid of them now. And then you know what, now that you’ve got your jury seated, now come out with a really strong opening statement. Now that you’ve got your 12 fair people you say, “We’re approved by the FDA, and this woman had a history of cancer, and all those other 49 women, they too had a history of cancer in their family and they use these other products or whatnot.” Convince the jury of your case during openings not during voir dire.

Zach Elwood: Yeah. It’s also interesting too because that process of getting them all talking and on the same side in the very beginning draws people out too, because other people are talking about it. If the group was talkative like that, it seems like it would lead to more volunteering of bias basically.

Dr. Marinakis: You’re absolutely right about that. Once one or two people start opening up, other people feel more comfortable opening up. And a technique we’ll use too is say Mr. Jones just voiced that he hates corporations, I might say, “Okay, Mr. Jones said that, how many people feel like Mr. Jones?” And then people start raising hand. “Okay, Mr. Jones said he couldn’t be fair, do you kind of feel like that too?” They say yes. Okay, now I just got two jurors off for cause very quickly.

Zach Elwood: Right. And I also like something else you talk about in that book was using your own body language to encourage people. Like that question you just mentioned, how many people, you’d be raising your hand too to kind of show that’s socially acceptable or to encourage them to express their bias.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. That’s all part of getting people comfortable opening up, and almost subconsciously, if we see someone doing something, we want to emulate it. You almost say like monkey see, monkey do. And I don’t want to imply the jurors are monkeys, but personality-wise and behavior, if I’m raising my hand when I’m just asking the question, “How many people feel this?” And I raised my hand, that’s almost subliminally sends the message to the jury like, “It’s okay, raise your hand.” And it also goes to the way that I ask the question. So instead of saying, does anyone, if I say, does anyone feel that way? It almost implies that this is an unpopular belief or an unacceptable belief versus when I say how many of you. How many of you implies that this is a common belief, and certainly there’s going to be people in the audience who feel this way. So how many of you feel this way? Using that body language and the wording of the question together gets people more likely to raise their hand to those types of questions. Another example is just nodding my head slightly. Someone is telling me about their experience with cancer, I’m nodding along very, very, so slightly or I have my client do this. You can’t even notice that they’re nodding along, just very slowly nodding, “Yes, I’m following you, I’m feeling you.” Match the juror’s facial expressions. If the juror’s wincing, the attorney should be wincing. If the juror is smiling, the attorney should be smiling. These are all techniques that I’ve learned in my experience as a clinical psychologist doing therapy, it’s about matching a person’s emotions and getting them to tell me more about that and reflecting back. A juror says, “Yeah, it was a tough experience.” “Wow, that sounds like that was a really tough experience for you. Tell me more about that,” and reflecting back to the juror what they said.

Zach Elwood: That reminds me of a popular interviewing technique where you ask someone question and then they answer it, and then you give a little pause. And the person being interviewed or asked questions will sometimes fill in that slightly awkward silence, they’ll volunteer something even more meaningful at the end. Does that ever come into play, giving the little silence?

Dr. Marinakis: Yes, absolutely. People are uncomfortable with silence, and so I recommend attorneys to do that during voir dire to draw out more information. And it’s funny that we give our witnesses the opposite advice, “Don’t fall into that trap.” So something we teach them is these are the tricks that the opposing counsel will do during cross examination to get you to volunteer more. Be comfortable with silence.

Zach Elwood: So when you answer your question you can stop talking then.

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah. The other thing people will do, another kind of trick, is to ask the same question but in a different manner. And people will think, “Well, if you’re asking the question again, you must be looking for something different,” and they’ll give a different response or give more information. So we tell our witnesses, “Look, no matter how the question is asked, even if it’s asked in five different ways, your response is always the same.” I answered that question, this is my answer. Don’t volunteer more.

Zach Elwood: Getting to your witness preparation and communication training. A couple questions about that, are there any rules around how you’re allowed to advise a witness on how they should speak or act when they testify?

Dr. Marinakis: Well, first I should say that when we’re meeting with our witnesses that is protected by client-product confidentiality, attorney-client privilege. So anything a witness says to the attorney that’s on the case is confidential. So when we conduct these sessions, we always have an attorney in the room there to ensure that our session is covered by that lawyer-client confidentiality. Now I’m a lawyer myself, so I don’t have to worry about that as much. But if there’s a jury consultant who does not have a law degree and is not bar-ed, an active member of the bar, you must have an attorney there to keep that conversation privileged. Now that said, there’s still some rules, and these go back to those ethics rules for attorneys which are actually laws. You cannot tell a witness to lie. And in fact, you can’t even ask a question on direct examination if you know that witness will lie, that is against the ethics rules. But we never do that anyway. We don’t want witnesses to lie. Most because they have poker tells, and jurors will call them out on it. So we’re not telling our witnesses what to say, but how to say it. How do you word something both verbal, behavior, and non-verbal behavior to give what you say more credibility so that the jurors believe your version, your truth? How do you effectively communicate that truth so the jurors believe you and they don’t misinterpret signs of nervousness or personal ticks as being signs of dishonesty?

Zach Elwood: Right. That brings an interesting point because the fact that you have to do this is mostly due to the fact that everybody thinks they can read people well, even though they can’t. So you’ll have a lot of people in the general population who are like, “Oh, she looked down when she said this, she’s lying. Or she was blinking a lot, she’s lying.” It’s just like in poker where usually those things are so ambiguous you would have to have such a big data set to even reach a conclusion like that. So you’re basically trying to make your witnesses unreadable basically, because people are going to draw all sorts of weird conclusions from their behavior.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly. And people watch these TV shows, the Lie to Me, The Bull, those types of things, and they think that they know the signs of untruthfulness when you’re right, more often than not, those are signs of being nervous. Even just having your hand over your mouth is a huge thing that when I talk to jurors and they say, “Oh, I didn’t trust that witness because he had his hand over his mouth. He was afraid that the truth was going to come out because his hand was over his mouth.” And usually that’s just the person’s nervous and it’s a nervous tick. So I have to work with witnesses to get them to, you’re right, be unreadable and to be confident. Even if you’re not confident, even if you’re nervous, speak confidently, keep your hands down, make eye contact, that’s going to make you more credible to the jury.

Zach Elwood: Right, yeah. You just want them to get across the content of their testimony and leave out all the extraneous behavioral stuff.

Dr. Marinakis: Right. And in a way, jurors will remember it. So we talk about themes and having thematic content. Most jurors have very limited attention spans, especially in today’s age of 40-character news stories. And a jury’s not going to listen to a two-minute diatribe about something, but they will listen to a couple seconds. So we work with the witnesses on their non-verbal skills and also their verbal skills and being short, direct, to the point. Otherwise, they’re going to lose the jury and the jury will tune out.

Zach Elwood: Right, makes sense. Any other interesting examples of reading people from your work come to mind? Any great reads you’re proud of or that you’ve witnessed other people in the industry make?

Dr. Marinakis: I think I probably have more stories about bad reads, where I have the lawyers who, yes, they have a lot of experience, but so many times they’ll be like, “Well, I just don’t like juror number seven. There’s something about her. I just don’t want her on my jury. She gives me the hibbie jibbies. She’s given me a bad look.” And I have to say like, “That juror just has resting bitch face. That’s just how they are. Everything on paper, they look like a great juror.” So many times I have clients say, “We got to strike her, I got a bad feeling,” and I really have to talk them off the ledge from that and explain to them how, “Look at her face. She’s making the same face when the other side is talking too.”

Zach Elwood: Right. So just her baseline and they’re overreacting to small data points.

Dr. Marinakis: Right, or they’ll say, “Juror number seven is totally on our side. She’s nodding, she’s taking a lot of notes.” Then all of a sudden that juror comes back with a complete opposite verdict, and the attorneys are just shocked. And I talk to the juror or I’m observing them, and I realize that they’re nodding along not because they agree, because they’re following. People do that. I’m following what you’re saying, I’m nodding along. Or I’ll talk to the juror, and they say, “Yeah, I was doodling. I was drawing or he was talking and I was writing down that’s BS, I don’t agree with that.” So just because someone’s taking a lot of notes doesn’t mean they’re writing down what you’re saying, they could be writing down that they hate what you’re saying.

Zach Elwood: This guy’s an idiot, yeah. The nodding is interesting because I do that a lot when I talk to people. Nodding a lot, small nods, just as an encouraging way to set people at ease. And I think it does lead people to like tell me things they otherwise wouldn’t because they think I’m on their side. So I get random people confessing weird things to me sometimes, and I think it’s just because I nod and look like I’m interested and sympathetic.

Dr. Marinakis: Exactly, and that’s what I was talking about earlier when you’re talking to the jurors, doing that very subtle head nod gets them to open up even more to you.

Zach Elwood: Yeah, I think that’s pretty powerful. We’re near to wrapping up here, I won’t keep you too much longer. Do you think recent popular documentaries that show the inner workings and frequent mistakes of the legal system have lowered people’s trust in how fair jury trials are? Do you think that impacts your work?

Dr. Marinakis: I do worry about this a lot. Before when I told people what I do, they had never heard of it before. But now with the documentaries and with the show Bull, people have a bad impression about what we do. They think we do things unethically because in the show they’re always doing things that are unethical. Talking to the judge, manipulating the jury, talking to jurors, and that’s not really the reality of what we’re doing. So it gives our profession a bad name. The other thing that I see is that you’re seeing more and more stories about misconduct, whether it’s corporate misconduct, government misconduct, and people being bought off, that’s what all these TV shows are about, documentaries about an unfair justice system. And the truth of the matter is that yes, that happens, unfortunately it does, but that’s not the norm. But unfortunately, because people watch these documentaries and these shows, they come in with these expectations, that’s almost their biases about what they think is the truth. And usually being on the defense side, that works against my client’s favor, where people think, “Oh, okay, you’re approved by the FDA, but I’m sure you guys probably bought off the FDA and you manipulated the scientific studies.” It’s like come on, I know that happened…

Zach Elwood: Everything’s a conspiracy.

Dr. Marinakis: Yeah, and so we’re finding we’re having more and more difficulty getting fair jurors for our cases because so many people have been tainted by these… And there are bad companies out there. There are the [end rounds], there are certain companies that have done bad things, and it might only be one or two individuals within that organization that were corrupt, but people feel like now everybody’s corrupt, all corporations are corrupt, and it really works against… The other thing I feel that we see a lot is people feel like, “Well, the corporations must have more resources, so it’s not fair. Corporations can hire people like jury consultants to do that.” And the truth of the matter is it’s actually more balanced than you might think. Corporations are usually insured, and the insurance carrier will limit how much resources can be spent on trial. They might limit it. Whereas plaintiff lawyers, you see a family versus a corporation, but what you don’t see is that the corporation is really defended by the insurance company with a limited budget, and the plaintiff lawyer, they’re coming off of maybe five other trials where they just got multi-million dollar verdicts. So you say, “Oh, the family doesn’t have resources,” but plaintiff lawyers represent people on contingency basis. So if the attorney they don’t win the case, the plaintiffs pay nothing. That family loses the case, they pay nothing, and the law firm is putting up all the costs ahead of time. Now that law firm is going to take 100 million dollars they just got on a previous case, use those resources to hire their own jury consultant to do the mock trials, and they’ve actually got the money to do that stuff that maybe even the big corporation doesn’t. Seems hard to believe, but that’s actually more often the case than not.

Zach Elwood: Interesting. That’s an interesting thing because I would’ve been in that group that thought it was quite unbalanced usually.

Dr. Marinakis: No, I can tell you, in terms of clients, the plaintiff lawyers are the ones with the private jets and the multiple yachts, because they’ve got these 100 million dollar verdicts in the past. And then my clients, I’m not saying they’re not well to do, they’re big corporations, but they’re nowhere near the type of stupid money that some of these plaintiff lawyers have.

Zach Elwood: And they’re also limited by how much they can spend on that too.

Dr. Marinakis: Right, and now in the criminal realm, it might be a little bit different. You certainly have criminal defendants who can’t afford a jury consultant or the best lawyer and that there is definitely probably more imbalance, but neither can the state. The state is not going in there and spending a lot of money trying to argue these cases or to hire people, so it’s almost balanced there too. And in fact, if someone is on trial for capital murder and they have a public defender, they are awarded funds for a jury consultant. I’ve done many cases where we’ve worked for criminal defendants who are indigent or just we offer our time pro bono, for free, representing criminal defendants to give ourselves more experience, to do something and give back to the community. And so you find more evenness and parity there than you might otherwise think.

Zach Elwood: Nice. So my final question would be, as you’ve worked in the profession so long, do you have any opinions on things you would change in the jury trial legal system that would make cases more fair in general? Anything that you would change?

Dr. Marinakis: I touched on this earlier about relying on stereotypes, and I think we really need to advocate somehow for jurisdictions to allow a better opportunity for the jurors to be questioned. There’s some states, again, like in the northeast where the judge is the person who asks the questions, and the attorneys never even get to talk to the jurors. And so you might know nothing about them, all you can see is their race and their gender, how they dress, maybe their education. And as I mentioned before, that really forces us to base decisions on stereotypes, and that’s just really unfortunate. So there’s certain laws and the judges who don’t allow sufficient questionings are really doing society a disservice.

Zach Elwood: Okay. That’s about it. And we will end with some places you can go to learn more about Dr. Marinakis’s work. There’s litigationinsights.com, that’s the company she works for. And there’s a blog series on there with some interesting blogs that people might find interesting with client questions and answers from Litigation Insights.

Dr. Marinakis: Oh, absolutely. We post two blogs a month, and these are all based on questions that our clients have asked us, and they range anywhere from what is the statistical social science research behind something to should I shave my beard for trial and what should I wear? So there’s a variety of different questions that have been asked of us, and we answer them for people, and it’s all available on the website under our blogs.

Zach Elwood: There’s also the book, the voir dire book. And to find that if anyone’s interested in that, that’s at jamespublishing.com, and just search for voir dire questions on that site. The book is called Pattern Voir Dire Questions, and it’s the second edition that Dr. Marinakis helped out with and added contributions to. That was a talk with jury selection specialist Christina Marinakis. This has been the People Who Read People podcast with me, Zach Elwood. You can learn more about it at behavior-podcast.com. You can follow me on Twitter @apokerplayer. If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave me a review on iTunes or another podcast platform. Music by Small Skies.

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Relationship “tells”, with Brandi Fink

A talk with relationship researcher Dr. Brandi Fink, about behavioral indicators (aka “tells”) of healthy and unhealthy relationships. We talk about her work, the work of scientifically analyzing behavior in general, behaviors that are unhelpful to relationships, and more. Brandi has done a lot of work analyzing the behavior of couples and families experiencing problems, including issues of physical abuse, emotional distress, and drug/alcohol abuse. She also once worked with the well known relationship researcher and therapist John Gottman.

This is a reshare of a 2019 episode. For more details about this episode, see the original post.

Episode links:

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Reading poker tells, with poker pro Dara O’Kearney

An interview with professional poker player Dara O’Kearney (twitter @daraokearney) on the subject of poker tells (poker behavioral patterns). Dara is also the co-host of The Chip Race, a very popular poker podcast. We talk about how important poker tells are versus strategy, about how Dara’s thoughts on poker tells have changed over time, and talk about some interesting poker hands where tells have played a role for us. (See the bottom of this post for more topics and resources.) Podcast links:

Other topics discussed include:

  • How some players (especially beginners) over-estimate the role of tells and some players underestimate them.
  • Some ways that poker players can get information from opponents, like insulting them or being nice to them.
  • How some well known players, like Phil Hellmuth, Andy Black, and Daniel Negreanu, use their celebrity and personalities to their advantage.
  • How early-hand tells, when the pot is small, are some of the most meaningful tells (with the big bet spots often not being as behaviorally interesting as many might think).
  • The complexity of poker, and how it’s a more complex game than chess.

Related resources:

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Understanding and coping with anxiety, with editor of The Atlantic Scott Stossel

In this episode of the People Who Read People podcast, I interview Scott Stossel (@sstossel on Twitter), who is the national editor of the magazine The Atlantic, and the author of the book My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind. That book is a history of humanity’s understanding and treatment of anxiety, and also a personal history in which Scott recounts honestly and openly his own struggles with extreme, debilitating anxiety and phobias from a young age. I talk to Scott about what he’s learned in his research and in his personal life about the factors behind anxiety and how we might, as much as we are able to, overcome it. Along the way, I also talk a bit about my own struggles with anxiety.

Podcast links:

Other topics discussed include:

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How does not believing in free will affect one’s life?, with physicist Daniel Whiteson

A talk with Daniel Whiteson, a professor of physics and astronomy at the University of California, Irvine. He’s the co-author of “We Have No Idea,” about the unknown mysteries remaining in physics, and a co-host of the podcast Daniel and Jorge Explain The Universe.

I talk to Whiteson about free will. We talk a little bit about why we both think free will is unlikely to exist, but our main focus is on more psychological and emotional aspects: What are the results in our own lives of not believing in free will? What potential effects does lack of belief in free will have for people in general? Because the idea that free will doesn’t exist can make people anxious or sad, the idea that we are basically just automatons, the idea that our conscious experience of the world is like watching a movie we have no real control over.

A transcript is below.

Episode links:

There are many resources on free will out there, but here are a few that were either discussed in this episode or that I’ve found interesting:

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Analyzing written and verbal statements, with Mark McClish

A talk with Mark McClish, a former US Marshal, and a longtime trainer of law enforcement personnel in interrogation/interview techniques. He has written two books on his statement analysis techniques: I Know You Are Lying, and Don’t Be Deceived. These are great books; the first book was one of the inspirations for me writing my book Verbal Poker Tells.

This podcast is meant to serve as an introduction to some statement analysis concepts. We talk briefly about quite a few cases, new and old, including OJ Simpson, Timothy McVeigh, Chris Watts, Making A Murderer, the KROQ radio DJ hoax, the McStay family murder, and the Van Dam child murder.

A transcript is below. 

Here are links to this episode:

If you’d like to read some in-depth analysis of the Chris Watts statements, check out this blog post.

TRANSCRIPT

[Note: transcripts will contain errors.]

Zach: So today is September 6th, 2018, and this is the People Who Read People Podcast. My name’s Zachary Elwood and today we have as a guest, mark mcclish and I’ll give you a quick introduction of, uh, Mark’s background taken from his website, statement analysis.com. Mark is a retired supervisory Deputy United States Marshal with 26 years of federal law enforcement experience.

From 1991 to 1999, he taught interviewing techniques at the US Marshals Service Training Academy, which is located at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center in Georgia. During that time, he conducted research on deceptive language. He calls his method for examining people’s words, state statement analysis.

He actually has a registered trademark of that that Mark has registered. Mark has written two books. I know you are lying, and the second one is Don’t Be Deceived. And I just wanna vouch that [00:01:00] these are very good books. In fact, my own second book about poker tells, which was called Verbal Poker Tells, was partially inspired by reading Mark’s first book.

Mark’s work will help make you a better listener and will help you better understand written and verbal communication in my opinion. Without further ado, here’s Mark. Uh, good morning, mark. Good morning Zach. Thanks for coming on the show. And we’re gonna talk about some of your, uh, work today and, and hopefully give people an introduction to, um, you know, what they can learn from, from your work and how it will help them in their daily lives.

So let’s start from the top. For people who are new to your work, what’s your short, if you were gonna give a short elevator pitch for the value of statement analysis and. How it works. Uh, what would you say?

Mark: Well, statement analysis is the process of examining a, a person’s verbal or written statement to determine if they’re being, uh, truthful or deceptive.

And, and the reason the techniques work is that there are several ways you can phrase a statement, and people will always [00:02:00] word their statement based on all their knowledge, which means their statement may contain information they did not intend to share. Uh, PE people often give us more information than what they realize.

But unfortunately, they sometimes give us more information on what we realize and all gets down to listening to how a person phrases their statement. And the other reason, uh, the techniques work is because most of the techniques are based on the English language, such as, uh, word definitions and the rules of grammar.

And then lastly, when we examine a statement, we do not interpret what a person is saying. And that’s ’cause people mean exactly what they say, but too oftentimes we, a person says one thing and, and we hear something different. I mean, years ago, a sportscaster, Marv Albert got into some trouble and he came out with a statement and said that he is going to, that he intended to Vly defend himself.

Well, the key word was intent. He didn’t say he will defend himself, he just intended to. And then later on he pled guilty. And a lot of people were surprised. But if you listen to what [00:03:00] he is saying. You could almost see a guilty plea coming, you know, in the distance. So it all gets down to listening.

Zach: Right.

And one of the big things in your book is, you know, you talk about listening carefully to what people tell you. And, and like you said, people read into things. So the, you know, they’ll say something vague, indirect, and we absorb what they, they want us to hear without, you know, listening to the very subtle things that give us clues that they’re not telling the whole truth or that they’re actually saying something else.

Uh, right. Okay. So, uh. How does the analysis of verbal behavior, in your opinion, differ and compare to nonverbal physical behavioral analysis?

Mark: Well, with nonverbals, you know, reading somebody’s body language, uh, obviously one a person has to be present and we have to view their mannerisms. I. If we’re gonna rely on their non verbs, but with statement analysis, they don’t have to be present, which means we could use the statement analysis techniques, uh, in a telephone conversation, or we could use the statement analysis techniques if we’re [00:04:00] analyzing a written statement.

Obviously you can’t apply, um, non verbs in those types of situations, but with body language, you have to establish a norm. Uh, what, you know, establish a baseline. What is this person’s normal body movements? And then later you look for the abnormal gestures. They, they rub the back of their neck or, uh, comb their hair or something like that.

But this creates a problem and that sometimes we forget to establish that baseline. Or if you’re watching an interview on television, that interview is probably 20 minutes long. They edit down to 10 minutes for their broadcast and they cut all that chitchat. You, you don’t have an opportunity to establish that baseline.

But with statement analysis, we don’t have to establish a baseline for the far majority of the techniques. And that’s because people mean exactly, uh, what they say. And then with non verbs, it’s not always specific. Just because somebody performs an abnormal gesture doesn’t necessarily mean they’re being deceptive at that point in their statement.

Now, it may [00:05:00] indicate you’re, you’re hitting a hot spot or something like that. But the statement itself, um, may be a truthful statement, whereas again, with statement analysis, it’s, it’s, uh, it’s very specific because people mean exactly what they say. And that’s, so that’s some of the differences between reading somebody’s body language, which you have to somewhat interpret, versus statement analysis, which in which there is no interpretation.

Zach: It kind of ring, it rings true for me because working on the, uh, the Verbal Poker Tales book, uh, I learned a lot just writing the book because I spent a lot of time researching, you know, clips from, uh, televised poker and taking notes when I played. And I just found that after I was done with that book compared to the things I’d written about non-verbal, I just, you know, I, I, I really believe the, the verbal stuff was so much more actionable and reliable.

Because it, you know, it just contains more inf clear information to me when that information is present. And, uh, I think it, I think it has a corollary there. Obviously, poker’s different from. Other things, but I think it, it, there’s, there’s just a lot of information there. [00:06:00] Um, so your first book, I know you are lying.

I found very much eyeopening. I’ve read it three times. This book has so much interesting stuff in it. It’s a real period piece of crime from the late eighties and nineties. Uh, a few topics covered in the book job in a Ramsey Woody Allen accusations, Michael Jackson accusations, bill Clinton statements, OJ Simpson, and a lot more.

Uh. It’s interesting to read, just, uh, as kind of a, taking you back to that time and realizing how many, uh, you know, kind of epic, crazy, uh, news stories were happening around that time. And, and, and you talk about a lot of them and, and find very interesting patterns and, and information in the things that people say in those interviews.

Uh, so one of the things I wanted to do was we’ll play one clip from, uh, of an interesting example you talk about in your book. And to set this up a little bit, this is from. 1990, and these are two Los Angeles DJs who had a funny radio talk show. They had a caller call in [00:07:00] at one point during one of their shows who confessed to murdering his girlfriend.

And then there was a big police investigation to try to find out if it was a real call. Uh, many people wondered whether it was a hoax by the two DJs and the show, unsolved Mysteries did a feature on the story and they interviewed the 2D DJs. So we’ll play a clip right now from that show.

TV show: We asked them point blank if the call was a hoax created to boost their ratings.

Um, there are, there are real definite lines that you do not cross. Um, obviously everybody’s, you know, trying to get ratings, trying to get notice, trying to be this and that, but there are lines that you just don’t cross, and that’s one of ’em. Um, yeah, I, I, I don’t know that anyone could sit down and say someone confessing to murder will make our ratings go up.

Zach: So that was the first dj and then the second DJ clip starts.

DJ: Um, you know, all we could say is, you know what the, the experts feel that this guy was legitimate. It’s no one we know. And as you know, as far as we’re concerned, you know, that that’s his story. We certainly [00:08:00] hope it’s not true. You know, I trade whatever publicity we got from it, you know, for the story not to be true.

’cause it’s pretty grim really.

Zach: Okay, so I thought I picked this clip of these two guys because I thought it was a good, uh, a good example of having quite a few of the things you talk about in your book in one place. Uh, do you want to talk a little bit about what jumps out to you? Obviously, you know a lot about that clip.

Mark: Well, the first thing we see is despite both DJs giving a very lengthy answer, neither one of ’em answered the specific question. Uh, the question was, is the call a host created boost your ratings? And so if they wanna deny that they have to say no, and they can say every, all they said, and then, and by saying no, or say no to the very beginning and, and then keep on talking.

’cause sometimes people don’t wanna just say yes or no, they want to expound. Nothing wrong with that, but you have to answer that specific question. Neither one of them did. So that means absolutely they’re, they’re withholding some information. And then the first DJ start out saying that there are real different lines that you do not [00:09:00] cross.

And in statement analysis, we take the approach that we’re gonna believe what people tell us. And we notice that he used the pronoun you, there are real different lines that you do not cross. And I believe him that you and I wouldn’t cross those lines, but he couldn’t say there are real definite lines that I would not cross or, or we would not cross.

Referring to both DJs and so that that stood out, you know, pretty glaring. If you look at the pronouns, he’s not personalizing it, but he is just talking in general terms, wanting you to believe that he is talking about himself, but he is not. Mm-hmm. And the second DJ start out saying, uh, all we can say.

You know, is that the experts feel this guy was legitimate. Well, when people say, you know, all I know, or all I can say, they’re telling us they’re limited in what they can share with us. When people say, all I know, they’re limited by their knowledge, but when people say, all I can say. They’re probably limited by something else.

And what you should ask yourself is, is why is this all you can say? [00:10:00] What are you limited by in this case? Right? What’s stopping you? Yeah. What’s stopping you from giving more information? Apparently not your knowledge. All I know, but all I can say. So there’s usually a difference, uh, between the two. And then we have a rule and statement analysis that the shortest sentence is the best sentence.

You know, extra words give us extra information. And, and the first DJ concluded his statement by saying, you know, I don’t know that anyone could sit down and say someone confessed their murder will make our ratings go up. Well, you don’t need the phrase sit down. You just say, I don’t know that anyone could say someone confessed to murder and make our reigns go up.

So the question is, why did he use these extra words, sit down. Well, as you know, in reading the book, it turned out it was a hoax on their part. Uh, the caller was another DJ, I believe, from Arizona that called in. And most likely when the three of them got together to plan this, they were probably all sitting down talking about, is this gonna work?

Is it not gonna work? Mm-hmm. He can see, he can see them planning it. He can see them sitting there and it ends up coming into his [00:11:00] statement. Those extra words, uh, sit down.

Zach: Yeah, I really, I really like that one. It’s, it’s just such an interesting Yeah. You know, it’s, it’s the kind of thing that like a lot of, uh, these things that could pass by unnoticed if you weren’t paying a lot of attention and Right.

But then when you think about it, you’re like, that is a really weird way to phrase that, you know?

Mark: Yeah. So there, you know, and there were a few other indications of deception as well, the big ones where they didn’t answer that specific question. They’re not talking about themselves, they’re talking about you and I using the pronoun you.

Zach: One little one was when he said the second DJ ended it with, it’s pretty grim, really, you know, with that, the really modifier, uh, can you talk a little bit about how, how frequent those are and deceptive, uh, language?

Mark: Yeah. People like to use, uh, certain words to, to bolster their statement, but oftentimes it weakens the statement because again.

They’re, they’re not needed. Uh uh, the word really, it’s almost like saying truthfully, honestly. It’s like when people say, I swear to God, or honest to God, you know, I, I tell people it’s, it’s a 50 50 with [00:12:00] these, you know, half the time people have a habit of using some of these phrases and half the time, you know, they’re being deceptive.

But it’s something you definitely wanna take a look at and ask a few more questions about in an interview setting. You know, is this person trying to convince me they’re being truthful, or is this just part of their, uh, vernacular using some of these, uh, words and phrases?

Zach: And one other interesting thing was the amount of stutters and missteps in their speech, which I know you, uh, you know that in a similar way, the, those kinds of things aren’t usually that meaningful because some people just talk like that.

But in this case, these guys were radio DJs, which, you know, you would think they’d be, would be quite comfortable talking clearly and straightforwardly, so, right. All the little ums and stutters kind of are more likely to be meaningful. Right.

Mark: Yeah, that’s one. The few times we’d have to establish a baseline with statement analysis.

Does this person normally stutter? But as you pointed out, they’re professional speakers, they’re DJs, so I gotta believe they don’t stutter and, and so that stuttering, those pauses would both be indication that they’re under some stress. I.

Zach: Uh, [00:13:00] yeah, so that was an interesting one. I, I think it was just a good, a good example of a lot of different things in one place.

And it’s, it’s kinda like, um, you know, uh, like a lot of things, like for when you’re uncertain, when you, when you see a lot of signs of deception pointing the same way, I think it, you know, it helps make your confidence that there’s, there’s being, there’s some deception there better. Uh, and those, like you said, those guys were found out to have planned that, that, uh, radio hoax, um.

Any other recent examples in the, in the news that, uh, where you saw some or heard some, uh, interesting verbal or written behavior? Any, any recent current events?

Mark: Probably the most recent one is the, uh, the Chris Watts out in, uh, Colorado, who said, uh, that his wife and two. Children had disappeared. This was, uh, a few weeks ago and he, uh, I think he reported it was on Monday.

He reported three of them missing. On Tuesday, he gave an interview to local television [00:14:00] station. Then on Wednesday, he pled guilty to at least, uh, killing his wife. But a lot of people thought he gave a pretty good interview on that Tuesday. Uh, seemed like he was, uh. A grieving husband and father. But as I listened to his statements, uh, at one point he said, uh, I have no inclination of where they are right now.

And then later on he said, I have no idea like where they went. You very rarely can a person honestly say, I have no idea or no clue. When people use those phrases, they’re, they’re acting like they know absolutely nothing. And it’s just hard to believe ’cause most people have an opinion just about everything.

I mean, he may not know what happened to them. He may not know where they are, but he probably has somewhat of a clue. So when you hear those phrases, I have no idea. I have no clue that light bulb in your head should turn on. ’cause very rarely can a person honestly say that. And I, I see it happen all the time where that phrase is used and it turns out they’re being, uh, deceptive.

Zach: Yeah. It makes me think, uh, it makes me [00:15:00] think that you’re in your book there. I can definitely remember a, a good number of examples where people would feign, you know, complete cluelessness, you know?

Mark: Yeah. So it’s something to listen for. And then the other big one he had in his statement was, uh, he talked about his oldest daughter in the past tense.

He said Bella was going to start kindergarten next Monday. Now if he and you talking about people in the past, tense means it’s an indication that, you know, they’re no longer around, they’re deceased. Uh, if he felt his daughter was still alive, ’cause this is a Tuesday, he’s given a statement. He would say, you know, Bella is supposed to, or, or is going to start school next week or next Monday.

But he said was, and that’s a strong indication. He knows something that we don’t know. And it turned out that he, I think he claims now that his wife had killed his two daughters and then, and his angry killed his wife. I would love to see that statement. I haven’t, I don’t think they’ve released that yet.

Uh, most people believe he killed his entire family and then, uh, dispose of their [00:16:00] bodies, but there were strong several indications of deception in his statement. If you listen closely to what he was saying.

Zach: Yeah, I, I watched some of that last night. I, I think I might have watched a different one than you, but I, I made a couple notes that stood out to me and, uh, one thing he said was, um, when the interviewer basically said, uh.

Basically was like, well, one of the problems with this is, you know, people are saying you might have done something like this, and he is not angry at all and doesn’t, doesn’t deny it. He’s given a clear chance to say, I didn’t do this. But he said, he basically says every, everyone’s gonna have their own opinion on anything like this.

I just want people to know that I want my family back, I want them safe, I want them here. So he, you know, it, it was very similar actually to some things in your book with, uh, I think it was a Michael Jackson denial and the James Earl Ray denial, where they were basically saying, well, everybody’s gonna have their, their own opinion, you know, whereas like you would think an innocent person would be like, I just wanna let everybody know I had nothing to do with this.

You know? Uh, that was kind of interesting.

Mark: Yeah, no denial. You’re right. We expect him to deny it. And what we’re [00:17:00] looking for in a denial is to say, I didn’t do it. You know, I, I didn’t kill my family or I don’t know what happened to them. And, and he never, he doesn’t give a, a good denial, like you said, in fact.

Probably 99% of the things he said were true. You know, I want my family back. He probably does regret what he did and wants them back, you know? But as you point out, he, he never gave a, gave a good denial.

Zach: Mm-hmm. And one other thing I noticed that was kind of interesting was he says, twice, I want those kids back.

And he talks about those kids. He never says my kids or anything in the whole inter eight minute interview. So I thought that was kinda interesting too, like using the, the pronoun, the kind of analysis thing.

Mark: Yep. Yeah. Not using their names. Correct.

Zach: Okay, so we’ll, uh, we’ll move on. Maybe we’ll come back to another current event thing, uh, later.

But I wanted to move on to kind of some philosophical things about statement analysis. Uh, so one of the main concepts of statement analysis is that people don’t like to lie, so it pays to listen to them closely. [00:18:00] And, uh, you can break down these kinds of statements into. Uh, two main categories, the kinds of statements from, you know, interrogations and interviews and this kinds of, these kinds of things.

The two main categories to me are someone giving a history of things that occurred, like their, their version of events, their alibi, and then in the second category, they’re the actual denials of doing things like, I swear I didn’t set up that hoax, or I, I didn’t kill her. Things like that. So those can be very direct or in the case of guilty people often very indirect.

So I wanna talk about the first category a little bit. We, we can probably all understand that category because when guilty people give their version of events, there’s, there’re usually clues present because, you know, they’re afraid of slipping up. They don’t want to get caught in a lie. There’s a lot of mental load involved.

So they’re, you know, con uh, pretty frequently slipping up in those complicated storytelling, uh, you know. Endeavors, which kind of makes sense. You know, we’ve all tried to lie at some time and it’s takes a little [00:19:00] effort. Uh, the second category though, is more interesting to me because it’s the straightforward denials.

Uh, and you know, as you show in your work, there are many examples of people who don’t seem to be able to just come out and straight deny that they did something. You know, uh, they hedge and make ambiguous statements. They don’t just come out and say, I didn’t do it. And, uh, I, I just wondered if. If you’ve, over the years, have an idea for why it’s so hard for people, even people who have done horrible things, you know, murderers, why, why do they find it so hard to deny things in a straightforward manner?

Mark: Well, I think most people are raised that, you know, a lying is wrong. You should always tell the truth. So that factors into it. Uh, people know when they tell a lie, it causes stress. That stress can, uh, be manifested in the form of a body movement. And so, or even with a polygraph, it detects, you know, uh, a, uh, they’re perspiring more.

They have an increased heart rate. And so they’re afraid if they tell a lie that their body language may reveal the fact [00:20:00] that they’re lying. And then sometimes it’s hard to keep track of lies, you know, when it’s coming from the truth, when it’s the truth coming from memory. You can always recall what you just said, you know, previously ’cause it’s all there.

But when you’re telling a lie, you don’t have that memory to rely upon. And so they may forgot what they said just, you know, 10 minutes ago and they’re, they don’t want to contradict themselves. And then in like an interview setting, um, the subject doesn’t know what the interviewer knows and if, if the subject.

Tell us a lie, and the interviewer knows it’s a lie. Well then he just dug his grave, so to speak, a little bit deeper. So the safest way for people to play it, especially in an open statement. And by that I mean where they can say anything they want. You know, tell us what happened. Tell us what you did.

Very rarely will people lie. Now we’ll skip over Eric. They don’t wanna talk about, we can identify that. But this statement itself is probably a truthful statement. But even with, as you mentioned with direct answers, direct, uh, you know, specific questions. People still [00:21:00] sometimes won’t come out and say, I didn’t do it, or I didn’t hit her, or I didn’t take the money.

They won’t give a specific denial. They’ll just kind of, uh, allude to it and, and hoping you’ll believe they didn’t do it. And I think it’s because of some of those reasons that they just, um, don’t wanna lie. They know they could get caught in a lie. And so they, they just try to give, uh, the impression. Now, every once in a while somebody will tell, um, like in an open statement, will tell a lie, but then they’ll end up.

You know, softening the lie a little bit. Um, the, the DC sniper, John Al Muhammad, uh, represented himself in court, sent his opening statement to the jury. He told the jurors that the evidence will show that I had nothing to do with these crimes. Well, again, the best denial is to deny, deny, to deny the act itself.

The best denial would’ve been to tell the jury that owns a show. I didn’t do it, or I wasn’t a shooter. He just used a general phrase I had nothing to do with. Now, he was convicted of being a DC sniper, so he did do it. That’s a lie, but he [00:22:00] softens a lie. It’s hard for him to tell a direct lie even when his life is on the line, and it’s hard for him to say, you know, I didn’t do it.

So use the phrase I had nothing to do with.

Zach: Right. It’s just so, it is just so kind of mind boggling because you’d think if somebody was, you know, one had killed someone and was under a lot of stress already, that you would think those kinds of straight denials would be the easiest part of their, you know, uh, the, the things they’re doing.

You know, just saying like, I did not do this, but it, it just, it, it is just fascinating to me how. So many examples that it’s so hard to find those straightforward denials. You know, and, and your book, your books are, are full of those kinds of examples where people just, you know, hedge and yeah, it just, like you said, people are uncomfortable with lying, which, which makes sense.

But then you would think at some point your, your self, your, your survival instincts, uh, would, would kick in and you’d be like, okay, I’m just gonna make a. I’m just gonna straightforwardly lie, like what do I have to lose? So it’s just, it must really speak to how uncomfortable at some fundamental [00:23:00] emotional level people are with lying, I guess.

Mark: Yeah. And then even, you know, obviously every once in a while somebody will tell a direct lie and say, I didn’t do it, but their whole statement has to back that up. So they may tell, give a good denial, I didn’t do it. But then as you continue the interview, look at the rest of their statement, you’ll see other deceptive indicators.

Whereas with truthful people. You know, they’ll, there’ll usually be no deceptive indicators or maybe just one, and we would conclude that, you know, they are being truthful.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh, and I, one other thing I, I was thinking when I was reading your book most recently was, uh, one of the factors might be a little bit of pride for some of the, uh, people who’ve done bad things.

You know, like Timothy McVey, uh, springs to mind because when I was reading his interview, transcriptions it, you know, he, he, it felt like he. Probably had some pride in what he did because it was a cause he was behind and so he didn’t want to fully deny that he did it. You know? Do you think that was a factor, at least for him?

Mark: And that could be, uh, you could be right on the money there that [00:24:00] he, like you said, he was proud of what he did and so he didn’t wanna come out and say, I didn’t do it. Uh, he was asked, you know, did you do it? And he didn’t say no.

Zach: Right. He had many, many opportunities

Mark: because. In a sense, he wants people to know that he’s responsible for it.

You know, that was the whole gist of that.

Zach: And, uh, getting back to those, uh, getting back to those really actually modifiers. Like when someone says, I didn’t do it, honest to God or whatever, uh, I know those are, you know, only slight modifiers and, and don’t always point to deception. But I was, I was wondering what if you had an opinion about what it was about those kinds of, uh, statements, uh, that make it.

That, that make a guilty person more likely to use them. You know, the, like, it seems, it seems like a trivial difference between saying I didn’t kill ’em and saying, honest to God I didn’t kill ’em. But the, you know, the guilty person’s more likely to throw in those, those modifiers. And I just wondered what [00:25:00] is it about those that kind of hedge their statement a little bit or make it safer for them to, to say that in their, in their minds.

Mark: Well, I think it’s because they know they did it and they want to tell you they didn’t do it. But because they know they did it, they feel like they gotta add more to their denial instead of just saying, I didn’t do it. As you point out, they may say, I swear to God, I didn’t do it. To try to convince you that they’re being truthful or, or as a truthful person will just say, I didn’t do it.

Now if you challenge them. You know, come on. You know, you were there and they’re being truthful. They sense that you don’t believe ’em. Well then that may cause them to later say, you know, I swear to God I didn’t do it. ’cause once they sense that you don’t believe them, maybe they feel like they have to add these words or phrases.

And that’s why I tell people, you know, it’s something to definitely look for. But it’s, you know, it’s 50 50 depending on which phrases we’re talking about and, and how they’re being used. Like with the word really, you know, the word really. Um. Indicates possible deception. But again, if we’re talking [00:26:00] about pain, we have different pain tolerances that hurts versus that really hurts.

Well that really hurts. It’s acceptable. It probably means it’s more painful than that hurts. But when a person says, you know, I really can’t pay any more than this. There’s a very good chance you probably could pay a little bit more.

Zach: Hmm. Yeah. One of my favorite, uh, se parts of your first book was you talked about, uh, OJ Simpson saying he was a hundred percent innocent in his, I think either in his book or as a, a statement.

And then later in his book, he says he bel he believed in, uh, Nicole’s ability as a mother 1000%. You know, so just the, the difference between the 100%. His own own innocence and that the thousand percent competency had in, in Nicole. I, I just thought that was a, a really interesting, uh, yeah, based

Mark: on that scale, he’s 900% guilty and only 100% percent.

Right. Yeah. I mean, you know, obviously numbers go on forever, so people have different scales and, and we don’t know what scale he was [00:27:00] using.

Zach: I think it’s, I think it’s interesting because it, it kind of shows maybe the value that some, some people see in those kind of modifiers because it’s kind of like watering down the, uh, the statement a little bit.

You know, it’s like even if you’re using like, you know, honest to God or whatever, it’s just kind of like throwing more, almost like an instinct to just throw more material into your. Into your denial to just like muddy the waters in some way. Like, ’cause there’s always, you know, like for example, somebody says, honest to God, like if they don’t believe in God, like maybe in their mind they’re not lying or something, you know, like just throwing in these extra.

Extra levels of meaning that could kind of detract from the straightforward denial, I don’t know.

Mark: Yep. That’s the kind, that’s the kind of word games that people play. You know, like he pointed out, if they don’t believe in God, then it’s easy for ’em to say honest to God. ’cause it doesn’t mean too much to them.

Zach: Yeah. I think it’s interesting how people, you know, instinctually find these solutions. You know, it’s not like I, I don’t think, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t, I don’t think a lot of these people are like, actively in their [00:28:00] minds, you know, uh, thinking of, uh. Really good deceptive ways to speak. It’s, they’re just finding natural instinctual ways to avoid telling the truth.

So they find these indirect ways. Um, you know, I’m, I’m thinking it from the, from the, uh, DJ hoax. Video when, uh, you know, he, he speaks, they speak in very, uh, ambiguous and indirect ways and use different pronouns. But I don’t, I don’t think that’s, that’s not like, uh, a purposeful deceptive act on their part.

They’re probably kind of speaking a little bit off the cuff, but it, it’s a natural, it, it forms those deceptive, uh, patterns naturally for them just out of. Solving the problem of how to lie. Well,

Mark: right. I, I agree. They, they’re not purposely thinking, well, I’m gonna use the pronoun you. It’s just in their mind, it’s hard for ’em to say, you know, these are lines that I wouldn’t cross ’cause I did cross ’em.

So they unknowingly use the pronoun you, and that’s the key there. It’s unknowingly, you know, they’re speaking a certain way and that’s what allows us to, [00:29:00] to determine they’re being deceptive.

Zach: In, uh, in my poker book, verbal Poker Tales, I I, after looking at a lot of footage and taking a lot of notes, one of my big findings was, you know, similar to statement analysis, it was people do not poker, players don’t like to lie, uh, during a hand, you know, as long as there’s a potential for a hand, their hand is still be exposed.

Most poker players don’t like to tell lies. They may speak in indirect. You know, ambiguous language, sort of like we’ve been talking about, but they don’t like to just directly lie and say, you know, I have whatever. Um, I mean, one, one reason for that is, you know, they don’t want to be, uh, perceived as a liar, uh, by the people.

They’re, they’re nearby. But I think, uh, another. Another factor there that doesn’t really apply to real life situations is that in competitive situations like poker, you kind of assume that people are going to be lying to you. So it, uh, it, you know, it makes, it makes direct statements less likely to, so, uh, yeah.

Anyway, just I was, I just wanted to [00:30:00] make that, uh. Analogy to poker there, because I think a lot of, a lot of people assume that poker players are often lying during a hand, but as it turns out, you know, when someone tell, makes a direct statement in poker, you should actually listen to it because there’s usually, uh, a lot of truth there and you just need to figure out what they’re, what they’re actually telling you.

Uh, okay, so moving on, let’s talk about, uh, some applications. Of this, of this kind of, uh, work you do. Uh, let’s see. What, what are some of the main applications and jobs that, that you’ve worked on? I, I know that, I know that this kind of work is probably not likely to be admissible in court. Is that correct?

Mark: Well, actually a lot of techniques are admissible in court because they’re, they’re based on the English language. Um, now, like, like we just discussed, you know, saying, I, I swear to God, honest to God. Oh, he’s lying. That, that wouldn’t fly in court. But, but you know, pronouns, [00:31:00] um, are what they are. Um, you had, uh, David Westerfield out in, uh, San Diego, California years ago who, uh, was convicted of killing Danielle Van Dam.

He had kidnapped her on a Friday night and then. Left in his RV and he claimed he was driving, driving around the Southern California countryside for the weekend by himself. And then when he came back on Monday, he found the neighborhoods all up in arms ’cause Danielle is missing. So that’s when the police interviewed him.

But when they asked him about this, you know, excursion that he went on at one point he used the pronoun we

Zach: Oh, right, I heard this. Which,

Mark: which absolutely tells us that somebody else is with you. I mean it’s, we know we is a plural pronoun, but yet throughout this lengthy interview, he insisted he was by himself.

Mm-hmm. And so, uh, they eventually found her body and forensically, they could place her in his rv and linguistically we could place somebody in his rv. That being Danielle. Now they, the detectives picked up on that and confront him on his language. And at this point you’re hoping to get a confession. [00:32:00] Uh, but he didn’t confess.

I don’t know if that was used in court, but I see no reason why you couldn’t use that in court, that as long as everything was legitimate, as far as the interview goes, that he. Use the pronoun we, mm, that we are at this little place because, uh, that’s admissible. Everybody knows we is a plural pronoun, yet he was insisting he was by himself.

And then like with Verb Tenses, you had the, uh, again, out in San Diego, uh, I think it was in 2010, the, uh, McStay family disappeared. Joseph McStay and his wife and two kids, their car was found near the Mexican border. Speculation. They’d walked in the Mexico and, and didn’t come back. Well, a couple days after they reported missing, the police interviewed, uh, Joseph McStay business partner, uh, Charles Merritt, and Merrit told the police, uh, Joseph was my best friend.

I. Well, he used the past tense woods. It should be, Joseph is my best friend. We gotta find him. Well, eventually, several years later, they found their bodies in in some shallow [00:33:00] graves, and they charged merit with their murders. And it still hasn’t gone to trial yet. I. But in their affidavit for his arrest warrant, they used the fact that he talked about their family members in the past tense prior to them, their bodies being discovered.

Oh, interesting. ’cause again, that’s a strong indication that he knows something that we don’t know. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, there are some applications where it can be used in legal proceedings or in the courtroom. Unfortunately, even with prosecutors or even defense attorneys, uh, it just goes unnoticed.

Um, when a, a witness testifies a certain way.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Are you ever called to be an expert in court cases?

Mark: I, I get that question asked a lot, and I usually talk myself out of it because again, I tell them, you don’t need me as an expert to testify that when a person said, uh, well, I, I tried to be truthful, which is what Bill Clinton said, uh, the word tried means I didn’t do it.

Mm-hmm. Hey, I attempted but failed. Uh. You don’t need an expert to testify that you need me there to point out what he’s saying, which is how I help, uh, attorneys and, and [00:34:00] investigators. But, you know, I can’t testify to, like I said, if somebody says, I swear to God, that means they’re being deceptive ’cause that’s not gonna fly.

But since the rest of it’s, I. Most of it’s based on the English language. You just need me there to point out what the person is saying. So I only was asked to testify one time and I, I showed up, but then eventually there was a, a plea agreement was reached. It was, it was a case of he said, she said. But like I said, most of the time you don’t need an expert to, to testify.

And it can, again, I’ve seen it used in the courtroom, but it’s the attorneys have to pick up on the language.

Zach: Yeah. It seems like you’d be really valuable to just be in the courtroom listening to, you know, witnesses as they talk about things and, you know, giving your notes to the, to the lawyers. I, I would just think that would be really valuable, you know?

Uh. At the very least, uh, you know, just, just cover bases of maybe, we’ll, maybe we’ll see. Interesting things to ask. You know, down the, down the line, what other, what [00:35:00] other things do you work on? I know you do some live training. Uh, what are your, what are your, what is your schedule like these days for statement analysis related things?

Mark: I usually go out about every other month for a couple weeks and conduct, uh, three or four seminars just traveling around the country. There are one day seminars. Most of them are open seminars. Anybody can attend. Uh, obviously with my background, most of my audience is law enforcement, but I, I get human resources personnel that will attend, uh, loss prevention officers, private investigators, anybody who does interviews obviously would benefit from the training.

So that keeps me pretty busy conducting the, uh, the seminars. And then I, I have investigators send me statements, uh, to look at and, and give them. My opinion, is this guy being truthful or is he being deceptive? And I try to provide errors if I, if I think they are being deceptive. These are certain areas you should ask about.

I think this is where he is withholding information. [00:36:00]

Zach: Yeah, I would think, uh, I would think for law enforcement, I mean, I, I would hope that they value your kind of training much more than they would value, like nonverbal behavioral or physical behavior stuff. I, I would just think my opinion would be that, you know, verbal analysis would be so much more productive and than, uh, studying.

Behavioral, uh, physical behavior. Do, do you think that’s the case? Do you think that’s generally more respected? Um, the, the, the statement analysis,

Mark: well, the body language, the nonverbal has been around for a long time and so there’s lots of people who, who teach, uh, nonverbal communication and there’s a lot to be gained from that.

Uh, linguistic analysis. There’s not as many people, uh, teaching that, but, and so, but what I tell people is, um, you should focus on the language. I mean, pick up on any obvious nonverbal gestures a person may display, you know, at some point in the interview, they, they cross their arms, they lean back in their chair.

While that’s an indication, [00:37:00] they’re a little closed off, maybe trying to get away from you, but don’t focus on the non verbs. If you’re watching their hands and their eyes, which way are they looking? I. You’re probably not listening to what they’re saying, right? And everything you need to know is gonna be in that statement.

Right now, I tell people, now, sometimes people ask me, what if a body language says one thing and the language says something else? And I say, well, you go with the language. But what you’ll find, I. Is that they won’t contradict each other. I mean, I’ve seen cases where people said, well, his body language says he is lying, but the language says he is telling the truth.

And I say, no, the language indicates he’s lying as well if you listen to what he’s saying. So usually they’ll match up. I mean, if the guy’s being deceptive, it’s gonna pop up several different ways throughout his statement and probably several different ways throughout his, uh, nonverbal gestures.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I, I would just think this, this kind of knowledge would be so helpful for, for, uh, you know, people doing interrogations and I would just hope that. A lot of, a lot of police would, would get this kind of training. It just, you know, it just makes them [00:38:00] better listeners and, you know, they’ll, they’ll miss less, less clues, you know, and yeah, I just, I just hope more people are, uh, more law enforcement, get this training.

I, I think it’s important.

Mark: Yeah. One of the biggest comments I get, you know, when I’m done giving a seminar is that, you know, as people are leaving, they tell me, I wish I had this, you know, 20 years ago.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Mark: You know, and I was the same way when I was out in the field. I wish, uh, yeah, I knew this too. It just, it just does, makes you a better interviewer,

Zach: right?

I mean, yeah, for example, like, I was just watching that Chris Watts video, and if I hadn’t been paying attention, like I was specifically paying attention because I was gonna be interviewing you today. But if I, if I had just let it kind of, you know, flow over me and not listen to it carefully, it would’ve just, those things would’ve just passed by without, without comment.

And I think it’s just a good example of, you know, uh. You gotta be, you gotta be tuned in for. For, uh, serious things that pays to be tuned in.

Mark: And that’s what I tell people when, when you’re in an interview setting, you have to turn it on. Mm-hmm. You listen [00:39:00] to every word that person says when you’re with a friend, a colleague having a conversation.

I mean, we’re, we participate in a conversation, but we’re not hinged on every word they say. We’re thinking about, what am I gonna have for lunch today? You know, what am I doing this weekend? Mm-hmm. In an interview setting. No, you gotta focus on. Everything that person tells you. ’cause sometimes it’s only one word that gives it away, but fortunately, if they’re being deceptive, it’s gonna pop up some different ways, uh, throughout their statement.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Getting, getting back to that per personal, uh, social aspects. You had talked a little bit in your first book about how, uh, you know, being, being, uh, perceptive about these kinds of things can rub your, uh, you know, friends and family members the wrong way that ’cause you’re, you’re analyzing their statements and using that to.

Make decisions, uh, have you learned to kind of turn that off in your, uh, in your day-to-day life? Outside of, outside of work?

Mark: Yeah. That’s what you do. Like I said, you don’t hinge on every word a person’s saying when you’re just talking to a friend, but as I tell them in my seminars, I’m gonna give you some things that [00:40:00] you’ll never forget.

And even if you’re talking to a colleague, they may use a certain word and that light bulb in your head suddenly goes off. Well, well, how do you handle that? Well, again, we realize that sometimes there are indications of deception. That’s why we’re looking for several indications and it, and with a suspect.

You’ll probably get those several indications if they’re being deceptive with a friend. It may just be one word and that’s it. Nothing else indicates deception. Mm-hmm. In an interview setting, you’re gonna ask follow-up questions to determine are they being truthful or deceptive? Are they, you know, skipping over something here, you’re talking to a friend, you’re not gonna ask follow-up questions.

Zach: Yeah. Hopefully not.

Mark: No. So it’s just, it goes, it goes in one ear and out the other. In a situation like that, that’s one way you can kind of handle that.

Zach: Right. I, I feel like there’s a natural, you know, there’s a natural tendency to not use that stuff with, in social situations, even if you have that ability.

It just, it’s kind of a politeness factor. Like you don’t, it’s the same reason you don’t like spy on people when they’re talking. You know, you just, you don’t, you don’t want to do that to people in, in social situations. [00:41:00] Even if you were able to listen and parse their. Conversation, uh, that, that’s how I feel anyway.

It’s like I kind, you kind of wanna turn that off and be polite.

Mark: Ab Absolutely. Or else nobody would talk to you once they think you’re doing

Zach: right. Actually, my first, uh, interview that I did on this podcast, you’re the second person I’ve talked to, but the first, uh. Person I interviewed was a comedian talking about how he used, uh, you know, uh, parsing language and, and body language.

And he talked about how he could tell when friends were, you know, bored or bothered by something he was saying. And he would like, he had learned to not reference that stuff because it bothered them so much that he would like be parsing their, their language and what they were feeling during, uh, you know, his, during him talking.

So I thought that was an interesting tie in there.

Mark: Oh yeah. When, uh, if I meet somebody for the first time and we’re just having a conversation, they ask me what I do. You know, I tell ’em, you know, I’m a retired US marshal, but I tell them that I conduct, uh, [00:42:00] training on interviewing techniques, but I don’t say, I conduct training on how to tell somebody’s lying because again, all of a sudden people’s guards suddenly go up.

Right. You know, so I just label as interviewing techniques, which is true. That’s what we’re doing. Uhhuh.

Zach: Yeah, you, yeah. Sets, sets them on guard for sure, I’m sure. Uh, so, uh, do you feel, have you feel your, uh, skills at this have progressed over the years? Do you feel like you maxed out or near maxed out in skills somewhere along the line?

Or has it been a continual progression of improvement, would you say?

Mark: Yeah, it’s a continual progression of improvement. Um, when I first. Took several courses in linguistic analysis. It was eye-opening for me. I learned a lot. And then over the years doing my own studies, discovered more, uh, deceptive language that people like to use.

And, and I su suspect 10 years from now there’ll be, you know, some more, uh, words or phrases that will, will pop up. And so it’s, it’s a continual thing. I mean, I’m. When I first got into law form, [00:43:00] it was probably like, like most people, not the best listener, um, but by, you know, doing the training, teaching a lot of people, doing the studies, it it gets, it gets me to be a better listener now when I’m doing an interview or watching an interview, you know, on television.

Zach: Do you feel it’s something you were naturally good at before, uh, I guess you already answered that you were, you were average at it?

Mark: Yeah. No, I, I don’t think, uh, I mean’s obviously some people are better listeners than others. I. But I don’t think in terms of picking up on exactly what a person’s telling you, I mean, it’s more, I think of an acquired trait.

Once you’re told, listen for this, then you start to realize, yeah, that does show up a lot in, in deceptive statements.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Okay. Uh, I guess we have a little bit more time than I thought. Uh, if you’re okay for time, uh, we can talk about maybe another current event thing that pops in your mind. Uh, did you have anything else?

Mark: Um, the one that’s been in the news off and on. Uh, Steven Avery. [00:44:00]

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Mark: In 2015, Netflix released their documentary, uh, making a Murder. And Steven, uh, it had to do with, uh, Theresa Halach up in Wisconsin. She was a photographer for the Autotrader Magazine was last seen at the Avery’s auto salvage yard.

Talking to Steven Avery. She was there to take a picture of, uh, I believe it was a minivan that they were gonna sell through the magazine. She had been there other times taking pictures of other cars that they sold through the magazine and Netflix. Avery was convicted of her murder, uh, and sent to prison, but some people felt that the police framed him, and that’s because in 1985, he was wrongfully convicted of a sexual assault case spent, I think it was 18 years in prison before DNA exonerated him.

Mm-hmm. So he got a bad rap and he was suing the county. And I think that’s why some people felt that, well, maybe the police framed him. ’cause now he’s suing the county for mis imprisonment or whatever the title might [00:45:00] be for that. And the documentary by Netflix leans in that direction. I. Well, a couple days after Halach disappeared, a reporter interviewed Steven Avery and the reporter asked Steven Avery, did she mention any, any other appointments that day or anything like that, you know, trying to track, uh, halach, uh, whereabouts, and Avery replied, I don’t think so.

’cause most of the time she takes a picture, then she writes down the serial number, then she comes and collects the money, and that’s about it. And again, that’s a truthful statement. But the key words is, he said, I don’t think so, because most of the time, Hmm. And he is right. Most of the time that she was there.

That’s exactly what she did. But he couldn’t say that. She took a picture, wrote down the serial number, you know, collected the money, and, and left because she never left those premises. Hmm. And they had found. I think her car keys and his trailer, which sits on the property, they found her cell phone and a burn barrel next to his trailer.

They found parts of her bones and a burn pit [00:46:00] behind his trailer, and that’s why he was convicted. But again, a good reporter, a good interview would realize, well, you just told me what she did most of the time. Mm-hmm. Of course. I’m asking you, what did she just do, you know, two nights ago? Mm-hmm. When, when you, when she was at your, uh, at your, uh, business.

Mm-hmm. And so that’s that to me, as soon as I heard that was a big red flag that, uh, no, he had something to do with her disappearance. I mean, no doubt in my mind, based on other statements that he, uh, had killed Theresa Halach.

Zach: Yeah. That was, uh, surprising how many people seemed to assume that he was innocent from watching that documentary, because I know the documentary didn’t include a lot of incriminating things.

I’ve, I’ve read the list of incriminating things that they didn’t include, and I, I was really surprised by how many people were. Basically, you know, um, completely took the side of Avery for that, for that second crime, for that murder. Uh, when, to me, even watching the documentary, I was, I had a lot of questions.

I was like, this, uh, you could, you could simultaneously see that he didn’t commit the [00:47:00] first crime and yet find it probable that he committed the murder. Uh, and that was before I even realized all the information that they left out of the documentary, which was a lot of incriminating stuff. So, uh. Yeah. So that’s a, that’s an interesting one.

Have to look for that interview. I hadn’t, I hadn’t seen that. Uh, I’d like to see an interview of him about that.

Mark: And I think they were working on a, a second documentary, but I haven’t seen if that’s out yet or not. Hmm.

Zach: Okay. Uh, so if people were interested in, uh, learning more about your work, reading your work, what would you recommend them to do?

Where would they go?

Mark: Uh, I go to my website, it’s statement analysis.com. And, um, you had mentioned, you know, the two books I’d written. They’re, they’re available through my website as well as amazon.com. Uh, I know you’re aligned and, and don’t be deceived. If you go to my website, uh, you’ll see I have some on demand training.

It’s the same information I share in my one day seminars. And so you can also look at my seminars page, see where I’ll be if I’m gonna be in, [00:48:00] in your, in your area. But if not, you can take the on demand training and it’s, uh, it’s equivalent to seven to eight hours of training. Uh, certificate of completion when you, you complete it, there are some, a short quiz at the end of each lesson.

You know, it’s an open book test, uh, but to make sure people just don’t whiz through it. And then at the end, there’s a final test statement. People analyze. I have them send me their analysis and I give ’em some feedback on, on how well they’re doing. I also have a famous cases page on my website. Anything I see in the news of national interest, if I can get ahold of a transcript, I’ll analyze it and, and post my analysis of that case.

Uh, there’s probably over 40 cases on there right now, and so it’s a good way to, to pick up on some additional techniques, uh, that might not be in the books. ’cause anything I see in those statements, I will put it on the website there. So a lot, a lot of people find that interesting reading those, uh, case analysis.

Zach: Right? Yeah. I’ll have to check that out. I, I had missed that, that [00:49:00] section. Uh, yeah, that sounds great. Any, any other plans for, uh, other books in the works or any other big projects?

Mark: Uh, no other books. I think the two books pretty much, uh, sum it up. Uh. Writing a book is hard. You gotta be very detailed. I mean, speaking is a lot easier.

I think I’d rather speak for a week than, than, than write another book. Um, but I, yeah, I’m

Zach: kind of, I’m burning, I’m burning on the books myself.

Mark: Yeah. You know how it is. Uh, but I plan to put some, uh, YouTube videos out, perhaps, uh, series on, uh, statement analysis, just very short videos, things to look for in a statement, some of the things we talked about, and some additional techniques as well.

I’m hoping to do that in the near future.

Zach: Gotcha. Okay. Well thanks a lot for coming on, mark. It was great and educational to talk to you and, uh, it’s, this has been Mark ish, everyone, and that’ll do it. Thanks.